PRETTY WORDS – The Things Women Want To Hear

By Terry Loving

PRETTY WORDS

You say you think I’m beautiful
You say you live for my touch
Tell me the things I want to hear
Don’t you know you can never say too much

CHORUS:

You gotta keep tellin’ me things I want to hear
You gotta say pretty words every time you’re near
You gotta show me that you care
So I’ll know you’ll be there right through the years
Please tell me, please tell me things I want to hear
Pretty words, pretty words, pretty words

Tell me the words that touch my heart
Promise you want me to stay
Tell me that we will never part
Say I’m the one you’ll be loving more each day

(chorus)

Words I wanna hear (pretty words)
…& fade ¹

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Ahh, those “pretty words.” As a woman, I love them too. What woman doesn’t want to hear words that uplift her soul – make her smile – assure her that she is desired and wanted? Romance novels and movies are filled with moments of enthralling compliments from the lips of man who desires woman. She drinks his words like a healing liquid that sustains her, moves her, revives her – and ultimately – traps her. Reality is no different.

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The seducers seduce. The beguilers beguile. Guards are weakened – often tossed carelessly aside – oh those pretty words – her will is no longer hers – she belongs to him – completely. Sound familiar? It should. Abusers gain entry into our lives not by violence and abuse, but by the things they say. If they started out day one exhibiting violence, we would run as fast and far as we could. There would be no second, third or fourth chances. The Cycle of Violence would not exist – for we would not stick around long enough to help (unknowingly) create it.

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You say you think I’m beautiful
You say you live for my touch
Tell me the things I want to hear
Don’t you know you can never say too much

Every woman desires to hear that she is “beautiful.” Although by society’s warped standards – she is not. Unfortunately, beauty in our society is measured by “good looks” – and a “hot” body to go with it. Many women will not see themselves in this category, therefore they will welcome any dialogue that lifts them up, and places them (in her mind), along-side the women that most men desire. On the other hand, a woman could be labeled a “hot babe,” and she will fall victim to the same enticing dialogue. If a woman is suffering from low self-worth, it makes the abuser’s crafty game of conquest much easier. Understand though, abuse does not discriminate.

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Sweet talking guys practice their spiel, and they know what works, and what doesn’t. Abusers do not meet a woman and fess up to being a violent, verbally abusive hot head. They start off most times – lying – stretching the truth – and putting on a show for their unsuspecting victims. I doubt there is an abuser alive that will walk up to a woman that he wants to date and say, “Hi, I beat women – is that OK with you?” NO! He will put his best sham forward, and hope that she doesn’t see the real messed up person he is before he seduces her mind – and often – her body.

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Tell me the things I want to hear
Don’t you know you can never say too much

Abusers know what women desire, or they can certainly find out. All they have to do is talk to women they work with – the females in their families – read magazines related to women – and listen intently to what we have to say on a date. Speaking of which, we often reveal much too much. Here’s an example – if you reveal to your future abuser that no one ever bought you flowers, he will bring or send you flowers – even if he has to steal them from a grave site. If he can afford it, he will send flowers to your job – especially on special days such as your birthday or Valentine’s Day – and we know what a boost to the ego that is. Every woman desires to be that “special” one.

Abusers will pick up on clues to manipulate your mind into believing that they really care about what pleases and concerns you. Of course, the flowers will stop when the violence and abuse begins – except perhaps during the “Honeymoon” stage of the violence. During this time, they will use whatever tactics that worked to gain your trust in the first place. After all, it worked then why should it not work now?

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Even while nursing a busted lip an abuser may say, “You are so beautiful.” He will play mind games even when you are battered and bruised. The more your self-worth plummets, the more you desire to hear those pretty words, even if he doesn’t mean you any good. Pretty words are “pretty,” but many times they turn into venomous verbal tirades. If something sounds too good to be true – trust your instinct – most times it is a trap.

We must learn to think with our heads, and not with our hearts.

(NOTE: Not all men who compliment and say nice things to you are abusers)

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“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.” (1 John 4:1)

(Even though this scripture refers to “false prophets,” it is wise to heed, and “test the spirits” just the same).

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“Signs YOU need to know about abusive, controlling men”

¹ http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/t/the_shirelles/the_things_i_want_to_hear.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaRNua-ads4

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http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

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NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE REGISTRY

ABUSERS DATABASE

“It’s time for all to date responsibly, know who you are dating and what secrets lie in their past. We help you foster greater awareness of your dating choices! This Knowledge will Save Your Life!!!”

http://www.domesticviolencedatabase.org/default-db.asp

DATE RESPONSIBLY

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I Said I Was Sorry

by Mark Gungor on October 5th, 2009

“I hear tales all the time of men who have done hurtful things—huge things like having an affair or smaller things like saying something very mean and spiteful—and then they say, “I’m sorry” and expect it all to go away. When it doesn’t these guys get upset and throw it back on their wives because his wife “can’t get over it”. It just doesn’t work that way for women. Men need to learn that pushing her to “move on” isn’t the answer. The answer is for you to own the problem that you created.”

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http://spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

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