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IS THE WORD OF GOD OFFENSIVE???

By Terry Loving

PLEASE NOTE: THIS POST IS NOT A “STAND BEHIND PHIL” POST. I STAND FOR AMERICAN’S HAVING FREEDOM TO SPEAK THE WORD OF GOD PUBLICALLY WITHOUT REPERCUSSIONS. Our society is rapidly changing, and we must be careful how we cry out for censorship – whether we agree with what is said or not.

Bible

… “just as it is written, “BEHOLD, I LAY IN ZION A STONE OF STUMBLING AND A ROCK OF OFFENSE, AND HE WHO BELIEVES IN HIM WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED.” Romans 9:33

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“For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12   New American Standard Bible

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 “The Holy Scriptures are the word of God. When God sets it home by his Spirit, it convinces powerfully, converts powerfully, and comforts powerfully. It makes a soul that has long been proud, to be humble; and a perverse spirit, to be meek and obedient. Sinful habits, that are become as it were natural to the soul, and rooted deeply in it, are separated and cut off by this sword. It will discover to men their thoughts and purposes, the vileness of many, the bad principles they are moved by, the sinful ends they act to. The word will show the sinner all that is in his heart. Let us hold fast the doctrines of Christian faith in our heads, its enlivening principles in our hearts, the open profession of it in our lips, and be subject to it in our lives.” Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary

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spread the Gospel

More and more our society is moving towards hatred of the Word of God. Christians who uphold Biblical principles they strive to live by are under attack for their lack of so-called political/Biblical correctness. Publically speaking out against the very sins that God Himself speaks against is a sure way to incur the wrath of those who pick and choose what Scriptures they find more palatable – and of course, anger from those who don’t believe in God at all.

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Jesus said in Matthew 10:34
“Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.”

Further:

Luke 12:52
“From now on there will be five in one family divided against each other, three against two and two against three.”

Luke 12:49
“I have come to bring fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled!

 Luke 12:53
“They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.”

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The above Scriptures clearly state that “peace on earth” was, and is not the intended purpose of the Gospel of Christ. “The bringing in the gospel dispensation would occasion desolations. Not that this would be the tendency of Christ’s religion, which is pure, peaceable, and loving; but the effect of its being contrary to men’s pride and lusts.” Luke 12:51

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Because the Gospel is contrary to the lifestyle of the world, it will be rejected and despised. Hebrews 4:12 says the Word of God is “living,” and “active.” If it were not, the heart of man would not be convicted by it. Therefore, whenever a Christian speaks the Word of God to a non-believing public, he or she will be hated – but also forewarned that this would be so:

“If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you.” John 15:18

the stones will cry out

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Christ Divides Men

      49“I have come to cast fire upon the earth; and how I wish it were already kindled! 50“But I have a baptism to undergo, and how distressed I am until it is accomplished! 51“Do you suppose that I came to grant peace on earth? I tell you, no, but rather division; 52for from now on five members in one household will be divided, three against two and two against three. 53“They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.”

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Believers and non-believers will be at odds. Light and darkness will oppose one another. Not only will this take place in the world, but within our very own families.

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“For everyone who does evil hates the Light, and does not come to the Light for fear that his deeds will be exposed.” New American Standard Bible  John 3:20

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When Jesus walked the earth, He had followers and opposers. Many people loved Him, and others hated Him to the point of killing Him. What did He do wrong? He healed the sick, fed multitudes, raised the dead, imparted comfort from God’s Word, associated with and loved those who society cast aside – really, what did He do wrong? Nothing!

jeremiah 20 9

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What those who opposed Him accused Him of was His proclamation of equality with God the Father:

“I and the Father are one.” John 10:30 New American Standard Bible

The Jews were appalled, for this declaration in their eyes amounted to blasphemy. This was more than they could stand. Something had to be done – and death was the solution.

No one in our present society has ever met Jesus. So what has He done to cause such hatred towards Him today? Nothing!

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Our Lord carried out His purpose on earth, bridging the gap between sinful mankind and a Holy God – He spoke the Words that God gave Him to show man a better way to live, and the only way to die – in Christ – in order to be with Him forever. Obedience to the Word of Life brings salvation, eternal life with Christ – who wouldn’t want to embrace this and much more – even in the midst of our suffering on earth for the cause of Christ?

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Well, those who choose to live the opposite of Scripture, who seek their own way, reject the “narrow way” in favor of the “broad way.” Whenever the Word of God is spoken, it is like a mirror held up to our faces and we see deep into our souls what we really are. If you do not like what you see – convictions of the heart – you will strive to make changes if your heart is receptive to the living Word of God. Otherwise, you will reject it and persecute those who speak out boldly upholding their convictions that Jesus is the Son of God – and the Way to eternal salvation. Obedience to the Word means life change, which many reject.

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What the world does not understand is the fact that Christians are commanded to speak the Word of God and not be ashamed:

Mark 8:38

“If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his Father’s glory with the holy angels.”

There is a severe price to pay for disowning our Lord:

Matthew 10:33

“But whoever disowns me before others, I will disown before my Father in heaven.”

Luke 9:26

“Whoever is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.”

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Francis of assisis

Pulpit Commentary

Verse 38. – Our Lord here looks onward to the day of judgment. Whosoever shall be ashamed of me. “Whosoever:” the word includes all, whatever their position or circumstances may be. “Shall be ashamed of me;” that is, shall deny my faith, or blush to confess me here. Of him shall the Son of man be ashamed; that is, Christ will despise him, when he shall appear with power and great glory, in that sublime majesty which he gained by his death upon the cross. In this adulterous and sinful generation. It adds to the disgrace of being ashamed of Christ that the shame is manifested in the presence of the base and the worthless; and therefore our Lord exhibits the contrast between the mean and contemptible people in the presence of whom men are ashamed of him here, and the magnificent assemblage in whose presence he will be ashamed of them hereafter. The cross of Christ appeared to the great body of mankind to be shameful and contemptible. To the Jews it was a stumbling-block, and to the Greek’s foolishness. Hence vast numbers, whether through shame or fear, did not dare to confess it, and still less to preach it. And therefore it is that St. Paul says (Romans 1:l6), “I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ.”

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1 Corinthians 1:18
“For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.”

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God is not mocked

Significance for our Time

 “Inclusiveness.”

“A key word in today’s society is “inclusiveness”. We are told that we should accept “alternative lifestyles”, accept all sorts of behavior that used to be considered unacceptable. Those who are considered unwilling to do so may be required to receive “sensitivity training”. The watchword is “tolerance”. Some have almost made a god of tolerance. Yet we find these same people can be quite intolerant of any viewpoint that does not tolerate every kind of behavior. Any deviation from the standard of tolerance is considered intolerable, and there are efforts in many countries, including ours, to make it illegal. In parts of Canada, for example, it is now illegal and punishable by law for anyone simply to repeat what the Bible says about certain forms of behavior.”

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 “Jesus was never tolerant of evil. He reached out to the sinner in love, but he hated sin. When a woman was found in adultery, Jesus did not say, “Your lifestyle is fine”. He said, “Go now and leave your life of sin” (John 8:11). In his Sermon on the Mount and in other teachings he insisted on a very high moral standard. He denounced the religious leaders of his time, saying “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, hypocrites” (Matthew chapter 23).

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“Scripture teaches that those who do certain kinds of acts, and live in certain kinds of ways (including impurity and sexual immorality), will not inherit the kingdom of God and will incur God’s wrath (Ephesians 5:5-7; Colossians 3:5-6; Galatians 5:19; see Romans 1:18-32; Revelation 21:8). It tells us “do not be partners” with such people (Ephesians 5:7). Jesus will come again “in blazing fire” to “punish those who do not know God and do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ” (2 Thessalonians 1:7,9)..

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Where many today teach tolerance of every conceivable kind of behavior, Jesus drew a sharp line of division. He said that some behavior is sinful and should not be tolerated. He said that some things are good and some things are evil, and the evil cannot be tolerated or accepted. I believe we urgently need that line of division today. http://www.scriptureinsights.com/Divide.html

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let-the-light-of-the-glorious-gospel-of-christ-so-shine

“13Who is there to harm you if you prove zealous for what is good? 14But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. AND DO NOT FEAR THEIR INTIMIDATION, AND DO NOT BE TROUBLED, 15but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence; 16and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ will be put to shame. 17For it is better, if God should will it so, that you suffer for doing what is right rather than for doing what is wrong. 18For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, having been put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit; 19in which also He went and made proclamation to the spirits now in prison, 20who once were disobedient, when the patience of God kept waiting in the days of Noah, during the construction of the ark, in which a few, that is, eight persons, were brought safely through the water. 21Corresponding to that, baptism now saves you—not the removal of dirt from the flesh, but an appeal to God for a good conscience—through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, 22who is at the right hand of God, having gone into heaven, after angels and authorities and powers had been subjected to Him.”

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reaching-the-lost

Ezekiel 3:16-21 ESV / 13 helpful votes

“And at the end of seven days, the word of the Lord came to me: “Son of man, I have made you a watchman for the house of Israel. Whenever you hear a word from my mouth, you shall give them warning from me. If I say to the wicked, ‘You shall surely die,’ and you give him no warning, nor speak to warn the wicked from his wicked way, in order to save his life, that wicked person shall die for his iniquity, but his blood I will require at your hand. But if you warn the wicked, and he does not turn from his wickedness, or from his wicked way, he shall die for his iniquity, but you will have delivered your soul. Again, if a righteous person turns from his righteousness and commits injustice, and I lay a stumbling block before him, he shall die. Because you have not warned him, he shall die for his sin, and his righteous deeds that he has done shall not be remembered, but his blood I will require at your hand.”

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faith comes by hearing

“The Lord told the prophet he had appointed him a watchman to the house of Israel. If we warn the wicked, we are not chargeable with their ruin. Though such passages refer to the national covenant made with Israel, they are equally to be applied to the final state of all men under every dispensation. We are not only to encourage and comfort those who appear to be righteous, but they are to be warned, for many have grown high-minded and secure, have fallen, and even died in their sins. Surely then the hearers of the gospel should desire warnings, and even reproofs.”   Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary

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New American Standard Bible
“If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” Joshua 24:15

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In a recent edition of GQ, the patriarch of the “Dynasty” spoke out concerning his views on sin, and the result has been a media buzz and outcry from GLAAD denouncing his statements. In what now might appear as an attempt to stir up controversy, GQ asked the A&E star of Duck Dynasty about his views regarding sin. In response, Phil, who has referred to himself in the past as a Bible-thumper, responded unsurprisingly by quoting the same Bible he claims to regularly thump. Phil, in response to the question on sin stated, “start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men.” He continued on to state, “Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolators, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers – they won’t inherit the Kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.”

” 9Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, 10nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. 11Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.”  1Corinthians:6-11

IS THIS NOT AMERICA – The land of “Free speech?” “Religious freedom? Protected by our Constitution??????

blog-spot-free-speech3

“The comments made by Phil, drawn out by GQ’s Drew Magerty, caused GLAAD to almost immediately cry foul, however the large christian population and viewership appears to be twiddling their thumbs and watching the entire fiasco play out. GLAAD spokesperson Wilson Cruz in speaking to the press lashed out in response to Phil’s statements accusing Phil of misquoting the Bible and attempting to perpetuate “myths” and “lies” concerning the homosexual and wider LGBT communities.”

There was no misquoting the Bible by Phil. Many view the Bible as of book of “myths” and “lies” to support their ungodly way of life. Drew Magerty asked Phil questions that pertained to his faith, and Phil did what the Bible says we should do when confronted with our beliefs: 1 Peter 3:15-17

New American Standard Bible
13Who is there to harm you if you prove zealous for what is good? 14But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. AND DO NOT FEAR THEIR INTIMIDATION, AND DO NOT BE TROUBLED, 15but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence; 16and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ will be put to shame. 17For it is better, if God should will it so, that you suffer for doing what is right rather than for doing what is wrong.”

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Voltaire

IS THE WORD OF GOD OFFENSIVE???? Only to those who despise hearing what thus saith the Lord

New American Standard Bible
“To whom shall I speak and give warning That they may hear? Behold, their ears are closed And they cannot listen. Behold, the word of the LORD has become a reproach to them; They have no delight in it.” Jeremiah 6:10

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/huckabee-weighs-in-on-duck-dynasty-controversy/

Huckabee weighs in on “Duck Dynasty” controversy

“What we’ve seen is that there is a new level of bullying of the part of these militant activist groups,” said Huckabee, a former pastor and 2008 presidential candidate, said on “Fox News Sunday”. “I think it has come to a point in our culture where political correctness has made it so that if you want to take a point of view that is traditional, that holds to steadfast, old fashioned biblical Christian values, which are also, by the way, values of traditional Judaism, and even Islam, that somehow you’re supposed to just shut up and keep that to yourself. But if you want to advocate for same-sex marriage, we’re supposed to be very tolerant.”

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John 3:19
This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.

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Duck Dynasty: Phil Quotes Bible, GLAAD Cries Foul, Christians Silently Twiddle Thumbs

“The announcement of Phil’s suspension from the show does not appear as of yet to have been met with any significant outcry from christians who at least presumably believe in the same Bible that Phil referenced in his statements, and no such cry has come from viewers either. It remains to be seen whether significant support for Phil will be shown by viewers or the wider christian population at large.”

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Other networks eager to air ‘Duck Dynasty’

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Network quiet amid petitions calling for boycott over ‘Duck Dynasty’ move

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Pedophile support group seeks ‘truth and dignity’ – Want same rights as homosexuals

August 2, 2013 (Renewamerica.com) – Who could’ve seen this coming? Well, those of us who can see the “logical” end results of the radical homosexual movement, that’s who. With homosexual activists on the march throughout our government, military, schools and society in general, many of us have warned that their push for special “rights” would – besides trample on the freedoms of speech, religion and association of those who oppose them – inevitably lead to demands by other sexual deviants, like pedophiles, for their own societal affirmation.

Jack Minor, in his column titled “Pedophiles want same rights as homosexuals,” wrote: Using the same tactics used by “gay” rights activists, pedophiles have begun to seek similar status arguing their desire for children is a sexual orientation no different than heterosexual or homosexuals.

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WOE UNREPENTANT AMERICA!

“Our nation is walking in darkness, and it’s getting darker by the minute.”

http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2013
All rights reserved.

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Posted by on December 22, 2013 in Preaching The Pure Word Of God!

 

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GOD LOVES WOMEN? YOU CAN BET ON IT!

By Terry Loving

Crown of Indian women

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.”

 (A relationship with God and eternal life is offered to “whoever” – male and female)

I received an email from someone named “J” – and I promised to reply to their inquiry. With their permission, my reply is this post, for there are many – especially women – who may feel the same way “J” does. Below is the unedited email:

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“Comment: the woman in India has died, i read last night. she was gang raped. it is modern day Judges 19. where does God say He loves women, where does God say He hates the sin of a guy using God given strength to over power & beat & rape a woman to death like in Judges 19. He didn’t give women strength , He made them a target for pain & suffering. i need to know where He says its wrong to hurt women.”

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First of all, YES! – God loves women! His only begotten Son died for male and female – everyone. Also, God has given women more strength and courage than we utilize for our own sakes. Sorry, I do not agree with, “He made them a target for pain & suffering.” I understand your anger over the rape and death of that precious Indian woman. The whole world should be outraged. However, God did not rape or murder her – those who were influenced by evil – harbor evil within their hearts – take pleasure in doing evil took her innocence and her life.

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New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”

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Jesus-Christ-Samaritan-Well-mormon

Although a horrible rape resulted in death in Judges 19 as well, I find that many people do not dig deeper into the story to find the ultimate truth.  When tragedy strikes, too often we blame God for the happening, and quickly assume – in the case of Judges 19 for instance – that God favors men, and does not place a premium on women. Please understand that everything that man did in the Bible was not always justified in the sight of God, nor was everything permitted by God. Too often, assumptions are made to justify the doings of man. There are many examples in the Bible where men made decisions they erroneously believed would bring them favor with God, but ultimately – God was displeased.

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New American Standard Bible (©1995)

“Behold, I have found only this, that God made men upright, but they have sought out many devices.”   (devices = schemes, follow their own downward path, seek many alternatives, sought many inventions, looked for many ways [to avoid being decent]) –      http://bible.cc/ecclesiastes/7-29.htm

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BACKGROUND INFORMATION

The Levites spoken of in Judges 19 and Judges 17: 7-13 were viewed as men close to God, for they served in the Temple of God.

“Originally, firstborn sons were designated to be the holy tribe, the ones who would serve in the Tabernacle and the Temples, and be the spiritual leaders of our nation; G-d having “acquired” them when He spared them during the Plague of the Firstborn in Egypt. When the Tribe of Levi proved their mettle during the debacle of the Golden Calf, G-d removed the privilege of priesthood from the firstborns and instead sanctified the entire tribe of Levi.

Moses blessed the tribe of Levi, saying, “They shall teach Your ordinances to Jacob, and Your Torah to Israel.” Aside for their Temple duties, the tribe served as the rabbis and teachers of their Israelite brethren.” 1

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samaritanwoman

“Michah” in Judges 17: 7-13

Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary

“17:7-13 Micah thought it was a sign of God’s favour to him and his images, that a Levite should come to his door. Thus those who please themselves with their own delusions, if Providence unexpectedly bring any thing to their hands that further them in their evil way, are apt from thence to think that God is pleased with them.”

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Jewish custom places a high premium on hospitality.

In Rabbinical Literature:

“Among the ethical teachings of the Rabbis, the duties of hospitality occupy a very prominent position. Some regard hospitality more highly than the reception given to the Shekinah (Divine Presence); others make it superior to visiting the house of study; others, again, consider it as one of the six meritorious deeds whose reward is like a tree, the fruit of which man enjoys in this world, while the trunk remains for his enjoyment in the world to come (Shab. 127a). Special emphasis was laid upon the hospitality due to a scholar, so that it was said that one who shows hospitality to a student of the Law is regarded as if he had offered the daily sacrifice (Ber. 10b, 63b, id. 76b; Gen. R. lviii. 12).”

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The old man in Judges 19 perhaps felt that he had two situations to defend, a Levite and one to whom he extended the hand of hospitality. In this case, it isn’t God Himself who is making the distinction, but man. Rather than suffer perceived consequences for allowing a son of the priesthood line and his guest be overtaken by evil men, the owner addressed the crowd in this manner:

23The owner of the house went outside and said to them, “No, my friends, don’t be so vile. Since this man is my guest, don’t do this disgraceful thing. 24Look, here is my virgin daughter, and his concubine. I will bring them out to you now, and you can use them and do to them whatever you wish. But to this man, don’t do such a disgraceful thing.”

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beautiful_feet-5

Again, this wasn’t a decision made by God, but by the man of the house and the Levite.

In the same way, Lot offered his daughter’s instead of the two angels:

1The two angels arrived at Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gateway of the city. When he saw them, he got up to meet them and bowed down with his face to the ground. 2“My lords,” he said, “please turn aside to your servant’s house. You can wash your feet and spend the night and then go on your way early in the morning.”

Lot also made the decision to offer up his daughter’s to evil men desiring to have sex with the angels.

Clarke’s Commentary on the Bible

“Here is my daughter, a maiden – Such a proposal was made by Lot to the men of Sodom, Genesis 19:8, but nothing can excuse either. That the rights of hospitality were sacred in the East, and most highly regarded we know; and that a man would defend, at the expense of his life, the stranger whom he had admitted under his roof, is true; but how a father could make such a proposal relative to his virgin daughter, must remain among those things which are incomprehensible.”

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Gill’s Exposition of the Entire Bible

...”let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes; this was a very great evil in Lot to make such an offer of his daughters; it was contrary to parental love and affection, an exposing the chastity of his daughters, which should have been his care to preserve; nor had he a power to dispose of them in such a manner: and though fornication is a lesser evil than sodomy, yet all evil is to be avoided, and even it is not to be done that good may come: nothing can be said to excuse this good man, but the hurry of spirit, and confusion of mind that he was in, not knowing what to say or do to prevent the base designs of those men; that he might be pretty certain they would not accept of his offer, their lust burning more after men than women; that this showed his great regard to the laws of hospitality, that he had rather sacrifice his daughters to their brutal lusts, than give up the men that were in his house to them; and that he might hope that this would soften their minds, and put them off of any further attempt; but after all it must be condemned as a dangerous and imprudent action:…”

 

Movie - One Night With The King - Queen Esther

Movie – One Night With The King – Queen Esther

Neither of these situations suggests that God Himself commanded the old man, the Levite, or Lot make such sacrifices. But one thing should be noted in both scenarios, the perpetrators were eventually destroyed.  The rape and murder of the concubine in Judges 19 triggered a civil war. The rapists were of the tribe of Benjamin, and the elders refused to give them up to justice when commanded by the other Jewish tribes.

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Prior to the general assembly of the tribes of  Israel, the husband of the concubine cut her body into twelve pieces, representing the twelve tribes of Israel – and sent them each a visual impact of the horror that had taken place.:

29When he reached home, he took a knife and cut up his concubine, limb by limb, into twelve parts and sent them into all the areas of Israel. 30Everyone who saw it said, “Such a thing has never been seen or done, not since the day the Israelites came up out of Egypt. Think about it! Consider it! Tell us what to do!”

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In those days, Israel had no king, or magistrates to consider and punish this crime. Therefore, it was up to the people to decide what punishment the men of Gibeah should face – the death penalty was decided. The tribes of Benjamin refused to deliver up the malefactors of Gibeah to justice. The tribe of Benjamin took a stand against the united force of all Israel, fought against justice, and consequently against the just God Himself.

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In Judges Chapter 20, you can read about the civil war which the rape and murder spurred. The Israelites obtained over the Benjamites in the third engagement. The first two times they went to battle they did not consult God, but assumed that their cause was righteous enough that God was automatically on their side – they depended upon themselves too much – assumption can be defeating.

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After the war, there was a remnant of Benjamites, 600 men who took shelter in the rock of Rimmon for four months. The perpetrators were killed in the battle, and God gave the victory to the tribes that fought for justice and punishment of the evil men who raped and murdered to satisfy their evil lusts.

Jude 1:7

 “In a similar way, Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding towns gave themselves up to sexual immorality and perversion. They serve as an example of those who suffer the punishment of eternal fire.”

When we do not “rightly divide” the Word of God, we often blame God unjustly. On the surface, the rape of the concubine may seem that God favors men over women, but this is not true. Not only did God stand for justice, He loved this woman enough to avenge the wrong she suffered. How many civil wars in our modern living were fought over rape, domestic violence, and injustice period? Today, we have the judicial system that Israel did not have; therefore, we have access to justice and retribution through our laws. Most importantly, God is a God of justice – He will avenge all wrong.

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women at tomb

“where does God say He loves women, where does God say He hates the sin of a guy using God given strength to over power & beat & rape a woman to death like in Judges 19.”

I believe I have shown through this example how much this woman was loved, and how justice was served.

“He didn’t give women strength , He made them a target for pain & suffering. i need to know where He says its wrong to hurt women.”

We live in a fallen world, and we should not blame evil doings on God. Too often we get angry with God when a loved one dies, or is taken from us tragically. Humans want it all – free will, a God hands-off policy, and a Divine puppet. We do not want God telling us what to do, and yet, we want Him to be there when something happens to visually and instantly satisfy our need for justice and revenge. One woman stated to me a while ago, “God has some explaining to do!” She was barren and angry that God did not see fit to bless her womb. News flash, God does not owe us any explanation at all:

Isaiah 45:9 “Woe to him who quarrels with his Maker, to him who is but a potsherd among the potsherds on the ground. Does the clay say to the potter, ‘What are you making?’ Does your work say, ‘He has no hands’?

Romans 9:20 “But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? “Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’”

Isaiah 64:8 “Yet, O LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.”

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woman_touching_jesus

“He made them a target for pain & suffering. i need to know where He says its wrong to hurt women.”

Throughout the Bible you can read where God hates injustice and wrongdoing. To say that God made women “a target for pain & suffering” is unjust. It is Satan who hates women, and all mankind. Our world is experiencing spiritual warfare like no other time in history, and yet – God gets the blame for all the bad things done in this world. We fail to acknowledge that evil exists and the fact that humanity has a spiritual enemy:

Revelation 12:9

“The great dragon was hurled down–that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him.”

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“For this reason, rejoice, O heavens and you who dwell in them. Woe to the earth and the sea, because the devil has come down to you, having great wrath, knowing that he has only a short time.”

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”

Job 1:7 “The LORD said to Satan, “Where have you come from?” Satan answered the LORD, “From roaming through the earth and going back and forth in it.”

“Your adversary the devil – This is the reason why ye should be sober and vigilant; ye have an ever active, implacable, subtle enemy to contend with. He walketh about – he has access to you everywhere; he knows your feelings and your propensities, and informs himself of all your circumstances; only God can know more and do more than he, therefore your care must be cast upon God.”      Clarke’s Commentary on the Bible

As a roaring lion – Satan tempts under three forms:

1. The subtle serpent; to beguile our senses, pervert our judgment, and enchant our imagination.

2. As an angel of light; to deceive us with false views of spiritual things, refinements in religion, and presumption on the providence and grace of God.

3. As a roaring lion; to bear us down, and destroy us by violent opposition, persecution, and death. Thus he was acting towards the followers of God at Pontus, etc., who were now suffering a grievous persecution.

Satan is an enemy to mankind in general, but more especially to the seed of the woman, to Christ personal, and to Christ mystical, to all the elect of God:

The devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour. He goeth about as the lion, seeking for prey. The lion while hunting only roars when it springs. So the devil is stealthy and does not give warning of his approach.

Evil is not of God!

satan cast out

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Question: Does God love women?

“Answer: This is an interesting question, but it certainly has a Scriptural answer. First let me remind you that it says in Genesis: “So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” (Genesis 1:27) In other words it takes both the attributes of the woman and the man to see what God is like, since both are half of the picture (image) of God.” (Read more)

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“I believe one reason Jesus may have appeared to the women first after He had arisen from the dead is because He loved them, but also because of their courage under fire that the male disciples did not show when He died on the cross. All the rest of the males had run away except for John. Mary, Jesus’ mother, and other women were at the cross when Jesus died.” (Read more)

“Who did Jesus stop to talk to on His way to Golgotha, was it not the women?” (Read more)

“Why else would these women have been so loyal to Jesus except that He had had a godly love for them! Who is Jesus? He is God in the flesh, what He was like is exactly what God the Father is like! Does He love women? certainly He does! (Read more)

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God loves wives so much that He stops listening to the prayers of their husbands if they mistreat their wives – that’s HUGE!

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.”

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In conclusion “J”, please read posts from this site and you will find many scriptures that speak to God’s displeasure of mistreating women, and one another period.

It is my hope that you have been enlightened, and that the Holy Spirit will touch your heart with truth. It is man that twisted the scriptures to paint our God and Savior as members of the earthly “good ole boys network.” That is the work of Satan.

Thank you for allowing me under the direction of the Holy Spirit to answer your inquiry. May God bless you with His everlasting Peace.

Peace be unto you.

Terry

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“God does not make bad things happen, but religion most certainly can. Since the first words were written in the Bible, men have twisted it to justify their own beliefs, prejudices, and even their own dark desires. That truth is proven even more so in this film.”  (Review quote)

follow the prophet

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1 http://www.askmoses.com/en/article/261,2081262/What-is-a-Levite.html

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Posted by on January 5, 2013 in SATANIC INFLUENCE

 

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND VICTIM BLAMING

By Terry Loving

Domestic-Violence

New American Standard Bible (©1995)

“You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”

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“Unlike other victims of violent crime, battered women are often viewed by the police, the prosecutor, judges, jurors and probation/parole staff as responsible for the crimes committed against them; responsible either because battered women are believed to “provoke” the perpetrator into violence or because they are believed to have the power to avoid the criminal assault through accommodating the perpetrator’s demands. Other victims of violent crime are not seen as culpable for the crimes inflicted upon them, but battered women frequently report that criminal justice system personnel appear to consider them “unworthy victims” who are clogging up the courts with unimportant family matters.”  Read more here.

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Victim blaming did not originate with the murder of Kassandra Perkins, nor will it end when another woman loses her life to domestic violence. There are many speculations concerning Kassandra’s death such as, “She stayed out too late after attending a concert.” Kassandra was a gold-digger.” “She was the catalyst in her own murder.” “She was leaving the relationship, and planned to get as much money as possible.” “She took their daughter to a relative’s home without his (Jovan’s) consent.” “Kassandra was lazy.” And so on and so on.

“Belcher telling Perkins, “You can’t talk to me like that!

The next sound was gunfire as Belcher repeatedly shot the mother of their daughter. He shot her “9 times.”

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It is all your fault

Let us assume the negative talk about Kassandra Perkins was true. So where is the justification for murder? There was no mention of a physical altercation where Jovan had no choice but to defend him-self. In fact, she was no physical threat to him at all. This was not a case of an excusable homicide, and Jovan would have served prison time, maybe not as much as he deserved, but he would have if he had not killed himself as well.

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If I had my way, this murder would be classified as premeditated, for Jovan stated in a text message that he would shoot Kassandra if she did not leave him alone.”

Correct me if I am wrong, but shooting someone “9 times” indicates that you want to make sure this person dies. Where was the love his friends said he had for her?  Did Jovan hate the sight of Kassandra so much so that he wanted her dead, and gone from his life, especially since he had a new woman that he desired to be with? Say what you will, but there is no way  this murder is the victim’s fault.

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Too many times the victims of domestic violence are not believed when they seek help, and they are blamed when relationships turn violent. A woman who threatens to leave abuse has every right to get away from the violence, especially if she has children. It is the insecurity and controlling behaviors of abusers that will not tolerate separation, not the woman’s choice to leave that is the excuse for murder.  It is a well-documented fact that women who try to leave, or have left abuse are in more danger of losing their lives.

YOU GOT OUT OF LIN

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Also, some of the news comments are very disheartening such as the following – (unedited):

Both parties are too blame, women are not always best, but we pretend we are. I am not blaming her, but I’m sure she played her part and he played his like a good soap opera.

OK, how can “both parties” share “blame” for her death? And this other statement: … “Women are not always best, but we pretend we are.” What is the world is that supposed to mean?”  – Victim blaming again.

Oh not that she lied about who the father was. I am sorry for the child, but maybe the child will be better off. A man can be driven to do stuff, and she drove him there.

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 First of all, commentators assumed a little too much. And how is the child “better off?” She is an orphan left with an awful legacy. When she grows up, she will have to deal with people saying awful things to her about what happened to her parents. Especially when she goes to school, and we know how cruel children can be at times – they learn from their parents. To say a man “can be driven to do stuff, and she drove him there,” is another victim blaming statement.

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WHY DO YOU MAKE ME HIT YOU

“She pushed my buttons!”

We hear this excuse all the time. Our children can sometimes make us very angry – do we murder them? Couples learn much about one another after spending quality time together. We learn the soft spots and the subjects that bring about anger, hurt, and tears – do we murder our spouses because they touch a nerve – accidentally, or on purpose? Training a new puppy is often frustrating, costly and time-consuming – do we kill the puppy? Do we take out a gun and shoot the old woman for driving too slow? In America, these situations happen every day – whether we hear about them or not – people killing just because they can.

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There has been a rash of murder-suicides in the news lately. And there are many people who are scratching their heads and wondering why this is happening. God already warned us these types of atrocities would come upon us:

“But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these. For among them are those who enter into households and captivate weak women weighed down with sins, led on by various impulses, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.”

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YOU ARE SO STUPID

 Today, life is all about “Me!” People in general lack self-discipline over their emotions. Abusers have no self-control, and act impulsively – then expect understanding for their ugly behaviors. Victim blaming is an easy scapegoat  for allowing violence to be the solution for domestic issues. If self-control were not possible, God would not command it to be exercised.

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New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“Like a city that is broken into and without walls Is a man who has no control over his spirit.”

He that hath no rule over his own spirit,…. His affections and passions, puts no restraint, unto them, as the word signifies; no guard against them, no fence about them, to curb his curiosity, to check his pride and vanity, to restrain his wrath and anger and revenge, and keep within due bounds his ambition and itch of vainglory; is like a city that broken down and without walls; into which they may go with pleasure, and which is exposed to the rapine and violence of everyone; and so a man that has no command of himself and passions, but gives the reins to them, is exposed to the enemy of souls, Satan and is liable to every sin, snare and temptation. Gill’s Exposition of the Entire Bible

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Proverbs 16:32 “Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.”

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THIS IS MY HOUSE

 Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary

16:27,28. Ungodly men bestow more pains to do mischief than would be needful to do good. The whisperer separates friends: what a hateful, but how common a character! 29,30. Some do all the mischief they can by force and violence, and are blind to the result. 31. Old people especially should be found in the way of religion and godliness. 32. To overcome our own passions, requires more steady management, than obtaining victory over an enemy. 33. All the disposal of Providence concerning our affairs, we must look upon to be the determining what we referred to God; and we must be reconciled to them accordingly. Blessed are those that give themselves up to the will of God; for he knows what is good for them.

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Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary

Sin, if it receives any check, becomes cowardly. 24. It is better to be alone, than to be joined to one who is a hinderance to the comfort of life.

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YOU MAKE ME SO ANGRY

James 1:19 “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,”

Proverbs 14:29  “A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly.”

Proverbs 19:11  “A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.”

Ecclesiastes 7:8  “The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.”

Psalm 12:8  “The wicked freely strut about when what is vile is honored among men.”

Proverbs 29:11  “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”

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Victim blaming will not stand in the Day of Judgment. All of the flimsy excuses for abuse and murder will be judged.

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 There is absolutely nothing that Kassandra Perkins was accused of that warranted her murder. NOTHING! She is a victim, Jovan Belcher is a murderer and solely to blame for both their deaths.

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YOU CANT TALK TO ME LIKE THAT

2 Peter 1:3  “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.”

Matthew 5:21 “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’

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New American Standard Bible (©1995)

AND IF IT IS WITH DIFFICULTY THAT THE RIGHTEOUS IS SAVED, WHAT WILL BECOME OF THE GODLESS MAN AND THE SINNER?

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS A SIN PROBLEM!

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Types of victim blaming

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Avoiding Victim Blaming

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Rethinking ‘Don’t Blame the Victim’:
The Psychology of Victimhood

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Blaming the Victim

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Delhi anger on streets after rape victim dies

In the wake of the attack, much of the country’s fury has been directed towards a police force seen as apathetic, corrupt and misogynist, and a political class that often seems uncaring. Senior police are regularly quoted in the Indian press as saying women who are raped are to blame for their attacks – for being out at night, for talking to men, or for wearing jeans.

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http://spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

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Posted by on December 26, 2012 in EXCUSES FOR VIOLENCE/ABUSE

 

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DO BATTERER COUNSELING PROGRAMS WORK?

Cover of

Cover of The Batterer: A Psychological Profile

By Terry Loving

“Critics say the problem with the programs is that they ignore research linking domestic violence to substance abuse and psychological problems, such as attachment disorders, traced to childhood abuse or neglect.”

“But the protocol stresses that substance abuse is not the cause of domestic violence. And it prohibits the programs from stressing therapy, including couples counseling, as treatment.

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I suspect many abused women would happily remain with the men that beat them if they could just get some help and change. Not every abused man or woman desires to end their marriage or relationship. There are a lot of “good” qualities that their abusers possess – according to the abused – thus, it is difficult to view their abusers as total jerks that take pleasure in hurting them.

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As well as our religious institutions, many mental health agencies are ill-equipped to deal with the onslaught of abusers within our society. Often times, a judge may order an abuser to attend domestic violence and abuse programs. But do they really rehabilitate violent tempers, and bring peace to homicidal-raging souls? Do the programs address inner pain, childhood abuse, substance abuse, spiritual issues, and financial problems – in other words – the full dynamics of what makes up a person’s complete character? Can these programs promise that a batterer will not repeat the violence that landed him in jail in the first place?

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I am not knocking the hard work that many professionals and religious folk utilize to change violent and abusive behaviors – I just want to know if their methods work. Are there any testimonials that other batterers can be encouraged by to know that change is possible for them as well? Does one size fit all? What will it take for change? Have any batterers gone back to being violent and abusive after attending a program?

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“The stakes are high: One large study found that the most important reason for a victim to take an abuser back was his decision to attend one of these intervention programs.” 1

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“Peter Diessel fidgeted as he sat at a table with other men who had physically abused women. It was his latest attempt to change behavior that stretches back 18 years. His problem, he told the group, had surfaced shortly after his honeymoon.”

“That’s when I started getting abusive,” Diessel said later, recalling the moment when he first violently laid hands on his wife.”

“Diessel, 42, a long-married suburban businessman, has sought a variety of professional help. He said substance-abuse treatment made him stop physically abusing his wife.

But their relationship hasn’t improved, even with couples counseling and his involvement in the Rolling Meadows program, which he signed up for at her urging.

“Changing the way you think, you perceive, you react, is very difficult,” he said.

His wife, Denise, said their relationship has gotten worse since Diessel entered the batterer intervention program. She doubts any treatment can improve their relationship.

“I’m starting to think there’s no hope,” she said.” 2

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The above quote brings out a very good point. Can a couple go back to “happily ever after” once the batterer completes a mandated/volunteer program? According to “Denise,” their relationship had gotten “worst” although her husband stopped hitting her. Could it be that much damage was done to the relationship? Love diminished? Could it be that the husband – once enlightened – was consumed with guilt for his actions? Could it be that the abused will always be on guard – and never able to freely be themselves in the relationship again due to fear?

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If couples counseling possibly places the abused at risk for more abuse, when does the abused get to tell their story? How will the batterer know how the abused really feels? If they get separate counseling, will the issues that plague their relationship get resolved? Both are in need of some type of counseling, but it is often dangerous for the abused to expose events of the violence and abuse beyond closed doors. How does the healing begin?

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“At the recent gathering in Rolling Meadows, the men ranged in age from the early 20s to middle-age. They sat around a table while the female facilitators prodded them to discuss conflict in their relationships. Some were eager to share; others stared at the ceiling or picked at their nails.”

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If Christians believe that the Word of God is life changing, and I for one believe it is – then why aren’t there more Christian churches involved with eliminating domestic violence and abuse from our society? Could it be that most religious bodies haven’t figured out how to combat this evil amongst them first? Concerning the religious institutions that are on the front lines, are they effective? If not, why not?

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Once a batterer enters a program, will he be honest concerning his feelings and his actions? Will he man-up and admit that he has a problem – or does he see the cause of his anger issues outside of himself? It is no secret that abusers will lie and makes excuses for their behavior. Not only will they lie to their partners, but to society – and even to themselves. Here are some of the lies they tell, and excuses for violence and abuse:

  • “I just need to be understood.”
  • “I had a bad childhood.”
  • “I can’t control it.”
  • “I get angry.”
  • “She fights too.”
  • “She pushes my buttons.”
  • “If I don’t control her, she will control me.”
  • “My smashing things isn’t abusive, it’s venting.”
  • “I have a lot of stress in my life.”
  • “I just have an anger management problem.”
  • “I just have a problem when I drink or use drugs.”3

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In conclusion, domestic violence is not a mental health issue. If mental health professionals were to conclude such findings, then they serve to justify every flimsy excuse for this atrocity. Domestic violence is a SIN issue, and the sooner our society recognizes this fact, the sooner we will be able to put together the necessary all-encompassing programs that will address the needs of those who are violent and abusive. Perhaps there will be more agencies working together with faith-based institutions.

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I don’t believe that addressing the abusive adult, and ignoring the childhood that shapes a person is beneficial. Also, one cannot force God and spiritual beliefs upon another, yet – how can we leave out the spiritual side of mankind when addressing social ills? We didn’t magically appear upon the earth and poof, here we are – we were created by an awesome Creator. How can we ignore the soul when it is a part of our created bodies?

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New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be preserved complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

New International Version (©1984)
The soul who sins is the one who will die. The son will not share the guilt of the father, nor will the father share the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous man will be credited to him, and the wickedness of the wicked will be charged against him.

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New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“The person who sins will die. The son will not bear the punishment for the father’s iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son’s iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself.

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Our souls are responsible for thought, actions, decisions, feelings, anger, sadness, happiness, ego and our characters. The Bible says the “soul who sins” is basically saying, the “person” who sins “will die.” So, unless batterer counseling and intervention programs include the spiritual side of mankind, they won’t be effective – at least in the long run. There will be some who will cease to batter; however, this is not the norm. Even if the battering stops, many soul issues with go unaddressed, and the possibility of the battering returning is quite possible.

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God fashioned us to be humans that have a physical body that houses our spirit (eternal side), and our souls that are groomed, taught, sinned against, trained, and possess all of our feelings and actions. How can we ignore such a vital part of rehabilitation? Domestic violence counseling will fail, not because the programs are no good, but because they lack all of the major components that address the whole of the abusers. The power to change begins with repentance – repenting to a Holy God, and acknowledging wrong. When we agree with God that we have sinned, only then can we open our arms to change – and the healing will commence. What we learn, we can un-learn. It may take time, but, with God – all things are possible.

REPENTANCE = ACCOUNTABILITY

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1 http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-abusers-02-jan02,0,1147422.story

2 http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-abusers-02-jan02,0,1147422.story?page=2

3 http://www.acadv.org/abusers.html

http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

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“Even in programs considered to be successful, only a small percentage of men who batter will ever stop abusing.”Lundy Bancroft

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NEW YORK MODEL FOR BATTERER PROGRAMS

“It’s NOT What You Think!”

“Men can change. However, batterer programs are not an effective vehicle.”

“…batterer programs don’t reliably work. At best, results are inconclusive. And those programs that purport to achieve some individual change indicate, by their own admission that “successes” are few and far between. What batterer programs do give, unfortunately, is a false sense of security that a man will be fixed simply because he is enrolled in a program.”

“Focusing on ‘fixing,’ ‘treating’ or ‘rehabilitating’ men who are abusive inevitably detracts energy and resources better placed on changing systems, social norms and community response efforts.”

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“Treatment’ or ‘rehabilitation’ suggests individual pathology.
The NY Model does not define domestic violence as an individual pathology but rather as a manifestation of sexism, deeply rooted in the history, law and culture of the United States. Furthermore, centuries of patriarchy have defined men’s relationship to women in terms of ownership and entitlement, making it men’s right and responsibility to control the woman who is “his,” and to use a wide array of strategies to do so.”

THE RAVE PROJECT ONLINE LEARNING

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IS HE REALLY GOING TO CHANGE THIS TIME?

Couples Counseling Won’t Stop His Violence

“Your partner may try to get you to go to couples counseling, telling you that you both have a problem and should work on it together. Couples counseling is never appropriate when one partner is choosing to use violence against the other. You do not have a “relationship” problem that needs to be addressed – he is using violence and coercion to get what he wants. Couples counseling can only work when both partners feel free to express their issues, concerns and desires freely. If one partner exerts power and control over the other, there is no basis for counseling that is free from fear and intimidation.”

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN THE COURT SYSTEM

AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT TO EXPECT

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EMERGE

Because Wanting to Stop is NOT Enough

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SEXISM

Another hurdle to overcome.

WHEN SHE HITS HIM FIRST

THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES NO MATTER WHO DOES THE HITTING.

Emotional Abuse: Why Anger Management Didn’t Work

Learning to Unclench Their Fists

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All rights reserved.

 
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Posted by on July 12, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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Why Do Some People Enjoy Hurting Others?

By Terry Loving

“I have found only this: God made people decent, but they looked for many ways [to avoid being decent]. Whatever evil may be now found among men and women, it is not of God; for God made them all upright.”

GOD’S WORD® Translation (©1995)

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“If I ain’t gonna have my kid neither will anyone else, the hell with them,” he said.

“He says that night he’d gone to see his son but he wasn’t home. Angry, seeing red, he said, “I wanted to destroy a human…cause pain make them feel that.” Why Zina, he was asked, “She was just there,” he said, “I can grab her and do what I want.”

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On July 4th, 2007, 42-year-old Terapon Adhahn did exactly what he “wanted to do.” He was angry that his son wasn’t at home when he visited, and he made good on his inner threat to “destroy a human.” That “human” was 12-year old Zina Linnik – her body was found three days later. The “Thai immigrant and convicted sex offender, was charged with aggravated first degree murder, first degree kidnapping and first degree rape in Linnik’s death.”

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“Adhahn says he accidentally killed her by pulling a zip-tie around her throat within minutes after she was taken. Zina’s family disputes that timeline, and blames sloppy and sleepy police work.”

This case also involves a delayed response in an Amber alert for Zina, which could possibly have saved her life. However, the main point of this post is the fact that Adhahn proves that anger can go too far. Not unlike abusers, Terapon needed to vent his selfish anger, and he didn’t care who would be the object of his wrath. Some people drink and drug away their frustrations; others cause physical, emotional, and psychological damage – by any means necessary.

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Anger is akin to boiling water in tea kettles. The heated water gradually gets hot – hotter – and eventually gives off steam and the whistle blows. More than likely Terapon felt good about the opportunity to see his son. But slowly became enraged when this didn’t happen. Little Zina had nothing to do with his anger, or the fact that he didn’t get to see his son. She was the recipient of the fury that boiled within his soul. Tearapon was like the devil, “seeking to devour.” Unfortunately, he came across an innocent child – and unleashed his rage. Selfishness is the key ingredient that caused Zina’s death. Terapon could not have his way, so he had a temper tantrum – a deadly fit of anger.

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So, do people really “enjoy” hurting others? I personally believe they “enjoy” the so-called power they feel as a result of dishing out pain and abuse. MentalHelp.net concurs:

Why Do People Abuse?

The first question, “Why do people abuse other people?” has multiple answers. Some abusers learned to abuse from their parents. Their early history consisted of receiving abuse themselves and/or seeing others abused (one parent abusing the other or their sibling, etc.). As a consequence, abuse is the normal condition of life for these people. Such people internalized a particular relationship dynamic, namely the complementary roles of “abuser” and “victim”. They are familiar with and fully understand the terror of being the helpless victim from their own childhood experience. The opposite of being a victim is not simply opting out of abuse; it is instead, to be abusive. Given the choice between being the out-of-control victim, or the in-control abuser, some of these people grow up to prefer the role of the abuser. As they become adults, they simply turn this relationship dynamic around and start acting out the “abuser” side of the relationship dynamic they have learned. By choosing to be the aggressor and abuser, they may get their first sense of taking control over their own destiny and not being at the mercy of others. That they hurt others in the process may go unregistered or only occur as a dim part of their awareness. 1

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Adhahn was “allegedly raped repeatedly by an older sibling,” and “physically abused” by his father. If it is true that the pain he caused didn’t register in his mind, and he only has a “dim part of awareness,” should there not be a way to bring his horrible deeds to the forefront of his mind – and show Adhahn and abusers, rapists, murderers just how much devastation they are causing in the lives of others? Do you think this is possible? Or will those who commit dastardly deeds continue to “enjoy” the power?

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Think about this, how many abusers you know beat their loved ones in front of others? How many men rape women on a crowded street? How many men proudly proclaim, “Yeah, I beat the hell out of her” when the cops knock on the door? Do you think Terapon Adhahn would have kidnapped Zina in front of her siblings when she had reached them? – Most likely not. How many women will physically or verbally abuse their husbands in front of witnesses? And most children are abused behind closed doors, by in-control abusers. Secrecy is very important to those who do evil. Abusers are able to “discern” between good and evil – they choose to abuse.

The final point I will make is this, abuse is deliberate, selfish, and a choice. Since you are the closest to your abuser when he or she angrily blows, you will be the recipient of the fall out. As with Zina, you don’t have to do or say anything to bring on the violence and mistreatment. Abusers search for ways to make themselves feel better. It would be nice if they would just kick a few trees, or run around the block a few times to bring down the level of their anger. But these simplistic endeavors do not cure selfishness.

Terapon wanted Zina to feel his pain. It didn’t matter that it was Zina, it could have been anyone. In his sick mind, he thought that by unleashing his fury onto her, the suffering and pain that he was feeling inside would be transferred to her, and he would be released from his demons once and for all – at least for that night. It doesn’t work that way.

Like women survivors, what may be most common among men who were abused as children is that they feel like they are unfit human beings:
“Filled with shame, they experience themselves as profoundly defective and horribly toxic. Often they have internalized the scourges hurled at them in childhood…Frequently told by abusers they provoked and wanted the sexual attacks, survivors see themselves as malevolently powerful.”  These men may engage in violent enactments or manipulate destructive sexual encounters, masochistically picking up with themselves where their perpetrators left off.” 3

Violence and abuse are often complicated evils. However, they still boil down to power and control. When the abused understand more of what causes people to hurt others, perhaps they will stop blaming themselves. When they understand that these “causes” of anger often released through violence and abuse are also EXCUSES to hurt others selfishly – they will stop blaming themselves. The hurt that we feel when we are sinned against, should be every reason not to hurt others. Why should we make others feel what we don’t want to feel? Selfishness – plain and simple – yet often complex.

The next time your abuser throws you across the room, remember the words of Terapon Adhahn:

I wanted to destroy a human…cause pain make them feel that.”

“She was just there.”

“I can grab her and do what I want.”

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Child killer: ‘I wanted to destroy a human’ (TNT)

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Displaced rage drove Zina’s killer

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1http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=8482&cn=2

2 http://bible.cc/ecclesiastes/7-29.htm

3http://www.yesican.org/articles/icanjj.html

EVIL IS – AS EVIL DOES

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WHERE DID IT ALL BEGIN?

THE FALL OF MAN

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THE FIRST MURDER

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“And it came about when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him.”

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Anger With Denial Yields Violence

“Violent transference may become misdirected at anyone, and at any scale, from a scapegoted spouse or co-worker to a famous public figure, through larger scale organizations such as corporations, and beyond to social ethnic or religious groups. At the largest scale, violent transference reactions may fuel political assassination, ‘hate’ based terrorism, terrorism against whole governments, and war itself.”

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Sadistic Personality Disorder

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Discover the characteristics of Sadistic Personality Disorder and the sadist. Plus the different types of sadists and why people become sadists.

“Sadists like to inflict pain because they find suffering, both corporeal and psychological, amusing. They torture animals and people because, to them, the sights and sounds of a creature writhing in agony are hilarious and pleasurable. Sadists go to great lengths to hurt others: they lie, deceive, commit crimes, and even make personal sacrifices merely so as to enjoy the cathartic moment of witnessing someone else’s misery.” (read more)

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IS THERE A SOCIOPATH IN YOUR LIFE?

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NARCISSISM 101

“Half the harm that is done in this world
Is due to people who want to feel important
They don’t mean to do harm ­
But the harm does not interest them.
Or they do not see it, or they justify it
Because they are absorbed in the endless struggle To think well of themselves.”

T. S. Eliot

http://www.narcissism101.com/

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Narcissus

In Ovid’s tale, Narcissus is the handsome and proud son of the river god Cephissus and the nymph Liriope. The nymph, Echo, falls in love with him but is rejected and withdraws into a lonely spot and fades away, leaving behind her voice. The goddess Nemesis hears her prayers for vengeance and makes Narcissus fall in love with his own reflection, which he cannot embrace. He sits by the pool, watching it until he dies and turns into the narcissus flower.

Narcissist characteristics

Narcissists interact socially with others, but do not form relational social bonds with others. In order to avoid being ‘owned’ by others, the narcissist reduces them to non-human objects.

http://changingminds.org/disciplines/psychoanalysis/concepts/narcissism.htm

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New American Standard Bible (©1995)
"Because lawlessness is increased, most people's love will grow cold.

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CHRISTIAN SUFFERING-IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE GOD’S WILL?

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“THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT!”

Culture and collective violence:

How good people, usually men, do bad things
“Little by little, we were taught all these things.
We grew into them.”
Adolf Eichmann

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12 Hours of Terror: Conn. Woman Held Hostage by Arsonist Ex

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The Danger Assessment

The Danger Assessment helps to determine the level of danger an abused woman has of being killed by her intimate partner. It is free and available to the public. Using the Danger Assessment requires the weighted scoring and interpretation that is provided after completing the training. The Danger Assessment is available in a variety of languages.

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www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009
All rights reserved.

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Posted by on June 3, 2011 in EXCUSES FOR VIOLENCE/ABUSE

 

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND THE DISABLED

By Terry Loving

One has to be lower than low to abuse anyone, especially someone who is disabled. Living with physical or other types of disabling bodily ailments is tough enough. Yet, many who suffer in their bodies must also endure violence and abuse from their mates, caregivers, and evil hearts that just don’t care. Unfortunately, no one is exempt, men, women, children – abuse does not discriminate.

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We hear much about domestic violence and abuse, but rarely do we acknowledge that disabled women suffer abuse much longer, and more frequently than non-disabled women. In fact, injuries that the disabled suffer tend to be more severe in nature.

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Disabled women are twice as likely to experience domestic violence than non-disabled women (1995 British Crime Survey, also confirmed by data from other countries). They are also likely to experience abuse over a longer period of time and to suffer more severe injuries as a result of the violence.” 1

Ok, I just stated this fact, but you needed to hear from the source for yourselves.

Many agencies that help battered women have not incorporated accessibility needs for battered disabled women. For most agencies, disability accommodations are new territory, and they weren’t prepared for the great need that they now face. No one could have predicted the epidemic of domestic violence that our society faces daily. Therefore, there is still much to be done to assist the many that flee from this atrocity. Even those who provide “disability-related services” are ill-prepared to “deal with issues of abuse.”

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Imagine a woman needing a wheelchair to get around, and her abuser denies her access to it. Or withholding much needed medications, or not assisting with dressing or bathing, eating, and things the disabled cannot do for themselves. The disabled are more vulnerable to abuse, for in most cases they totally depend on their abusers for survival. Physical limitations also make it much more difficult to leave the hell they must endure daily.

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One study noted – “Women with disabilities experienced all types of abuse (emotional, physical, or sexual) for significantly longer periods of time than women without disabilities.”  The risk factors for abuse are the same as they are for non-disabled women. Often times it is difficult for non-disabled women to escape the violence and abuse. Escape is much more problematic for the disabled. Many are on fixed incomes, and cannot work, or they have limited abilities such as mobility or other barriers.

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Most abusers socially isolate the abused, forbidding them to have friends or contact with family. They will purposely move the unsuspecting far away from support, family and friends to establish complete control. In the case of the disabled, their limitation to connect with others is often their disability. Deaf women feel lost in a hearing world, especially when there is no one to communicate with them via sign language – except their abusers.

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Children are also vulnerable to abuse from their siblings. Often, the non-disabled brothers and sisters resent having to include their disabled sibling in their everyday lives. If they are given the task of care giving while mother runs errands, they are often resentful and abuse the helpless child. I repeat, abuse does not discriminate – anyone can be abused by those we least expect it from.

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If you are disabled and abused, please know that there is hope for you. There are agencies that are now recognizing the issue of accessibility, and accommodations to help you move life forward. There is much room for advocacy in this area, and who knows – perhaps you are the one that God will use to bring this matter before the world. Don’t give up. Whatever information that I find that will help you, I will post it.

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By the way, I understand the trial of having a disability that affects every area of life. I am hearing impaired, and I know what it is like to be excluded by friends, family and society in general. I know the pain of being shunned, laughed at, made fun of, and treated badly due to a disability that I never expected would be a part of my life. I also have physical limitations due to an accident. But my God is ever so good to me. I praise Him through the pain and trials, and keep moving. I look forward to heaven someday, but in the meantime – I use the gifts He has bestowed upon me to help others.

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Many people think that life is all about them – their comfort, material possessions and having a good time. I have learned through many hardships that God uses them all to shape and mold us to conform to the likeness of His image. If only we tried to do that much, the world would be a better place. I have a heart for the things of God, and my love reaches out to all who are abused – especially the most vulnerable. In a way I can thank those who excluded me; it caused me to draw closer to my Heavenly Father. I don’t regret that at all. Don’t give up!

Peace

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1 http://www.bcm.edu/crowd/national_study/ABUSE.htm

DISABLED ABUSE RESOURCES

Disabled Women & Abuse

Domestic Violence & Disabled Women

www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

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Posted by on May 17, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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PRETTY WORDS – The Things Women Want To Hear

By Terry Loving

PRETTY WORDS

You say you think I’m beautiful
You say you live for my touch
Tell me the things I want to hear
Don’t you know you can never say too much

CHORUS:

You gotta keep tellin’ me things I want to hear
You gotta say pretty words every time you’re near
You gotta show me that you care
So I’ll know you’ll be there right through the years
Please tell me, please tell me things I want to hear
Pretty words, pretty words, pretty words

Tell me the words that touch my heart
Promise you want me to stay
Tell me that we will never part
Say I’m the one you’ll be loving more each day

(chorus)

Words I wanna hear (pretty words)
…& fade 1

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Ahh, those “pretty words.” As a woman, I love them too. What woman doesn’t want to hear words that uplift her soul – make her smile – assure her that she is desired and wanted? Romance novels and movies are filled with moments of enthralling compliments from the lips of man who desires woman. She drinks his words like a healing liquid that sustains her, moves her, revives her – and ultimately – traps her. Reality is no different.

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The seducers seduce. The beguilers beguile. Guards are weakened – often tossed carelessly aside – oh those pretty words – her will is no longer hers – she belongs to him – completely. Sound familiar? It should. Abusers gain entry into our lives not by violence and abuse, but by the things they say. If they started out day one exhibiting violence, we would run as fast and far as we could. There would be no second, third or fourth chances. The Cycle of Violence would not exist – for we would not stick around long enough to help (unknowingly) create it.

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You say you think I’m beautiful
You say you live for my touch
Tell me the things I want to hear
Don’t you know you can never say too much

Every woman desires to hear that she is “beautiful.” Although by society’s warped standards – she is not. Unfortunately, beauty in our society is measured by “good looks” – and a “hot” body to go with it. Many women will not see themselves in this category, therefore they will welcome any dialogue that lifts them up, and places them (in her mind), along-side the women that most men desire. On the other hand, a woman could be labeled a “hot babe,” and she will fall victim to the same enticing dialogue. If a woman is suffering from low self-worth, it makes the abuser’s crafty game of conquest much easier. Understand though, abuse does not discriminate.

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Sweet talking guys practice their spiel, and they know what works, and what doesn’t. Abusers do not meet a woman and fess up to being a violent, verbally abusive hot head. They start off most times – lying – stretching the truth – and putting on a show for their unsuspecting victims. I doubt there is an abuser alive that will walk up to a woman that he wants to date and say, “Hi, I beat women – is that OK with you?” NO! He will put his best sham forward, and hope that she doesn’t see the real messed up person he is before he seduces her mind – and often – her body.

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Tell me the things I want to hear
Don’t you know you can never say too much

Abusers know what women desire, or they can certainly find out. All they have to do is talk to women they work with – the females in their families – read magazines related to women – and listen intently to what we have to say on a date. Speaking of which, we often reveal much too much. Here’s an example – if you reveal to your future abuser that no one ever bought you flowers, he will bring or send you flowers – even if he has to steal them from a grave site. If he can afford it, he will send flowers to your job – especially on special days such as your birthday or Valentine’s Day – and we know what a boost to the ego that is. Every woman desires to be that “special” one.

Abusers will pick up on clues to manipulate your mind into believing that they really care about what pleases and concerns you. Of course, the flowers will stop when the violence and abuse begins – except perhaps during the “Honeymoon” stage of the violence. During this time, they will use whatever tactics that worked to gain your trust in the first place. After all, it worked then why should it not work now?

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Even while nursing a busted lip an abuser may say, “You are so beautiful.” He will play mind games even when you are battered and bruised. The more your self-worth plummets, the more you desire to hear those pretty words, even if he doesn’t mean you any good. Pretty words are “pretty,” but many times they turn into venomous verbal tirades. If something sounds too good to be true – trust your instinct – most times it is a trap.

We must learn to think with our heads, and not with our hearts.

(NOTE: Not all men who compliment and say nice things to you are abusers)

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“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.” (1 John 4:1)

(Even though this scripture refers to “false prophets,” it is wise to heed, and “test the spirits” just the same).

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“Signs YOU need to know about abusive, controlling men”

1 http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/t/the_shirelles/the_things_i_want_to_hear.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DaRNua-ads4

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http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

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NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE REGISTRY

ABUSERS DATABASE

“It’s time for all to date responsibly, know who you are dating and what secrets lie in their past. We help you foster greater awareness of your dating choices! This Knowledge will Save Your Life!!!”

http://www.domesticviolencedatabase.org/default-db.asp

DATE RESPONSIBLY

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I Said I Was Sorry

by Mark Gungor on October 5th, 2009

“I hear tales all the time of men who have done hurtful things—huge things like having an affair or smaller things like saying something very mean and spiteful—and then they say, “I’m sorry” and expect it all to go away. When it doesn’t these guys get upset and throw it back on their wives because his wife “can’t get over it”. It just doesn’t work that way for women. Men need to learn that pushing her to “move on” isn’t the answer. The answer is for you to own the problem that you created.”

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http://spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009
All rights reserved.


 
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Posted by on March 15, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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