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Violence And Abuse – “You Asked For It?”

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By Terry Loving

I was reading a post written by a woman who was verbally abused, cheated on, and totally beat down by her non-Christian husband. Being a Christian herself, she felt that her disobedience to God – “Do not be unequally yoked…” – brought on the abuse – her punishment for marrying a worldly man. The part of her admission that really caught my attention was, “I asked for what I got.” I don’t agree – totally – with this poor soul, for it sounds like God is punishing her with adultery, violence and abuse. That is not the God that I have learned to love, and the Father that I serve.

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Many people including myself have stated, “If I knew what I know now….” – they would have made more suitable choices in life. It would be wonderful if we could avoid catastrophes’ in life by glancing into the future, but God didn’t fashion us that way. By the way fortune tellers, stop lying to the people. You are robbing them blind, and babbling lies. Now, back to my point; we may have overt or subtle clues warning of possible danger, but physical and emotional neediness causes us to ignore the red flags, especially in relationships.

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I do believe that God will allow us to make our mistakes, especially when we don’t heed His Word, and His warnings. As I research articles and the comment sections, countless people don’t believe in God anyway.  And those who do often find it hard to resist temptation in a world that reeks of evil, and shouts, “You are nothing” if you don’t have a mate, a new car, this brand, that brand, designer clothing, live in a certain area, or have enough money to show off your life-style. No one wants to feel like a “nobody,” so society dictates what it will take to make you feel like a “somebody.” We tend to overlook the obvious negatives when choosing mates in order to feel whole.

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When we place our human needs and desires above God’s wisdom, we often find ourselves in dire predicaments. No one “asks” to be abused or violated in any way. We trade in wisdom for emotionalism, and buy into the idea of “happily ever after.” Our free will is often misconstrued as power to change others. Women especially think they can love away the flaws of damaged men. Been there done that – what a fallacy.

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“Unequally yoked?” – we can be in many ways, especially spiritually.  1Corinthians 6:14 says there is no fellowship between “believers” and “unbelievers;” “light with darkness;” “righteousness” and “wickedness” have nothing in common. “How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness?”  “How can light live with darkness?” (New Living Translation)

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This can also be said of those with “unregenerate” hearts – “1. Not spiritually renewed or reformed; not repentant; Sinful; dissolute. Not reconciled to change; unreconstructed – stubborn; obstinate.”1 In this case, unregenerate hearts applies to abusers in church houses that refuse to acknowledge their violent and abusive ways, and repent. Their sins are “stored up and kept on record” for the Day of Judgment (Hosea 13:12; Romans 2:5)

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In conclusion, no one “asks” for a punch in the mouth; broken bones; verbal abuse; or any kind of mistreatment. I am sure abused individuals would run the other way if they had witnessed their abusers doing to others what is now being done to them. If only they could step outside of their bodies to see that abuse is injustice no matter who it happens to. God is not looking down from heaven saying, “See, that’s what you get!” No, He gives us wisdom through His Word to avoid certain people, and dangerous situations – Divine Providence. It grieves His heart when we don’t listen to His direction. Some people view His guidance as “spiritual slavery.” Of course that is what Satan wants you to think so that you will turn away from salvation. God’s laws are for our protection because He loves us, and knows what is down those dark roads that we are tempted to travel.

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Obeying God’s Word offers peace for our lives, and true freedom. It is man that has turned worship of Jehovah inside out, calling evil good and good evil. Satan has been a liar and a deceiver from the beginning, “Did God really say…?” 2 Staying in violent and abusive situations is not God’s Will for our lives. NO, NO! God called Abraham a “friend,” and Jesus had so much compassion for the people that He “wept.” (James 2:23; 2 Chronicles 20:7; John 11:35)

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You didn’t ask for violence and abuse my sister/brother. It is up to you to seek God for strength and courage to change your own lives. Beat down people are in no position to build up the Kingdom of God. What is more important? Yes, the Bible warns us that “Indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,” (2 Timothy 3:12). But this is what is expected from the “world.” Not within our Christian homes.

“Confidence in an unfaithful man is painful and vexatious; when we put any stress on him, he not only fails, but makes us feel for it.”

“It is better to be alone, than to be joined to one who is a hinderance to the comfort of life. Heaven is a country afar off;”

“When the righteous are led into sin, it is as hurtful as if the public fountains were poisoned.”

“The man who has no command over his anger, is easily robbed of peace.”3

“It is better to live in a corner of the roof Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.”  (Proverbs 25:24)

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1 http://www.thefreedictionary.com/unregenerate

2 Genesis 3:1

3 http://bible.cc/proverbs/25-24.htm

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http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

NOTE: Be careful of “tips” in books and on the internet concerning how to deal with verbal abuse.

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© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009
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Posted by on October 18, 2010 in Home

 

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