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DO ABUSERS HAVE A CONSCIENCE?

By Terry Loving

The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. Timothy 1:5

A CRY FOR JUSTICE BOOK

“And herein do I exercise myself – And this very tenet is a pledge for my good behavior; for as I believe there will be a resurrection, both of the just and unjust, and that every man shall be judged for the deeds done in the body, so I exercise myself day and night, that I may have a conscience void of offense toward God and toward men.

Toward God – In entertaining no opinion contrary to his truth; and in offering no worship contrary to his dignity, purity, and excellence.

Toward men – In doing nothing to them that I would not, on a change of circumstances, they should do to me; and in withholding nothing by which I might comfort and serve them.” 1

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“Abusive people have dysfunctional or even non-functioning consciences. In contrast, their victims have very active consciences. And the abuser uses this to his advantage. He can, without any hesitation or remorse, insinuate a horrid charge against her, making her feel the pangs of her own conscience, and causing her to wonder if she really is guilty.” 2

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Most have heard the saying, “Let your conscience be your guide.” When making decisions in life, “normal” thinking people rely on their inner voice to decide what actions they should take. Depending upon the level of maturity, a person with high morals, integrity, ethics and the like will usually make decisions they can live with. In other words, the choices they make in life would be those that do not keep them awake at night torturing their minds with guilt. After making their final decision they are able to live with themselves knowing they made the right choice – no harm done.

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1 John 3:21
“Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God.”

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The abuser’s decision-making process is much different. Their decisions are not based upon what is right, just, fair, moral, ethical, nor do they consider the feelings of others. Life is all about the abuser and their comfort and well-being. It is within the avenues of power and control as well as entitlement that the abuser establishes a domain of terror. He feels justified.

depression1

The word conscience is defined as:

[kon-shuhns] Show IPA

noun

1. the inner sense of what is right or wrong in one’s conduct or motives, impelling one toward right action: to follow the dictates of conscience.

2. the complex of ethical and moral principles that controls or inhibits the actions or thoughts of an individual.

3. an inhibiting sense of what is prudent: I’d eat another piece of pie but my conscience would bother me. 3

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Pastor Jeff Crippen beautifully explains in his book – A CRY FOR JUSTICE how we assume that abusers must be “weighed down” by their horrid actions toward others. Normally, non-abusive souls would agonize over wrongs committed towards others, and seek to make amends. Because we would feel bad inside, we naturally think that others would feel the same – not so with abusers. In fact, Jeff explains how abusers use our assumptions against us as they play the “victim.” The abuser’s deeds do not weigh heavy upon them, for they are functioning in what they perceive as a normal way of life. They are oblivious to the real pain they cause others because they do not care – life is all about the abuser – no one else – not even God.

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abused woman

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In the absence of a “healthy” conscience, abusers can beat the daylights out of their victims, and minutes later take the family out for an ice cream cone. His family, especially his spouse is his personal property to do with them as he sees fit. The beatings or verbal put downs in his mind are his God-given right to keep his family in line. After all, God made him the head, and all beneath him must submit or face dire consequences. Is there any remorse for the abuse? Never! Entitlement and false justification do not produce such emotions.

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Abusers lack empathy which is why they can bloody your face and throw you a towel in disgust – “Clean yourself up, you are a mess!” Your bloody wounds are only an issue when you no longer look “pretty.” After all, he is the only man that is allowed to look at you. They will never admit fault for your pain, because you – according to them – “Brought it on yourself!” Abusers are very capable of fake empathy, especially when the abused threatens to leave them. The false tears only serve to melt the heart of the abused, and the cycle of torture will repeat itself. This is how the crazy making stage begins.

obey fist

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Abusers who claim to be Christians pretend holiness, and yet – they have no conscience – not in the sense of what we define as “normal.” 1Timothy 4:2 speaks of “hypocrites” and “liars” that have a conscience that has been “seared with a hot iron.” Verses 1-5 gives us a clear picture of the spiritual apostasy that shall take place in these “latter days” – the Christian age. According to various views of Bible commentaries, a conscience “seared with a hot iron” can also be applied to the conscience of abusers, especially those who call themselves Christians.

woman hit man with shoe

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Can we not safely say that abusers in our places of worship have “departed from the faith?” The foundation of the “faith” that Jesus ministered is based on love. It is not possible that abusers are following Christ, but their own hypocritical self-imposed doctrine of hate. They are incapable of the agape love that we should have for one another. Agape love possesses compassion for the plight of others as well as; empathy; true love; it is selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love that abusers do not possess.

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“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” John 3:16

“He that loves not knows not God; for God is love.” 1 John 4:8

“A new commandment I give to you, That you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.”  John 13:34-35

“Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.”  1 Corinthians 13:1-13

The consciences of abusers are senseless and unfeeling as flesh that has been cauterized. “The sensitiveness of their consciences is destroyed by the brand of the devil.”  People’s New Testament

domestic-abuse

“The metaphor is from the practice of branding slaves or criminals, the latter on the brow. These deceivers are not acting under delusion, but deliberately, and against their conscience. They wear the form of godliness, and contradict their profession by their crooked conduct (2 Timothy 3:5). The brand is not on their brow, but on their conscience. Comp.” Titus 1:15; Titus 3:11Vincent’s Word Studies

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“To the pure, all things are pure; but to those who are defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure, but both their mind and their conscience are defiled.” (Titus 1:15)

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Jeff also notes a “degree of abuse” that ranges from “remarkably selfish” to “narcissistic,” “sociopaths” to “psychopaths.” When abusers reach the sociopath or psychopath levels, many people view the abusers as having no conscience at all. However, Pastor Crippen maintains that abusers do have a conscience, but they are “dysfunctional.” They possess not the normal means of inner conviction which keeps our passions for wrong in check.

When the searing of the conscience takes place, no one can say for sure. What we can know is the fact that abusers “speak lies in hypocrisy,” they are senseless, and unfeeling:

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 “Such a conscience exists in a mind that will practice delusion without concern; that will carry on a vast system of fraud without wincing; that will incarcerate, scourge, or burn the innocent without compassion; and that will practice gross enormities, and indulge in sensual gratifications under the mask of piety.”  Barnes’ Notes on the Bible

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the_sociopath_next_door_martha_stout_unabridged_mp3_compact_disc

The Sociopath Next Door

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I highly recommend A CRY FOR JUSTICE for many reasons. It opened my eyes to a darker side of abusers, and their cunning ways. This book took my understanding of abuse much deeper, and I could feel the essence of evil more acutely as I read each page. It is a must read for those who desire to counsel the abused, and for church leaders who need to educate themselves concerning this atrocity that is hidden within our houses of worship. In addition, I also recommend this book for self-study as well as group Bible study.

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The main reason I applaud this work is the fact that Pastor Crippen isn’t afraid to “call a spade a spade.” He says what needs to be said, and isn’t concerned as many other pastors are about stepping on toes. There is no arrogance in his preaching  and teaching against domestic abuse, for he understands that the Christian church is under spiritual attack, and the people of God have been silent and ignorant for too long. The last place on earth we should witness abuse is in our houses of worship, and our Christian homes.

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It is important to understand the many faces of abusers and how they deceive us. Jeff also covers topics such as, “Why the Church Covers Up Abuse,” “Dealing With Abusers,” “The Abuser’s Use of Shame and Fear” and much more. He also covers “The Devastating Effects of Abuse on Children.” Personally, I am one who is suffering, and will most likely continue to suffer those “devastating effects.” They are very real!

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Pastor Crippen and Anna Wood – THANK YOU!

http://cryingoutforjustice.wordpress.com/

A Cry for Justice: How the Evil of Domestic Abuse Hides in Your Church

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Conscience (36 Occurrences)

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http://www.sociopathworld.com/

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Profile of the Sociopath

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Charmer/ Abusers and their ‘Prey’

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   An Interview with Martha Stout

How do you spot a sociopath?

“A sociopath has no conscience, no ability to feel shame, guilt or remorse. Since 1 in 25 ordinary Americans is a sociopath, you almost certainly know one or more than one already. How can you recognize him or her?”

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Potentially Abusive Personalities: Some Red Flags – by Dr. George Simon, Jr.

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 1 Clarke’s Commentary on the Bible

2 A CRY FOR JUSTICE – The Abuser’s Use of Shame and Fear – 89

 3 Chicago Manual Style (CMS):conscience. Dictionary.com. Dictionary.com Unabridged. Random House, Inc. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/conscience (accessed: April 14, 2013).

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http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009-2013
All rights reserved.

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Posted by on April 14, 2013 in Sociopaths And Psycopaths

 

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SPIRITUAL – BUT NOT RELIGIOUS

By Terry Loving

What does it mean when one claims to be “spiritual – but not religious?”

I get thousands of hits on my web site, http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org, most likely from people searching for “spiritual” – not necessarily “religious” solutions to domestic violence and abuse. The problem with searching for “spirituality” alone, is the danger of embracing beliefs that border on the occult, mysticism, nature worship and the like. Of these things, God condemns – and warns of the penalties for participation in the forbidden.

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It is possible as well that many are not searching for “salvation” as it would seem – but a way to live life on earth in a harmonious manner, while embracing inner peace. People are searching for a relationship with a “Higher Power,” but not necessarily the “God” that Christendom serves. Numerous self-help programs offer the opportunity to acknowledge a “Higher Power” of your choosing, without confessing the one and only True God of Heaven – but as you have come to know Him.

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Given the climate of American churches today, it is understandable that there is a mass exodus from “mainstream religion.” In many cases, people should depart from religious bodies that promote false doctrine, spousal abuse, homosexuality and whatever is contrary to “sound doctrine.” However, too many people depart from God Himself; based on the actions of the “hypocrites” they perceive to be false worshippers of the Almighty, therefore, as the saying goes, they “Throw the baby out with the bath water.” Out go religion, God, Jesus, and anything that appears to be connected with those “crazy” people called “Christians.”

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The Bible speaks of those who are “spiritual” as well as those who are “religious” – or identifying with a “religion.” In our society, many reject the idea of “religion,” especially since it relates to “organized” religion, church attendance, and identifying with a particular group in order to fulfill their “spiritual” needs.

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Of this mindset, there are numerous people who have been hurt by a particular house of worship in some way – emotional or sexual abuse – and they disconnect. On the other hand, we have the spectators. They hear of a church controversy, or read about it in the news and often say, “You see – that’s why I don’t go to church!” No, that is not the reason – you had no interest in the first place, and you were looking for an excuse to fortify your rebellion against God. So there!

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Pulpit Pimps – false preachers of the Gospel are making it very difficult for people to find God. Their desire for greed and power outweighs the salvation of lost souls, and many people can see through the sham, except those that continue to throw money at their feet. This is a classic case of the “blind leading the blind,” and we know a “ditch” awaits them.

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Yet still, is it possible to be a “spiritual” person apart from the Spirit? Is the “Higher Power” as one “comes to know Him” the same as knowing the Creator of life and the world itself? Do the “spiritual – but not religious” have a Savior? A Redeemer – One to seek in times of trouble? Do they have “faith” – if so, in what? Is it dangerous to seek spirituality on your own, making it up as you go along? Are the “spiritual – but not religious” folk just revising the “Burger King” religion – “Have it your way?” Or, are they truly seeking a connection with God, but rejecting mainstream religion?

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“A group of social scientists studied 346 people representing a wide range of religious backgrounds in an attempt to clarify what is implied when individuals describe themselves as “spiritual, but not religious.” Religiousness, they found, was associated with higher levels of interest in church attendance and commitment to orthodox beliefs. Spirituality, in contrast, was associated with higher levels of interest in mysticism, experimentation with unorthodox beliefs and practices, and negative feelings toward both clergy and churches.” 1

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While I am working towards my own conclusions on the matter – which will be posted at a later date – I would be grateful for any feedback presently. Please weigh in, and let me hear from anyone with an opinion concerning, “spiritual – but not religious.”

Thank you!

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1 http://www.iloveulove.com/spirituality/spiritualnotreligious.htm

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“Are there dangers in being ‘spiritual but not religious’?”

http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009
All rights reserved.

 
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Posted by on January 3, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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CLUB NEW BIRTH – MOCKING A HOLY GOD

By Terry Loving

“How they said to you, In the last days there will be men who, guided by their evil desires, will make sport of holy things.

(Jude 1:18-BIBE)

“But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.”

(2 Timothy 3:1)

“For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.”

(2 Timothy 4:3)

“They said to you, “In the last times there will be scoffers who will follow their own ungodly desires.”

(Jude 1:18)

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“BISHOP EDDIE LONG Cranks up new dance”

(Click on link to link to view video)

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“I know that after I leave, savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock.” (Acts 20:29)

“1:17-23 Sensual men separate from Christ, and his church, and join themselves to the devil, the world, and the flesh, by ungodly and sinful practices. That is infinitely worse than to separate from any branch of the visible church on account of opinions, or modes and circumstances of outward government or worship.

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Sensual men have not the spirit of holiness, which whoever has not, does not belong to Christ. The grace of faith is most holy, as it works by love, purifies the heart, and overcomes the world, by which it is distinguished from a false and dead faith. Our prayers are most likely to prevail, when we pray in the Holy Ghost, under his guidance and influence, according to the rule of his word, with faith, fervency, and earnestness; this is praying in the Holy Ghost.

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And a believing expectation of eternal life will arm us against the snares of sin: lively faith in this blessed hope will help us to mortify our lusts. We must watch over one another; faithfully, yet prudently reprove each other, and set a good example to all about us. This must be done with compassion, making a difference between the weak and the wilful. Some we must treat with tenderness. Others save with fear; urging the terrors of the Lord.

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All endeavours must be joined with decided abhorrence of crimes, and care be taken to avoid whatever led to, or was connected with fellowship with them, in works of darkness, keeping far from what is, or appears to be evil.”1


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New Birth Is Not Alone – click on links below to view videos

IS THIS CHURCH OR THE CLUB?

Pentecostals RUNNING WILLLLLLLD

AND WHAT PRAY TELL IS THIS?

Crazy Guy Dancing in Church

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“‘BUT IN VAIN DO THEY WORSHIP ME, TEACHING AS DOCTRINES THE PRECEPTS OF MEN.'”

(Matthew 15:9)

https://ssofdv.wordpress.com/2010/09/23/can-we-really-blame-false-prophets/

1 http://bible.cc/jude/1-18.htm

http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009
All rights reserved.



 
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Posted by on December 23, 2010 in Uncategorized

 

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HYPOCRISY IN THE CHURCH MUST END!

I found this article truthful, and worth sharing. It fits right in with the Eddie Long saga, and speaks volumes concerning the hypocrisy that is turning many lost souls away from God. What a shame.

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Do Good Quietly
by Max Lucado

“They love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men” (Matt. 6:5).

This is the working definition of hypocrisy: “to be seen by men.” The Greek word for hypocrite, hypokrites, originally meant “actor.” First-century actors wore masks. A hypocrite, then, is one who puts on a mask, a false face.

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Jesus did not say, “Do not do good works.” Nor did he instruct, “Do not let your works be seen.” We must do good works, and some works, such as benevolence or teaching, must be seen in order to have an impact. So let’s be clear. To do a good thing is a good thing. To do good to be seen is not. In fact, to do good to be seen is a serious offense. Here’s why.

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Hypocrisy turns people away from God. When God-hungry souls walk into a congregation of wannabe superstars, what happens? When God seekers see singers strut like Las Vegas entertainers . . . When they hear the preacher—a man of slick words, dress, and hair—play to the crowd and exclude God . . . When other attendees dress to be seen and make much to-do over their gifts and offerings . . . When people enter a church to see God yet can’t see God because of the church, don’t think for a second that God doesn’t react. “Be especially careful when you are trying to be good so that you don’t make a performance out of it. It might be good theater, but the God who made you won’t be applauding” (Matt. 6:1 MSG).

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Hypocrisy turns people against God. So God has a no-tolerance policy. Let the cold, lifeless bodies of the embezzling couple issue their intended warning. Let’s take hypocrisy as seriously as God does. How can we?

1. Expect no credit for good deeds. None. If no one notices, you aren’t disappointed. If someone does, you give the credit to God. Ask yourself this question: If no one knew of the good I do, would I still do it? If not, you’re doing it to be seen by people.

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2. Give financial gifts in secret. Money stirs the phony within us. We like to be seen earning it. And we like to be seen giving it. So “when you give to someone in need, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing” (Matt. 6:3 NLT).

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3. Don’t fake spirituality. When you go to church, don’t select a seat just to be seen or sing just to be heard. If you raise your hands in worship, raise holy ones, not showy ones. When you talk, don’t doctor your vocabulary with trendy religious terms. Nothing nauseates more than a fake “Praise the Lord” or a shallow “Hallelujah” or an insincere “Glory be to God.”

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Bottom line: don’t make a theater production out of your faith. “Watch me! Watch me!” is a call used on the playground, not in God’s kingdom. Silence the trumpets. Cancel the parade. Enough with the name-dropping. If accolades come, politely deflect them before you believe them. Slay the desire to be noticed. Stir the desire to serve God.

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Heed the counsel of Christ: “First wash the inside of the cup and the dish, and then the outside will become clean, too” (Matt. 23:26 NLT). Focus on the inside, and the outside will take care of itself. Lay your motives before God daily, hourly. “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life” (Ps. 139:23-24 NLT).

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Do good things. Just don’t do them to be noticed. You can be too good for your own good, you know.

But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. (Matthew 6:3-4 NIV)

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Lord, you make it plain in your Word that you hate hypocrisy, especially because it turns others away from you. So, Father, I pray that you would blunt my natural inclination to seek personal recognition for whatever good things you allow me to do. I don’t want to be a phony, but neither do I want to be a glory hound. Fill me with your Spirit, and teach me to follow his example in gladly giving all glory to your Son. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.

From Outlive Your Life: You Were Made to Make a Difference
Copyright (Thomas Nelson, 2010) Max Lucado

http://www.maxlucado.net/_product_107242/Outlive_Your_Life_%28Hardback%29

NOTE: This is not an advertisement for his book. Just thought what he had to say was profound.

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TODAY’S ‘CHRISTIANITY’ – NOTHING MORE THAN FEELINGS
PART 2

http://www.newswithviews.com/PaulProctor/proctor221.htm

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“God is going to bring judgment to the house of the Lord; Scripture clearly pronounces that (read I Peter 4:17). When apostate churches lose their buildings, programs, and financial backing, what will they have left? They abandoned the Word of God long ago—they will have nothing! When it all comes down it will not be a pretty picture.”

“In actuality, huge numbers of people going to church have never even heard the Gospel! Yet, they sit week after week with a false sense of security that all is well.”

http://www.lighthousetrailsresearch.com/blog/?cat=181

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http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009
All rights reserved.


 
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Posted by on December 12, 2010 in Home

 

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Violence And Abuse – “You Asked For It?”

Jesus-wept-large

Image via Wikipedia

By Terry Loving

I was reading a post written by a woman who was verbally abused, cheated on, and totally beat down by her non-Christian husband. Being a Christian herself, she felt that her disobedience to God – “Do not be unequally yoked…” – brought on the abuse – her punishment for marrying a worldly man. The part of her admission that really caught my attention was, “I asked for what I got.” I don’t agree – totally – with this poor soul, for it sounds like God is punishing her with adultery, violence and abuse. That is not the God that I have learned to love, and the Father that I serve.

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Many people including myself have stated, “If I knew what I know now….” – they would have made more suitable choices in life. It would be wonderful if we could avoid catastrophes’ in life by glancing into the future, but God didn’t fashion us that way. By the way fortune tellers, stop lying to the people. You are robbing them blind, and babbling lies. Now, back to my point; we may have overt or subtle clues warning of possible danger, but physical and emotional neediness causes us to ignore the red flags, especially in relationships.

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I do believe that God will allow us to make our mistakes, especially when we don’t heed His Word, and His warnings. As I research articles and the comment sections, countless people don’t believe in God anyway.  And those who do often find it hard to resist temptation in a world that reeks of evil, and shouts, “You are nothing” if you don’t have a mate, a new car, this brand, that brand, designer clothing, live in a certain area, or have enough money to show off your life-style. No one wants to feel like a “nobody,” so society dictates what it will take to make you feel like a “somebody.” We tend to overlook the obvious negatives when choosing mates in order to feel whole.

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When we place our human needs and desires above God’s wisdom, we often find ourselves in dire predicaments. No one “asks” to be abused or violated in any way. We trade in wisdom for emotionalism, and buy into the idea of “happily ever after.” Our free will is often misconstrued as power to change others. Women especially think they can love away the flaws of damaged men. Been there done that – what a fallacy.

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“Unequally yoked?” – we can be in many ways, especially spiritually.  1Corinthians 6:14 says there is no fellowship between “believers” and “unbelievers;” “light with darkness;” “righteousness” and “wickedness” have nothing in common. “How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness?”  “How can light live with darkness?” (New Living Translation)

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This can also be said of those with “unregenerate” hearts – “1. Not spiritually renewed or reformed; not repentant; Sinful; dissolute. Not reconciled to change; unreconstructed – stubborn; obstinate.”1 In this case, unregenerate hearts applies to abusers in church houses that refuse to acknowledge their violent and abusive ways, and repent. Their sins are “stored up and kept on record” for the Day of Judgment (Hosea 13:12; Romans 2:5)

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In conclusion, no one “asks” for a punch in the mouth; broken bones; verbal abuse; or any kind of mistreatment. I am sure abused individuals would run the other way if they had witnessed their abusers doing to others what is now being done to them. If only they could step outside of their bodies to see that abuse is injustice no matter who it happens to. God is not looking down from heaven saying, “See, that’s what you get!” No, He gives us wisdom through His Word to avoid certain people, and dangerous situations – Divine Providence. It grieves His heart when we don’t listen to His direction. Some people view His guidance as “spiritual slavery.” Of course that is what Satan wants you to think so that you will turn away from salvation. God’s laws are for our protection because He loves us, and knows what is down those dark roads that we are tempted to travel.

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Obeying God’s Word offers peace for our lives, and true freedom. It is man that has turned worship of Jehovah inside out, calling evil good and good evil. Satan has been a liar and a deceiver from the beginning, “Did God really say…?” 2 Staying in violent and abusive situations is not God’s Will for our lives. NO, NO! God called Abraham a “friend,” and Jesus had so much compassion for the people that He “wept.” (James 2:23; 2 Chronicles 20:7; John 11:35)

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You didn’t ask for violence and abuse my sister/brother. It is up to you to seek God for strength and courage to change your own lives. Beat down people are in no position to build up the Kingdom of God. What is more important? Yes, the Bible warns us that “Indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,” (2 Timothy 3:12). But this is what is expected from the “world.” Not within our Christian homes.

“Confidence in an unfaithful man is painful and vexatious; when we put any stress on him, he not only fails, but makes us feel for it.”

“It is better to be alone, than to be joined to one who is a hinderance to the comfort of life. Heaven is a country afar off;”

“When the righteous are led into sin, it is as hurtful as if the public fountains were poisoned.”

“The man who has no command over his anger, is easily robbed of peace.”3

“It is better to live in a corner of the roof Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.”  (Proverbs 25:24)

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1 http://www.thefreedictionary.com/unregenerate

2 Genesis 3:1

3 http://bible.cc/proverbs/25-24.htm

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http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

NOTE: Be careful of “tips” in books and on the internet concerning how to deal with verbal abuse.

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009
All rights reserved.

 
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Posted by on October 18, 2010 in Home

 

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VERBAL ABUSE IS MEANT TO WOUND!

The Crown of Thorns by Matthias Stom.

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By Terry Loving

I am writing a booklet to give away concerning Verbal Abuse. It is entitled, “Verbal Abuse Is Meant To Wound!”

As I was writing today, the thought came to me to share a small portion of the booklet with you ahead of time. Please feel free to comment, and most of all, please think about the questions that are asked at the end.

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Jesus gave His back to those who would strike Him; His cheeks to those who plucked out His beard, and He did not cover His face from humiliation and spitting, (Isaiah 50:6). In all, He took up our infirmities (Matthew 8:7); He carried our sorrows; was pierced for our transgressions; Punishment that brought us peace was upon Him; By His wounds, we are healed, (Isaiah 53:4-5). “He personally carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right…” (1 Peter 2:24)

Countless Christian’s believe that violence and abuse in their homes is identifying with the sufferings of Christ. Abused women – and men – have been brainwashed to accept abuse as their duty as followers of Jesus. Please note that Jesus suffered unto death not for any sins of His own, but for our sins, past, present and future.

Now think about this for a moment – Jesus suffered, bled, and died for sinful mankind – who are you suffering, bleeding and dying for? With each slap, punch, driven nail, Jesus was fulfilling prophecy – the Redeemer of our souls. (Isaiah 59:20)

Whose soul will be redeemed by your death when your abuser kills you? Was it prophesied that YOU should die for the sins of the world? Is your blood a “redeeming blood?” Will enduring verbal abuse bring your soul closer to heaven? Or shall depression, pain, shame and the like be your reward?”

Please be patient, the rest is coming very soon.

May you keep your hand in God’s Hand – and never let go!

God is NOT the author of your confusion.

1 Corinthians 14:33

http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org/

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Posted by on October 12, 2010 in Home

 

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Bishop Eddie Long: “Gays Deserve Death!”

By Terry Loving

Wow! What a statement coming from a man who claims to preach and teach about the love of God. If “Gays deserve death,”1 then where does the rest of humanity stand? Romans 3:10 says, “…as it is written, “THERE IS NONE RIGHTEOUS, NOT EVEN ONE;” That sounds like the whole world has some fessing up to do.

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I don’t agree with the gay lifestyle, nor do I condemn anyone who chooses to live that way. Condemnation belongs to God and to Him only. It is the work of Christianity to point mankind to the Cross – in love. If anyone chooses to reject the teachings of the Bible, that is between them and their Maker. That goes for any conduct that is contrary to the Word of God.

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Now let me say this. Does that mean that a true Christian should condone what God is against? No, I don’t believe this is what teaching people in love is all about. Ministers and congregation alike have a responsibility to warn lost souls concerning error:

Eze 33:6 “But if the watchman see the sword come, and blow not the trumpet, and the people be not warned; if the sword come, and take [any] person from among them, he is taken away in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at the watchman’s hand.”

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33:1-9 “The prophet is a watchman to the house of Israel. His business is to warn sinners of their misery and danger. He must warn the wicked to turn from their way, that they may live. If souls perish through his neglect of duty, he brings guilt upon himself. See what those have to answer for, who make excuses for sin, flatter sinners, and encourage them to believe they shall have peace, though they go on. How much wiser are men in their temporal than in their spiritual concerns! They set watchmen to guard their houses, and sentinels to warn of the enemies’ approach, but where the everlasting happiness or misery of the soul is at stake, they are offended if ministers obey their Master’s command, and give a faithful warning; they would rather perish, listening to smooth things.” 2

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Not everyone desires to hear,”What thus saith the Lord.” Not everyone believes in God, Jesus, and the saving grace of the cross. Not everyone will embrace the teachings of the Holy Bible, nor heed the warnings of eternal loss. Before the flood in Genesis chapter 7, Noah was probably mocked and thought to be a lunatic while he built the Ark on dry land. The people were warned to change their ways, but they would not heed the warnings, until the flood came – it was too late.

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While the Ark was being built, God was exercising patience. (1 Peter 3:20)

“Then the LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great on the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.” (Genesis 6:5)

But God was patient.

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There were scoffers in Noah’s day, and we live among them in our present society. Unbelievers will be with us until the end of time. We should pity them, and try to reach out to them. If they refuse the true message of the Bible, then we must move on to those who are hungry for the Word. No one “deserves to die.” At the same time, it is the choices that people make in this life that will bring about spiritual death, and possibly physical death (AIDS, drug overdose, etc.)

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“But if you on your part warn a wicked man to turn from his way and he does not turn from his way, he will die in his iniquity, but you have delivered your life. (Ezekiel 33:9)

“So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience;” (Colossians 3:12)

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Telling those in error that they are “going to hell,” or they “deserve to die” is not the place of man.

“For the Son of Man is going to come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and WILL THEN REPAY EVERY MAN ACCORDING TO HIS DEEDS.” (Matthew 6:27)

“Whoever does not receive you, nor heed your words, as you go out of that house or that city, shake the dust off your feet.”  (Matthew 10:14)

That’s all you can do – really.

Long’s anti-gay sermon – click link below

http://bossip.com/291659/bishop-eddie-long-highlights-from-his-most-anti-gay-sermons-video69691/

1http://www.signorile.com/2010/09/bishop-eddie-long-gays-deserve-death.html

2 http://bible.cc/ezekiel/33-6.htm

http://spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org/

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009
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Posted by on October 4, 2010 in Uncategorized

 

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