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GOD LOVES WOMEN? YOU CAN BET ON IT!

By Terry Loving

Crown of Indian women

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.”

 (A relationship with God and eternal life is offered to “whoever” – male and female)

I received an email from someone named “J” – and I promised to reply to their inquiry. With their permission, my reply is this post, for there are many – especially women – who may feel the same way “J” does. Below is the unedited email:

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“Comment: the woman in India has died, i read last night. she was gang raped. it is modern day Judges 19. where does God say He loves women, where does God say He hates the sin of a guy using God given strength to over power & beat & rape a woman to death like in Judges 19. He didn’t give women strength , He made them a target for pain & suffering. i need to know where He says its wrong to hurt women.”

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First of all, YES! – God loves women! His only begotten Son died for male and female – everyone. Also, God has given women more strength and courage than we utilize for our own sakes. Sorry, I do not agree with, “He made them a target for pain & suffering.” I understand your anger over the rape and death of that precious Indian woman. The whole world should be outraged. However, God did not rape or murder her – those who were influenced by evil – harbor evil within their hearts – take pleasure in doing evil took her innocence and her life.

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New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”

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Jesus-Christ-Samaritan-Well-mormon

Although a horrible rape resulted in death in Judges 19 as well, I find that many people do not dig deeper into the story to find the ultimate truth.  When tragedy strikes, too often we blame God for the happening, and quickly assume – in the case of Judges 19 for instance – that God favors men, and does not place a premium on women. Please understand that everything that man did in the Bible was not always justified in the sight of God, nor was everything permitted by God. Too often, assumptions are made to justify the doings of man. There are many examples in the Bible where men made decisions they erroneously believed would bring them favor with God, but ultimately – God was displeased.

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New American Standard Bible (©1995)

“Behold, I have found only this, that God made men upright, but they have sought out many devices.”   (devices = schemes, follow their own downward path, seek many alternatives, sought many inventions, looked for many ways [to avoid being decent]) –      http://bible.cc/ecclesiastes/7-29.htm

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BACKGROUND INFORMATION

The Levites spoken of in Judges 19 and Judges 17: 7-13 were viewed as men close to God, for they served in the Temple of God.

“Originally, firstborn sons were designated to be the holy tribe, the ones who would serve in the Tabernacle and the Temples, and be the spiritual leaders of our nation; G-d having “acquired” them when He spared them during the Plague of the Firstborn in Egypt. When the Tribe of Levi proved their mettle during the debacle of the Golden Calf, G-d removed the privilege of priesthood from the firstborns and instead sanctified the entire tribe of Levi.

Moses blessed the tribe of Levi, saying, “They shall teach Your ordinances to Jacob, and Your Torah to Israel.” Aside for their Temple duties, the tribe served as the rabbis and teachers of their Israelite brethren.” 1

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samaritanwoman

“Michah” in Judges 17: 7-13

Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary

“17:7-13 Micah thought it was a sign of God’s favour to him and his images, that a Levite should come to his door. Thus those who please themselves with their own delusions, if Providence unexpectedly bring any thing to their hands that further them in their evil way, are apt from thence to think that God is pleased with them.”

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Jewish custom places a high premium on hospitality.

In Rabbinical Literature:

“Among the ethical teachings of the Rabbis, the duties of hospitality occupy a very prominent position. Some regard hospitality more highly than the reception given to the Shekinah (Divine Presence); others make it superior to visiting the house of study; others, again, consider it as one of the six meritorious deeds whose reward is like a tree, the fruit of which man enjoys in this world, while the trunk remains for his enjoyment in the world to come (Shab. 127a). Special emphasis was laid upon the hospitality due to a scholar, so that it was said that one who shows hospitality to a student of the Law is regarded as if he had offered the daily sacrifice (Ber. 10b, 63b, id. 76b; Gen. R. lviii. 12).”

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The old man in Judges 19 perhaps felt that he had two situations to defend, a Levite and one to whom he extended the hand of hospitality. In this case, it isn’t God Himself who is making the distinction, but man. Rather than suffer perceived consequences for allowing a son of the priesthood line and his guest be overtaken by evil men, the owner addressed the crowd in this manner:

23The owner of the house went outside and said to them, “No, my friends, don’t be so vile. Since this man is my guest, don’t do this disgraceful thing. 24Look, here is my virgin daughter, and his concubine. I will bring them out to you now, and you can use them and do to them whatever you wish. But to this man, don’t do such a disgraceful thing.”

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beautiful_feet-5

Again, this wasn’t a decision made by God, but by the man of the house and the Levite.

In the same way, Lot offered his daughter’s instead of the two angels:

1The two angels arrived at Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gateway of the city. When he saw them, he got up to meet them and bowed down with his face to the ground. 2“My lords,” he said, “please turn aside to your servant’s house. You can wash your feet and spend the night and then go on your way early in the morning.”

Lot also made the decision to offer up his daughter’s to evil men desiring to have sex with the angels.

Clarke’s Commentary on the Bible

“Here is my daughter, a maiden – Such a proposal was made by Lot to the men of Sodom, Genesis 19:8, but nothing can excuse either. That the rights of hospitality were sacred in the East, and most highly regarded we know; and that a man would defend, at the expense of his life, the stranger whom he had admitted under his roof, is true; but how a father could make such a proposal relative to his virgin daughter, must remain among those things which are incomprehensible.”

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Gill’s Exposition of the Entire Bible

...”let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes; this was a very great evil in Lot to make such an offer of his daughters; it was contrary to parental love and affection, an exposing the chastity of his daughters, which should have been his care to preserve; nor had he a power to dispose of them in such a manner: and though fornication is a lesser evil than sodomy, yet all evil is to be avoided, and even it is not to be done that good may come: nothing can be said to excuse this good man, but the hurry of spirit, and confusion of mind that he was in, not knowing what to say or do to prevent the base designs of those men; that he might be pretty certain they would not accept of his offer, their lust burning more after men than women; that this showed his great regard to the laws of hospitality, that he had rather sacrifice his daughters to their brutal lusts, than give up the men that were in his house to them; and that he might hope that this would soften their minds, and put them off of any further attempt; but after all it must be condemned as a dangerous and imprudent action:…”

 

Movie - One Night With The King - Queen Esther

Movie – One Night With The King – Queen Esther

Neither of these situations suggests that God Himself commanded the old man, the Levite, or Lot make such sacrifices. But one thing should be noted in both scenarios, the perpetrators were eventually destroyed.  The rape and murder of the concubine in Judges 19 triggered a civil war. The rapists were of the tribe of Benjamin, and the elders refused to give them up to justice when commanded by the other Jewish tribes.

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Prior to the general assembly of the tribes of  Israel, the husband of the concubine cut her body into twelve pieces, representing the twelve tribes of Israel – and sent them each a visual impact of the horror that had taken place.:

29When he reached home, he took a knife and cut up his concubine, limb by limb, into twelve parts and sent them into all the areas of Israel. 30Everyone who saw it said, “Such a thing has never been seen or done, not since the day the Israelites came up out of Egypt. Think about it! Consider it! Tell us what to do!”

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In those days, Israel had no king, or magistrates to consider and punish this crime. Therefore, it was up to the people to decide what punishment the men of Gibeah should face – the death penalty was decided. The tribes of Benjamin refused to deliver up the malefactors of Gibeah to justice. The tribe of Benjamin took a stand against the united force of all Israel, fought against justice, and consequently against the just God Himself.

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In Judges Chapter 20, you can read about the civil war which the rape and murder spurred. The Israelites obtained over the Benjamites in the third engagement. The first two times they went to battle they did not consult God, but assumed that their cause was righteous enough that God was automatically on their side – they depended upon themselves too much – assumption can be defeating.

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After the war, there was a remnant of Benjamites, 600 men who took shelter in the rock of Rimmon for four months. The perpetrators were killed in the battle, and God gave the victory to the tribes that fought for justice and punishment of the evil men who raped and murdered to satisfy their evil lusts.

Jude 1:7

 “In a similar way, Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding towns gave themselves up to sexual immorality and perversion. They serve as an example of those who suffer the punishment of eternal fire.”

When we do not “rightly divide” the Word of God, we often blame God unjustly. On the surface, the rape of the concubine may seem that God favors men over women, but this is not true. Not only did God stand for justice, He loved this woman enough to avenge the wrong she suffered. How many civil wars in our modern living were fought over rape, domestic violence, and injustice period? Today, we have the judicial system that Israel did not have; therefore, we have access to justice and retribution through our laws. Most importantly, God is a God of justice – He will avenge all wrong.

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women at tomb

“where does God say He loves women, where does God say He hates the sin of a guy using God given strength to over power & beat & rape a woman to death like in Judges 19.”

I believe I have shown through this example how much this woman was loved, and how justice was served.

“He didn’t give women strength , He made them a target for pain & suffering. i need to know where He says its wrong to hurt women.”

We live in a fallen world, and we should not blame evil doings on God. Too often we get angry with God when a loved one dies, or is taken from us tragically. Humans want it all – free will, a God hands-off policy, and a Divine puppet. We do not want God telling us what to do, and yet, we want Him to be there when something happens to visually and instantly satisfy our need for justice and revenge. One woman stated to me a while ago, “God has some explaining to do!” She was barren and angry that God did not see fit to bless her womb. News flash, God does not owe us any explanation at all:

Isaiah 45:9 “Woe to him who quarrels with his Maker, to him who is but a potsherd among the potsherds on the ground. Does the clay say to the potter, ‘What are you making?’ Does your work say, ‘He has no hands’?

Romans 9:20 “But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? “Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’”

Isaiah 64:8 “Yet, O LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.”

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woman_touching_jesus

“He made them a target for pain & suffering. i need to know where He says its wrong to hurt women.”

Throughout the Bible you can read where God hates injustice and wrongdoing. To say that God made women “a target for pain & suffering” is unjust. It is Satan who hates women, and all mankind. Our world is experiencing spiritual warfare like no other time in history, and yet – God gets the blame for all the bad things done in this world. We fail to acknowledge that evil exists and the fact that humanity has a spiritual enemy:

Revelation 12:9

“The great dragon was hurled down–that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him.”

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“For this reason, rejoice, O heavens and you who dwell in them. Woe to the earth and the sea, because the devil has come down to you, having great wrath, knowing that he has only a short time.”

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”

Job 1:7 “The LORD said to Satan, “Where have you come from?” Satan answered the LORD, “From roaming through the earth and going back and forth in it.”

“Your adversary the devil – This is the reason why ye should be sober and vigilant; ye have an ever active, implacable, subtle enemy to contend with. He walketh about – he has access to you everywhere; he knows your feelings and your propensities, and informs himself of all your circumstances; only God can know more and do more than he, therefore your care must be cast upon God.”      Clarke’s Commentary on the Bible

As a roaring lion – Satan tempts under three forms:

1. The subtle serpent; to beguile our senses, pervert our judgment, and enchant our imagination.

2. As an angel of light; to deceive us with false views of spiritual things, refinements in religion, and presumption on the providence and grace of God.

3. As a roaring lion; to bear us down, and destroy us by violent opposition, persecution, and death. Thus he was acting towards the followers of God at Pontus, etc., who were now suffering a grievous persecution.

Satan is an enemy to mankind in general, but more especially to the seed of the woman, to Christ personal, and to Christ mystical, to all the elect of God:

The devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour. He goeth about as the lion, seeking for prey. The lion while hunting only roars when it springs. So the devil is stealthy and does not give warning of his approach.

Evil is not of God!

satan cast out

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Question: Does God love women?

“Answer: This is an interesting question, but it certainly has a Scriptural answer. First let me remind you that it says in Genesis: “So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” (Genesis 1:27) In other words it takes both the attributes of the woman and the man to see what God is like, since both are half of the picture (image) of God.” (Read more)

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“I believe one reason Jesus may have appeared to the women first after He had arisen from the dead is because He loved them, but also because of their courage under fire that the male disciples did not show when He died on the cross. All the rest of the males had run away except for John. Mary, Jesus’ mother, and other women were at the cross when Jesus died.” (Read more)

“Who did Jesus stop to talk to on His way to Golgotha, was it not the women?” (Read more)

“Why else would these women have been so loyal to Jesus except that He had had a godly love for them! Who is Jesus? He is God in the flesh, what He was like is exactly what God the Father is like! Does He love women? certainly He does! (Read more)

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God loves wives so much that He stops listening to the prayers of their husbands if they mistreat their wives – that’s HUGE!

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.”

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In conclusion “J”, please read posts from this site and you will find many scriptures that speak to God’s displeasure of mistreating women, and one another period.

It is my hope that you have been enlightened, and that the Holy Spirit will touch your heart with truth. It is man that twisted the scriptures to paint our God and Savior as members of the earthly “good ole boys network.” That is the work of Satan.

Thank you for allowing me under the direction of the Holy Spirit to answer your inquiry. May God bless you with His everlasting Peace.

Peace be unto you.

Terry

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“God does not make bad things happen, but religion most certainly can. Since the first words were written in the Bible, men have twisted it to justify their own beliefs, prejudices, and even their own dark desires. That truth is proven even more so in this film.”  (Review quote)

follow the prophet

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1 http://www.askmoses.com/en/article/261,2081262/What-is-a-Levite.html

http://spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009-2012
All rights reserved.

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Posted by on January 5, 2013 in SATANIC INFLUENCE

 

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND VICTIM BLAMING

By Terry Loving

Domestic-Violence

New American Standard Bible (©1995)

“You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”

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“Unlike other victims of violent crime, battered women are often viewed by the police, the prosecutor, judges, jurors and probation/parole staff as responsible for the crimes committed against them; responsible either because battered women are believed to “provoke” the perpetrator into violence or because they are believed to have the power to avoid the criminal assault through accommodating the perpetrator’s demands. Other victims of violent crime are not seen as culpable for the crimes inflicted upon them, but battered women frequently report that criminal justice system personnel appear to consider them “unworthy victims” who are clogging up the courts with unimportant family matters.”  Read more here.

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Victim blaming did not originate with the murder of Kassandra Perkins, nor will it end when another woman loses her life to domestic violence. There are many speculations concerning Kassandra’s death such as, “She stayed out too late after attending a concert.” Kassandra was a gold-digger.” “She was the catalyst in her own murder.” “She was leaving the relationship, and planned to get as much money as possible.” “She took their daughter to a relative’s home without his (Jovan’s) consent.” “Kassandra was lazy.” And so on and so on.

“Belcher telling Perkins, “You can’t talk to me like that!

The next sound was gunfire as Belcher repeatedly shot the mother of their daughter. He shot her “9 times.”

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It is all your fault

Let us assume the negative talk about Kassandra Perkins was true. So where is the justification for murder? There was no mention of a physical altercation where Jovan had no choice but to defend him-self. In fact, she was no physical threat to him at all. This was not a case of an excusable homicide, and Jovan would have served prison time, maybe not as much as he deserved, but he would have if he had not killed himself as well.

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If I had my way, this murder would be classified as premeditated, for Jovan stated in a text message that he would shoot Kassandra if she did not leave him alone.”

Correct me if I am wrong, but shooting someone “9 times” indicates that you want to make sure this person dies. Where was the love his friends said he had for her?  Did Jovan hate the sight of Kassandra so much so that he wanted her dead, and gone from his life, especially since he had a new woman that he desired to be with? Say what you will, but there is no way  this murder is the victim’s fault.

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Too many times the victims of domestic violence are not believed when they seek help, and they are blamed when relationships turn violent. A woman who threatens to leave abuse has every right to get away from the violence, especially if she has children. It is the insecurity and controlling behaviors of abusers that will not tolerate separation, not the woman’s choice to leave that is the excuse for murder.  It is a well-documented fact that women who try to leave, or have left abuse are in more danger of losing their lives.

YOU GOT OUT OF LIN

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Also, some of the news comments are very disheartening such as the following – (unedited):

Both parties are too blame, women are not always best, but we pretend we are. I am not blaming her, but I’m sure she played her part and he played his like a good soap opera.

OK, how can “both parties” share “blame” for her death? And this other statement: … “Women are not always best, but we pretend we are.” What is the world is that supposed to mean?”  – Victim blaming again.

Oh not that she lied about who the father was. I am sorry for the child, but maybe the child will be better off. A man can be driven to do stuff, and she drove him there.

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 First of all, commentators assumed a little too much. And how is the child “better off?” She is an orphan left with an awful legacy. When she grows up, she will have to deal with people saying awful things to her about what happened to her parents. Especially when she goes to school, and we know how cruel children can be at times – they learn from their parents. To say a man “can be driven to do stuff, and she drove him there,” is another victim blaming statement.

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WHY DO YOU MAKE ME HIT YOU

“She pushed my buttons!”

We hear this excuse all the time. Our children can sometimes make us very angry – do we murder them? Couples learn much about one another after spending quality time together. We learn the soft spots and the subjects that bring about anger, hurt, and tears – do we murder our spouses because they touch a nerve – accidentally, or on purpose? Training a new puppy is often frustrating, costly and time-consuming – do we kill the puppy? Do we take out a gun and shoot the old woman for driving too slow? In America, these situations happen every day – whether we hear about them or not – people killing just because they can.

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There has been a rash of murder-suicides in the news lately. And there are many people who are scratching their heads and wondering why this is happening. God already warned us these types of atrocities would come upon us:

“But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these. For among them are those who enter into households and captivate weak women weighed down with sins, led on by various impulses, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.”

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YOU ARE SO STUPID

 Today, life is all about “Me!” People in general lack self-discipline over their emotions. Abusers have no self-control, and act impulsively – then expect understanding for their ugly behaviors. Victim blaming is an easy scapegoat  for allowing violence to be the solution for domestic issues. If self-control were not possible, God would not command it to be exercised.

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New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“Like a city that is broken into and without walls Is a man who has no control over his spirit.”

He that hath no rule over his own spirit,…. His affections and passions, puts no restraint, unto them, as the word signifies; no guard against them, no fence about them, to curb his curiosity, to check his pride and vanity, to restrain his wrath and anger and revenge, and keep within due bounds his ambition and itch of vainglory; is like a city that broken down and without walls; into which they may go with pleasure, and which is exposed to the rapine and violence of everyone; and so a man that has no command of himself and passions, but gives the reins to them, is exposed to the enemy of souls, Satan and is liable to every sin, snare and temptation. Gill’s Exposition of the Entire Bible

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Proverbs 16:32 “Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.”

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THIS IS MY HOUSE

 Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary

16:27,28. Ungodly men bestow more pains to do mischief than would be needful to do good. The whisperer separates friends: what a hateful, but how common a character! 29,30. Some do all the mischief they can by force and violence, and are blind to the result. 31. Old people especially should be found in the way of religion and godliness. 32. To overcome our own passions, requires more steady management, than obtaining victory over an enemy. 33. All the disposal of Providence concerning our affairs, we must look upon to be the determining what we referred to God; and we must be reconciled to them accordingly. Blessed are those that give themselves up to the will of God; for he knows what is good for them.

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Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary

Sin, if it receives any check, becomes cowardly. 24. It is better to be alone, than to be joined to one who is a hinderance to the comfort of life.

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YOU MAKE ME SO ANGRY

James 1:19 “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,”

Proverbs 14:29  “A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly.”

Proverbs 19:11  “A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.”

Ecclesiastes 7:8  “The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.”

Psalm 12:8  “The wicked freely strut about when what is vile is honored among men.”

Proverbs 29:11  “A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”

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Victim blaming will not stand in the Day of Judgment. All of the flimsy excuses for abuse and murder will be judged.

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 There is absolutely nothing that Kassandra Perkins was accused of that warranted her murder. NOTHING! She is a victim, Jovan Belcher is a murderer and solely to blame for both their deaths.

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YOU CANT TALK TO ME LIKE THAT

2 Peter 1:3  “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.”

Matthew 5:21 “You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’

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New American Standard Bible (©1995)

AND IF IT IS WITH DIFFICULTY THAT THE RIGHTEOUS IS SAVED, WHAT WILL BECOME OF THE GODLESS MAN AND THE SINNER?

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS A SIN PROBLEM!

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Types of victim blaming

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Avoiding Victim Blaming

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Rethinking ‘Don’t Blame the Victim’:
The Psychology of Victimhood

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Blaming the Victim

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Delhi anger on streets after rape victim dies

In the wake of the attack, much of the country’s fury has been directed towards a police force seen as apathetic, corrupt and misogynist, and a political class that often seems uncaring. Senior police are regularly quoted in the Indian press as saying women who are raped are to blame for their attacks – for being out at night, for talking to men, or for wearing jeans.

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http://spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

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Posted by on December 26, 2012 in EXCUSES FOR VIOLENCE/ABUSE

 

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE – A WORLDWIDE EPIDEMIC

By Terry Loving

When you are going through the pain of domestic abuse, you feel all alone. Because you can only focus on your pain at the time, you often feel that you are suffering while other women live in happy homes. It is difficult to see past your street address, but I assure you that many cry out in desperation along with you.

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I am writing this post at 8:20 am – could not sleep – on December 30th, 2011. Before I went to bed, I was thinking deeply about the stats on my FLAG COUNTER – 50 flags collected, which represents the different countries that visited my site. The numbers did not impress me, but saddened me. Mostly, I have been writing with the United States in mind as far as domestic violence goes. But last night, I envisioned violence in households all over the world and sighed – “My God.” No one can convince me that Satan – the god of this world is not influencing the violence, and destruction of our homes. I will write more about that in another post.

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My fellow Americans – I am writing this post, so that you will understand that this epidemic is not just a problem that exists at your address only.  This information will not make you feel better, but you will or should begin to see a bigger picture – evil is at work in the world in many ways. Hopefully, you will consider the fact that you are not to blame for what is happening to you. The abusers seem to belong to the same club – POWER AND CONTROL. Their motto is, “Conquer and Subdue the Weak.” Let’s take a look at what is going on around the world.

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Domestic violence in Vietnam

Fewer beatings thanks to group sessions

Domestic violence is prevalent in Vietnam, with poverty, alcoholism and gender role stereotypes considered to be the main causes. Now an SDC-sponsored project has produced encouraging results by or-ganising group sessions for both abusers and victims.

According to local newspaper reports, a woman dies from domestic violence every three days in Vietnam.

http://www.sdc.admin.ch/en/Home/Projects/Domestic_violence_in_Vietnam

Sources report that from 50 to 70 percent of divorces throughout Vietnam have been linked to domestic violence (US 25 Feb. 2009, Sec. 5; DED n.d.; Than Nien 21 Sept. 2008).

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN UNITED KINGDOM

“On average, two women a week in England and Wales are killed by a violent partner or ex-partner. This constitutes nearly 40% of all female homicide victims.”

“Women aged 15-44 are more at risk from rape and domestic violence than from cancer, motor accidents, war and malaria, according to World Bank data.”

“Several global surveys suggest that half of all women who die from homicide are killed by their current or former husbands or partners.”

http://www.whiteribboncampaign.co.uk/Resources/violence_against_women

http://www.ncdv.org.uk/   – UNITED CENTERE FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN INDIA

“According to United Nation Population Fund Report, around two-third of married Indian women are victims of domestic violence and as many as 70 per cent of married women in India between the age of 15 and 49 are victims of beating, rape or forced sex. In India, more than 55 percent of the women suffer from domestic violence, especially in the states of Bihar, U.P., M.P. and other northern states.”

Women in India also admit to hitting or beating because of their suspicion about the husband’s sexual involvement with other women.

http://www.youthkiawaaz.com/2010/02/domestic-violence-in-india-causes-consequences-and-remedies-2/

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“Domestic Violence A Silent Crisis In Russia

“Domestic violence is one of Russia’s darkest secrets. The government estimates that 14,000 women die each year at the hands of their husbands or male partners. But Russian police don’t even classify domestic abuse as a crime. It’s a social problem few Russians ever mention.”

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=92621334

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Turkey‘s shocking domestic viol­ence statistics”

“ISTANBUL — A woman in the studio audience stands up and, with the spotlight highlighting her covered head, announces to the crowd that her husband abuses her but that she doesn’t know how to react and still be a good Muslim.

The host of this popular Turkish TV show, “Islam in Our Life,” Professor Faruk Beser, is — from his trimmed mustache to his tailored suit — the image of a modern, successful Turkish man. But as he approaches the woman, his answer is far from progressive.

Looking her in the eye, Beser urges the woman to “carry this pain within you and keep living with your husband,” prescribing constant prayer over divorce, and reminding the woman of the rewards she will receive in heaven for her suffering.”

Four out of 10 women in Turkey are beaten by their husbands, according to the recent study entitled “Domestic Violence against Women in Turkey,” which has collected the first official statistics on this topic in Turkey. Even more disturbing, the study reveals that a significant number of abused women, almost 90 percent, do not seek help from any organization.”

“This is such a silent problem that most people don’t believe you when you give them the numbers…”

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Domestic violence in the Netherlands

The Domestic Violence in the Netherlands investigation revealed that more than 200.000 individuals in the Netherlands fall victim to domestic violence every year.

The investigation was performed by the Research and Documentation Centre and the INTERVICT Institute 13 years after the first one and reveals that:
 Most perpetrators of domestic violence are men (83%).
 Most victims of serious domestic violence are women (60%).
 25% of the victims have attempted suicide.
 30% of perpetrators often commit other crimes within two years.

http://www.iamexpat.nl/read-and-discuss/expat-page/news/domestic-violence-in-the-netherlands

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Domestic Violence in Africa

According to POWA 1 in every 6 women who die in Gauteng are killed by an intimate partner.

The Institute of Security Studies did a research project in 1999. They found that:

90% of the women interviewed had experienced emotional abuse: being humiliated in front of others was most commonly reported.

90% had also experienced physical abuse: being pushed or shoved and being slapped or hit were highlighted.

71% had experienced sexual abuse: attempts to kiss or touch followed by forced sexual intercourse occurred most often.

58% experienced economic abuse: money taken without consent was most common.

42.5% of women had experienced all forms of abuse.

60% of all cases of abuse were committed by partners, lovers or spouses.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/566160.stm

http://www.womeninaction.co.za/social-affairs/statistics-on-domestic-violence-in-south-africa/

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Report: Domestic violence on the rise – Israel

Disturbing statistics. The last five years saw an increase of 55 percent in the number of teenage girls seeking help on matters of domestic violence, a report of the Teenage Girls Service at the Ministry of Social Affairs relayed to Ynet Thursday reveals.

The data also indicated a sharp increase of 60 percent in the number of violent incidents reported in the haredi sector, and of 37 percent in the Arabic public, this in comparison with statistics from the year 1999.

According to the ministry’s statistics, the most significant rise in girls’ distress was expressed in the number of reports on sexual abuse, an increase of 21 percent in the last five years, and of domestic violence – an increase of 55.5 percent during the same period.

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The above countries are just a few which share the atrocities of domestic violence. Each time you scream, a woman in another country is screaming also. When your children run and hide, children on the other side of the world are hiding in closets – trembling in fear as well. The abusers view the women the same – “property,” “worthless,” “slaves,” “sex objects,” “inferior” and the like. The common motivation abusers possess is a misplaced desire for power and control. American women may enjoy more “freedom” than women in other countries. However, how they are treated by abusers amounts to imprisonment in many areas – no different from women suffering in other countries.

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SISTERS IN PAIN

You are far away, on a shore I may never see

A land my feet may never touch

We are different in many ways, and yet the same

Sisters in pain

When you cry, I cry

When you hurt, I hurt

Our hearts together long for relief

And yet, it never comes for we are

Sisters in pain

Someday, oh yes – someday

Like an eagle spreading her wings

We shall soar, fly away

Ascending above the lies and deceit

Smiles will be ours to own once again

We will embrace, shedding tears of joy

No longer will sorrow be our comforter

My sisters, stand strong – it won’t be long

We are united in pain,

And we shall no longer be in agony,

For we shall at last taste the sweet flavor of victory

© Terry Loving, 2011

Revelation 7:17 “For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.”

Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

Psalm 126:5 “Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.”

Isaiah 1:27 “Zion will be redeemed with justice, her penitent ones with righteousness.”

Isaiah 25:8 “he will swallow up death forever. The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears from all faces; he will remove the disgrace of his people from all the earth. The LORD has spoken.”

Isaiah 30:19 “O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. How gracious he will be when you cry for help! As soon as he hears, he will answer you.”

Isaiah 41:14 “Do not be afraid, O worm Jacob, O little Israel, for I myself will help you,” declares the LORD, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.”

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The silent global epidemic: domestic violence against women

Rumana Monzur

WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS WOMAN IS BEYOND RAGE – IT IS EVIL!  DEMONIC!  SATANIC!

“Her husband, Syeed Hasan Sumon, who is nearly blind from a degenerative disease, pulled his wife’s hair, throwing her to the bed and pinning her arms down with his legs, she says. Then, in an account that is bone-chilling, she says her husband pressed his fingers into her eyes, gouging them out. According to Monzur, he gnawed at her cheek, lips, and nose, biting off bits of flesh, blood spilling throughout the room as Monzur flailed. Her daughter, Anusheh, stood in a corner of the room, screaming, as two household servants struggled to open the locked door. A neighbor took her to the hospital, where her parents soon arrived. The diagnosis: blindness. “I lost my eyes,” says Monzur. “I don’t want anyone to suffer like I am suffering. It is horrible.”

Rumana Monzur asks for prayers as she returns to Vancouver
UBC grad student plans to finish her PhD

“Monzur, speaking softly through tears, says she still has hope doctors in Canada will be able to treat her eyes and she may one day see again.”

Bangladesh wife-mauling suspect Sumon found dead

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Violence Against Women is Epidemic in Guatemala

“Parts of Guatemala have the highest murder rates in the world, according to the United Nations, especially along drug trafficking routes that lead from South America into the United States.  The culture of violence has resulted in an epidemic of domestic violence, sexual abuse and rape, sex trafficking and femicide – the murder of women. In Guatemala, on average two women are killed every day.”

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It’s An Epidemic: Domestic Violence

“Sexually transmitted infections are also related to abuse victims; with 40% of the women of abuse having at least one sexually transmitted infection, vs 18% for the women who were not in abusive situations.”

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Domestic Violence an ‘Epidemic’ Researchers Report

“This is an epidemic,” said Robert S. Thompson, MD, senior investigator, lead author of one paper. “But it flies under the radar, because of the stigma and shame associated with it — as well as the fear that many health care providers have of opening what some call a ‘Pandora’s Box’ of difficult problems that they are unsure how to address.”

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Domestic violence epidemic in Kern County

“A Bakersfield family had its world turned upside down this summer when Tabasha Criado and her four children were murdered in Medford, Oregon. “Her husband killed her, stabbed her, stabbed the children and then set the house on fire, and then tried to kill himself as well, but was not successful,” said Evelyn Young, Criado’s Great Aunt.”

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Violence Against Women: A Hidden Pandemic (Part II)

“Domestic violence is a threat to equality and justice that no civilized society should allow to exist.”

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Domestic Violence: The Silent Killer of Women Worldwide

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Abused American Women Living Abroad: How We Can Help

“Just for one moment, imagine you are an American woman, married and living in a foreign country with three very young children. When you met your husband in college, he was charming, polite and loving. You were young, naïve, and in love. You dropped out of college and moved overseas because your husband convinced you that life would be better there. Now you find, once you are here, he becomes a stranger-unpredictable, moody, controlling and increasingly violent. After the most violent of episodes, he apologizes, but he won’t let you go back home.”

Americans Overseas Domestic Violence Crisis Center

Offers live chat!

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“Maria was born in the Dominican Republic. She married a United States citizen, immigrated to this country, and obtained “conditional” resident immigration status, which enabled her to remain legally in the United States provided that she stay wedded to her spouse. Soon afterward, her husband began to brutalize her physically. “One time I had eight stitches in my head and a gash on the other side of my head, and he broke my ribs…. He would bash my head against the wall while we had sex. He kept threatening to kill me if I told the doctor what happened.” Afraid of the risk of deportation, Maria endured her husband’s treatment for months. After she finally fled, her spouse demanded that she return to his apartment for her immigration documents. At first, she told him, “No, you’re going to hit me.” But then she realized that she had to go because she needed the papers. She described the consequences: “He beat me on the head. He sat on my stomach. He put a knife to my throat and raped me. Then he threw me naked on the street.”

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“Saving Face”: Horrific Acid Attacks Target Women in Pakistan

“According to filmmaker Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy, who just won the Academy Award for the short form documentary “Saving Face”, “If a man wants to take on a second wife but his first wife doesn’t want him to, he says, right I’ll just throw acid on her face and get rid of her, so she’ll spend the rest of her life in and out of hospitals.”

Jail may await Afghan women fleeing abuse, rape: HRW

AFGHANISTAN – WHY DOES AMERICA SUPPORT A COUNTRY THAT TREATS WOMEN IN THIS EVIL MANNER?

“KABUL (Reuters) – For Afghan women, the act of fleeing domestic abuse, forced prostitution or even being stabbed repeatedly with a screwdriver by an abusive husband, may land them in jail while their abusers walk free, Human Rights Watch said.”

“Running away is considered a “moral crime” for women in Afghanistan while some rape victims are also imprisoned, because sex outside marriage – even when the woman is forced – is considered adultery, another “moral crime”.

“The plight of a woman called Nilofar illustrates the problem. She was stabbed repeatedly with a screwdriver in the head, chest, and arms by her husband who accused her of adultery for inviting a man into the house, the rights group said.”

But afterwards, she was arrested, he was not.

“The way he beat her wasn’t bad enough to keep him in jail. She wasn’t near death, so he didn’t need to be in prison,” the prosecutor of the case told Human Rights Watch.”

“HE WILL KILL ME”

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“The 33-year-old former dancing girl — who was allegedly attacked by her then-husband, an ex-lawmaker and son of a political powerhouse — jumped from the sixth floor of a building in Rome, where she had been living and receiving treatment.”
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HOT PEACH PAGES – INTERNATIONAL DIRECTORY OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AGENCIES

(Please click on link above to view the directory)
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Click on the above link to access the world map, and then click on each country that you are interested in  to find help.
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Domestic Violence Against Women: How to Spot Abusive Men when Dating

Is Your Date an Abuser? Learn the Signs Before It’s Too Late

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The Danger Assessment

The Danger Assessment helps to determine the level of danger an abused woman has of being killed by her intimate partner. It is free and available to the public. Using the Danger Assessment requires the weighted scoring and interpretation that is provided after completing the training. The Danger Assessment is available in a variety of languages.

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Pakistani women turn to once-taboo divorce to escape abuse

US woman becomes hero for battered wives in China

“You control everything in my life,” she complained.

“Shut up,” he warned.

“I will not shut up,” she responded.

He stood up. “I said, ‘shut up.'”

She got to her feet also. “I will NOT shut up,” she said.

Then came the beating that finally drove her out. When he let go, she grabbed Lydia and walked to the police station. She hesitated at the door, then thought of her daughter, took a deep breath and walked in.

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Saudi Arabia passes kingdom’s first domestic abuse law

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http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009-2012
All rights reserved.

 
7 Comments

Posted by on December 30, 2011 in SPEAK UP! SPEAK OUT!

 

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Why Do Some People Enjoy Hurting Others?

By Terry Loving

“I have found only this: God made people decent, but they looked for many ways [to avoid being decent]. Whatever evil may be now found among men and women, it is not of God; for God made them all upright.”

GOD’S WORD® Translation (©1995)

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“If I ain’t gonna have my kid neither will anyone else, the hell with them,” he said.

“He says that night he’d gone to see his son but he wasn’t home. Angry, seeing red, he said, “I wanted to destroy a human…cause pain make them feel that.” Why Zina, he was asked, “She was just there,” he said, “I can grab her and do what I want.”

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On July 4th, 2007, 42-year-old Terapon Adhahn did exactly what he “wanted to do.” He was angry that his son wasn’t at home when he visited, and he made good on his inner threat to “destroy a human.” That “human” was 12-year old Zina Linnik – her body was found three days later. The “Thai immigrant and convicted sex offender, was charged with aggravated first degree murder, first degree kidnapping and first degree rape in Linnik’s death.”

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“Adhahn says he accidentally killed her by pulling a zip-tie around her throat within minutes after she was taken. Zina’s family disputes that timeline, and blames sloppy and sleepy police work.”

This case also involves a delayed response in an Amber alert for Zina, which could possibly have saved her life. However, the main point of this post is the fact that Adhahn proves that anger can go too far. Not unlike abusers, Terapon needed to vent his selfish anger, and he didn’t care who would be the object of his wrath. Some people drink and drug away their frustrations; others cause physical, emotional, and psychological damage – by any means necessary.

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Anger is akin to boiling water in tea kettles. The heated water gradually gets hot – hotter – and eventually gives off steam and the whistle blows. More than likely Terapon felt good about the opportunity to see his son. But slowly became enraged when this didn’t happen. Little Zina had nothing to do with his anger, or the fact that he didn’t get to see his son. She was the recipient of the fury that boiled within his soul. Tearapon was like the devil, “seeking to devour.” Unfortunately, he came across an innocent child – and unleashed his rage. Selfishness is the key ingredient that caused Zina’s death. Terapon could not have his way, so he had a temper tantrum – a deadly fit of anger.

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So, do people really “enjoy” hurting others? I personally believe they “enjoy” the so-called power they feel as a result of dishing out pain and abuse. MentalHelp.net concurs:

Why Do People Abuse?

The first question, “Why do people abuse other people?” has multiple answers. Some abusers learned to abuse from their parents. Their early history consisted of receiving abuse themselves and/or seeing others abused (one parent abusing the other or their sibling, etc.). As a consequence, abuse is the normal condition of life for these people. Such people internalized a particular relationship dynamic, namely the complementary roles of “abuser” and “victim”. They are familiar with and fully understand the terror of being the helpless victim from their own childhood experience. The opposite of being a victim is not simply opting out of abuse; it is instead, to be abusive. Given the choice between being the out-of-control victim, or the in-control abuser, some of these people grow up to prefer the role of the abuser. As they become adults, they simply turn this relationship dynamic around and start acting out the “abuser” side of the relationship dynamic they have learned. By choosing to be the aggressor and abuser, they may get their first sense of taking control over their own destiny and not being at the mercy of others. That they hurt others in the process may go unregistered or only occur as a dim part of their awareness. 1

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Adhahn was “allegedly raped repeatedly by an older sibling,” and “physically abused” by his father. If it is true that the pain he caused didn’t register in his mind, and he only has a “dim part of awareness,” should there not be a way to bring his horrible deeds to the forefront of his mind – and show Adhahn and abusers, rapists, murderers just how much devastation they are causing in the lives of others? Do you think this is possible? Or will those who commit dastardly deeds continue to “enjoy” the power?

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Think about this, how many abusers you know beat their loved ones in front of others? How many men rape women on a crowded street? How many men proudly proclaim, “Yeah, I beat the hell out of her” when the cops knock on the door? Do you think Terapon Adhahn would have kidnapped Zina in front of her siblings when she had reached them? – Most likely not. How many women will physically or verbally abuse their husbands in front of witnesses? And most children are abused behind closed doors, by in-control abusers. Secrecy is very important to those who do evil. Abusers are able to “discern” between good and evil – they choose to abuse.

The final point I will make is this, abuse is deliberate, selfish, and a choice. Since you are the closest to your abuser when he or she angrily blows, you will be the recipient of the fall out. As with Zina, you don’t have to do or say anything to bring on the violence and mistreatment. Abusers search for ways to make themselves feel better. It would be nice if they would just kick a few trees, or run around the block a few times to bring down the level of their anger. But these simplistic endeavors do not cure selfishness.

Terapon wanted Zina to feel his pain. It didn’t matter that it was Zina, it could have been anyone. In his sick mind, he thought that by unleashing his fury onto her, the suffering and pain that he was feeling inside would be transferred to her, and he would be released from his demons once and for all – at least for that night. It doesn’t work that way.

Like women survivors, what may be most common among men who were abused as children is that they feel like they are unfit human beings:
“Filled with shame, they experience themselves as profoundly defective and horribly toxic. Often they have internalized the scourges hurled at them in childhood…Frequently told by abusers they provoked and wanted the sexual attacks, survivors see themselves as malevolently powerful.”  These men may engage in violent enactments or manipulate destructive sexual encounters, masochistically picking up with themselves where their perpetrators left off.” 3

Violence and abuse are often complicated evils. However, they still boil down to power and control. When the abused understand more of what causes people to hurt others, perhaps they will stop blaming themselves. When they understand that these “causes” of anger often released through violence and abuse are also EXCUSES to hurt others selfishly – they will stop blaming themselves. The hurt that we feel when we are sinned against, should be every reason not to hurt others. Why should we make others feel what we don’t want to feel? Selfishness – plain and simple – yet often complex.

The next time your abuser throws you across the room, remember the words of Terapon Adhahn:

I wanted to destroy a human…cause pain make them feel that.”

“She was just there.”

“I can grab her and do what I want.”

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Child killer: ‘I wanted to destroy a human’ (TNT)

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Displaced rage drove Zina’s killer

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1http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=8482&cn=2

2 http://bible.cc/ecclesiastes/7-29.htm

3http://www.yesican.org/articles/icanjj.html

EVIL IS – AS EVIL DOES

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WHERE DID IT ALL BEGIN?

THE FALL OF MAN

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THE FIRST MURDER

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“And it came about when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him.”

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Anger With Denial Yields Violence

“Violent transference may become misdirected at anyone, and at any scale, from a scapegoted spouse or co-worker to a famous public figure, through larger scale organizations such as corporations, and beyond to social ethnic or religious groups. At the largest scale, violent transference reactions may fuel political assassination, ‘hate’ based terrorism, terrorism against whole governments, and war itself.”

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Sadistic Personality Disorder

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Discover the characteristics of Sadistic Personality Disorder and the sadist. Plus the different types of sadists and why people become sadists.

“Sadists like to inflict pain because they find suffering, both corporeal and psychological, amusing. They torture animals and people because, to them, the sights and sounds of a creature writhing in agony are hilarious and pleasurable. Sadists go to great lengths to hurt others: they lie, deceive, commit crimes, and even make personal sacrifices merely so as to enjoy the cathartic moment of witnessing someone else’s misery.” (read more)

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IS THERE A SOCIOPATH IN YOUR LIFE?

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NARCISSISM 101

“Half the harm that is done in this world
Is due to people who want to feel important
They don’t mean to do harm ­
But the harm does not interest them.
Or they do not see it, or they justify it
Because they are absorbed in the endless struggle To think well of themselves.”

T. S. Eliot

http://www.narcissism101.com/

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Narcissus

In Ovid’s tale, Narcissus is the handsome and proud son of the river god Cephissus and the nymph Liriope. The nymph, Echo, falls in love with him but is rejected and withdraws into a lonely spot and fades away, leaving behind her voice. The goddess Nemesis hears her prayers for vengeance and makes Narcissus fall in love with his own reflection, which he cannot embrace. He sits by the pool, watching it until he dies and turns into the narcissus flower.

Narcissist characteristics

Narcissists interact socially with others, but do not form relational social bonds with others. In order to avoid being ‘owned’ by others, the narcissist reduces them to non-human objects.

http://changingminds.org/disciplines/psychoanalysis/concepts/narcissism.htm

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New American Standard Bible (©1995)
"Because lawlessness is increased, most people's love will grow cold.

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CHRISTIAN SUFFERING-IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE GOD’S WILL?

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“THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT!”

Culture and collective violence:

How good people, usually men, do bad things
“Little by little, we were taught all these things.
We grew into them.”
Adolf Eichmann

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12 Hours of Terror: Conn. Woman Held Hostage by Arsonist Ex

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The Danger Assessment

The Danger Assessment helps to determine the level of danger an abused woman has of being killed by her intimate partner. It is free and available to the public. Using the Danger Assessment requires the weighted scoring and interpretation that is provided after completing the training. The Danger Assessment is available in a variety of languages.

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www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009
All rights reserved.

Protected by Copyscape Web Plagiarism Detector

 
2 Comments

Posted by on June 3, 2011 in EXCUSES FOR VIOLENCE/ABUSE

 

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AFTER THE VIOLENCE – THEY HAD SEX

By Terry Loving

It was another night of violence – body slamming – glass breaking – yelling – punching – the same scenario,  every time. Except this time, something was different.

My mother wasn’t sitting on the couch nursing her wounds. Maybe she didn’t get hurt that badly this time? Someone did – the sounds of violence were too intense for no harm done. Something was different though – it was quiet – too quiet – did someone die? Hopefully, it wasn’t my mother. What would we do? Where would we go? It was quiet, too quiet.

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As I slowly crept to the closed bedroom door, I heard moaning. Someone was still alive. Did my mother need a doctor? Was she bleeding like the last time? I was afraid to open the door – but I had to know if my mother needed help. My hands were shaking, but I forced them to turn the knob, and open the bedroom door. It was a “No-No” to open the grown-ups bedroom door without permission – but this was an emergency – my emergency – I had to find out if my mother was still alive.

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Nothing could have prepared my young mind for the confusion I experienced that day. My mother was alive, hurt, but alive. Her abuser was in the same position that he was always – on top – they were having sex. I stood there for just a moment trying to take it in. I wasn’t interested in the act itself – but the explanation. How could she take a beating like that, and they have sex afterward? I was a kid then, I can’t remember my age – but I knew that what was happening wasn’t something that was supposed to happen. Sex?? How??

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A friend of mine confided in me that his parents had sex after the violence as well. Ike Turner and many other abusers expect/demand sex after they beat their victims senseless. For abusers this is the icing on the violence, a coming down after a building up. For the victim, this is forced sex, humiliation, torture, adding insult to injury, and in many cases – marital rape.

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As a child, I could not understand why my mother would allow it. As an adult, I realize that she had no choice. Why face another beating when you are already bleeding and broken – just give in and survive. And that is what sex after a beat-down amounts to – survival. No one can convince me that a battered woman enjoys sex after physical abuse. Personally, I had a hard time being intimate with my ex-husband after his verbal tirades. In fact, I didn’t. So, I know that this isn’t sex that is enjoyed. If so, then both abuser and the abused have serious issues.

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If you are living with violence and abuse – sexual abuse – it won’t be long before you are an empty shell. You will be among the walking dead, soul-less, and you will have nothing left. I pray for your strength to get out of the hellish life you are living, seek help. If you stay, there are only two roads that will lead your life – anger and revenge – depression, and possibly suicide – either way – death. You are worth much more than that to God. He loves you. You are worthy of love and respect no matter what you have gone through. Honor yourself – live!

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NATIONAL CENTER  – on Domestic and Sexual Violence

http://www.ncdsv.org/

SIGNS OF ABUSE AND ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

MENTAL HEALTH RESOURCES

http://www.findcounseling.com/journal/domestic-violence/sexual-abuse.html

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“My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold and my refuge; My savior, You save me from violence.” (2 Samuel 22:3 – NASB)

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http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org


No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009
All rights reserved.

 
16 Comments

Posted by on October 20, 2010 in SEX AND THE BATTERED WOMAN

 

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What About The Children?

Children in Jerusalem.

Image via Wikipedia

Have you ever asked your son if he were molested? Has your daughter ever been made to sit on “daddy’s” lap and play the tickle game? Does your child cut up in school, act out for no visible reasons? Do you listen to your children when they tell you they are mistreated? Most of all, would you believe your daughter if she told you your boyfriend touched her in her “special place?”

Sadly, many women are in denial when it comes to their boyfriends. They make the mistake of allowing a strange man to move into their homes, – take on the role of “daddy” – when the man has no love in his heart for the children. Oh sure, he pays lip service to accepting the package deal – a woman with kids. But over time, his contempt for kids that he did not father comes to light – or kept  secret.

Many so-called men will find a weak-willed woman who is desperate for companionship, and dominate her life to gain control. Domination doesn’t happen all at once, it is subtle, calculating, and very deceiving. Little by little, the woman who was once “head of the household” is now a beat down servant, and her children become submissive through fear.

No one enjoys being alone. God made us to need one another – to give and receive love. But given the climate of our world today, especially relationships, isn’t it time for a serious inspection of our lives? What is more important, living a life of misery and pain, or raising our children to become productive members of society- whole and spiritually sound?

Many children are neglected – no decent clothing – but the boyfriends are looking sharp and well-kept. There are women who will work, allow the boyfriends to stay at home with his buddies all day, and expect him to be “the man.” I don’t respect any so-called man who will live off of a woman, especially a woman with kids.

The other downside to live-in boyfriends, they molest, abuse, and mistreat your children – not all, but too many. Not to mention, they may also beat and mistreat you. Countless innocent children, both male and female have been raped– repeatedly by boyfriends. Granted, biological fathers have been known to mistreat their own flesh and blood – even some mothers.  Daddies have raped their own daughters while mommy slept in the next room. But right now, this post is about live-in boyfriends.

When we live in sin, anything can happen. Unregenerate hearts have no sense of decency, and they know no boundaries. The mind that is far from the heart of God will commit ungodly acts, and make excuses for abominations. When you find out that your boyfriend has molested your 6-year old daughter, you may get rid of him – but your child is damaged for life!

Get educated. Get support. Listen to your children. Be strong enough to raise them alone, and meet their ever changing needs. Look to the Word of God for strength to give your offspring the best life that you can give them. Love is great – love is what everyone needs – especially your children. They will be a part of your life forever. Men will come and go, but your children will be yours always.

The pain of molestation is lifelong, and in many cases, it  can be avoided. If your children tell you something is wrong, believe them. Besides, is it that important to have a man, if he is the wrong man?

Listen to your children, they are a gift of God. And you will answer to God for not protecting them. My mom was an alcoholic – sick and selfish. Her needs were always more important than those of her children. You have a choice, make it a positive one.

God bless.

Mom’s Boyfriend Charged In Toddler Sex Abuse Death

http://spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org/id60.html

“Holy and awesome is His  name. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. A good understanding have all those who do His commandments.

Psalm 111:9-10

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Posted by on February 1, 2010 in PROTECTING CHILDREN FROM ABUSE

 

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