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DOMESTIC ABUSE IN CHRISTIAN HOMES – Recommended Reading

By Terry Loving

Galatians 5:1 “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

My ex-husband/verbal abuser was a song leader in our church. He often used this platform to air out our business, and tried to make me look bad as a person in general. It is an awful feeling sitting on the front pew feeling eyes on the back of your neck, wishing that you could snap your fingers and just disappear. Mind you, the things said about me were not a true picture of my character, but an attack from someone who was supposed to be on the Lord’s side as I truly demonstrated.

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Even though my ex was not a preacher, somehow standing in the pulpit putting me down made him feel like a big man. In between announcing the next song to sing, he would wound me deeply in front of everyone that knew us. Fortunately, in the end when things at home got really bad – escalating to shoving – the leadership believed me, and helped me to move away from abuse. They provided me with a down payment on my own apartment after making sure that I was able to make it on my own. I assured them that this was possible, and I was determined to do so.

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After the whole truth came out about my ex and his abuse, the leadership rebuked him and he eventually left our church. I still attended – in peace – but not many abused Christian women are as fortunate as I was at the time. Author Susan Greenfield is one of the many women in our churches that know firsthand what it is like to lose her-self to abuse. When your abuser is in the pulpit preaching sermons that touch the souls of the congregants, it is very difficult to get them to believe that the same person is evil behind closed doors.

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No woman should suffer abuse, especially not by the hands of men who claim to follow Jesus Christ. Unfortunately, there are many who keep silent concerning domestic violence and abuse in fear of turning people away from serving God. Too many “Christians” prefer to keep up false appearances that all is well in the Kingdom of Christ when this is the exact opposite. Granted, what God has established through Jesus Christ remains constant and never changing. Every soul needs a Savior, a Guide, a Friend, and a Confidant, Someone who cares about them eternally. God never changes His love for us.

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Sadly, it is the mistaken souls in our churches that believe they have the right to treat others any way they so desire. God is the same yesterday, today, tomorrow and forever. It is mankind that gives Christianity a bad reputation, not God and His Word. Christianity should be a peaceful experience, not without challenges, but certainly there should be no mistreatment from fellow spiritual sojourners.

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Not only does Susan Greenfield share her raw experiences, she offers practical advice to those who assist the abused. Her book is a wonderful resource for those who speak out against domestic violence, and an eye opener for the abused. Even though this book is written by a Christian woman, non-Christian readers may find her experiences very helpful. Most of all, she offers her contact information at the end of the book.

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Susan has been beaten while pregnant, lived in a shelter, had church members turn against her; was tortured in her own home; in public; and tormented regularly by her “Christian” husband – who hid behind the pulpit of shame. I highly recommend this book as a guide, and reference to strengthen those who are seeking to leave abuse.

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Author Barbara Roberts is another Christian woman who knows the horrors of abuse. I am very happy that Susan and Barbara are speaking out to help others. Unfortunately, the subject of divorce comes up when abusive situations drive the abused to seek permanent solutions. I personally took this road, and I have no regrets.

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http://www.notunderbondage.com/

There are well-meaning church folk that advise the abused to “cook better,” “keep silent,” “don’t push buttons” and all kinds of useless counsel. The abused may be shamed into staying with her abuser so the church doesn’t look bad in the eyes of the world. What the abused need is sound Biblical advice, not unfounded emotional blackmail.

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There are many misconceptions concerning Christian marriage, divorce and remarriage. Barbara does an excellent job clarifying much of the confusion. There are many scripture references concerning this issue, and her research offers a fresh perspective that is worth exploring. When marriage breaks down due to abuse, it is difficult for Christians to make spiritually informed decisions without the right information.

“NOT UNDER BONDAGE” contains valuable information on topics such as:

“What is abuse?”

“If I’m the innocent party, why do I still feel guilty?”

“God hates divorce” – slogan or scripture?”

“May I remarry if I have suffered divorce?”

There is valuable information for those who counsel the abused, and to assist the abused to understand what the Bible has to say about divorce. Barbara did an excellent job with this subject, and I highly recommend this book for those who need this information.

Susan and Barbara, thank you!

Barbara, thank you for sharing these insightful resources.

May God bless your endeavors to bear fruit for His Kingdom.

Terry

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Why do Christian Husbands Abuse Their Wives? 

Part One (click here)

“God gave Adam and Eve–both of them–dominance over the animals not over each other (Genesis 1:28)”

“Clearly both Adam and Eve were created in the image of God. Together they reflected God’s image. In essence, male dominance teaches that males were created in the image of God and females were created in the image of man. There are no Biblical texts or teachings that support the idea that Eve was to be subordinated to Adam. Jesus told his disciples: “When you see me you see the father . . . I and my father are one.” This was to be the example of male/female relationship.”

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Why do Christian Husbands Abuse Their Wives?

Part Two (click here)

“We have learned that religious abuse, a form of emotional/psychological abuse, is a way many Christian Bahamian men abuse their partners. Religious abuse occurs when someone makes you feel that it is your Christian duty to stay in an abusive relationship. It is using texts out of context to perpetuate domestic abuse, to encourage a partner to be submissive to an abusive mate. It is also when a husband constantly reminds his wife about her “Christian duty” to be submissive and to respect him as the head of the house, and placing himself as “king of the castle.”

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Why do Christian Husbands Abuse Their Wives? 

Part Three (click here)

“How could a “Christian nation” be so poisoned, so sinful, and wretched? In reality, the churches have laid the foundation for such abusive behavior. The church is powerful. It has preached submission to husbands “no matter what.” The church has taught that reconciliation is staying with an abusive partner because “a gentle, Christlike, meek spirit will win him over.” It has taught that Christian forgiveness means returning to a threatening, dangerous relationship. It has kept quiet in a world which resonates with cries of abused women and children. It has denied, covered-up, and minimized the abuse of church leaders, and other Christian men, thus demanding no accountability, no change. Who has to change? It is always the woman. In reality this is not ministry of reconciliation.”

If you are a pastor who would like learn more about the dynamics of abuse or hurting person in need of help, or you have request for counseling, write to P.O. Box CB-13019, Nassau, The Bahamas or Email: question@soencouragement.org , or call 242 327 1980

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Marital Abuse & the Bible

“I’m not an authority on the subject. Yet, I also know that those of us who have used the Bible over the years to support marital permanence have often inadvertently contributed to a loss of peace and safety in the home. So I feel an obligation to do what I can to speak to a problem that, through so much misunderstanding, is robbing men of their honor, and women of their safety.”     by Mart De Haan

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THE PHARISEE SYNDROME

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THE WRONG ADVICE!

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http://www.amazon.com/Would-Real-Church-PLEASE-Stand/dp/1602660255

http://www.amazon.com/Not-Under-Bondage-Biblical-Desertion/dp/0980355346/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1345403717&sr=1-1&keywords=not+under+bondage

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NEW BOOK ANNOUNCEMENT!

(May be used for group or individual Bible study)

This Bible study is a necessity for all who counsel abused women. Domestic violence has reached epidemic portions worldwide, and we must not keep silent. Church leadership must recognize that Christians are not immune to domestic abuse, and the need for education in this area is great. The abused have been silent for too long – now they have a platform from which to share their experiences. With each study session, they will learn to open up, release their grief, and find their personal road to healing. It is encouraged that participants keep a journal as they travel this road of healing and restoration.

Please CLICK HERE if you desire to be notified of this publication’s release date.

Thank you in advance for your patience.

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13 Comments

Posted by on August 19, 2012 in According To His Word

 

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HE BEATS ME – BUT HE IS A GOOD MAN!

By Terry Loving

New International Version (©1984)
“The LORD examines the righteous, but the wicked and those who love violence his soul hates.”

You have probably heard the saying that “a good man is hard to find.” Ask any woman who is seeking a mate, and she will tell you one of the qualities required is the man must be a “good” man. I wonder though, would most women know a “good” man if they did find him? What does a “good” man look like? How does he carry himself? Is there some sort of standard by which a man’s character can be measured?

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I have read several posts where the abused women claimed their abusers are “good” men. Here is an un-edited example:

“i’de like to know if a man will stop abuse and i am scared. i am not physically strong and i don’t shout back. i just keep quiet. its happened 3 times now, first in december with a shove, then over easter in the car, he pushed me against the window and wanted to drive us into a wall, i asked him if i could drive, he got out and walked into the bush. we communicated via our phones. when he came back i had to drive slowly, as he wanted to jump out the car, and over bridges. he swore at me in the car all the way home, calling me a bitch and a whore and no man will ever accept me. saturday night he beat me and kicked me for 6 hours. continually….. he is a good man…. we love each other, but i am afraid!

Comment #8 (Posted by Lynette Hoy)”

http://www.counselcareconnection.org/articles/45/1/How-Do-I-Stop-Abusing-My-Wife/Page1.html

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A “good” man would not treat anyone this way – especially a woman he claims to love. Beating and kicking her for “6 hours” proves that this man is evil. Because this woman is afraid of her abuser, she chooses to “keep quiet” which gives the abuser the sense that his actions are allowed. In some warped way, he probably concludes that this woman “likes” how he treats her, or she would do something about it instead of suffering in silence.

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She states that she is “afraid” and “scared” – she should be. This man will only progress to worst abuse, perhaps even kill her one day. She may love him, but he surely does not love her. The problem with this situation is that neither party has any concept of real love. If they did, she would not be suffering abuse, and he would not be dishing it out.

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The main objective of this post is to show from a Biblical stand point what a “good” man should represent. Mind you, everyone has their little quirks, habits, preferences and the like. Not every couple will agree with each other all the time. When blending two backgrounds into a relationship, differences may sometimes clash and cause friction in the home. However, spiritual maturity in both partners will ultimately level out disagreements and restore peace.

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If a man is a “good” man, he will understand and practice Biblical principles that will keep his home in spiritual balance. He will exercise leadership with love, patience, wisdom, and godly direction. Otherwise, he will rule with tyranny and abuse those whom God has blessed him with to be a part of his life and family.

So what is a “good” man? Let us seek the Word of God.

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Gill’s Exposition of the Entire Bible

“A good man, out of the good treasure of the heart,…. “A good man”, is a regenerated man, one that is renewed by the Spirit of God, a believer in Christ, a sincere lover of him, and one that follows him, wheresoever he goes, and who has the grace of God implanted in him: for “the good treasure the heart”, is not what he is naturally possessed of, but what is put into him: and is no other than the superabundant grace of God, or that grace for grace, which he has received out of Christ’s fullness, and the rich experience of it he is blessed with:”

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New International Version (©1984)
“The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.”

New Living Translation (©2007)
“A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart.”

33“A tree is identified by its fruit. If a tree is good, its fruit will be good. If a tree is bad, its fruit will be bad. 34You brood of snakes! How could evil men like you speak what is good and right? For whatever is in your heart determines what you say. 35A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. 36And I tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak. 37The words you say will either acquit you or condemn you.”

http://nlt.scripturetext.com/matthew/12.htm

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“An evil man has an evil treasure in his heart, and out of it brings forth evil things. Lusts and corruptions, dwelling and reigning in the heart, are an evil treasure, out of which the sinner brings forth bad words and actions, to dishonour God, and hurt others. Let us keep constant watch over ourselves, that we may speak words agreeable to the Christian character.”Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary

Dictionary definition of “good”:

adjective

1. morally excellent; virtuous; righteous; pious: a good man.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/good

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In light of the above definition and scriptures, there is no way a violent abuser can be considered a “good” man. If his character does not match up to what you have read thus far, then abusers are the opposite of “good,” which means they are “evil” men who practice evil. They practice sin, and criminal behaviors that justify both earthly and heavenly consequences.

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Most likely, it is during the “honeymoon stage” that abused women fool themselves believing their abusers are otherwise “good” men. Anyone can put on a good act, but that does not mean they are “good” people. What is in your heart will eventually come out – good or evil. Apologies for abuse and flowers do not make a “good” man.

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Also, many women erroneously conclude that if they can get their abusers to stop abusing, then they would have a “good” man. Not necessarily so. Many immoral men do not physically abuse women, but they commit sinful acts in other ways such as deceiving, cheating, lying and stealing etc.

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A “good” man will not verbally abuse you, and call you ugly names.

Proverbs 10:20  “The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value.”

Proverbs 10:21  “The lips of the righteous nourish many, but fools die for lack of judgment.”

His conversation will be full of grace, and seasoned with salt. A “good” man will provide for his family. Otherwise, he is worse than an infidel. He should be like Barnabas:

New Living Translation (©2007)
“Barnabas was a good man, full of the Holy Spirit and strong in faith. And many people were brought to the Lord.”

GOD’S WORD® Translation (©1995)
“Barnabas was a dependable man….”

“For he was a good man – This is given as a reason why he was so eminently successful. It is not said that he was a man of distinguished talents or learning; that he was a splendid or an imposing preacher; but simply that he was a man of an amiable, kind, and benevolent disposition – a pious, humble man of God. We should not undervalue talent, eloquence, or learning in the ministry, but we may remark that humble piety will often do more in the conversion of souls than the most splendid talents. No endowments can be a substitute for this.”   Barnes’ Notes on the Bible

Most of all, a “good” man will strive to be Christ-like. He will endeavor to please the Father in all things. He will care when others are hurting, as Jesus wept over the condition of mankind:

Luke 19:41 “As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it.”

A “good” man will possess compassion:

John 11:33 “When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.”

A “good” man will love his wife as he is instructed to do so:

New International Version (©1984)
“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”

Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

Ephesians 5:28 “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”  (Would a man stomp and kick his own body for “6 hours?”)

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Colossians 3:19 “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”

New Living Translation (©2007)
In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

Barnes’ Notes on the Bible

“Giving honor unto the wife – It was an important advance made in society when the Christian religion gave such a direction as this, for everywhere among the pagan, and under all false systems of religion, woman has been regarded as worthy of little honor or respect. She has been considered as a slave, or as a mere instrument to gratify the passions of man. It is one of the elementary doctrines of Christianity, however, that woman is to be treated with respect; and one of the first and most marked effects of religion on society is to elevate the wife to a condition in which she will be worthy of esteem. The particular reasons for the honor which husbands are directed to show to their wives, here specified, are two: she is to be treated with special kindness as being more feeble than man, and as having a claim therefore to delicate attention; and she is to be honored as the equal heir of the grace of life.”

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Ladies, a “good” man is not one who temporarily refrains from abusing you. During the “honeymoon stage” you may witness endearing qualities that cause you to fall in love with your abuser all over again. However, this brief period of calm will eventually give way to higher and more damaging degrees of violence and abuse. “Do not be deceived.”

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There is much more that can be said concerning this matter. The conclusion is, no “good” man beats, berates, abuses his mate, or anyone. A “good” man isn’t a perfect man, for no man can match the perfection of Jesus Christ. However, a “good” man will strive for spiritual excellence just the same.

New International Version (©1984)
“Keep me, O LORD, from the hands of the wicked; protect me from men of violence who plan to trip my feet.”

Is there some sort of standard by which a man’s character can be measured? YES – the Word of God.

If he beats you – abuses you – cheats, lies, deceives, he is not a good man.

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http://fvpfstore.stores.yahoo.net/healthposters.html

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The Excellence of Love

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.

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Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

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Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13

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Men tell Oprah why they beat the women they love

“When he was in a rage and beating Christy, Sir says he did want her to die. “I had every intention to take her life. I felt like I had power and control over something in my life,” Sir says. “It made me feel invincible.”

“Luckily, Christy survived the abuse.”

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Domestic violence – why men abuse women

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ABUSERS – ARE THEY EVIL?

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NOTE: It is very difficult to recognize a “good” man if you never had an example of a “good” man in your life. One of the mistakes we make is to rush into relationships. A warning sign that you are headed for trouble is a man rushing you into a relationship. When we grow up with bad examples of manhood, we tend to date men who mimic what we saw at home. It is erroneously assumed that all men will treat women this way, and many women accept the abuse as “normal.”

Another mistake is – we do not take time to know ourselves. If we have unresolved baggage from the past, we carry the pain into relationships. Unfortunately, we subconsciously expect our mates to “heal” us, and that is impossible. This applies to both men and women.

Because many of us grew up with dysfunction in our homes, we tend to feel empty in relationships if there is no drama. Therefore, we create it – or recreate what we witnessed at home as children. Men know when a woman is “needy,” and if he has evil intentions you will suffer.

Sadly, some women grow up with godly fathers, and witness what a “good” man should be like – and they gravitate towards “bad boys.” Yes, “bad boys” have been labeled “exciting.” But too often, the excitement is drama in disguise. Unfortunately, many “good” guys are labeled as “nerdy” or “boring.” They usually work hard, own homes, and live stable lives. “Bad boys” often live off their women, prostitute them, beat them, and make life miserable.

Take time to know him or her. If something is for you, you will have it.

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My husband loves me a lot but he’s abusive

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MY HUSBAND HITS ME ALL THE TIME?

“i know all of you guys are saying leave him but its not easy!!
i cant just leave him i want to help him if i just leave him how will he ever change i am his wife and want him to be a better person, can anyone just understand that?”

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My Husband Hits Me

“What do I do if my husband hits me just because he is anger, but I can’t leave him because I love him very much.

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 MAN IS DEFILED FROM WITHIN

“And He was saying, ‘That which proceeds out of the man that is what defiles the man. For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries, deeds of coveting and wickedness, as well as deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride and foolishness. All these evil things proceed from within and defile the man” (verses 20-23). To this list we can add violence, physical and verbal abuse, mistreatment of others.

The person who commits murder is acting out what is in his heart. Adultery is in the heart. Deceit is in the heart. Pride is in the heart. Evil is in the heart. Domestic violence and abuse are in the hearts of those who are defiled from within.

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“This grim made-for-TV domestic drama examines the terrible effects caused by spousal abuse. The story centers on the mental and physical battering endured by a wife at the hands of her troubled husband.”

Regular visits to their home from the police, three broken ribs, hospitalization and many beatings wasn’t enough for her to leave. It wasn’t until her abusive husband threw their young son across the room that she finally started to see the light. This is a woman who thought she had a “good” man, and kept making excuses for his abusing her. She blamed herself, as much as he blamed her for everything that went wrong. A MUST SEE!

https://signup.netflix.com/Movie/Intimate-Strangers/70147041?country=1&rdirfdc=true

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CLICK HERE FOR SAFE HORIZON LINK TO TAKE ACTION

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The Danger Assessment

The Danger Assessment helps to determine the level of danger an abused woman has of being killed by her intimate partner. It is free and available to the public. Using the Danger Assessment requires the weighted scoring and interpretation that is provided after completing the training. The Danger Assessment is available in a variety of languages.

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Domestic Violence Against Women: How to Spot Abusive Men when Dating

Is Your Date an Abuser? Learn the Signs Before It’s Too Late

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Why Men Abuse Women

“Tony says it felt like he “blacked out” during the abuse. “You don’t understand what’s going on,” he says. “I completely own up to [what I did], but in that rage, it’s like your brain wires, they aren’t clicking.”

“He says being in an abusive relationship is like being in a drug addiction. “It becomes like your bond in the sense that the woman is like cocaine inside of that relationship. That’s the only connection you have, because there’s no real love,” he says. “In order to overcome it, it’s almost like you have to separate, go to rehab, move out of the dope house and never come back.”

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10 Signs You May Be in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

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http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 20092012
All rights reserved.

 
16 Comments

Posted by on March 9, 2012 in EXCUSES FOR VIOLENCE/ABUSE

 

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‘Scumbags Welcome!’ Church Behind Controversial Billboard

by Terry Loving

Misinformed – RELIGIOUS ZEALOTS – Please be quiet!

Was it the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz that said, “If only I had a brain?” Or is it the “religious” fanatics of today that cry out for gray mattered wisdom? My unapologetic answer is – both.

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How in the world, can a “Christian” believe that addressing the unsaved as “Scumbags” would make them run to Jesus? As it is, many unsaved people feel that they aren’t “good enough,” or “ready” to come to Christ – because they haven’t reached a certain “spiritual level” – no such thing. They were misinformed, and/or duped by the “holier than thou” that occupy a pew on Sunday morning – thinking they are better than anyone outside of their clique.

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I don’t consider myself to be “religious” in the sense of traditions and ceremonialism. Nonetheless, I am a “true” child of God, and Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior – has been for over 30 years. I also believe that the Holy Bible is the infallible Word of God. I haven’t mastered Biblical principles concerning day to day living – however – as the saying goes, “I am not all that I can be, but Praise God I am not what I used to be.”

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While living in this fleshly body I will continue to make mistakes, and strive to correct them with the blessings of God’s Grace. But there is one thing that I will NEVER do in my spiritual walk, and that is to make an unbeliever – or anyone – feel that God loves them any less because of who, what and where they are in terms of spiritual matters. Not only is that wrong, it defeats the purpose of sharing the love of Christ. God even loves abusers – however, He “hates” the violence and the abuse.

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“SNL Church Pastor Moses Robbins says to understand the billboard; people have to read the Bible scripture on it, Mark 2:13-17, which describes how Jesus Christ welcomed everyone.”

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I read the referenced scriptures, and in all of them, and in every translation I read, “Follow Me.” “Follow me and be my disciple…” Young’s Literal Translation reads, “Be following me.” Also, these scriptures reference the calling of Levi (Matthew) – not “everyone.”

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“As He passed by, He saw Levi the son of Alphaeus sitting in the tax booth, and He said to him, “Follow Me!” And he got up and followed Him.”

You know, I really believe there is something in the water in Florida. Another religious fanatic, Terry Jones upset both Christians and non-Christians alike. He received pleas from the White House itself to call off his plans to burn copies of the Koran at his church. Jesus did not incite riots, call people “scumbags,” and demean sinners into following Him. He gave His life for us, (1 John 3:16).

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To say that all “Scumbags” are “welcome” into the body of Christ – is akin to the attitude of the scribes and the Pharisees. They too were religious zealots who looked down their noses on people who did not share their religious views. They even questioned the love of Christ:

“When the scribes of the Pharisees saw that He was eating with the sinners and tax collectors, they said to His disciples, “Why is He eating and drinking with tax collectors and sinners?” (Mark 2:16)

“And hearing this, Jesus said to them, “It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick; I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” (Mark 2:17)

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Can you imagine a physician coming into a waiting room full of sick people (spiritually and otherwise) – and asking, “OK, which one of you “scumbags” is next?”

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Did these fanatics bother to look up the word “scumbag?”

Slang

“1. A kind of language occurring chiefly in casual and playful speech, made up typically of short-lived coinages and figures of speech that are deliberately used in place of standard terms for added raciness, humor, irreverence, or other effect.”

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/slang

“Scumbag – n. Slang – A person regarded as despicable.”

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/scumbag

The Urban Dictionary equates “scumbag” with a “used rubber, or condom.” A “despised person.”

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=scum%20bag

Hhhhmmmmm.

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“Scumbags welcome” is how self-righteous, misinformed, finger pointing religious folk call the unsaved. Matthew 11:28-30 is the true way that Christ calls all to Him:

“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. “For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

Oh, almost forgot – “Saturday Night Live Church” – well no wonder.  You named your church after a comedy show – figures.

Many preachers are “sent” by God. The rest of you just “went.”

Jesus wept.

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http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

“So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.”

(Romans 10:17)

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http://www.wftv.com/news/27060395/detail.html

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

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Posted by on March 3, 2011 in LIES AND DECEPTION

 

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HYPOCRISY IN THE CHURCH MUST END!

I found this article truthful, and worth sharing. It fits right in with the Eddie Long saga, and speaks volumes concerning the hypocrisy that is turning many lost souls away from God. What a shame.

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Do Good Quietly
by Max Lucado

“They love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men” (Matt. 6:5).

This is the working definition of hypocrisy: “to be seen by men.” The Greek word for hypocrite, hypokrites, originally meant “actor.” First-century actors wore masks. A hypocrite, then, is one who puts on a mask, a false face.

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Jesus did not say, “Do not do good works.” Nor did he instruct, “Do not let your works be seen.” We must do good works, and some works, such as benevolence or teaching, must be seen in order to have an impact. So let’s be clear. To do a good thing is a good thing. To do good to be seen is not. In fact, to do good to be seen is a serious offense. Here’s why.

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Hypocrisy turns people away from God. When God-hungry souls walk into a congregation of wannabe superstars, what happens? When God seekers see singers strut like Las Vegas entertainers . . . When they hear the preacher—a man of slick words, dress, and hair—play to the crowd and exclude God . . . When other attendees dress to be seen and make much to-do over their gifts and offerings . . . When people enter a church to see God yet can’t see God because of the church, don’t think for a second that God doesn’t react. “Be especially careful when you are trying to be good so that you don’t make a performance out of it. It might be good theater, but the God who made you won’t be applauding” (Matt. 6:1 MSG).

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Hypocrisy turns people against God. So God has a no-tolerance policy. Let the cold, lifeless bodies of the embezzling couple issue their intended warning. Let’s take hypocrisy as seriously as God does. How can we?

1. Expect no credit for good deeds. None. If no one notices, you aren’t disappointed. If someone does, you give the credit to God. Ask yourself this question: If no one knew of the good I do, would I still do it? If not, you’re doing it to be seen by people.

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2. Give financial gifts in secret. Money stirs the phony within us. We like to be seen earning it. And we like to be seen giving it. So “when you give to someone in need, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing” (Matt. 6:3 NLT).

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3. Don’t fake spirituality. When you go to church, don’t select a seat just to be seen or sing just to be heard. If you raise your hands in worship, raise holy ones, not showy ones. When you talk, don’t doctor your vocabulary with trendy religious terms. Nothing nauseates more than a fake “Praise the Lord” or a shallow “Hallelujah” or an insincere “Glory be to God.”

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Bottom line: don’t make a theater production out of your faith. “Watch me! Watch me!” is a call used on the playground, not in God’s kingdom. Silence the trumpets. Cancel the parade. Enough with the name-dropping. If accolades come, politely deflect them before you believe them. Slay the desire to be noticed. Stir the desire to serve God.

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Heed the counsel of Christ: “First wash the inside of the cup and the dish, and then the outside will become clean, too” (Matt. 23:26 NLT). Focus on the inside, and the outside will take care of itself. Lay your motives before God daily, hourly. “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life” (Ps. 139:23-24 NLT).

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Do good things. Just don’t do them to be noticed. You can be too good for your own good, you know.

But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. (Matthew 6:3-4 NIV)

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Lord, you make it plain in your Word that you hate hypocrisy, especially because it turns others away from you. So, Father, I pray that you would blunt my natural inclination to seek personal recognition for whatever good things you allow me to do. I don’t want to be a phony, but neither do I want to be a glory hound. Fill me with your Spirit, and teach me to follow his example in gladly giving all glory to your Son. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.

From Outlive Your Life: You Were Made to Make a Difference
Copyright (Thomas Nelson, 2010) Max Lucado

http://www.maxlucado.net/_product_107242/Outlive_Your_Life_%28Hardback%29

NOTE: This is not an advertisement for his book. Just thought what he had to say was profound.

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TODAY’S ‘CHRISTIANITY’ – NOTHING MORE THAN FEELINGS
PART 2

http://www.newswithviews.com/PaulProctor/proctor221.htm

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“God is going to bring judgment to the house of the Lord; Scripture clearly pronounces that (read I Peter 4:17). When apostate churches lose their buildings, programs, and financial backing, what will they have left? They abandoned the Word of God long ago—they will have nothing! When it all comes down it will not be a pretty picture.”

“In actuality, huge numbers of people going to church have never even heard the Gospel! Yet, they sit week after week with a false sense of security that all is well.”

http://www.lighthousetrailsresearch.com/blog/?cat=181

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http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

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Posted by on December 12, 2010 in Home

 

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WHEN SHOULD A PREACHER STEP DOWN?

By Terry Loving

Revelation 2:5  “Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place.”

As more and more preachers “come out of the closet,” admit affairs; and fess up to beating their wives, the Christian church experiences serious discord and loss credibility. For the sake of this post, let’s put race aside and address the negative spiritual hits the body of Christ is enduring as a whole. When it comes to spiritual matters, race isn’t an issue anyway – right is right, and wrong is wrong. Morality is colorless.

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In these Last Days, 1 there is a shake-up in America’s Christian assemblies like no other time in history – at least, not to my recollection. Satan is striking at the very heart of Christ – His church – (the assembly, believers, congregation, “the Church which is His Body, Ephesians 1:22; 5:23). If you ever watched the Jerry Springer show, you would have a good idea how Satan operates. He stirs up confusion – steps back with his arms crossed, and watches the drama unfold. As he does so, he laughs, smirks, relishes in the fact that he could make God’s people act as ugly as sin. He accuses the children of God to God’s face – day and night. (Revelations 12:10).

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Who is to say that it isn’t God Himself shaking things up? We live in critical times, and many souls are dying in increasing numbers daily – without Hope. Can anyone prove that God isn’t purging the church of false preachers filled with lying wonders? Could it be that Christians have been lulled to sleep over the years, and the Holy Spirit is stirring up spiritual waters all over the world? I asked the question in the title of this post, “When Should a Preacher Step Down?” Here is a biblical answer for all to ponder.

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He should step down if:

  • He is not a true, beloved, and genuine child of God in the faith (1 Timothy 1:2)
  • He teaches false doctrine, although no one says anything (1 Timothy 1:3)
  • He is lawless and unruly, ungodly, unholy, profane, murderer, fornicator, abuses himself with men, lies, a false swearer, living contrary to sound doctrine according to the gospel of the glory of the blessed God…” (verses 8-11)
  • He is not without reproach, unfaithful to his wife, not sober-minded, lacks self-control, disrespectful, inhospitable, unable to teach, (1 Timothy 3:2).
  • He is overbearing, quick-tempered, is given to drunkenness, violent and pursues dishonest gain. (Titus 1:7)

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If a preacher is weak, and afraid to tell his flock the truth so they will be saved, he has no business proclaiming the Word in the pulpit. If he is more concerned with popularity and money than lost souls, he will bear fruit in this manner – it will show forth in his life and life-style. If he can’t stand before the congregation and proclaim the truth of God’s Word:

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“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.” (1 Corinthians 6:9-10)

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If a preacher can not speak the Words of God with all humility and concern for lost souls, then by all means – he should step down – immediately! This issue isn’t about tolerance, acceptance or taking sides. It is about lost souls that our Lord Jesus died for. This is not about, “touch not my anointed.” It is about redeeming the time – winning souls – snatching them from eternal damnation. Look around you – “the harvest is plentiful.” But where are the true workers in the Kingdom of God? (Luke 10:2)

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I would also like to add that abusive leadership should step down as well. If you beat or berate your wife and children, you have no business in a position over other members. The Bible calls this type of person a “hypocrite!” There are too many pastors and others who hide behind the Bible and cowardly abuse their precious families.  Wolves in sheep’s clothing. Step down!

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“In their greed they will use good-sounding arguments to exploit you. The verdict against them from long ago is still in force, and their destruction is not asleep”. 2 Peter 2:3- God’s Word Translation)

Bible in Basic English
“And in their desire for profit they will come to you with words of deceit, like traders doing business in souls: whose punishment has been ready for a long time and their destruction is watching for them.”

“How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed? How will they believe in Him whom they have not heard? And how will they hear without a preacher?” (Romans 10:14)

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“Since an overseer is entrusted with God’s work, he must be blameless…”

Why people stick by scandal-plagued pastors

CAN WE REALLY BLAME FALSE PROPHETS?

CHRISTIAN CHURCH – JUDGE OR NOT TO JUDGE

Mr. Pastor  – You’re Fired!

New Orleans, La 11/20/2010
“When is it time for a Pastor to step down? Why does it seem that Pastors are only willing to step down once the consequence of their actions has all but destroyed the unit of the congregation? This topic was recently covered on Church Folk Revolution Radio and it sparked a very heated debate. With every breaking news story involving a pastor and some sort of scandal, more and more church goers are confronted with the issue of integrity in church leadership.
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The Danger Assessment

The Danger Assessment helps to determine the level of danger an abused woman has of being killed by her intimate partner. It is free and available to the public. Using the Danger Assessment requires the weighted scoring and interpretation that is provided after completing the training. The Danger Assessment is available in a variety of languages.

http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org


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Posted by on December 3, 2010 in Home

 

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Violence And Abuse – “You Asked For It?”

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By Terry Loving

I was reading a post written by a woman who was verbally abused, cheated on, and totally beat down by her non-Christian husband. Being a Christian herself, she felt that her disobedience to God – “Do not be unequally yoked…” – brought on the abuse – her punishment for marrying a worldly man. The part of her admission that really caught my attention was, “I asked for what I got.” I don’t agree – totally – with this poor soul, for it sounds like God is punishing her with adultery, violence and abuse. That is not the God that I have learned to love, and the Father that I serve.

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Many people including myself have stated, “If I knew what I know now….” – they would have made more suitable choices in life. It would be wonderful if we could avoid catastrophes’ in life by glancing into the future, but God didn’t fashion us that way. By the way fortune tellers, stop lying to the people. You are robbing them blind, and babbling lies. Now, back to my point; we may have overt or subtle clues warning of possible danger, but physical and emotional neediness causes us to ignore the red flags, especially in relationships.

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I do believe that God will allow us to make our mistakes, especially when we don’t heed His Word, and His warnings. As I research articles and the comment sections, countless people don’t believe in God anyway.  And those who do often find it hard to resist temptation in a world that reeks of evil, and shouts, “You are nothing” if you don’t have a mate, a new car, this brand, that brand, designer clothing, live in a certain area, or have enough money to show off your life-style. No one wants to feel like a “nobody,” so society dictates what it will take to make you feel like a “somebody.” We tend to overlook the obvious negatives when choosing mates in order to feel whole.

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When we place our human needs and desires above God’s wisdom, we often find ourselves in dire predicaments. No one “asks” to be abused or violated in any way. We trade in wisdom for emotionalism, and buy into the idea of “happily ever after.” Our free will is often misconstrued as power to change others. Women especially think they can love away the flaws of damaged men. Been there done that – what a fallacy.

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“Unequally yoked?” – we can be in many ways, especially spiritually.  1Corinthians 6:14 says there is no fellowship between “believers” and “unbelievers;” “light with darkness;” “righteousness” and “wickedness” have nothing in common. “How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness?”  “How can light live with darkness?” (New Living Translation)

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This can also be said of those with “unregenerate” hearts – “1. Not spiritually renewed or reformed; not repentant; Sinful; dissolute. Not reconciled to change; unreconstructed – stubborn; obstinate.”1 In this case, unregenerate hearts applies to abusers in church houses that refuse to acknowledge their violent and abusive ways, and repent. Their sins are “stored up and kept on record” for the Day of Judgment (Hosea 13:12; Romans 2:5)

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In conclusion, no one “asks” for a punch in the mouth; broken bones; verbal abuse; or any kind of mistreatment. I am sure abused individuals would run the other way if they had witnessed their abusers doing to others what is now being done to them. If only they could step outside of their bodies to see that abuse is injustice no matter who it happens to. God is not looking down from heaven saying, “See, that’s what you get!” No, He gives us wisdom through His Word to avoid certain people, and dangerous situations – Divine Providence. It grieves His heart when we don’t listen to His direction. Some people view His guidance as “spiritual slavery.” Of course that is what Satan wants you to think so that you will turn away from salvation. God’s laws are for our protection because He loves us, and knows what is down those dark roads that we are tempted to travel.

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Obeying God’s Word offers peace for our lives, and true freedom. It is man that has turned worship of Jehovah inside out, calling evil good and good evil. Satan has been a liar and a deceiver from the beginning, “Did God really say…?” 2 Staying in violent and abusive situations is not God’s Will for our lives. NO, NO! God called Abraham a “friend,” and Jesus had so much compassion for the people that He “wept.” (James 2:23; 2 Chronicles 20:7; John 11:35)

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You didn’t ask for violence and abuse my sister/brother. It is up to you to seek God for strength and courage to change your own lives. Beat down people are in no position to build up the Kingdom of God. What is more important? Yes, the Bible warns us that “Indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,” (2 Timothy 3:12). But this is what is expected from the “world.” Not within our Christian homes.

“Confidence in an unfaithful man is painful and vexatious; when we put any stress on him, he not only fails, but makes us feel for it.”

“It is better to be alone, than to be joined to one who is a hinderance to the comfort of life. Heaven is a country afar off;”

“When the righteous are led into sin, it is as hurtful as if the public fountains were poisoned.”

“The man who has no command over his anger, is easily robbed of peace.”3

“It is better to live in a corner of the roof Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.”  (Proverbs 25:24)

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1 http://www.thefreedictionary.com/unregenerate

2 Genesis 3:1

3 http://bible.cc/proverbs/25-24.htm

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http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

NOTE: Be careful of “tips” in books and on the internet concerning how to deal with verbal abuse.

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009
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Posted by on October 18, 2010 in Home

 

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Bishop Eddie Long: “Gays Deserve Death!”

By Terry Loving

Wow! What a statement coming from a man who claims to preach and teach about the love of God. If “Gays deserve death,”1 then where does the rest of humanity stand? Romans 3:10 says, “…as it is written, “THERE IS NONE RIGHTEOUS, NOT EVEN ONE;” That sounds like the whole world has some fessing up to do.

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I don’t agree with the gay lifestyle, nor do I condemn anyone who chooses to live that way. Condemnation belongs to God and to Him only. It is the work of Christianity to point mankind to the Cross – in love. If anyone chooses to reject the teachings of the Bible, that is between them and their Maker. That goes for any conduct that is contrary to the Word of God.

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Now let me say this. Does that mean that a true Christian should condone what God is against? No, I don’t believe this is what teaching people in love is all about. Ministers and congregation alike have a responsibility to warn lost souls concerning error:

Eze 33:6 “But if the watchman see the sword come, and blow not the trumpet, and the people be not warned; if the sword come, and take [any] person from among them, he is taken away in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at the watchman’s hand.”

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33:1-9 “The prophet is a watchman to the house of Israel. His business is to warn sinners of their misery and danger. He must warn the wicked to turn from their way, that they may live. If souls perish through his neglect of duty, he brings guilt upon himself. See what those have to answer for, who make excuses for sin, flatter sinners, and encourage them to believe they shall have peace, though they go on. How much wiser are men in their temporal than in their spiritual concerns! They set watchmen to guard their houses, and sentinels to warn of the enemies’ approach, but where the everlasting happiness or misery of the soul is at stake, they are offended if ministers obey their Master’s command, and give a faithful warning; they would rather perish, listening to smooth things.” 2

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Not everyone desires to hear,”What thus saith the Lord.” Not everyone believes in God, Jesus, and the saving grace of the cross. Not everyone will embrace the teachings of the Holy Bible, nor heed the warnings of eternal loss. Before the flood in Genesis chapter 7, Noah was probably mocked and thought to be a lunatic while he built the Ark on dry land. The people were warned to change their ways, but they would not heed the warnings, until the flood came – it was too late.

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While the Ark was being built, God was exercising patience. (1 Peter 3:20)

“Then the LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great on the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.” (Genesis 6:5)

But God was patient.

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There were scoffers in Noah’s day, and we live among them in our present society. Unbelievers will be with us until the end of time. We should pity them, and try to reach out to them. If they refuse the true message of the Bible, then we must move on to those who are hungry for the Word. No one “deserves to die.” At the same time, it is the choices that people make in this life that will bring about spiritual death, and possibly physical death (AIDS, drug overdose, etc.)

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“But if you on your part warn a wicked man to turn from his way and he does not turn from his way, he will die in his iniquity, but you have delivered your life. (Ezekiel 33:9)

“So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience;” (Colossians 3:12)

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Telling those in error that they are “going to hell,” or they “deserve to die” is not the place of man.

“For the Son of Man is going to come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and WILL THEN REPAY EVERY MAN ACCORDING TO HIS DEEDS.” (Matthew 6:27)

“Whoever does not receive you, nor heed your words, as you go out of that house or that city, shake the dust off your feet.”  (Matthew 10:14)

That’s all you can do – really.

Long’s anti-gay sermon – click link below

http://bossip.com/291659/bishop-eddie-long-highlights-from-his-most-anti-gay-sermons-video69691/

1http://www.signorile.com/2010/09/bishop-eddie-long-gays-deserve-death.html

2 http://bible.cc/ezekiel/33-6.htm

http://spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org/

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Posted by on October 4, 2010 in Uncategorized

 

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