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MOVIES ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND ABUSE

By Terry Loving

“And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power,

and the glory, for ever. Amen”. (Matthew 6:13)

hotlineOctober is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Another foundation that shares the month of October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month – both causes are equally important.

The first awareness month was in Oct. 1987, which is the same year the national toll-free hotline began. The month was created out of the first Day of Unity observed in Oct. 1981 by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. The Day of Unity grew into a week of activities to spread awareness of domestic violence.

This year (2014), I will be listing movies about abuse and domestic violence. Please be mindful that this is Hollywood, and many of the movies will be rated “R”. Even so, there are many truths that are spoken and displayed throughout many of the movies.

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SLING BLADE

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“25 Years after committing an unthinkable crime, a quiet man named Karl (Thornton) finally returns home. Once there, he’s befriended by a fatherless boy and his mother. But when his new-found peace is shattered by the mother’s abusive boyfriend, Karl is suddenly placed on a collision course with his past!”

This movie possibly answers many questions concerning abused women such as, “Why does she stay?” “Why won’t she leave?” Linda is a woman like many others who stay for the “good times.” Known as the “honeymoon stage,” this is a period of calm and false security in abusive relationships. On the other hand, Linda feels trapped by the threat of death if she leaves her boyfriend Doyle Hargraves. She convinces her traumatized son that it is best to “bide our time,” thus hoping for a day when it is safe to get away from Doyle. In addition, Linda is hoping that perhaps her abuser will tire of her and leave on his own. Unfortunately, that never happened as Doyle dug his heels in deeper by pledging to move in with Linda and her son and be the “head” of the household.

Linda’s son Frank Wheatley – “I ain’t never gonna be happy now!”

Karl Childers – “You will be happy.”

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THE UNSPOKEN TRUTH

The Unspoken Truth

 “Made for television, The Unspoken Truth is the factual story of Brianne Hawkins (Lea Thompson), who after enduring a lifetime of abuse at the hands of her family marries the even more abusive Clay Hawkins (James Marshall). Given to beating his wife at the slightest provocation, Clay finally goes completely over the edge when he shoots and kills a man who had the temerity to speak to Brianne without Clay’s permission. Thinking quickly for a change, Clay persuades Brianne to take the rap for the killing, whereupon she complicity (if not willingly) concocts an elaborate story as to how she shot the man accidentally. Not only do the authorities refuse to swallow this fabrication, but they end up sending both Clay and Brianne to prison for life! Only when the future of her daughter, Lily (Karis Paige Bryant), is jeopardized does the long-suffering Brianne finally work up the courage to fight for her freedom and her long-denied fundamental rights as a human being. A shocking mid-film revelation elevates this story from the usual battered-wife TV-movie syndrome. Filmed on location in Austin, TX, The Unspoken Truth originally aired September 24, 1995, on NBC. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi”

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THE COLOR PURPLE

The Color Purple

“Based on the Pulitzer Prize-winning novel by Alice Walker, The Color Purple spans the years 1909 to 1949, relating the life of Celie (Whoopi Goldberg), a Southern black woman virtually sold into a life of servitude to her brutal husband, sharecropper Albert (Danny Glover). Celie pours out her innermost thoughts in letter form to her sister Nettie (Akousa Busia), but Albert has been hiding the letters Nettie writes back, allowing Celie to assume that Nettie is dead. Finally, Celie finds a champion in the don’t-take-no-guff Sofia (Oprah Winfrey), the wife of Glover’s son from a previous marriage. Alas, Sofia is “humbled” when she is beaten into submission by angry whites. Later, Celie is able to forge a strong friendship with Albert’s mistress Shug (Margaret Avery). Emboldened by this, Celie begins rifling through her husband’s belongings and finds Nettie’s letters. Able at last to stand up to her husband, Celie leaves him to search for a new life on her own. A major box-office hit, The Color Purple was nominated for eleven Oscars. The film was co-produced by Quincy Jones, who also wrote the score. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi”

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WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?

Whats Love Got To Do With It

“What’s Love Got to Do With It? is the filmed biography of R&B/pop singer Tina Turner (Angela Bassett), documenting her efforts to break away from her abusive husband Ike (Laurence Fishburne). After a few scenes detailing Tina’s life as a young singer in Nutbush, TN, she’s discovered by Ike Turner, an already established songwriter, guitarist, and record producer. Ike takes Tina under his wing and makes her a star, but her fame makes him jealous and abusive, and she has to struggle to break free of his domination. ~ Stephen Thomas Erlewine, Rovi”

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THE ABDUCTION

The Abduction

“While their marriage may have started off happily, Kate now finds that her police officer husband Paul has grown more unstable and abusive with each passing year. At long last, she leaves him and tries to start a new life for herself. Paul, however, has become obsessed with the thought of getting Kate back, and starts stalking her. Matters come to a head when he takes her hostage and threatens to kill her. Will she get out of this alive, or will it end in tragedy?”

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THE BURNING BED

The Burning Bed

“An abused battered wife has had enough of husband beating up on her. Everywhere she turns for help, there’s not much anyone will do. After he rapes her one night, she sets the bed on fire with him in it asleep.”

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TAKE MY EYES

Take my eyes

“Spanish actress/author/filmmaker Icíar Bollaín writes and directs the family drama Te Doy Mis Ojos (Take My Eyes), co-written by Alicia Luna. Pilar (Laia Marull) leaves her abusive husband, Antonio (Luis Tosar), during the middle of winter in Toledo, Spain. She and her son, Juan (Nicolás Fernández Luna), go to live with her sister Ana (Candela Peña). While supportive, Ana doesn’t fully understand Pilar’s situation. Pilar’s mother, Aurora (Rosa María Sardà), refuses to acknowledge the problem. Antonio is desperate to win back Pilar. He sends her constant presents and even attends therapy sessions in order to work through his anger. Meanwhile, Pilar gets a job at an art museum and tries to restart her life. Take My Eyes won several awards at the San Sebastian Film Festival before making its U.S. premiere at the Sundance Film Festival in 2004. ~ Andrea LeVasseur, Rovi”

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A Cry for Help The Tracey Thurman Story

A cry for help

“Tracy Thurman was married to a man who abused her. But he continues to harass her after she gets a restraining order, and the police do little to help. When he brutally beats her and slashes her throat in front of police, she sues the city and the police department for failing to protect her.”

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PROVOKED: A TRUE STORY

Provoked

“It’s the true story of a Punjabi woman named Kiranjit Ahluwalia who leaves India to marry a London-based guy, only to be badly abused. She ends up in prison for murdering her abusive husband.”

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MEN DON’T TELL (1993)

Men_Don't_Tell_1993_Film_Advert_CBS

“This movie shows another side to spousal abuse that not too many people thought is possible–the husband being abused and the wife the abuser.”

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BLACK and BLUE

Black and blue

“After a woman’s husband beats and abuses her, she and her son join the witness protection program and move away secretly.”

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UNFORGIVABLE 1996

Unforgivable 1996

“John Ritter plays a family man who puts his wife through domestic violence and his children through emotional torture. After leaving his family and almost killing his new girlfriend in one of his rages, he is ordered to seek professional help through an innovative therapy program or go to jail.”

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Cries Unheard: The Donna Yaklich Story (1994)

Cries Unheard The Donna Yaklich Story 1994

“Donna Yaklich meets Dennis the policeman and thinks she might have found a good relationship. But Dennis is obsessed with weight-lifting and uses steroids, which make him aggressive and abusive. Getting out of the relationship isn’t easy as Dennis isn’t willing to let her go, and Donna’s options are narrowed down to one remaining alternative.”

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SHATTERED DREAMS

Shattered Dreams

“Charlotte marries John. Things seem ok; John has a good job and he’s going up in the world, working for the government. But every so often he loses his temper and Charlotte gets the brunt of his anger. During the 18 year course of their marriage, there are at least 8 incidents of physical abuse and countless of mental. Charlotte’s family and friends tell her to leave John but she keeps going back, most likely because he has convinced her that she would be nothing without him. It finally explodes in a big divorce battle balancing on the cases of abuse.”

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LIES OF THE HEART

Lies of the heart“This is the fact-based made-for-TV movie of Laurie Kellog, who was accused of the murder of her husband Bruce in May 1992, told in flashbacks while she’s waiting for her judgment. When she was 16 she met the 15 years older Bruce Kellog, a charming guy, and moved in with him shortly after. What she didn’t know was that he “bought” her from her stepfather for 500 bucks. First she’s happy to serve him, but not long and Bruce shows his real face.”

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DANGEROUS INTENTIONS

Dangerous Intentions

“A man stalks his wife and child when they leave for an abused women’s shelter.”

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SLEEPING with the DEVIL

sleeping_with_the_devil-1370357961

“Professional nurse Rebecca Dubrovich (Shannen Doherty) is swept off her feet by charming millionaire Dick Strang (Tim Matheson), and the two begin a passionate romance. Only when it is too late does Rebecca discover that Strang has, to put it mildly, a dark side: He’s a bigamist, a control freak, a pathological liar, and a vicious sadist. Breaking off the relationship, Rebecca is subsequently stalked by the obsessive Strang, who ultimately injures her so severely that she is confined to a wheelchair. During her painful recovery period, Rebecca falls in love with orthopedic surgeon Jerrold Petrofsky (David Bowe), and ultimately dedicates her life to helping other victims of abusive relationships. Based on a true story previously dramatized on the television anthology Unsolved Mysteries and then released in book form, the made-for-TV Sleeping with the Devil originally aired April 22, 1997 on CBS. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi”

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ENOUGH

ENOUGH“Working class waitress Slim finds her life transformed when she marries wealthy contractor Mitch. She settles into an idyllic suburban life and seems to have everything she wants: loving husband, beautiful home, and Gracie, an adorable 5-year-old daughter. Her dream is shattered when she discovers her husband is anything but perfect. His abusive behavior forces her to go on the run, eluding an increasingly obsessive Mitch and his lethal henchmen. When, despite Slim’s efforts to make a new life, Mitch finds her and threatens her again, she puts Gracie in safe keeping, toughens herself mentally and physically and sets out to prove to Mitch she’s had enough.”

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FAMILY of STRANGERS

FAMILY OF STRANGERS

“Julie must disclose her family’s medical history before undergoing major surgery, but when she questions her family, she discovers that she was adopted and later, that her conception was the product of a rape.”

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NO ONE WOULD TELL

NO ONE WOULD TELL

“Shy sixteen-year-old Stacy Collins can’t believe that the most popular guy in school, an attractive athlete named Bobby Tennison, is interested in her. At first she is flattered by his constant attention, but then he becomes possessive and jealous-telling her who she can speak to and what she can wear. Threats escalate into violence when Bobby thinks Stacy has stepped out of line. Soon she is walking on egg shells and living in fear. Having seen the tell-tale bruises, Stacy’s best friend convinces her to break things off with Bobby-but in a moment of weakness, Stacy goes to meet him.”

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ONCE WERE WARRIORS

ONCE WERE WARRIORS

“A family descended from Maori warriors is bedeviled by a violent father and the societal problems of being treated as outcasts.”

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SIN by SILENCE

Sin_by_Silence_film_poster

“Inside the California Institution for Women, the first inmate initiated and led group in U.S. prison history, shatters the misconceptions of domestic violence.

Convicted Women Against Abuse (CWAA) was created in 1989 to help women inside prison break the silence about abuse and learn more about what they needed to do to help others stop the cycle of violence.

Instead of fighting a system that does not fully comprehend the complexities of abuse, the women of CWAA led an initiative to help educate the system. Through careful orchestration of letter writing campaigns, media coverage, and senate hearings a movement was born and laws for battered women were changed. And for the founder of CWAA, the flicker of hope begins to grow as her possible freedom, after 26 years in prison, lies moments away.”

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Bastard out of Carolina on AllMovie

BASTARD OUT OF CAROLINA

“Bastard out of Carolina was the first novel published by author Dorothy Allison. The book, which is semi-autobiographical in nature, is set in Allison’s hometown of Greenville, South Carolina. Narrated by Ruth Anne “Bone” Boatwright, the primary conflict occurs between Bone and her mother’s husband, Glen.

The novel examines the expectations of gender and mother–child relationships, and explores the roles of these characters in the future. Conditions of class, race, sexuality and gender play out in Bone’s life and her relationships with others.

The book was adapted into a film in 1996.”

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Site that lists pages of movies with domestic abuse themes.
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Let us continue to pray for those who suffer the evil of domestic violence and abuse, and assist when and where we can.
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http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2014
All rights reserved.

 
1 Comment

Posted by on October 3, 2014 in Domestic Violence Awareness

 

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DO ABUSERS HAVE A CONSCIENCE?

By Terry Loving

The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith. Timothy 1:5

A CRY FOR JUSTICE BOOK

“And herein do I exercise myself – And this very tenet is a pledge for my good behavior; for as I believe there will be a resurrection, both of the just and unjust, and that every man shall be judged for the deeds done in the body, so I exercise myself day and night, that I may have a conscience void of offense toward God and toward men.

Toward God – In entertaining no opinion contrary to his truth; and in offering no worship contrary to his dignity, purity, and excellence.

Toward men – In doing nothing to them that I would not, on a change of circumstances, they should do to me; and in withholding nothing by which I might comfort and serve them.” 1

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“Abusive people have dysfunctional or even non-functioning consciences. In contrast, their victims have very active consciences. And the abuser uses this to his advantage. He can, without any hesitation or remorse, insinuate a horrid charge against her, making her feel the pangs of her own conscience, and causing her to wonder if she really is guilty.” 2

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Most have heard the saying, “Let your conscience be your guide.” When making decisions in life, “normal” thinking people rely on their inner voice to decide what actions they should take. Depending upon the level of maturity, a person with high morals, integrity, ethics and the like will usually make decisions they can live with. In other words, the choices they make in life would be those that do not keep them awake at night torturing their minds with guilt. After making their final decision they are able to live with themselves knowing they made the right choice – no harm done.

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1 John 3:21
“Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God.”

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The abuser’s decision-making process is much different. Their decisions are not based upon what is right, just, fair, moral, ethical, nor do they consider the feelings of others. Life is all about the abuser and their comfort and well-being. It is within the avenues of power and control as well as entitlement that the abuser establishes a domain of terror. He feels justified.

depression1

The word conscience is defined as:

[kon-shuhns] Show IPA

noun

1. the inner sense of what is right or wrong in one’s conduct or motives, impelling one toward right action: to follow the dictates of conscience.

2. the complex of ethical and moral principles that controls or inhibits the actions or thoughts of an individual.

3. an inhibiting sense of what is prudent: I’d eat another piece of pie but my conscience would bother me. 3

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Pastor Jeff Crippen beautifully explains in his book – A CRY FOR JUSTICE how we assume that abusers must be “weighed down” by their horrid actions toward others. Normally, non-abusive souls would agonize over wrongs committed towards others, and seek to make amends. Because we would feel bad inside, we naturally think that others would feel the same – not so with abusers. In fact, Jeff explains how abusers use our assumptions against us as they play the “victim.” The abuser’s deeds do not weigh heavy upon them, for they are functioning in what they perceive as a normal way of life. They are oblivious to the real pain they cause others because they do not care – life is all about the abuser – no one else – not even God.

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abused woman

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In the absence of a “healthy” conscience, abusers can beat the daylights out of their victims, and minutes later take the family out for an ice cream cone. His family, especially his spouse is his personal property to do with them as he sees fit. The beatings or verbal put downs in his mind are his God-given right to keep his family in line. After all, God made him the head, and all beneath him must submit or face dire consequences. Is there any remorse for the abuse? Never! Entitlement and false justification do not produce such emotions.

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Abusers lack empathy which is why they can bloody your face and throw you a towel in disgust – “Clean yourself up, you are a mess!” Your bloody wounds are only an issue when you no longer look “pretty.” After all, he is the only man that is allowed to look at you. They will never admit fault for your pain, because you – according to them – “Brought it on yourself!” Abusers are very capable of fake empathy, especially when the abused threatens to leave them. The false tears only serve to melt the heart of the abused, and the cycle of torture will repeat itself. This is how the crazy making stage begins.

obey fist

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Abusers who claim to be Christians pretend holiness, and yet – they have no conscience – not in the sense of what we define as “normal.” 1Timothy 4:2 speaks of “hypocrites” and “liars” that have a conscience that has been “seared with a hot iron.” Verses 1-5 gives us a clear picture of the spiritual apostasy that shall take place in these “latter days” – the Christian age. According to various views of Bible commentaries, a conscience “seared with a hot iron” can also be applied to the conscience of abusers, especially those who call themselves Christians.

woman hit man with shoe

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Can we not safely say that abusers in our places of worship have “departed from the faith?” The foundation of the “faith” that Jesus ministered is based on love. It is not possible that abusers are following Christ, but their own hypocritical self-imposed doctrine of hate. They are incapable of the agape love that we should have for one another. Agape love possesses compassion for the plight of others as well as; empathy; true love; it is selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love that abusers do not possess.

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“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” John 3:16

“He that loves not knows not God; for God is love.” 1 John 4:8

“A new commandment I give to you, That you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.”  John 13:34-35

“Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.”  1 Corinthians 13:1-13

The consciences of abusers are senseless and unfeeling as flesh that has been cauterized. “The sensitiveness of their consciences is destroyed by the brand of the devil.”  People’s New Testament

domestic-abuse

“The metaphor is from the practice of branding slaves or criminals, the latter on the brow. These deceivers are not acting under delusion, but deliberately, and against their conscience. They wear the form of godliness, and contradict their profession by their crooked conduct (2 Timothy 3:5). The brand is not on their brow, but on their conscience. Comp.” Titus 1:15; Titus 3:11Vincent’s Word Studies

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“To the pure, all things are pure; but to those who are defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure, but both their mind and their conscience are defiled.” (Titus 1:15)

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Jeff also notes a “degree of abuse” that ranges from “remarkably selfish” to “narcissistic,” “sociopaths” to “psychopaths.” When abusers reach the sociopath or psychopath levels, many people view the abusers as having no conscience at all. However, Pastor Crippen maintains that abusers do have a conscience, but they are “dysfunctional.” They possess not the normal means of inner conviction which keeps our passions for wrong in check.

When the searing of the conscience takes place, no one can say for sure. What we can know is the fact that abusers “speak lies in hypocrisy,” they are senseless, and unfeeling:

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 “Such a conscience exists in a mind that will practice delusion without concern; that will carry on a vast system of fraud without wincing; that will incarcerate, scourge, or burn the innocent without compassion; and that will practice gross enormities, and indulge in sensual gratifications under the mask of piety.”  Barnes’ Notes on the Bible

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the_sociopath_next_door_martha_stout_unabridged_mp3_compact_disc

The Sociopath Next Door

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I highly recommend A CRY FOR JUSTICE for many reasons. It opened my eyes to a darker side of abusers, and their cunning ways. This book took my understanding of abuse much deeper, and I could feel the essence of evil more acutely as I read each page. It is a must read for those who desire to counsel the abused, and for church leaders who need to educate themselves concerning this atrocity that is hidden within our houses of worship. In addition, I also recommend this book for self-study as well as group Bible study.

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The main reason I applaud this work is the fact that Pastor Crippen isn’t afraid to “call a spade a spade.” He says what needs to be said, and isn’t concerned as many other pastors are about stepping on toes. There is no arrogance in his preaching  and teaching against domestic abuse, for he understands that the Christian church is under spiritual attack, and the people of God have been silent and ignorant for too long. The last place on earth we should witness abuse is in our houses of worship, and our Christian homes.

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It is important to understand the many faces of abusers and how they deceive us. Jeff also covers topics such as, “Why the Church Covers Up Abuse,” “Dealing With Abusers,” “The Abuser’s Use of Shame and Fear” and much more. He also covers “The Devastating Effects of Abuse on Children.” Personally, I am one who is suffering, and will most likely continue to suffer those “devastating effects.” They are very real!

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Pastor Crippen and Anna Wood – THANK YOU!

http://cryingoutforjustice.wordpress.com/

A Cry for Justice: How the Evil of Domestic Abuse Hides in Your Church

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Conscience (36 Occurrences)

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http://www.sociopathworld.com/

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Profile of the Sociopath

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Charmer/ Abusers and their ‘Prey’

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   An Interview with Martha Stout

How do you spot a sociopath?

“A sociopath has no conscience, no ability to feel shame, guilt or remorse. Since 1 in 25 ordinary Americans is a sociopath, you almost certainly know one or more than one already. How can you recognize him or her?”

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Potentially Abusive Personalities: Some Red Flags – by Dr. George Simon, Jr.

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 1 Clarke’s Commentary on the Bible

2 A CRY FOR JUSTICE – The Abuser’s Use of Shame and Fear – 89

 3 Chicago Manual Style (CMS):conscience. Dictionary.com. Dictionary.com Unabridged. Random House, Inc. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/conscience (accessed: April 14, 2013).

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http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009-2013
All rights reserved.

 
15 Comments

Posted by on April 14, 2013 in Sociopaths And Psycopaths

 

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GOD LOVES WOMEN? YOU CAN BET ON IT!

By Terry Loving

Crown of Indian women

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.”

 (A relationship with God and eternal life is offered to “whoever” – male and female)

I received an email from someone named “J” – and I promised to reply to their inquiry. With their permission, my reply is this post, for there are many – especially women – who may feel the same way “J” does. Below is the unedited email:

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“Comment: the woman in India has died, i read last night. she was gang raped. it is modern day Judges 19. where does God say He loves women, where does God say He hates the sin of a guy using God given strength to over power & beat & rape a woman to death like in Judges 19. He didn’t give women strength , He made them a target for pain & suffering. i need to know where He says its wrong to hurt women.”

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First of all, YES! – God loves women! His only begotten Son died for male and female – everyone. Also, God has given women more strength and courage than we utilize for our own sakes. Sorry, I do not agree with, “He made them a target for pain & suffering.” I understand your anger over the rape and death of that precious Indian woman. The whole world should be outraged. However, God did not rape or murder her – those who were influenced by evil – harbor evil within their hearts – take pleasure in doing evil took her innocence and her life.

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New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”

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Jesus-Christ-Samaritan-Well-mormon

Although a horrible rape resulted in death in Judges 19 as well, I find that many people do not dig deeper into the story to find the ultimate truth.  When tragedy strikes, too often we blame God for the happening, and quickly assume – in the case of Judges 19 for instance – that God favors men, and does not place a premium on women. Please understand that everything that man did in the Bible was not always justified in the sight of God, nor was everything permitted by God. Too often, assumptions are made to justify the doings of man. There are many examples in the Bible where men made decisions they erroneously believed would bring them favor with God, but ultimately – God was displeased.

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New American Standard Bible (©1995)

“Behold, I have found only this, that God made men upright, but they have sought out many devices.”   (devices = schemes, follow their own downward path, seek many alternatives, sought many inventions, looked for many ways [to avoid being decent]) –      http://bible.cc/ecclesiastes/7-29.htm

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BACKGROUND INFORMATION

The Levites spoken of in Judges 19 and Judges 17: 7-13 were viewed as men close to God, for they served in the Temple of God.

“Originally, firstborn sons were designated to be the holy tribe, the ones who would serve in the Tabernacle and the Temples, and be the spiritual leaders of our nation; G-d having “acquired” them when He spared them during the Plague of the Firstborn in Egypt. When the Tribe of Levi proved their mettle during the debacle of the Golden Calf, G-d removed the privilege of priesthood from the firstborns and instead sanctified the entire tribe of Levi.

Moses blessed the tribe of Levi, saying, “They shall teach Your ordinances to Jacob, and Your Torah to Israel.” Aside for their Temple duties, the tribe served as the rabbis and teachers of their Israelite brethren.” 1

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samaritanwoman

“Michah” in Judges 17: 7-13

Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary

“17:7-13 Micah thought it was a sign of God’s favour to him and his images, that a Levite should come to his door. Thus those who please themselves with their own delusions, if Providence unexpectedly bring any thing to their hands that further them in their evil way, are apt from thence to think that God is pleased with them.”

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Jewish custom places a high premium on hospitality.

In Rabbinical Literature:

“Among the ethical teachings of the Rabbis, the duties of hospitality occupy a very prominent position. Some regard hospitality more highly than the reception given to the Shekinah (Divine Presence); others make it superior to visiting the house of study; others, again, consider it as one of the six meritorious deeds whose reward is like a tree, the fruit of which man enjoys in this world, while the trunk remains for his enjoyment in the world to come (Shab. 127a). Special emphasis was laid upon the hospitality due to a scholar, so that it was said that one who shows hospitality to a student of the Law is regarded as if he had offered the daily sacrifice (Ber. 10b, 63b, id. 76b; Gen. R. lviii. 12).”

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The old man in Judges 19 perhaps felt that he had two situations to defend, a Levite and one to whom he extended the hand of hospitality. In this case, it isn’t God Himself who is making the distinction, but man. Rather than suffer perceived consequences for allowing a son of the priesthood line and his guest be overtaken by evil men, the owner addressed the crowd in this manner:

23The owner of the house went outside and said to them, “No, my friends, don’t be so vile. Since this man is my guest, don’t do this disgraceful thing. 24Look, here is my virgin daughter, and his concubine. I will bring them out to you now, and you can use them and do to them whatever you wish. But to this man, don’t do such a disgraceful thing.”

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beautiful_feet-5

Again, this wasn’t a decision made by God, but by the man of the house and the Levite.

In the same way, Lot offered his daughter’s instead of the two angels:

1The two angels arrived at Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gateway of the city. When he saw them, he got up to meet them and bowed down with his face to the ground. 2“My lords,” he said, “please turn aside to your servant’s house. You can wash your feet and spend the night and then go on your way early in the morning.”

Lot also made the decision to offer up his daughter’s to evil men desiring to have sex with the angels.

Clarke’s Commentary on the Bible

“Here is my daughter, a maiden – Such a proposal was made by Lot to the men of Sodom, Genesis 19:8, but nothing can excuse either. That the rights of hospitality were sacred in the East, and most highly regarded we know; and that a man would defend, at the expense of his life, the stranger whom he had admitted under his roof, is true; but how a father could make such a proposal relative to his virgin daughter, must remain among those things which are incomprehensible.”

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Gill’s Exposition of the Entire Bible

...”let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes; this was a very great evil in Lot to make such an offer of his daughters; it was contrary to parental love and affection, an exposing the chastity of his daughters, which should have been his care to preserve; nor had he a power to dispose of them in such a manner: and though fornication is a lesser evil than sodomy, yet all evil is to be avoided, and even it is not to be done that good may come: nothing can be said to excuse this good man, but the hurry of spirit, and confusion of mind that he was in, not knowing what to say or do to prevent the base designs of those men; that he might be pretty certain they would not accept of his offer, their lust burning more after men than women; that this showed his great regard to the laws of hospitality, that he had rather sacrifice his daughters to their brutal lusts, than give up the men that were in his house to them; and that he might hope that this would soften their minds, and put them off of any further attempt; but after all it must be condemned as a dangerous and imprudent action:…”

 

Movie - One Night With The King - Queen Esther

Movie – One Night With The King – Queen Esther

Neither of these situations suggests that God Himself commanded the old man, the Levite, or Lot make such sacrifices. But one thing should be noted in both scenarios, the perpetrators were eventually destroyed.  The rape and murder of the concubine in Judges 19 triggered a civil war. The rapists were of the tribe of Benjamin, and the elders refused to give them up to justice when commanded by the other Jewish tribes.

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Prior to the general assembly of the tribes of  Israel, the husband of the concubine cut her body into twelve pieces, representing the twelve tribes of Israel – and sent them each a visual impact of the horror that had taken place.:

29When he reached home, he took a knife and cut up his concubine, limb by limb, into twelve parts and sent them into all the areas of Israel. 30Everyone who saw it said, “Such a thing has never been seen or done, not since the day the Israelites came up out of Egypt. Think about it! Consider it! Tell us what to do!”

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In those days, Israel had no king, or magistrates to consider and punish this crime. Therefore, it was up to the people to decide what punishment the men of Gibeah should face – the death penalty was decided. The tribes of Benjamin refused to deliver up the malefactors of Gibeah to justice. The tribe of Benjamin took a stand against the united force of all Israel, fought against justice, and consequently against the just God Himself.

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In Judges Chapter 20, you can read about the civil war which the rape and murder spurred. The Israelites obtained over the Benjamites in the third engagement. The first two times they went to battle they did not consult God, but assumed that their cause was righteous enough that God was automatically on their side – they depended upon themselves too much – assumption can be defeating.

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After the war, there was a remnant of Benjamites, 600 men who took shelter in the rock of Rimmon for four months. The perpetrators were killed in the battle, and God gave the victory to the tribes that fought for justice and punishment of the evil men who raped and murdered to satisfy their evil lusts.

Jude 1:7

 “In a similar way, Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding towns gave themselves up to sexual immorality and perversion. They serve as an example of those who suffer the punishment of eternal fire.”

When we do not “rightly divide” the Word of God, we often blame God unjustly. On the surface, the rape of the concubine may seem that God favors men over women, but this is not true. Not only did God stand for justice, He loved this woman enough to avenge the wrong she suffered. How many civil wars in our modern living were fought over rape, domestic violence, and injustice period? Today, we have the judicial system that Israel did not have; therefore, we have access to justice and retribution through our laws. Most importantly, God is a God of justice – He will avenge all wrong.

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women at tomb

“where does God say He loves women, where does God say He hates the sin of a guy using God given strength to over power & beat & rape a woman to death like in Judges 19.”

I believe I have shown through this example how much this woman was loved, and how justice was served.

“He didn’t give women strength , He made them a target for pain & suffering. i need to know where He says its wrong to hurt women.”

We live in a fallen world, and we should not blame evil doings on God. Too often we get angry with God when a loved one dies, or is taken from us tragically. Humans want it all – free will, a God hands-off policy, and a Divine puppet. We do not want God telling us what to do, and yet, we want Him to be there when something happens to visually and instantly satisfy our need for justice and revenge. One woman stated to me a while ago, “God has some explaining to do!” She was barren and angry that God did not see fit to bless her womb. News flash, God does not owe us any explanation at all:

Isaiah 45:9 “Woe to him who quarrels with his Maker, to him who is but a potsherd among the potsherds on the ground. Does the clay say to the potter, ‘What are you making?’ Does your work say, ‘He has no hands’?

Romans 9:20 “But who are you, O man, to talk back to God? “Shall what is formed say to him who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’”

Isaiah 64:8 “Yet, O LORD, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.”

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woman_touching_jesus

“He made them a target for pain & suffering. i need to know where He says its wrong to hurt women.”

Throughout the Bible you can read where God hates injustice and wrongdoing. To say that God made women “a target for pain & suffering” is unjust. It is Satan who hates women, and all mankind. Our world is experiencing spiritual warfare like no other time in history, and yet – God gets the blame for all the bad things done in this world. We fail to acknowledge that evil exists and the fact that humanity has a spiritual enemy:

Revelation 12:9

“The great dragon was hurled down–that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him.”

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“For this reason, rejoice, O heavens and you who dwell in them. Woe to the earth and the sea, because the devil has come down to you, having great wrath, knowing that he has only a short time.”

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”

Job 1:7 “The LORD said to Satan, “Where have you come from?” Satan answered the LORD, “From roaming through the earth and going back and forth in it.”

“Your adversary the devil – This is the reason why ye should be sober and vigilant; ye have an ever active, implacable, subtle enemy to contend with. He walketh about – he has access to you everywhere; he knows your feelings and your propensities, and informs himself of all your circumstances; only God can know more and do more than he, therefore your care must be cast upon God.”      Clarke’s Commentary on the Bible

As a roaring lion – Satan tempts under three forms:

1. The subtle serpent; to beguile our senses, pervert our judgment, and enchant our imagination.

2. As an angel of light; to deceive us with false views of spiritual things, refinements in religion, and presumption on the providence and grace of God.

3. As a roaring lion; to bear us down, and destroy us by violent opposition, persecution, and death. Thus he was acting towards the followers of God at Pontus, etc., who were now suffering a grievous persecution.

Satan is an enemy to mankind in general, but more especially to the seed of the woman, to Christ personal, and to Christ mystical, to all the elect of God:

The devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour. He goeth about as the lion, seeking for prey. The lion while hunting only roars when it springs. So the devil is stealthy and does not give warning of his approach.

Evil is not of God!

satan cast out

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Question: Does God love women?

“Answer: This is an interesting question, but it certainly has a Scriptural answer. First let me remind you that it says in Genesis: “So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” (Genesis 1:27) In other words it takes both the attributes of the woman and the man to see what God is like, since both are half of the picture (image) of God.” (Read more)

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“I believe one reason Jesus may have appeared to the women first after He had arisen from the dead is because He loved them, but also because of their courage under fire that the male disciples did not show when He died on the cross. All the rest of the males had run away except for John. Mary, Jesus’ mother, and other women were at the cross when Jesus died.” (Read more)

“Who did Jesus stop to talk to on His way to Golgotha, was it not the women?” (Read more)

“Why else would these women have been so loyal to Jesus except that He had had a godly love for them! Who is Jesus? He is God in the flesh, what He was like is exactly what God the Father is like! Does He love women? certainly He does! (Read more)

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God loves wives so much that He stops listening to the prayers of their husbands if they mistreat their wives – that’s HUGE!

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.”

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In conclusion “J”, please read posts from this site and you will find many scriptures that speak to God’s displeasure of mistreating women, and one another period.

It is my hope that you have been enlightened, and that the Holy Spirit will touch your heart with truth. It is man that twisted the scriptures to paint our God and Savior as members of the earthly “good ole boys network.” That is the work of Satan.

Thank you for allowing me under the direction of the Holy Spirit to answer your inquiry. May God bless you with His everlasting Peace.

Peace be unto you.

Terry

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“God does not make bad things happen, but religion most certainly can. Since the first words were written in the Bible, men have twisted it to justify their own beliefs, prejudices, and even their own dark desires. That truth is proven even more so in this film.”  (Review quote)

follow the prophet

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1 http://www.askmoses.com/en/article/261,2081262/What-is-a-Levite.html

http://spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009-2012
All rights reserved.

 
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Posted by on January 5, 2013 in SATANIC INFLUENCE

 

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“FORGIVE AND FORGET” – IS IT POSSIBLE?

By Terry Loving

“It hurts too much to forgive.”

Years ago, I taught a ladies Bible class on the subject of “forgiveness.” The most memorable moment of that day was the objection by the Minister’s wife. I made this statement, “When you forgive someone, it doesn’t mean that you have to interact with them.” She did not agree. In fact, the Minister’s wife said, “If we do not fellowship with or be around the person we forgave, then that means that we have not truly forgiven them. Well, of course I had to defend my position, and I still stand by it today.

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There are many misconceptions concerning forgiveness, and to “forgive and forget” is one of them. Unless you are brain dead, physically dead, or have the ability to wipe out your memory completely – you will most likely remember some painful event, especially when sinned against as a child. As an adult, you may have forgiven your uncle for molesting you when you were seven-years old, but you will never forget the happening.  Your growing up was “interrupted,” and you are left with confusion, pain, anger, memories, hurt – a lot of feelings that you are unable to process without professional help. Even then, you may never get over being molested – you were betrayed by someone you trusted. The feelings about yourself will most likely be those of inferiority, and you may struggle with self-esteem and self-acceptance.

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Your uncle may have your forgiveness, but he has lost your trust. As an adult, you are always uncomfortable around him, and you vow to never leave your children alone with him – ever! Does this mean that you have not truly forgiven him? – Not at all. The precautions mean that he is a child-molester and not to be trusted. Child molesters rarely change, if ever. Forgiveness does not equal blind trust. It does not erase the past, nor should everyone pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Domestic abusers often beg for forgiveness, and many times they are forgiven – over, and over again. When the abused cannot take the abuse anymore and leave the relationship, the abuser accuses them of being unforgiving. The real truth is the abusers have not truly repented! If the abuser truly repents, and the relationship isn’t beyond repair, then the forgiveness should allow for healing with counseling and whatever else it would take to make the relationship whole. Unfortunately, most abusers are not sincere with their fake apologies and tears. If they were truly sorrowful, the “honeymoon stage” would not exist.

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 While writing this post, it is difficult not to include some of my own life’s story. When I was a “busy” person, there wasn’t much time to reflect on my past. My first time being laid off from work is when God revealed things to me, and I began a journey of inner reflection. Many people stay “busy” to keep from thinking and feeling, but we do ourselves an injustice especially when there are life issues we should address. In my case, I did not realize that I was covering up pain with work, school, relationships, worship, friends, hobby’s, etc. I thought I was living, but I was missing key information that kept my soul angered. Solitude is a necessary journey.

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As far as abuse goes, I take some responsibility for those relationships that went wrong. The violence and mistreatment were the sole responsibility of the abusers; my part was ignorance concerning red flags. I never thought that I would need to educate myself about domestic violence, for I saw the madness that happened to my mother and her friends as being “their issue.” I knew what to look for after the fact, but not before allowing myself to get involved with an abusive man.

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I can forgive my abusers, especially now that they are deceased, (not by my hands). When they were alive, I just stayed away from them, and decided that they were bad company and there was no need for friendships. I forgave, but chose to keep my distance. Did that mean I did not truly forgive them – not at all. Wrong-doing has consequences. I chose not to be bitter, but I never forgot what happened during those abusive moments. I chose to not listen to another, “I’m sorry.” Forgive and forget? – You never mentally forget.

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Is it possible that we find it difficult to forgive others because we think forgiving amounts to a pardon that erases their offense completely? Do we think that once forgiveness is extended their offense magically disappears as if it never happened? Is it possible that we withhold forgiveness because we still experience pain while we think our offenders will go free – live happy lives while we are miserable?  After all, why should we carry a burden we did not ask for? We were sinned against, so why should we pardon offenders when we were just children trying to grow up? Wives trying to be the best mates they could be to an abuser? Husbands who gave their all and still their wives hated and verbally abused them. Why should we forgive what we feel is unforgivable?

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Before I state reasons why we should forgive, I repeat – “You will never forget.” There will always be triggers, a movie – a comment – a song – painful experiences others share, etc. Something will always remind you of the traumatic experience(s) that you try to forget. You will remember them for they will make you a “different” person from the person you long to be. You will have inner struggles, emotionally and you will have highs and lows when it comes to happiness. This may not be the case for everyone, but it happens to most people. Abuse changes a person from the inside out.

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On a personal note, I find myself having to forgive my mother over and over again. Whenever I come to the conclusion that she was a wreck, I forgive her. Then again, as repressed memories surface, I am angry and appalled all over again. So I find myself on this crazy cycle of anger, forgive, remember, anger, forgive and it may always be this way. The most important thing is to not allow myself to become bitter. I will mention this again in a few.

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Why should we forgive? Because if we expect and hope for forgiveness of our own trespasses, we must forgive people of theirs:

14“For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15“But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions. (Matthew 6:14-15)

Geneva Study Bible

{4} For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:

(4) They that forgive wrongs, to them sins are forgiven, but revenge is prepared for them that take revenge.

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I interpret the “forgive and forget” concept this way. You will never mentally forget, but the forgetting should involve not holding a grudge to the point of seeking revenge. When offenses remain at the forefront of our thoughts, we cannot see our way clearly to release our pain into the Hands of a loving Father. Instead, we become bitter, angry with God, and unleash our pain onto those who are closest to us. We want blood!

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We become angry with God and discount the fact that we live in a fallen world, ruled by the god of this world. Yes, God saw what happened to you, to me, to everyone that was sinned against, and will be sinned against. Surely He will avenge:

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
For we know Him who said, “VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY.” And again, “THE LORD WILL JUDGE HIS PEOPLE.”

Deuteronomy 32:35 It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip; their day of disaster is near and their doom rushes upon them.”

Our responsibility is to forgive – release the pain, and trust that God will heal our wounds so that we can move on. We are admonished to not allow bitter roots to grow within our hearts.

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled;”

“Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret–it leads only to evil.” Psalm 37:8

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.”

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Wesley’s Notes

“4:31 Let all bitterness – The height of settled anger, opposite to kindness, ver.32. And wrath – Lasting displeasure toward the ignorant, and them that are out of the way, opposite to tenderheartedness. And anger – The very first risings of disgust at those that injure you, opposite to forgiving one another. And clamour – Or bawling. I am not angry, says one; but it is my way to speak so. Then unlearn that way: it is the way to hell. And evil speaking – Be it in ever so mild and soft a tone, or with ever such professions of kindness. Here is a beautiful retrogradation, beginning with the highest, and descending to the lowest, degree of the want of love.”

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“Another man dies in bitterness of soul, never having enjoyed anything good.” Job 21:25

Forgiveness is for our own good, so that we can go on with our lives. Bitterness of soul robs us of the opportunity to begin our lives afresh, on our own terms. Those who sinned against us were unable to take away our free will. We still have the opportunity to choose – be healed, or continue to be angry which leads to bitterness. You will live, but “never having enjoyed anything good.”

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New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.” (to be moved, or to fall)

Forgiveness on our part is a releasing. Only God can truly forgive our transgressions:

“I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.” Isaiah 43:25

Again in Hebrews 8:12:

“For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more.”

“4. If people are ever pardoned, they must come to God – and to God alone. They must come, not to justify themselves, but to confess their crimes. And they must come with a willingness that God should pardon them on just such terms as he pleases; at just such a time as he pleases; and solely with a view to the promotion of his own glory. Unless they have this feeling, they never can be forgiven, nor should they be forgiven.”  Barnes’ Notes on the Bible

Not everyone will repent of wrong deeds. Because abusers move on with their lives without righting a wrong, they erroneously conclude that what was done is done, and no there is need to look back. However, a day of reckoning is coming:

“For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.” 2 Corinthians 5:10

Also, Matthew 12:36:

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment.”

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In conclusion, take back the essence of you, your power and sanity from your abuser(s). Spending time wondering if they will ever be punished is a waste of precious life. If we wallow in pity and anger, abusers win – and they still have power over our lives. I admonish myself when I feel like giving up that “I cannot let them win.” Besides, I don’t know how to give up, God has placed a gift and talents within my soul. I enjoy employing them, especially to help others. I can never figure out what I would do if I gave up anyway. I conclude that quitting life is not my destiny. God does not desire failure for your life as well.

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 My mother is deceased, so I cannot ask her, “Why?” Perhaps God in His infinite Wisdom waited until she died to reveal many things to me. On the one hand I am glad that I cannot confront her, for I would not want to dishonor God by dishonoring her, although my pain says she deserves it. So I press along, looking forward with hope, and walking with Hope. Some glad morning, a new day will dawn, and God shall wipe away my pain. Until then, God soothes my soul when I help others in His name.

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I have learned to detach from this world, and in many cases – not voluntarily. Therefore, I am at peace in spite of the memories that I wish to forget. Serving my Lord is more important to me than the things that happened in my life. My Father promised a reward, and that is what comforts me. I will never forget, but I forgive trespasses as I ask that God forgives mine.

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.

Peace be unto you.

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“For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what he has done.”  Matthew 16:27

King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.)

“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.”

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WILL GOD PUNISH MY ABUSER?

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Why Do Victims Start To Mirror Their Abuser’s Behavior?

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HE BEATS ME – BUT HE IS A GOOD MAN!

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http://spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

 

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Posted by on October 29, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

DOMESTIC ABUSE IN CHRISTIAN HOMES – Recommended Reading

By Terry Loving

Galatians 5:1 “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

My ex-husband/verbal abuser was a song leader in our church. He often used this platform to air out our business, and tried to make me look bad as a person in general. It is an awful feeling sitting on the front pew feeling eyes on the back of your neck, wishing that you could snap your fingers and just disappear. Mind you, the things said about me were not a true picture of my character, but an attack from someone who was supposed to be on the Lord’s side as I truly demonstrated.

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Even though my ex was not a preacher, somehow standing in the pulpit putting me down made him feel like a big man. In between announcing the next song to sing, he would wound me deeply in front of everyone that knew us. Fortunately, in the end when things at home got really bad – escalating to shoving – the leadership believed me, and helped me to move away from abuse. They provided me with a down payment on my own apartment after making sure that I was able to make it on my own. I assured them that this was possible, and I was determined to do so.

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After the whole truth came out about my ex and his abuse, the leadership rebuked him and he eventually left our church. I still attended – in peace – but not many abused Christian women are as fortunate as I was at the time. Author Susan Greenfield is one of the many women in our churches that know firsthand what it is like to lose her-self to abuse. When your abuser is in the pulpit preaching sermons that touch the souls of the congregants, it is very difficult to get them to believe that the same person is evil behind closed doors.

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No woman should suffer abuse, especially not by the hands of men who claim to follow Jesus Christ. Unfortunately, there are many who keep silent concerning domestic violence and abuse in fear of turning people away from serving God. Too many “Christians” prefer to keep up false appearances that all is well in the Kingdom of Christ when this is the exact opposite. Granted, what God has established through Jesus Christ remains constant and never changing. Every soul needs a Savior, a Guide, a Friend, and a Confidant, Someone who cares about them eternally. God never changes His love for us.

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Sadly, it is the mistaken souls in our churches that believe they have the right to treat others any way they so desire. God is the same yesterday, today, tomorrow and forever. It is mankind that gives Christianity a bad reputation, not God and His Word. Christianity should be a peaceful experience, not without challenges, but certainly there should be no mistreatment from fellow spiritual sojourners.

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Not only does Susan Greenfield share her raw experiences, she offers practical advice to those who assist the abused. Her book is a wonderful resource for those who speak out against domestic violence, and an eye opener for the abused. Even though this book is written by a Christian woman, non-Christian readers may find her experiences very helpful. Most of all, she offers her contact information at the end of the book.

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Susan has been beaten while pregnant, lived in a shelter, had church members turn against her; was tortured in her own home; in public; and tormented regularly by her “Christian” husband – who hid behind the pulpit of shame. I highly recommend this book as a guide, and reference to strengthen those who are seeking to leave abuse.

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Author Barbara Roberts is another Christian woman who knows the horrors of abuse. I am very happy that Susan and Barbara are speaking out to help others. Unfortunately, the subject of divorce comes up when abusive situations drive the abused to seek permanent solutions. I personally took this road, and I have no regrets.

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http://www.notunderbondage.com/

There are well-meaning church folk that advise the abused to “cook better,” “keep silent,” “don’t push buttons” and all kinds of useless counsel. The abused may be shamed into staying with her abuser so the church doesn’t look bad in the eyes of the world. What the abused need is sound Biblical advice, not unfounded emotional blackmail.

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There are many misconceptions concerning Christian marriage, divorce and remarriage. Barbara does an excellent job clarifying much of the confusion. There are many scripture references concerning this issue, and her research offers a fresh perspective that is worth exploring. When marriage breaks down due to abuse, it is difficult for Christians to make spiritually informed decisions without the right information.

“NOT UNDER BONDAGE” contains valuable information on topics such as:

“What is abuse?”

“If I’m the innocent party, why do I still feel guilty?”

“God hates divorce” – slogan or scripture?”

“May I remarry if I have suffered divorce?”

There is valuable information for those who counsel the abused, and to assist the abused to understand what the Bible has to say about divorce. Barbara did an excellent job with this subject, and I highly recommend this book for those who need this information.

Susan and Barbara, thank you!

Barbara, thank you for sharing these insightful resources.

May God bless your endeavors to bear fruit for His Kingdom.

Terry

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Why do Christian Husbands Abuse Their Wives? 

Part One (click here)

“God gave Adam and Eve–both of them–dominance over the animals not over each other (Genesis 1:28)”

“Clearly both Adam and Eve were created in the image of God. Together they reflected God’s image. In essence, male dominance teaches that males were created in the image of God and females were created in the image of man. There are no Biblical texts or teachings that support the idea that Eve was to be subordinated to Adam. Jesus told his disciples: “When you see me you see the father . . . I and my father are one.” This was to be the example of male/female relationship.”

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Why do Christian Husbands Abuse Their Wives?

Part Two (click here)

“We have learned that religious abuse, a form of emotional/psychological abuse, is a way many Christian Bahamian men abuse their partners. Religious abuse occurs when someone makes you feel that it is your Christian duty to stay in an abusive relationship. It is using texts out of context to perpetuate domestic abuse, to encourage a partner to be submissive to an abusive mate. It is also when a husband constantly reminds his wife about her “Christian duty” to be submissive and to respect him as the head of the house, and placing himself as “king of the castle.”

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Why do Christian Husbands Abuse Their Wives? 

Part Three (click here)

“How could a “Christian nation” be so poisoned, so sinful, and wretched? In reality, the churches have laid the foundation for such abusive behavior. The church is powerful. It has preached submission to husbands “no matter what.” The church has taught that reconciliation is staying with an abusive partner because “a gentle, Christlike, meek spirit will win him over.” It has taught that Christian forgiveness means returning to a threatening, dangerous relationship. It has kept quiet in a world which resonates with cries of abused women and children. It has denied, covered-up, and minimized the abuse of church leaders, and other Christian men, thus demanding no accountability, no change. Who has to change? It is always the woman. In reality this is not ministry of reconciliation.”

If you are a pastor who would like learn more about the dynamics of abuse or hurting person in need of help, or you have request for counseling, write to P.O. Box CB-13019, Nassau, The Bahamas or Email: question@soencouragement.org , or call 242 327 1980

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Marital Abuse & the Bible

“I’m not an authority on the subject. Yet, I also know that those of us who have used the Bible over the years to support marital permanence have often inadvertently contributed to a loss of peace and safety in the home. So I feel an obligation to do what I can to speak to a problem that, through so much misunderstanding, is robbing men of their honor, and women of their safety.”     by Mart De Haan

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THE PHARISEE SYNDROME

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THE WRONG ADVICE!

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http://www.amazon.com/Would-Real-Church-PLEASE-Stand/dp/1602660255

http://www.amazon.com/Not-Under-Bondage-Biblical-Desertion/dp/0980355346/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1345403717&sr=1-1&keywords=not+under+bondage

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NEW BOOK ANNOUNCEMENT!

(May be used for group or individual Bible study)

This Bible study is a necessity for all who counsel abused women. Domestic violence has reached epidemic portions worldwide, and we must not keep silent. Church leadership must recognize that Christians are not immune to domestic abuse, and the need for education in this area is great. The abused have been silent for too long – now they have a platform from which to share their experiences. With each study session, they will learn to open up, release their grief, and find their personal road to healing. It is encouraged that participants keep a journal as they travel this road of healing and restoration.

Please CLICK HERE if you desire to be notified of this publication’s release date.

Thank you in advance for your patience.

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13 Comments

Posted by on August 19, 2012 in According To His Word

 

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REST IN PEACE “DON PERRY”

By Terry Loving

As a former member of Hillcrest Church of Christ, I was saddened by the passing of my Brother in Christ – Donald “Don” Perry. When I saw his picture on Yahoo news, I remembered his hearty laughter, his warm handshakes, and his infectious smile. His deep hearty voice stayed with me over the years. I remember when it was announced that his son Jason was going to college, and how super proud this made Brother Perry and his family. I was happy for them, even from a distance.

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It really breaks my heart to read the hurtful comments, and the hate filled venom written in cyberspace concerning his death. S. Truett Cathy Founder and Chairman, of Chick-fil-A makes a statement concerning his spiritual beliefs, and opposer’s are wishing hell fire and suffering on Brother Perry. I really do not get it. Is this still America? Are we still in the land of the free to express our opinions? Have we not the right to choose to serve God, or not believe if we desire? I have yet to read anywhere that Mr. Cathy or Brother Perry was forcing their spiritual beliefs on anyone.

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As a fellow American and a Christian, I do not support gay marriage, and I do not hate gays. I have a lesbian cousin whom I love dearly. I have had gay male friends, and we all respected our different views without hate. My gay friend “Buzzy” died of a heart attack at the age of 40. I shared with him what the Bible says about homosexuals, and he shared with me how he felt about his lifestyle. Did we fall out and stop loving each other? No! My other gay friend who is probably dead from AIDS by now – same thing with him. We talked about it, but agreed to live our free will – gay and straight.

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My point is this – in the end – God will set the record straight. There is no need for hate.

I admit that some Christians make it hard for other Christians to live in this world. Religious fanatics will always be a part of our culture, and I personally wish it wasn’t so. But please understand this, true Christians are commanded to speak the Word of God, and do so with love – but not in a timid fashion. Does this mean that we are allowed to hurt feelings and step on toes when dealing with those who do not share our beliefs? – Not at all. It happens, but it doesn’t make it right. Mr. Cathy’s statement opposing same sex marriage did not – in my opinion – “discriminate” against gays.

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If Christians take a stand against domestic abusers, does this mean that we are discriminating against them? How about alcoholism – are we discriminating against those who drink when we speak as God speaks concerning this evil? I have witnessed from childhood what alcoholism does to a family. It dies a horrible slow death. Should we not warn those who live the opposite of what the Bible teaches? We as Christians are commanded to do so, or be held accountable:

King James 2000 Bible (©2003)
“Cry aloud, spare not, lift up your voice like a trumpet, and show my people their transgression, and the house of Jacob their sins.”

Ezekiel 3:18 “When I say to a wicked man, ‘You will surely die,’ and you do not warn him or speak out to dissuade him from his evil ways in order to save his life, that wicked man will die for his sin, and I will hold you accountable for his blood.”

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Does this mean that we are perfect? No, for me it means, “I was blind but now I see.”

The Bible is called “Good News” for God made provisions through the Blood of Christ to save our miserable souls. The “Good News” is we do not have to spend eternity in the devils hell. We can have life eternal with God and our Lord Jesus. It is our right to choose, God gave us this right to live or die spiritually.

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There are ignorant people saying that Don Perry died as a result of God’s judgment for his opinions. How stupid is that. Especially when this heated debate did not originate with Don in the first place. Humans are so quick to jump on bandwagons in ignorance when it comes to the things of God. But hey – no one is protesting the slavery and mistreatment of those who gather and process coco beans so Americans can enjoy their chocolate. This country enjoys much on the backs of underpaid, not paid, enslaved workers who provide much labor to produce our goods that we take for granted. But do we balk? Never! Only when the things of God are on the table do people get up in arms. Why? – Because America is on a moral decline, and the slope is getting more slippery day by day.

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The Bible warns that in the Last Days it will be like this. Light and darkness have always been in opposition. Darkness is trying to take over, for the light is dim and uninterested in shining for the Lord. In other words, many Christians love the world too much to stand up for God and His Word.

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And let me say this; of all the gay people I have known and loved, none of them bullied their way in our society to have the spotlight shine on them. They worked, wrote plays, were doctors, mothers and lived quiet lives. We were able to love one another because we did not try to impose our beliefs and our wills on each other. I guess it is just the way I see things. I will not miss an opportunity to speak the Word of God, but I will not hate anyone who is living a lifestyle not according to His Word. At the same time, I will not allow anyone who is gay to try to persuade me that what they are doing is right. I stand with God on this issue. And certainly no abuser can convince me that God gave him the right to chastise his wife. When you learn to agree to disagree, there is no cause for hate.

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Don and Marilyn Perry

To the Perry family, I offer my heartfelt condolences. To those who question Don’s standing with God, you have no right. I was there when he worshiped. I saw his heart, and you are wrong to condemn a man for something that did not originate with him. His death isn’t about “the chickens coming home to roost.” His death isn’t about “karma.” You make jokes about his death while his family mourns. You people are so sad. You know nothing about this man personally, and yet you condemn him to hell. Sad.

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Lastly, everyone seems to have an agenda that they are trying to get others to accept.

“Chad Griffin, president of the Human Rights Campaign, which supports same-sex marriage, told the AP Thursday that Chick-fil-A “has finally come clean.”

Now who lit the match?

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“The Chick-fil-A culture and service tradition in our restaurants is to treat every person with honor, dignity and respect — regardless of belief, creed and sexual orientation,” spokesman Don Perry said.

“We will continue this tradition in the over 1,600 restaurants run by independent Owner/Operators. Going forward, our intent is to leave the policy debate over same-sex marriage to the government and political arena,” he added.    http://www.examiner.com/article/liberals-media-attack-chick-fil-a-for-opposing-gay-marriage?CID=obinsite

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http://hillcrestcoc.net/donperry.pdf

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http://www.christianchronicle.org/article2159718~Church_elder,_Chick-fil-A_public_relations_leader_Donald_Perry_dies_at_60

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King James 2000 Bible (©2003)
“This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.”

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Hosea 14:9 “Who is wise? He will realize these things. Who is discerning? He will understand them. The ways of the LORD are right; the righteous walk in them, but the rebellious stumble in them.”

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New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”

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5 Comments

Posted by on August 1, 2012 in Preaching The Pure Word Of God!

 

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“THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT!”

By Terry Loving


John 6:70 “Then Jesus replied, “Have I not chosen you, the Twelve? Yet one of you is a devil!”

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Geraldine Jones” – a fictional character of the late comedian Flip Wilson popularized the expression, “The devil made me do it.” Each time she made bad choices in life, she found a way to escape responsibility by shifting the blame for her actions.  “Geraldine,” was instrumental in the success of the Flip Wilson show in the early 1970’s. Flip was funny – “Geraldine” was funny – the devil was the cause of all of her ills, and we laughed.

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When “Bishop” Thomas Weeks III blamed the devil for his beating his ex-wife “Prophetess” Juanita Bynum in the parking lot of an Atlanta hotel, no one laughed, and it certainly was not funny.  God gave humans free will, but the devil gets the blame for how free will is exercised. Mr. Weeks chose to express his free will in the form of rage, dismissing the fact that he had complete control over his actions – regardless of what prompted the argument. There was no little red devil sitting on his shoulder telling him to batter his wife, and publicly humiliate her.  Thomas Weeks III made a choice – the choice to batter.

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There are many batterers who will blame the violence on the abused – “See, look what you made me do!” “If you would just do what I say, I wouldn’t have to hit you.” “Submit! Submit and do what I say, then I won’t have to go off.” “You made me this way!” “God said you have to obey me, and you didn’t – so I hit you!” “God made me the head, and you have to obey me!” And the lists of excuses to batter are endless.

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Many preachers do not preach about the devil for, they claim this gives him too much credit – too much press. More emphasis is placed on the victory over evil in Christ and rightly so. However, the Bible, even Jesus Himself made known that we have a very real adversary. If it wasn’t important that we should know of Satan and how he operates, I believe God would have omitted this information from His Word.  Not only does this evil menace hate mankind, he has sought our spiritual demise from the beginning – his lies and deception began in the Garden of Eden:

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Paradise was conditionalThen the LORD God took the man and put him into the Garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it. The LORD God commanded the man, saying, “From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.”

“Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said to the woman, “Indeed, has God said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden’?” The woman said to the serpent, “From the fruit of the trees of the garden we may eat; but from the fruit of the tree which is in the middle of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat from it or touch it, or you will die.’” The serpent said to the woman, “You surely will not die! “For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings.” 1

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Hence the blame game, also known as “Passing the buck.” When confronted with what God already knew, Adam tried to shift the blame from himself to not only the woman, but God Himself – “The man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me from the tree, and I ate.”

“His wickedness and lack of true repentance appears in this that he blamed God because he had given him a wife.” Geneva Study Bible

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Next, the woman had to give an account for disobedience. “Then the LORD God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” And the woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”

“That is, a spirit in the serpent, which she took for a good one, but proved a bad one, with lying words and deceitful language imposed upon her, told her that the fruit forbidden was very good food, and very useful to improve knowledge; even to such a degree as to make men like God; and this God knew, and therefore out of envy and ill will to them forbid the eating of it; nor need they fear his menaces, for they might depend upon it they should never die; and thus he caused her to err from the truth, and to believe a lie; and by giving heed to the seducing spirit she was prevailed upon to eat of the fruit of the tree, which was forbidden, and which she owns; and it is an ingenuous confession that she makes as to the matter of fact; but yet, like her husband, and as learning it from him, she endeavours to shift off the blame from herself, and lay it on the serpent.”

Gill’s Exposition of the Entire Bible

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The devil can deceive mankind, but he cannot force anyone to do anything.  His chief entryway into our souls is through thoughts, ideas, and suggestions. He studies our actions and habits, especially those that would cause us to lose our souls. The devil’s greatest tool is deception, a very powerful spiritual weapon – that traps Christians and non-Christians alike.

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Deception plays a major part in domestic abuse – most abusers are deceived in thinking they do not have a problem with anger and violence. Satan convinces the mind of the abuser that it is the woman’s fault that he behaves so badly. In fact, deception causes the abuser to not see his actions as harmful, but right in his own eyes. This is especially true when it comes to abusers in the church – “God made me the head!” Unfortunately, being the “head” is not viewed correctly from a Biblical standpoint, but from the view of an earthly tyrant.

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1 Peter 5:8 warns us to – “ be watchful,” self-controlled and alert,” “watch out for your great enemy the devil,” “ be sober-minded;” “ be watchful,” “ be of sober spirit,” “ be on the alert,” “be vigilant,” “be reflective,”  “keep your mind clear and “self-controlled” – WHY? – “Because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walks about, seeking whom he may devour.”

“As a roaring lion – Compare Revelation 12:12. Sometimes Satan is represented as transforming himself into an angel of light, (see the notes at 2 Corinthians 11:14); and sometimes, as here, as a roaring lion: denoting the efforts which he makes to alarm and overpower us. The lion here is not the crouching lion – the lion stealthfully creeping toward his foe – but it is the raging monarch of the woods, who by his terrible roar would intimidate all so that they might become an easy prey. The particular thing referred to here, doubtless, is persecution, resembling in its terrors a roaring lion. When error comes in; when seductive arts abound; when the world allures and charms the representation of the character of the foe is not of the roaring lion, but of the silent influence of an enemy that has clothed himself in the garb of an angel of light,” 2 Corinthians 11:14.    Barnes’ Notes on the Bible

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Satan “influenced” Thomas Weeks III to strike his wife, but he did so through what was already in his heart – anger.  Satan cannot read our minds; however, he has observed the behavior of humans since the beginning of time. He uses what we say, and watches what we do. He uses our propensity to certain negative activities, and works his evil influence. He cannot make anyone do anything, keep this truth in mind.

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“Geraldine” claimed the devil made her buy a dress. Truth is Satan swayed her decision. The devil was able to mentally and emotionally influence “Geraldine’s” will power through her vanity, “The devil told me how good I look.” Just as he convinced Eve that the forbidden fruit would make her wise (vanity), he convinced “Geraldine” that she had to have that dress, for it had her favorite – “flowers,” and there was “no harm in trying on the dress.” The devil made sure he pointed out other facts that were enticing, “It’s on sale, and your size too.” “Why don’t you treat yourself to that dress?”

Like any temptation once you get too close, you most likely will follow through. Too often the devil will try to convince us that doing or possessing something is “no harm” in the doing or possessing. When in fact, the designs are meant to kill and destroy – alcoholism, smoking cigarettes, pot, adultery, fornication etc.

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 But why was the devil interested in her buying a dress? For one, this caused discord with her husband, “What! Another dress?” She purchased several dresses in one week possibly reducing the household savings, and going over personal agreed upon allowances. Money issues tear apart many homes due to vanity, materialism and bad habits. The lack of money causes many abused women to remain in violent homes, as the abusers control the household finances.

Proverbs 4:3 advises, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” The “heart” in this case is our emotions, mind, soul, nature, core, sentiment, and our temperament.

kardia: heart – Greek meaning :

“2588 kardíaheart; “the affective center of our being” and the capacity of moral preference (volitional desire, choice; see P. Hughs, 2 Cor, 354); “desire-producer that makes us tick” (G. Archer), i.e our “desire-decisions” that establish who we really are.

[Heart (2588 /kardía) is mentioned over 800 times in Scripture, but never referring to the literal physical pump that drives the blood. That is, “heart” is only used figuratively (both in the OT and NT.]”

“Keep thy heart with all diligence,…. The mind from vanity, the understanding from error, the will from perverseness, the conscience clear of guilt, the affections from being inordinate and set on evil objects, the thoughts from being employed on bad subjects; and the whole from falling into the hands of the enemy, or being the possession of Satan:”  Gill’s Exposition of the Entire Bible

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Ryan Brunn opened the door to the devil by watching child pornography. The news accounts do not give a timeline between watching that filth and the rape and murder of Jorelys Rivera, however, the devil capitalized on the evil Ryan enjoyed, and the thoughts, ideas and suggestions of hell led to a 7-year old being raped, tortured and murdered. After Ryan used his free will to oblige the devil, he threw the little girl in a trash dumpster, discarded her like rubbish.

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2 Corinthians 2:11 says in different versions that Satan “outwits,” “outsmarts,” “takes advantage of,” “over-reaches” mankind. We are not referring to a “little man in a red suit,” or a red devil with a pitch fork that sits on your shoulder and whispers in your ear. Satan is very intelligent, and he knows how the heart of man operates, for he was once an angel in heaven before his pride and rebellion caused his expulsion.

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New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“And the great dragon was thrown down, the serpent of old who is called the devil and Satan, who deceives the whole world; he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him.”

Satan’s greatest weapon is deception. He has convinced the world with the exception of a few that he does not exist. And those who somewhat believe in evil attributes it to that little red devil with the pitchfork. If this were so, could we just grab that little nuisance, squash him and be done with evil? We could only dream such a victory. “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.”   New American Standard Bible (©1995)

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Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary

“The whole design of Satan is to devour and destroy souls. He always is contriving whom he may insnare to eternal ruin. Our duty plainly is, to be sober; to govern both the outward and the inward man by the rules of temperance. To be vigilant; suspicious of constant danger from this spiritual enemy, watchful and diligent to prevent his designs. Be stedfast, or solid, by faith. A man cannot fight upon a quagmire, there is no standing without firm ground to tread upon; this faith alone furnishes. It lifts the soul to the firm advanced ground of the promises, and fixes it there. The consideration of what others suffer, is proper to encourage us to bear our share in any affliction; and in whatever form Satan assaults us, or by whatever means, we may know that our brethren experience the same.” Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary

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Countless sources document that abusers live what they learn. When abusers witness their mothers getting abused as children, they often become abusers themselves in their relationships. I believe this is true from what I have witnessed by way of personal experiences. However, the more I research domestic violence, the more I am convinced that evil influences the abuse more than we acknowledge, or understand. The violence in our world is increasing with hellish venom. Personally, I do not believe that everyone who commits violence in our world was abused as a child themselves.

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Violence is a learned behavior, which often times is influenced by the enemy of God and His creation. Just because you do not believe in satanic influence, that does not mean it doesn’t exist. Many people do not believe in the existence of a Divine Creator – does that make His existence invalid? – Not at all. The disobedience of Adam and Eve brought evil into our world, and the first murder was committed by one of their sons, Cain. The closest analogy to what happened in the Garden of Eden is the myth of Pandora’s Box. Once evil was released, it could not be taken back, and it grew and continues to grow worst.

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The serpent of the Garden and Satan are one in the same. Before the devil was cursed to crawl on his belly forever, he was an angel in heaven. He was not satisfied being an angel subject to his Creator – Satan desired to be God himself. His pride and evil desires caused a war in heaven that he lost, and was cast down to earth along with his angels.

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Trying to understand what makes people violent and abusive is a difficult task. There are many abusers who are brainwashed by sexism, and others who believe in order to be a “real” man, you have to be aggressive and tough – especially with your mate and offspring. However, God’s Word will help us to understand the spiritual influence behind the scenes so to speak. Humans are guided by either good or evil. The knowledge of both entered the world through sin, but we have a choice as to which will govern our lives.

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So how can the abused combat the evil that is happening to them? First, know your enemy – in flesh as well as spirit. Spiritual warfare is very real, and the effects are evident in our world today. Many blame God for the evil that we suffer in our lives, but He is not to blame. Our first parents were given free will – choice – something Americans especially are very proud of possessing in our country. All of humanity was granted the same opportunity to either do good or do evil – help or harm – lift up or tear down. Most choose to destroy, and the devil is much pleased to assist.

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We must use our spiritual weapons to combat domestic violence and abuse.

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil.”

Before soldiers go to war, they map of a plan of action. They study the enemy, habits, location, strength, etc. Christians are called to be soldiers in the army of God. But the sad thing is, too many believers have been deceived by Satan to the extent of staking a claim of comfort in this world. We are on a journey, and as we travel through this dark world, we need the light of the Gospel:

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path.”

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The Armor of God

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Stand firm therefore, HAVING GIRDED YOUR LOINS WITH TRUTH, and HAVING PUT ON THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, and having shod YOUR FEET WITH THE PREPARATION OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE; in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”

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 THE DEMONIC

14And when they were come to the multitude, there came to him a man, kneeling to him, saying, 15Lord, have mercy on my son: for he is epileptic, and suffereth grievously; for oft-times he falleth into the fire, and off-times into the water. 16And I brought him to thy disciples, and they could not cure him. 17And Jesus answered and said, O faithless and perverse generation, how long shall I be with you? how long shall I bear with you? bring him hither to me. 18And Jesus rebuked him; and the demon went out of him: and the boy was cured from that hour.

19Then came the disciples to Jesus apart, and said, Why could not we cast it out? 20And he saith unto them, Because of your little faith: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you. 21But this kind goeth not out save by prayer and fasting.”

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Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary

“9:14-29 The father of the suffering youth reflected on the want of power in the disciples; but Christ will have him reckon the disappointment to the want of faith. Very much is promised to our believing. If thou canst believe, it is possible that thy hard heart may be softened, thy spiritual diseases may be cured; and, weak as thou art, thou mayest be able to hold out to the end. Those that complain of unbelief, must look up to Christ for grace to help them against it, and his grace will be sufficient for them. Whom Christ cures, he cures effectually. But Satan is unwilling to be driven from those that have been long his slaves, and, when he cannot deceive or destroy the sinner, he will cause him all the terror that he can. The disciples must not think to do their work always with the same ease; some services call for more than ordinary pains.”

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I could say much more concerning this issue, but then I would have to write a book. For now though, I hope I got my point across. Domestic violence and abuse call for drastic spiritual measures. Meditate on scripture that pertain to your particular situation, fast and pray for deliverance. Fighting with your abuser will not yield the positive results you are hoping for. Give God a chance to change your circumstances His way. Be diligent in seeking Him, and do not lose faith and hope.

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Fast and pray for your children, your situation, your strength, guidance and direction. And yes, even for your abuser. Your safety is most important, if you can get to safety, do so by all means. Fast and pray for your healing and direction once you have separated.

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Read the Bible and learn of our common enemy. He is not a horned devil in a red suit. He is evil, of the spiritual realm, and wicked. His fury is increasing in the world for he is a defeated foe. But we who are alive still have to contend with his wiles. The blood of Christ has won our victory, and Satan is hell bound. Eventually the god of this world will trouble us no more.

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Jesus is our Victory. The battle has already been won. Don’t allow Satan to convince you that the cross meant that Jesus lost the battle for our souls. It may not seem so, but we are on the winning side. No matter who the devil uses to crush our faith – abusers, false preachers, fake friends, disloyal family members – we must stand spiritually strong. The battle is more spiritual than fleshly.

“IT IS WRITTEN!”

Note how Jesus handled the devil and do the same. Our Savior rebuked our adversary with the Word of God.

CAUTION! This is not meant that you should get in the face of your abuser and quote scriptures. When you fast and pray, this is a private matter between you and God. Doing otherwise may bring more harm to yourselves. This is not what I am suggesting or implying. Just wanted to get that out there. I will not be held responsible for anyone taking that route upon themselves.

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New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might.”

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1 THE FALL OF MAN – http://nasb.scripturetext.com/genesis/3.htm

2http://www.markbeast.com/satan/names-of-satan.htm

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NAMES OF SATAN

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Demonic Attack As a Result of Excessive Alcohol Consumption

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CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE CHARACTER OF SATAN

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Preachers

“Satan does not usually do his own dirty work. He works through agents. God has sent true preachers, apostles, and prophets, so Satan makes counterfeits — false teachers, apostles, and prophets.”

2 Corinthians 11:13-15 — False teachers do not appear as false teachers or no one would believe them. They are “deceitful workers” who appear as ministers of righteousness.”

“A man who is clearly an atheist or grossly immoral would not fool many religious people. But a good moral man who seems kind and concerned can teach error and fool people decent and devout people.”

Isaiah 5:20 — Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil. Yet that is Satan’s favorite trick. His workers are wolves in sheep’s clothing” (Matt. 7:15).

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”

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Just as it is written,
“FOR YOUR SAKE WE ARE BEING PUT TO DEATH ALL DAY LONG;
WE WERE CONSIDERED AS SHEEP TO BE SLAUGHTERED.”

“But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:36-39

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Boys’ death: an act of evil

“Thanks for putting the word “evil” on the front page with reference to the two innocent boys murdered be their evil father. Let’s acknowledge the existence of evil. Let’s not try to understand it or negotiate with it. Let’s just fight against it.”

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The Danger Assessment

The Danger Assessment helps to determine the level of danger an abused woman has of being killed by her intimate partner. It is free and available to the public. Using the Danger Assessment requires the weighted scoring and interpretation that is provided after completing the training. The Danger Assessment is available in a variety of languages.

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http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 20092012
All rights reserved.

 
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Posted by on February 8, 2012 in SATANIC INFLUENCE

 

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