RSS

Tag Archives: abused men

MOVIES ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND ABUSE

By Terry Loving

“And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power,

and the glory, for ever. Amen”. (Matthew 6:13)

hotlineOctober is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Another foundation that shares the month of October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month – both causes are equally important.

The first awareness month was in Oct. 1987, which is the same year the national toll-free hotline began. The month was created out of the first Day of Unity observed in Oct. 1981 by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. The Day of Unity grew into a week of activities to spread awareness of domestic violence.

This year (2014), I will be listing movies about abuse and domestic violence. Please be mindful that this is Hollywood, and many of the movies will be rated “R”. Even so, there are many truths that are spoken and displayed throughout many of the movies.

………………………………..

SLING BLADE

MV5BMTYyMzE5NTYwOF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMzYxNjcxMTE@._V1_SY317_CR0,0,214,317_AL_

“25 Years after committing an unthinkable crime, a quiet man named Karl (Thornton) finally returns home. Once there, he’s befriended by a fatherless boy and his mother. But when his new-found peace is shattered by the mother’s abusive boyfriend, Karl is suddenly placed on a collision course with his past!”

This movie possibly answers many questions concerning abused women such as, “Why does she stay?” “Why won’t she leave?” Linda is a woman like many others who stay for the “good times.” Known as the “honeymoon stage,” this is a period of calm and false security in abusive relationships. On the other hand, Linda feels trapped by the threat of death if she leaves her boyfriend Doyle Hargraves. She convinces her traumatized son that it is best to “bide our time,” thus hoping for a day when it is safe to get away from Doyle. In addition, Linda is hoping that perhaps her abuser will tire of her and leave on his own. Unfortunately, that never happened as Doyle dug his heels in deeper by pledging to move in with Linda and her son and be the “head” of the household.

Linda’s son Frank Wheatley – “I ain’t never gonna be happy now!”

Karl Childers – “You will be happy.”

………………………………..

THE UNSPOKEN TRUTH

The Unspoken Truth

 “Made for television, The Unspoken Truth is the factual story of Brianne Hawkins (Lea Thompson), who after enduring a lifetime of abuse at the hands of her family marries the even more abusive Clay Hawkins (James Marshall). Given to beating his wife at the slightest provocation, Clay finally goes completely over the edge when he shoots and kills a man who had the temerity to speak to Brianne without Clay’s permission. Thinking quickly for a change, Clay persuades Brianne to take the rap for the killing, whereupon she complicity (if not willingly) concocts an elaborate story as to how she shot the man accidentally. Not only do the authorities refuse to swallow this fabrication, but they end up sending both Clay and Brianne to prison for life! Only when the future of her daughter, Lily (Karis Paige Bryant), is jeopardized does the long-suffering Brianne finally work up the courage to fight for her freedom and her long-denied fundamental rights as a human being. A shocking mid-film revelation elevates this story from the usual battered-wife TV-movie syndrome. Filmed on location in Austin, TX, The Unspoken Truth originally aired September 24, 1995, on NBC. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi”

………………………………..

THE COLOR PURPLE

The Color Purple

“Based on the Pulitzer Prize-winning novel by Alice Walker, The Color Purple spans the years 1909 to 1949, relating the life of Celie (Whoopi Goldberg), a Southern black woman virtually sold into a life of servitude to her brutal husband, sharecropper Albert (Danny Glover). Celie pours out her innermost thoughts in letter form to her sister Nettie (Akousa Busia), but Albert has been hiding the letters Nettie writes back, allowing Celie to assume that Nettie is dead. Finally, Celie finds a champion in the don’t-take-no-guff Sofia (Oprah Winfrey), the wife of Glover’s son from a previous marriage. Alas, Sofia is “humbled” when she is beaten into submission by angry whites. Later, Celie is able to forge a strong friendship with Albert’s mistress Shug (Margaret Avery). Emboldened by this, Celie begins rifling through her husband’s belongings and finds Nettie’s letters. Able at last to stand up to her husband, Celie leaves him to search for a new life on her own. A major box-office hit, The Color Purple was nominated for eleven Oscars. The film was co-produced by Quincy Jones, who also wrote the score. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi”

………………………………..

WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?

Whats Love Got To Do With It

“What’s Love Got to Do With It? is the filmed biography of R&B/pop singer Tina Turner (Angela Bassett), documenting her efforts to break away from her abusive husband Ike (Laurence Fishburne). After a few scenes detailing Tina’s life as a young singer in Nutbush, TN, she’s discovered by Ike Turner, an already established songwriter, guitarist, and record producer. Ike takes Tina under his wing and makes her a star, but her fame makes him jealous and abusive, and she has to struggle to break free of his domination. ~ Stephen Thomas Erlewine, Rovi”

………………………………..

THE ABDUCTION

The Abduction

“While their marriage may have started off happily, Kate now finds that her police officer husband Paul has grown more unstable and abusive with each passing year. At long last, she leaves him and tries to start a new life for herself. Paul, however, has become obsessed with the thought of getting Kate back, and starts stalking her. Matters come to a head when he takes her hostage and threatens to kill her. Will she get out of this alive, or will it end in tragedy?”

………………………………..

THE BURNING BED

The Burning Bed

“An abused battered wife has had enough of husband beating up on her. Everywhere she turns for help, there’s not much anyone will do. After he rapes her one night, she sets the bed on fire with him in it asleep.”

………………………………..

TAKE MY EYES

Take my eyes

“Spanish actress/author/filmmaker Icíar Bollaín writes and directs the family drama Te Doy Mis Ojos (Take My Eyes), co-written by Alicia Luna. Pilar (Laia Marull) leaves her abusive husband, Antonio (Luis Tosar), during the middle of winter in Toledo, Spain. She and her son, Juan (Nicolás Fernández Luna), go to live with her sister Ana (Candela Peña). While supportive, Ana doesn’t fully understand Pilar’s situation. Pilar’s mother, Aurora (Rosa María Sardà), refuses to acknowledge the problem. Antonio is desperate to win back Pilar. He sends her constant presents and even attends therapy sessions in order to work through his anger. Meanwhile, Pilar gets a job at an art museum and tries to restart her life. Take My Eyes won several awards at the San Sebastian Film Festival before making its U.S. premiere at the Sundance Film Festival in 2004. ~ Andrea LeVasseur, Rovi”

………………………………..

A Cry for Help The Tracey Thurman Story

A cry for help

“Tracy Thurman was married to a man who abused her. But he continues to harass her after she gets a restraining order, and the police do little to help. When he brutally beats her and slashes her throat in front of police, she sues the city and the police department for failing to protect her.”

………………………………..

PROVOKED: A TRUE STORY

Provoked

“It’s the true story of a Punjabi woman named Kiranjit Ahluwalia who leaves India to marry a London-based guy, only to be badly abused. She ends up in prison for murdering her abusive husband.”

………………………………..

MEN DON’T TELL (1993)

Men_Don't_Tell_1993_Film_Advert_CBS

“This movie shows another side to spousal abuse that not too many people thought is possible–the husband being abused and the wife the abuser.”

………………………………..

BLACK and BLUE

Black and blue

“After a woman’s husband beats and abuses her, she and her son join the witness protection program and move away secretly.”

………………………………..

UNFORGIVABLE 1996

Unforgivable 1996

“John Ritter plays a family man who puts his wife through domestic violence and his children through emotional torture. After leaving his family and almost killing his new girlfriend in one of his rages, he is ordered to seek professional help through an innovative therapy program or go to jail.”

………………………………..

Cries Unheard: The Donna Yaklich Story (1994)

Cries Unheard The Donna Yaklich Story 1994

“Donna Yaklich meets Dennis the policeman and thinks she might have found a good relationship. But Dennis is obsessed with weight-lifting and uses steroids, which make him aggressive and abusive. Getting out of the relationship isn’t easy as Dennis isn’t willing to let her go, and Donna’s options are narrowed down to one remaining alternative.”

………………………………..

SHATTERED DREAMS

Shattered Dreams

“Charlotte marries John. Things seem ok; John has a good job and he’s going up in the world, working for the government. But every so often he loses his temper and Charlotte gets the brunt of his anger. During the 18 year course of their marriage, there are at least 8 incidents of physical abuse and countless of mental. Charlotte’s family and friends tell her to leave John but she keeps going back, most likely because he has convinced her that she would be nothing without him. It finally explodes in a big divorce battle balancing on the cases of abuse.”

………………………………..

LIES OF THE HEART

Lies of the heart“This is the fact-based made-for-TV movie of Laurie Kellog, who was accused of the murder of her husband Bruce in May 1992, told in flashbacks while she’s waiting for her judgment. When she was 16 she met the 15 years older Bruce Kellog, a charming guy, and moved in with him shortly after. What she didn’t know was that he “bought” her from her stepfather for 500 bucks. First she’s happy to serve him, but not long and Bruce shows his real face.”

………………………………..

DANGEROUS INTENTIONS

Dangerous Intentions

“A man stalks his wife and child when they leave for an abused women’s shelter.”

………………………………..

SLEEPING with the DEVIL

sleeping_with_the_devil-1370357961

“Professional nurse Rebecca Dubrovich (Shannen Doherty) is swept off her feet by charming millionaire Dick Strang (Tim Matheson), and the two begin a passionate romance. Only when it is too late does Rebecca discover that Strang has, to put it mildly, a dark side: He’s a bigamist, a control freak, a pathological liar, and a vicious sadist. Breaking off the relationship, Rebecca is subsequently stalked by the obsessive Strang, who ultimately injures her so severely that she is confined to a wheelchair. During her painful recovery period, Rebecca falls in love with orthopedic surgeon Jerrold Petrofsky (David Bowe), and ultimately dedicates her life to helping other victims of abusive relationships. Based on a true story previously dramatized on the television anthology Unsolved Mysteries and then released in book form, the made-for-TV Sleeping with the Devil originally aired April 22, 1997 on CBS. ~ Hal Erickson, Rovi”

………………………………..

ENOUGH

ENOUGH“Working class waitress Slim finds her life transformed when she marries wealthy contractor Mitch. She settles into an idyllic suburban life and seems to have everything she wants: loving husband, beautiful home, and Gracie, an adorable 5-year-old daughter. Her dream is shattered when she discovers her husband is anything but perfect. His abusive behavior forces her to go on the run, eluding an increasingly obsessive Mitch and his lethal henchmen. When, despite Slim’s efforts to make a new life, Mitch finds her and threatens her again, she puts Gracie in safe keeping, toughens herself mentally and physically and sets out to prove to Mitch she’s had enough.”

………………………………..

FAMILY of STRANGERS

FAMILY OF STRANGERS

“Julie must disclose her family’s medical history before undergoing major surgery, but when she questions her family, she discovers that she was adopted and later, that her conception was the product of a rape.”

………………………………..

NO ONE WOULD TELL

NO ONE WOULD TELL

“Shy sixteen-year-old Stacy Collins can’t believe that the most popular guy in school, an attractive athlete named Bobby Tennison, is interested in her. At first she is flattered by his constant attention, but then he becomes possessive and jealous-telling her who she can speak to and what she can wear. Threats escalate into violence when Bobby thinks Stacy has stepped out of line. Soon she is walking on egg shells and living in fear. Having seen the tell-tale bruises, Stacy’s best friend convinces her to break things off with Bobby-but in a moment of weakness, Stacy goes to meet him.”

………………………………..

ONCE WERE WARRIORS

ONCE WERE WARRIORS

“A family descended from Maori warriors is bedeviled by a violent father and the societal problems of being treated as outcasts.”

………………………………..

SIN by SILENCE

Sin_by_Silence_film_poster

“Inside the California Institution for Women, the first inmate initiated and led group in U.S. prison history, shatters the misconceptions of domestic violence.

Convicted Women Against Abuse (CWAA) was created in 1989 to help women inside prison break the silence about abuse and learn more about what they needed to do to help others stop the cycle of violence.

Instead of fighting a system that does not fully comprehend the complexities of abuse, the women of CWAA led an initiative to help educate the system. Through careful orchestration of letter writing campaigns, media coverage, and senate hearings a movement was born and laws for battered women were changed. And for the founder of CWAA, the flicker of hope begins to grow as her possible freedom, after 26 years in prison, lies moments away.”

………………………………..

Bastard out of Carolina on AllMovie

BASTARD OUT OF CAROLINA

“Bastard out of Carolina was the first novel published by author Dorothy Allison. The book, which is semi-autobiographical in nature, is set in Allison’s hometown of Greenville, South Carolina. Narrated by Ruth Anne “Bone” Boatwright, the primary conflict occurs between Bone and her mother’s husband, Glen.

The novel examines the expectations of gender and mother–child relationships, and explores the roles of these characters in the future. Conditions of class, race, sexuality and gender play out in Bone’s life and her relationships with others.

The book was adapted into a film in 1996.”

………………………………..

Site that lists pages of movies with domestic abuse themes.
  ………………………………..
Let us continue to pray for those who suffer the evil of domestic violence and abuse, and assist when and where we can.
  ………………………………..

http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2014
All rights reserved.

 
1 Comment

Posted by on October 3, 2014 in Domestic Violence Awareness

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

WHY ABUSED MEN DON’T SPEAK OUT

By Terry Loving

Proverbs 21:9 “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”

Proverbs 21:19 “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.”

New International Version (©1984)
“A foolish son is his father’s ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.”

Proverbs 27:15 “A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day;”

………………………………….

It is widely documented that more women than men suffer abuse. Perhaps this is the reason why more shelters are geared towards assisting woman and their children, rather than shelters for men.  During my research on this topic, I have discovered that men who suffer abuse do not readily report their plight to authorities. Why? Because our society has differentiated gender roles to imply – women are dainty and delicate, while men are rough, tough, and masculine. Therefore, if there is an issue of domestic violence and abuse, society tends to side with the women – after all, how could it be possible that a “dainty” woman can successfully abuse a much stronger male?

……………………………………..

It happens.

Not because the female aggressor is physically stronger than the man that she is abusing, but because he won’t hit her back. Many men are raised to never strike a female, regardless of what she does. Some men may view this mentality as absurd, and look upon the male victim as a “wuss.” The abused man is chided, ridiculed, and laughed at when he seeks help from authorities, and our court system does not place much value upon his complaints. In many cases, the tables are turned when an abused man calls the police. He may have held his aggressive mate by the arms to keep her from striking him further, but often times the police arrest him as the aggressor in the matter. Too often abused men find no relief through our court system, and they are left to feel the same shame that abused women often experience.

……………………………………..

Even though this blog has many posts that refer to the abuse of women and children, men can be, and are often abused by women as well. In order to eradicate the evil of domestic violence and abuse, both sides of the equation must be acknowledged. If we are to establish peace in our homes, we must shine a light on all components of domestic violence. Acknowledging the fact that men are abused is not a taking of sides, feminist verses chauvinist. It is a matter of justice for all. Isn’t that one of the privileges of being an American, “Liberty and justice for all?”

……………………………………..

As long as male verses female, strong verses weak, evil verses good, rich verses poor exist – we will never experience harmony in our world. We will continue to raise our children to view others based on skin color, gender, economic status, religious differences, and everything but “made in the image of God.” Women who verbally and physically abuse their mates are no different from men who do the same. Children are taught family dysfunction no matter who does the hitting – mommy or daddy.

……………………………………..

Why abused men don’t speak out? Because they are not believed when they reach out for help, it is the same frustration that abused women feel. Men are laughed at, women are told to “stop pushing his buttons.” Many “macho” guys feel that if a woman is big enough to hit, she is big enough to get hit back. It has been said that some women strike first because they “want to get hit.” Due to low self-esteem and abuse she suffered growing up, she may feel that getting beaten is all that she deserves. Really, she needs counseling and much help with her beliefs.

……………………………………..

The Effects of Husband Abuse

“Men who experience domestic violence can experience serious, long-term effects on their mental health. Emotional abuse can take a serious toll on a man’s psyche, resulting in depression or low self-esteem.”

“Male domestic abuse doesn’t go away if it’s ignored. Sometimes abused husbands stay in the marriage because they think it won’t happen again – similar to abused wives.”

“We know that many women may have trouble leaving abusive relationships, especially if they’re caring for young children and not working outside the home,” said Dr. Reid. “We were surprised to find that most men in abusive relationships also stay, through multiple episodes, for years.”1

……………………………………..

Regardless of who commits acts of violence and abuse in the home, the children will see, listen, and learn negative behaviors from both parents. If only people were more like Jesus, servants to one another, we would have less abuse in our homes. If we placed more emphasis on out doing one another in serving one another, we would eliminate the selfishness which is the foundation of domestic violence. Also, statistics may determine that violence against women is more prevalent and brutal – however, all violence is sinful. Violent and abusive homes produce more victims and perpetrators for the next generation.

……………………………………..

The true Cycle of Violence involves training our children to hit and abuse innocent people that they will come in contact with. It is no longer just a concern that they will grow up to be violent, young children today are angry and violent – shooting and killing – and guess where they learned such behaviors? – At home.

Until proven otherwise, every complaint of abuse should be taken seriously. No one should have to live this way.

……………………………………..

GALATIANS 5:19-21

“Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.”

……………………………………..

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“It is better to live in a desert land Than with a contentious and vexing woman.”

……………………………………..

HELP FOR MEN WHO SUFFER ABUSE IN RELATIONSHIPS

When Men Are the Victims of Abuse

“Don’t believe it happens? Let Ron Mattocks tell you how his wife mentally abused him and how it ruined his social life, his career, and left him ready to commit suicide. Then find out how he turned things around.”

……………………………………..

RESOURCE LIST – SAFE FOR ALL.ORG

……………………………………..

FREE ONLINE SUPPORT GROUP

……………………………………..

Android Phone Angry Wife Game App: Women Abusing Men as Sport

……………………………………..

SHRINK4MEN

……………………………………..

Why do we stay?

“Understanding why men stay in abusive relationships or remain silent…”

……………………………………..

A.A.R.D.V.A.R.C.
An Abuse, Rape, and Domestic Violence Aid and Resource Collection

……………………………………..

Battered Men – The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence

……………………………………..

MALE VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

……………………………………..

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND ABUSIVE WOMEN

……………………………………..

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE-When She Hits Him First

……………………………………..

Erin Pizzey

……………………………………..

WHY ABUSED MEN DON’T TELL

……………………………………..

Sexual Violence Against Men – Still a Taboo Subject

……………………………………..

WomenAbusingMen.org

……………………………………..

DadsRights.org

1Read more at Suite101: Husband Abuse: Men Experience Domestic Violence: How Domestic Violence Affects a Man’s Health & Self-Image | Suite101.com http://l-pawlik-kienlen.suite101.com/emotional-physical-husband-abuse-a55472#ixzz1Zm0tCUuB

Colin Henderson's winning design will be displ...

Image via Wikipedia

……………………………………..

http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

……………………………………..

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009
All rights reserved.

 
4 Comments

Posted by on October 3, 2011 in SPEAK UP! SPEAK OUT!

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE – IS SILENCE GOLDEN?


By Terry Loving

“Silence is golden, as her father used to say when she used to fly into tempers and wanted to say nasty things to everybody within range.” [1923 A. Huxley Antic Hay xx.] 1

Oh, don’t it hurt deep inside
To see someone do something’ to her?
Oh, don’t it pain to see someone cry?
Oh especially when someone is her

Silence is golden
But my eyes’ still see
Silence is golden, golden
But my eyes still see

A talkin’ is cheap, people follow like sheep
Even though there is nowhere to go
How could she tell he deceived her so well
Pity she’ll be the last one to know

Silence is golden
But my eyes’ still see
Silence is golden, golden
But my eyes still see

How many times did she fall for his line?
Should I tell her or should I keep cool?
And if I tried I know she’ll say I lied
Mind your business, don’t hurt her, you fool

Silence is golden
But my eyes’ still see
Silence is golden, golden
But my eyes still see

But my eyes still see 2

There is an old adage – saying, proverb, motto – that “Silence is golden.” It basically means that there are times in which silence has its merit, and should be exercised wisely. Ecclesiastes 3:7 states there is, “A time to be silent and a time to speak.” Where domestic violence is concerned, silence IS NOT golden. The abused – the church – society – and our own families have been silent much too long. It is time to SPEAK!

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS NOT A PRIVATE MATTER!

It is a CRIMINAL OFFENSE

……………………………………………………

WOMEN WHO BROKE THE SILENCE – AND SURVIVED – IT IS POSSIBLE


“It starts with screams and must never end in silence.”

“I experienced real fear – the type where you shake from head to foot for fear of dying, being disfigured for life or being disabled. And yet we had separated and I had reported him to the police. If he isn’t supervised, I wonder what offenses he will commit next and who his next victim will be. These keys symbolise the flat where I can sleep safely now and have been able to start a new life.”

http://www.flickr.com/photos/councilofeurope/3074742734/in/set-72157610604063276/

“He left me for dead like a piece of rubbish. I want him to be punished. Not prosecuting them only encourages them to carry on. Despite everything, I loved my husband and that made me suffer.”

http://www.flickr.com/photos/councilofeurope/3073907579/in/set-72157610604063276/

“Today I am waiting for the trial so that he can be judged and imprisoned. He says he is sorry and wants me to come back. There is no way that is going to happen.”

http://www.flickr.com/photos/councilofeurope/3074742560/in/set-72157610604063276/

“I need to feel safe from predators. Sometimes I feel scared… lost… so tired and weary. But I know I need a new love, kindness, affection, sharing, being happy again.”

http://www.flickr.com/photos/councilofeurope/3074742800/in/set-72157610604063276/

“After the divorce and after he had been sentenced for violence and death threats, I turned the page and put it all behind me. I have been able to rebuild a trusting relationship with a man I had known for a long time – he was the one for me. There is always hope. There is a life after this hell.”

http://www.flickr.com/photos/councilofeurope/3073907937/in/set-72157610604063276/

“For six years, day after day, he would hit me. He split my head open, broke my nose, burnt my arm with a cigarette. I ran away to Spain with only my daughter under my arm and my papers.”

http://www.flickr.com/photos/councilofeurope/3074742946/in/set-72157610604063276/

“Today I drift from shelter to shelter while he sits comfortably at home.”

http://www.flickr.com/photos/councilofeurope/3074743002/in/set-72157610604063276/

“I decided to take my life into my own hands and with the help of doctors, social workers, lawyers and the shelter for women, where I was in very good company, I regained my self-confidence. Now I express my feelings through my painting.”

http://www.flickr.com/photos/councilofeurope/3073908185/in/set-72157610604063276/

“Even in desperate situations, the child’s interests must be safeguarded. It is important to guarantee the right of the child to a normal school-life.”

http://www.flickr.com/photos/councilofeurope/3074743198/in/set-72157610604063276/

“We got married because we were in love. Some time later, he started locking me in the house and hitting me. He raped me and forced me to have sexual relations which I did not agree to.”

http://www.flickr.com/photos/councilofeurope/3074743374/in/set-72157610604063276/

SILENCE IS A BATTERER’S BEST FRIEND

IT’S TIME TO FIND A WAY OUT!

……………………………………………………

“SIN BY SILENCE”


1 http://www.answers.com/topic/silence-is-golden

2 http://www.answers.com/topic/silence-is-golden-tremeloes-song

SILENCE IS GOLDEN (song)

Performed by: The Tremeloes
Written by: B Crewe; B Gaudio

Credits: Crewe, B (Songwriter); Gaudio, B (Songwriter); SONGS OF WINDSWEPT PACIFIC (Publisher)

………………………………………

“Domestic violence cases are a priority for prosecutors because they know where abuse can lead…”

“It’s not domestic violence prosecution, it’s homicide prevention…”

http://www.heraldnet.com/article/20110220/NEWS01/702209959

………………………………………

The Danger Assessment

The Danger Assessment helps to determine the level of danger an abused woman has of being killed by her intimate partner. It is free and available to the public. Using the Danger Assessment requires the weighted scoring and interpretation that is provided after completing the training. The Danger Assessment is available in a variety of languages.

………………………………………

http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

BREAK THE SILENCE!

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009
All rights reserved.


Donate Now

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on February 28, 2011 in SILENCING THE ABUSED

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Violence And Abuse – “You Asked For It?”

Jesus-wept-large

Image via Wikipedia

By Terry Loving

I was reading a post written by a woman who was verbally abused, cheated on, and totally beat down by her non-Christian husband. Being a Christian herself, she felt that her disobedience to God – “Do not be unequally yoked…” – brought on the abuse – her punishment for marrying a worldly man. The part of her admission that really caught my attention was, “I asked for what I got.” I don’t agree – totally – with this poor soul, for it sounds like God is punishing her with adultery, violence and abuse. That is not the God that I have learned to love, and the Father that I serve.

……………………………………….

Many people including myself have stated, “If I knew what I know now….” – they would have made more suitable choices in life. It would be wonderful if we could avoid catastrophes’ in life by glancing into the future, but God didn’t fashion us that way. By the way fortune tellers, stop lying to the people. You are robbing them blind, and babbling lies. Now, back to my point; we may have overt or subtle clues warning of possible danger, but physical and emotional neediness causes us to ignore the red flags, especially in relationships.

……………………………………….

I do believe that God will allow us to make our mistakes, especially when we don’t heed His Word, and His warnings. As I research articles and the comment sections, countless people don’t believe in God anyway.  And those who do often find it hard to resist temptation in a world that reeks of evil, and shouts, “You are nothing” if you don’t have a mate, a new car, this brand, that brand, designer clothing, live in a certain area, or have enough money to show off your life-style. No one wants to feel like a “nobody,” so society dictates what it will take to make you feel like a “somebody.” We tend to overlook the obvious negatives when choosing mates in order to feel whole.

……………………………………….

When we place our human needs and desires above God’s wisdom, we often find ourselves in dire predicaments. No one “asks” to be abused or violated in any way. We trade in wisdom for emotionalism, and buy into the idea of “happily ever after.” Our free will is often misconstrued as power to change others. Women especially think they can love away the flaws of damaged men. Been there done that – what a fallacy.

……………………………………….

“Unequally yoked?” – we can be in many ways, especially spiritually.  1Corinthians 6:14 says there is no fellowship between “believers” and “unbelievers;” “light with darkness;” “righteousness” and “wickedness” have nothing in common. “How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness?”  “How can light live with darkness?” (New Living Translation)

……………………………………….

This can also be said of those with “unregenerate” hearts – “1. Not spiritually renewed or reformed; not repentant; Sinful; dissolute. Not reconciled to change; unreconstructed – stubborn; obstinate.”1 In this case, unregenerate hearts applies to abusers in church houses that refuse to acknowledge their violent and abusive ways, and repent. Their sins are “stored up and kept on record” for the Day of Judgment (Hosea 13:12; Romans 2:5)

……………………………………….

In conclusion, no one “asks” for a punch in the mouth; broken bones; verbal abuse; or any kind of mistreatment. I am sure abused individuals would run the other way if they had witnessed their abusers doing to others what is now being done to them. If only they could step outside of their bodies to see that abuse is injustice no matter who it happens to. God is not looking down from heaven saying, “See, that’s what you get!” No, He gives us wisdom through His Word to avoid certain people, and dangerous situations – Divine Providence. It grieves His heart when we don’t listen to His direction. Some people view His guidance as “spiritual slavery.” Of course that is what Satan wants you to think so that you will turn away from salvation. God’s laws are for our protection because He loves us, and knows what is down those dark roads that we are tempted to travel.

……………………………………….

Obeying God’s Word offers peace for our lives, and true freedom. It is man that has turned worship of Jehovah inside out, calling evil good and good evil. Satan has been a liar and a deceiver from the beginning, “Did God really say…?” 2 Staying in violent and abusive situations is not God’s Will for our lives. NO, NO! God called Abraham a “friend,” and Jesus had so much compassion for the people that He “wept.” (James 2:23; 2 Chronicles 20:7; John 11:35)

……………………………………….

You didn’t ask for violence and abuse my sister/brother. It is up to you to seek God for strength and courage to change your own lives. Beat down people are in no position to build up the Kingdom of God. What is more important? Yes, the Bible warns us that “Indeed, all who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus will be persecuted,” (2 Timothy 3:12). But this is what is expected from the “world.” Not within our Christian homes.

“Confidence in an unfaithful man is painful and vexatious; when we put any stress on him, he not only fails, but makes us feel for it.”

“It is better to be alone, than to be joined to one who is a hinderance to the comfort of life. Heaven is a country afar off;”

“When the righteous are led into sin, it is as hurtful as if the public fountains were poisoned.”

“The man who has no command over his anger, is easily robbed of peace.”3

“It is better to live in a corner of the roof Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.”  (Proverbs 25:24)

……………………………………….

1 http://www.thefreedictionary.com/unregenerate

2 Genesis 3:1

3 http://bible.cc/proverbs/25-24.htm

……………………………………….

http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

NOTE: Be careful of “tips” in books and on the internet concerning how to deal with verbal abuse.

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009
All rights reserved.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on October 18, 2010 in Home

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,