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Category Archives: VIOLENCE AMONG US

ABUSERS – TAKE A LOOK AT YOURSELF!

By Terry Loving

WARNING – GRAPHIC VIDEO!

The above video represents a violent and brutal home invasion caught on a nanny cam in Millburn, NJ. The date of the attack was June 21, 2013 at 10 a.m. in the morning.

“The incident in a Millburn living room last Friday was caught on camera, authorities have said. In the video, a young mother is shown watching cartoons with her 3-year-old daughter – and then a loud crash is heard from off-camera. Within moments, an intruder lunges at the woman, pummeling her with his fists and kicking her in the head before tossing her down a flight of stairs off-camera. An 18-month-old son was asleep upstairs at the time of the crime, authorities have said.”

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“The victim tried not to scream as she was beaten, because she didn’t want to traumatize her daughter, she told authorities.”

The video shows what a violent crime looks like,” Acting Essex County Prosecutor Carolyn Murray said. “We have a tremendous amount of violent crime in Essex County, but when people in the community see what it really looks like that’s why we got the outpouring of assistance that we did.”

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Forty-two year old Shawn Custis showed the world what violent domestic abusers do every day. I am not taking anything away from this poor woman and her child who was a witness. For his crimes, Shawn should pay dearly, and never taste freedom ever again. He has a history of criminal charges which proves that he will not change, and may kill someone next time.

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home-invasion2

I needed to post the video for it reminded me of what I witnessed as a child. I still have memories of my mother being beaten the very way this woman was – her child will never forget either. I am shaking as I type this post. There is tightness in my chest – this took me back to a day that was pressed down deep within my memory. I am trying not to cry.

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It is my hope that domestic abusers watch this video and see themselves. This is what they do behind closed doors. Let me just address them directly.

Abusers – you should be ashamed of yourselves! See yourself in this video and REPENT! You beat down innocent and defenseless women; scar their children for life – and for what? To prove that you are a man? I am so very angry today! I am hurting and praying for all the women you hurt. Most of all, I pray that you will find God and change. There is no excuse for the terror that you dish out, no excuse at all.

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One day you will stand before God and give an account. Look at the video, see yourself as God sees you and decide how you will answer. My guess is you will be so frightened before our Creator, reduced to weak knees with fright that you will be at a loss for words – your very heart will fail you.

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Shawn arrest

You think that what you do behind closed doors is not seen by anyone – not so. Just as you look at this video and witness the evil and ugly truth of violence against women – so does God:

5And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. 6And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart. Genesis 6:5-6

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Abusers, you are grieving the very heart of God. Each time you hurt one of His children, you are ripping His heart apart. You feel safe behind closed doors as if no one sees your ugly deeds, but you are very wrong.

10But why dost thou judge thy brother? or why dost thou set at nought thy brother? for we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ.

11For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.

12So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.

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china man beats woman

When you brutalize your loved ones, you are passing judgment upon them. You have deemed them guilty of trespassing your warped sense of right and wrong – and sentenced them to vicious beatings and mistreatment. You regard the abused with contempt, you despise them, and you hate God and His righteousness. Why? Did God treat you this way when you made mistakes?

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Perhaps someone abused and misused you as a child. Should that not be enough reason not to hurt others as you have been hurt? Why are you so angry? The Bible says:

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” Ephesians 4:31

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This means that you are in charge of your anger. It also means that God will help you to “put away from you” the destructive emotions that cause you to lash out unjustly – if your heart is teachable. Whatever fears you have, abandonment, not being good enough – whatever – God can, and is willing to help you. But first, you must admit that you have a problem with a lack of self-control. I know, for I was once an angry person, and I felt I had every right to be considering what I had to endure in my mother’s house. But I lashed out in the wrong way – and used the smallest disagreements to vent my frustrations. It wasn’t until I acknowledged to God that I had a problem with anger – and I did not know for most of my life – that God was able to wash me clean of bitterness.

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man-beats-woman

Let me ask you this – does it matter to you that you will damage a child for life? When children witness domestic violence and abuse, your brutal actions and verbal tirades short circuit their emotional growth, plant seeds of fear, and instill negative and hurtful memories for life. Are you bold enough to stand before God and give an account? God may not approve of our actions, but He loves all mankind – especially children. When you abuse and rape, you abuse and rape the heart of God.

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“If anyone causes one of these little ones–those who believe in me–to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” Matthew 18:6

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“If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left,” Hebrews 10:26

“How much more severely do you think someone deserves to be punished who has trampled the Son of God underfoot, who has treated as an unholy thing the blood of the covenant that sanctified them, and who has insulted the Spirit of grace?” Hebrews 10:29

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“All this I have seen and applied my mind to every deed that has been done under the sun wherein a man has exercised authority over another man to his hurt.” Ecclesiastes 8:9

“When you sin against them in this way and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ.” 1 Corinthians 8:12

And I saw something else under the sun: In the place of judgment–wickedness was there, in the place of justice–wickedness was there.” Ecclesiastes 3:16

“Again I looked and saw all the oppression that was taking place under the sun: I saw the tears of the oppressed– and they have no comforter; power was on the side of their oppressors– and they have no comforter.”  Ecclesiastes 4:1

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GodLooksAtTheHeart

“Shawn Custis has been charged with first-degree attempted murder, first-degree robbery, second-degree burglary and two counts of endangering the welfare of a child, according to Kathy Carter, a spokeswoman for the prosecutor’s office.”

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Any man who beats a woman, wife, girlfriend – whoever, should be charged with “attempted murder.” To what “degree” I don’t know, but abusers should not get away with a slap on the wrist – especially when the violence is carried out in front of children.

Until our world understands that what took place in this video is the face of domestic violence, nothing much will change. Domestic violence is a crime! The fact that it happens mostly behind closed doors does not lessen the severity and criminal element of the acts. It can happen to anyone, at any time.

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This video opened an old wound, and there will always be triggers. I am outraged by the vicious attack on this woman in the security of her own home. And yet, this happens every day in America – women brutalized and killed by deranged evil abusers in a place they should feel the safest – home. Will this open your eyes now????

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I believe every Pastor should see this video, and then they may not be so quick to send the abused back to their abusers. Perhaps then they will understand that cooking better, keeping quiet, being more intimate and the like is not the problem concerning abuse. Abusers are the problem period!

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wife_beating

Shawn plead “Not Guilty” – really Shawn?

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Comments concerning the brutality of Shawn Custis:

We believe it was his intent to kill the woman,” Chief Assistant Prosecutor Thomas Fennelly said. (Could we not say the same concerning domestic abusers? The highlighted words below is describe what the abused suffer every day!)

  • ·         A brutal mid-morning New Jersey home invasion
  • ·         an assault
  • ·         mother suffered a vicious beating at the hands of the 5-foot-11, 210-pound suspect
  • ·         chilling video captured the entire midday attack
  • ·         “He bombards her and starts wailing away.”
  • ·         The suspect throws the woman down, punches her several times in the face before picking her up and throwing her down. He goes upstairs to ransack the bedroom and as he returns, kicks the woman in the face as she struggles to regain her feet.
  • ·         … “she moans.”
  • ·         “He’s a lefty, every punch and kick was lefty,”
  • ·         his reactions were violent.
  • ·         “There was no reason for it, she would have given him anything he wanted,” Palardy said.
  • ·         In his final sickening act, the man throws her mother down the steps,
  • ·         The stunning, midday attack is so shocking
  • ·         The woman was treated at the hospital for leg and face injuries suffered at the man’s hands.
  • ·         “They wanted to show how violent this person is because they want him caught as much as we do,” Palardy said. “And we’re not going to sleep until this guy is caught.”
  • Thankfully she’s ok, physically; but you never know the emotional scars left on her, her daughter, and her husband who probably feels guilty that he wasn’t around to stop this beast!

dead woman

“The question arises in a case like this: “What Would You Do?”; but I think the answers will be obvious.”

Here are some of the answers to the above question:

  • Let’s hope someone in the community takes care of this animal the same way he treaded this lady. Waste of time going though the legal system.
  • He should be shot on sight.
  • 4 words…..tall tree, short rope.
  • They caught him and he is pleading not guilty, I hope they lock him up and throw away the key on this piece of garbage
  • i agree. As a young black man.. This is horrifying… sickening… He needs to be thrown in prison and then they should throw away the key… Bad enough black men have a bad rep, this doesnt help at all…

beat-up-women-513

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Now my questions are:

Why no outrage concerning domestic violence and abuse? Why is the church silent? Why do Preachers send the abused back to what we witnessed in the video? Why no concern for the women who suffer this evil every day of their lives and some die? What makes this crime different besides the fact that this was a home invasion? The action of the perpetrators are the same are they not – both robber and abuser?

Most of all, why do we close our eyes? This level of brutality happens in American homes and around the world daily – 24-7. Worst of all, many perpetrators are so-called “Christians.” Why????

“but when people in the community see what it really looks like that’s why we got the outpouring of assistance that we did.”

OK world, now you have had an opportunity to “see what it really looks like,”  – the evil of domestic violence – what are you going to do about it?

If you see yourself as the aggressor in this video and you continue, you really have no heart.

Sigh….

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women in hospital

Woman allegedly professes love for man who beat her with baseball bat

“When KCTV5 last spoke to Taylor, she said she hoped to inspire other women and girls to stand up against domestic violence and break the silence.”

“You can stand up for yourself. There’s ways you can do it, even if you have to whisper in somebody’s ear and have somebody else take action for you. There’s always a way to get out,” Taylor said.

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WHY DON’T PEOPLE TALK ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

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DO ABUSERS HAVE A CONSCIENCE?

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DOMESTIC ABUSE IN CHRISTIAN HOMES – Recommended Reading

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Prayer-Request2Please click on picture to request prayer.

http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org. – 2013

All rights reserved.

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Posted by on July 6, 2013 in VIOLENCE AMONG US

 

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THE BULLY IN YOUR BED

By Terry Loving

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

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THE BULLY PROJECT is a much needed endeavor to shed light on bullying amongst young people.  Numerous children suffer in silence for they are ashamed to tell anyone what is happening to them at school, on the playground, and in various social settings.

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While reading the information on The Bully Project’s website, it stood out that the dynamics of bullying are closely related to domestic abuse. There are slight variations such as children verses adults, and home verses school settings. However, the characteristics of the bully and abuser are very similar, and exact in many cases. The same goes for the victims of bullies; they closely mirror victims of domestic abuse, in character and suffering.

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I conclude therefore, the same bullies on the playground may grow up to terrorize their wives, girlfriends, and other companions. Their children may be on the receiving end of a child bully now fully grown, possessing the same hatefulness that slammed an innocent child’s head in a locker when he was 10-years old.

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One of the project’s goal is to have “Parents play a vital role in supporting their kids, promoting upstander rather than bystander behavior, and teaching and modeling empathy in the home.” The latter part is where bullying begins, “in the home.” If Johnny sees a father or boyfriend beating his mother constantly, he more than likely will mimic the behavior. Not all children who witness domestic abuse will become violent abusers. However, they will be affected negatively in some way just the same.

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Many abused women sleep beside a bully every night – “a tormentor, oppressor, aggressor, persecutor, tyrant, and intimidator.” The actions in the home are no different than what bullies exhibit in the classroom and other public places. School yard bullies “intimidate, terrorize, persecute, torment, frighten, oppress, browbeat, and harass.” Could we not say the same about domestic abusers?

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According to The Bully Project, the definition of “bully” “varies” – but most people agree that bullying amounts to:

  1. AN IMBALANCE OF POWER: people who bully use their power to control or harm and the people being bullied may have a hard time defending themselves.
  2. INTENT TO CAUSE HARM: actions done by accident are not bullying; the person bullying has a goal to cause harm.
  3. REPETITION: incidents of bullying happen to the same person over and over by the same person or group.

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Now, can you honestly read the above and conclude that domestic abusers are not BULLIES? ABUSERS ARE BULLIES! Many adult bullies were once playground bullies. I will say it again, ABUSERS ARE BULLIES! Even the types of bullying listed fit the motive operandi of domestic abusers:

  1. VERBAL: name calling and teasing
  2. SOCIAL: spreading rumors, leaving people out on purpose, break up friendships.
  3. PHYSICAL: hitting, punching, and shoving.
  4. CYBERBULLYING: using the Internet, mobile phones, or other digital technologies to harm others.

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One of the quotes on their site from “Kelby” states:

“You can always count on something happening when you’re walking down the hall at school…”

In domestic violence situations, the abused “can always count on something happening” as well. The “honeymoon stage” is not a reliable predictor of the imminent violence, however, there is usually calm before a storm.

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In addition, “Bullying often does not happen in an isolated context, with a single tormentor and victim.” This is the opposite view of domestic abuse. The abused usually have a “single tormentor” and most always are the “victim.” There may be exceptions where different cultures and families side with the abusers, and gang up on the abused – physically and mentally. But the norm is the abused are “isolated” from support and live with a bully in secret. Another similarity is, “… the person being bullied does not know how or does not have the power to make it stop.” The abused seek answers to this dilemma every day through prayer, Internet research, talking to trusted confidants and the like.

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Bullying causes many young people to become depressed and withdrawn. We hear stories all the time about the bullied teen that committed suicide. What we do not hear often is the number of abused persons who kill themselves for they see no other way out of domestic terrorism. The Bully Project also states that “Over 13 million American kids will be bullied this year…” Domestic abuse is a worldwide epidemic!

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Lastly, “empathy” is mentioned as a key ingredient to ending bullying. This can also be said for domestic violence. When we learn to treat others with understanding, compassion, and caring about the feelings of another, then and only then will we see progress. If children witness hatred, abuse and violence in their homes, how can they know to treat others with kindness? Another reason why some kids are so angry is the fact that they are abused themselves.

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Ephesians 6:4 teaches – “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Many children grow up in hellish environments with an abusive caregiver short circuiting their development with abuse. The helplessness they feel is often transferred to their peers or siblings. The little abusers often grow up to be big abusers – weighing more, taller, more powerful – and capable of much more damage to others.

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Barnes’ Notes on the Bible

“And ye fathers – A command addressed particularly to “fathers,” because they are at the head of the family, and its government is especially committed to them. The object of the apostle here is, to show parents that their commands should be such that they can be easily obeyed, or such as are entirely reasonable and proper. If children are required to “obey,” it is but reasonable that the commands of the parent should be such that they can be obeyed, or such that the child shall not be discouraged in his attempt to obey.”

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“Provoke not your children to wrath – That is, by unreasonable commands; by needless severity; by the manifestation of anger. So govern them, and so punish them – if punishment is necessary – that they shall not lose their confidence in you, but shall love you. The apostle here has hit on the very danger to which parents are most exposed in the government of their children. It is that of souring their temper; of making them feel that the parent is under the influence of anger, and that it is right for them to be so too. This is done:

(1) when the commands of a parent are unreasonable and severe. The spirit of a child then becomes irritated, and he is “discouraged;” Colossians 3:21.

(2) when a parent is evidently “excited” when he punishes a child. The child then feels:

(a) that if his “father” is angry, it is not wrong for him to be angry; and,

(b) the very fact of anger in a parent kindles anger in his bosom – just as it does when two men are contending.”

The opposite is permissive parenting. There are parents who see no wrong in much of anything their child does. Therefore, if there are no consequences at home, a bully will not expect them elsewhere.

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Proverbs 19:18 “Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.”

Proverbs 22:15 “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.”

Proverbs 23:13 “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.”

Proverbs 23:14 “Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death.”

Proverbs 29:15 “The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.”

NOTE: The above scriptures are not referring to physical abuse – beatings with ironing cords, sticks, bats, or any type of abusive corrections.

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The bully that sleeps beside you at night may have been angered and hurt by a parent or caregiver. Or, he or she has lived a life of entitlement, and therefore expects everyone to bow to their every whim. Yes, children are influenced by society – peer pressure, movies, television, and a host of other inventions of the devil. However, it is within our homes that we breed little terrorist who become tomorrow’s abusers.

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The only way parents are going to promote “empathy” in the home is with the Word of God.

American King James Version
“All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:”

The Bully Project is a wonderful idea. Surely it will take a village for “bystanders” to become “upstanders.” However without changed hearts, and walking in a new direction – spiritually – this and many other efforts to cease violence within our society may prove to be in vain. I am not putting their efforts down, but I am emphasizing the teaching of God’s Word in our homes and our church environments. Our heavenly Father is no longer welcome in our schools; therefore Christian parents especially are responsible for the spiritual wellbeing of their children.

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We have a whole generation of young people lost and out of control. It seems like people are making babies, and leaving them to fend for themselves. The “village” is gone; Christian parenting is falling by the wayside; the sensuality of the world has captured the hearts and minds of our young; the devil is killing kids with drugs and alcohol; teen pregnancy is now a badge of honor; domestic violence is warping young minds and short circuiting their God given potential – and our churches for the most part preach prosperity to a dying world – why?

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The next time you watch the bully in your bed slumber, remember that it is not your fault that he or she is the way they are. Someone failed them somewhere along the line, and it was not you. The mold was set, the die cast long before your paths crossed. Your bully could have been a terror on the playground, threw chairs in kindergarten, or broke his little sister’s arm – but he is still without excuse for what he does to you. The bully in your bed is responsible for his actions – and no one else. YOU  the abused – CANNOT “FIX” A BULLY!

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Many children grow up with violence and abuse, but they choose not to do unto others what has been done to them. Violence is a choice – from the bully on the playground to the bully in your life. ABUSERS ARE BULLIES! Make no mistake about it. Get help – get free.

Peace.

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Video Of Bully Victim Casey Heynes Bodyslamming His Bully

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Study: Schoolyard Bullies Four Times More Likely to Abuse Spouses as Adults

“Research does indicate that in many cases, the bullies are getting their behavior from somewhere. They have witnessed like behavior,” said Warner. “One of the biggest risk factors is their environment.”

“The study also found a link between “bullying others at school and perpetration of IPV (intimate partner violence].”

“It was the latest study to indicate that many bullies do not outgrow their aggression. Past research has shown that bullies are at a higher risk of bullying their own kids, losing a job, and getting involved in the criminal justice system.”

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Bullies face prosecution in domestic violence crackdown

“Men who bully or abuse their partners in a “controlling” fashion could face criminal charges under a shake-up of domestic violence laws being planned by ministers.”

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Violence in the Family by Deborah Carpenter with Christopher J. Ferguson, Ph.D.

…”what if what the little girl sees is mommy yelling at the bank teller, insulting the grocery clerk, and badmouthing the other moms in the playgroup? And what if the young boy sees his father berating his mother, insulting the dinner she’s made, and tossing his fork across the room after he pronounces the evening meal disgusting and inedible? What if these kids witness more severe forms of domestic violence? What then?”

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Bullying is Domestic Violence At Work

The abuser is on the payroll!

“In 98% of domestic violence cases, the perpetrator is the man. In bullying, the majority of abusers, 62%, are male; women are famously perpetrators, too. So, regardless of gender, the bully-abuser dehumanizes her or his prey. She can have such contempt for the target that she refuses to grant even the minimal respect due to a fellow human being. Dehumanization enables the severe mistreatment. When the recipient is not seen as an equal, it is easy to denigrate, belittle and humiliate. The target is a lesser-than object not deserving decent treatment.”

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Domestic Violence and the Holocaust — 10 Similarities

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Movie Review: Bully – Uncovering The Desperate Cries For Help

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How does a Child become a Bully?

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Police handcuff Ga. kindergartner for tantrum

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stopbullying.gov

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THE BULLY ROUNDUP

“Bullies aren’t all big and muscle-y. Bullies come in all shapes and sizes — and it’s not like you can tell who they are by what they look like. You can only tell a bully by their actions — they make themselves feel powerful by threatening, embarrassing, or hurting others. If you have ever been around a bully or been picked on by a bully, you know how hurtful they can be. But, there are things you can do to stay out of a bully’s way.”

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BULLYING AMONG GIRLS

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The ABCs of Bullying
Addressing, Blocking, and Curbing School Aggression

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Bullying in America’s schools

(This link has many videos to view on bullying)

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Domestic Violence class for Bullies

“Bullies in school who bully other children are guilty of domestic abuse.”

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NJ bully’s paralyzing punch nets $4.2M settlement

“Sawyer was punched in the abdomen at school on May 16, 2006, dropping him to his knees. When he came home that day he complained of pain in his back but otherwise felt fine, his father, Joel Rosenstein, told The Record of Woodland Park.

Two days later, the seventh-grader let out a scream in his bedroom.

“We picked him up and called an ambulance,” the father told the newspaper. “He hasn’t walked since.”

The blow had caused a clot in a major artery that supplies blood to his spine, leaving him paralyzed from the waist down from what his attorney described as an “incredibly rare” injury.

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“This action-packed family film stars Steve Austin as Dan Barnes, a former pro boxer who retired after growing weary of his violent existence. Now a school janitor, Dan tries to help a new student, Matthew Miller (Daniel Magder), who is being targeted by bullies. While Matthew learns how to box and stand up to his tormenters, one of whom is the school boxing champ, Dan’s newfound role as a teacher helps him come to terms with his tumultuous past.”     http://movies.netflix.com/movie/Knockout/70170176

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‘Bye dad’: Last words of boy who was bullied at school for months before he leapt off motorway bridge

By Daily Mail Reporter
UPDATED:03:24 EST, 21 May 2010

“A quiet, studious and sensitive youngster, despite being an ‘exemplary’ pupil, school prefect and destined to study computing and business at university, the youngster told his father the school had ‘ruined my life’ then ran to a bridge over the M6 motorway and leapt over the side.”

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Can a Kid Be a Psychopath?

“I’ve always said that Michael will grow up to be either a Nobel Prize winner or a serial killer,” his mother, Anne, tells Jennifer Kahn in a recent shocking New York Times Magazine article. At age 9, her son has an extreme temper, lashing out violently and deliberately and showing no empathy or remorse. He’s intelligent, cold, calculating, and explosive. “It takes a toll,” she says, explaining her comment. “There’s not a lot of joy and happiness in raising Michael.”

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Some healing for woman bullied as a teen

“A woman who was bullied mercilessly in high school 25 years ago has gotten some closure from a class reunion page on Facebook.”

“Lynda Frederick, a graduate of Orange Glen High in Escondido, Calif., in 1987, posted a heartbreaking poem about her experience on her school’s 25th class reunion page.”

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Florida Mom Arrested for Choking 14-Year-Old Bully Offers Advice to Parents

“They have all these anti-bully laws but, when it comes down to it, it falls on deaf ears.”

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http://spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 20092012
All rights reserved.

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Posted by on April 15, 2012 in VIOLENCE AMONG US

 

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FATHER – PLEASE OPEN OUR EYES

By Terry Loving

Open Our Eyes Lyrics

Performed by- Milton Brunson

Verse:
Father, open our eyes
that we may see to follow Thee, Lord.
Grant us us Thy loving peace
and let all dissension cease.
And let our faith each day increase,
and Master, Lord, please open our eyes,
(oh, oh, open our eyes).

Bridge:
Oh, He has given us (hills and mountains),
He has given us (level plains).
He has given us (food and clothing),
Given us shelter (from the storm and rain).

Oh and with all He’s provided,
always hurting one another;
just can’t, can’t be content,
always fighting one another.

(You promised to look upon us with compassion),
(You promised to hear us when we cry);
(smile down on Your helpless children),
(oh Master, come on and open our eyes).

Vamp:
Oh, oh.

Ending:
Oh, oh, open our eyes.

I haven’t heard Milton Brunson’s version of this song, and this is the only link I found with most of the lyrics intact. Really, I am fond of the Gospel Clefs version, for I grew up with old time gospel music with lyrics that touched your soul deeply.

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Anyway, I just finished watching “Letters to God,” an awesome movie. It was about Tyler Doughtie, a 9-year old who died from brain cancer. It was said that Tyler wasn’t just writing letters to God, “He was praying.” He was a very self-less soul that asked God for what was beneficial for his family and his best friend, and he did not focus on himself with self-pity. Tyler wanted to live, but accepted the fact that he would not.

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I started thinking about the condition of our world today, and felt sorrowful. There are many Tylers’ in this world who want to live, just be a kid and have a normal life. They do not understand why they are sick, and why they have to suffer so. They just want to run, skip, hop, play, laugh, roll around in the grass and just feel free – be happy kids.

And then I think about all of the poor children who are physically healthy – who are being damaged emotionally and in so many other ways. They too just want to be happy kids, and not contend with violence and abuse in their homes. I remember what it was like to hide in closets, under the bed, and cry myself to sleep. The memories of creepy scary adults will always be with me.

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When I think about the lyrics to this song, the writer must have felt the way I feel sometimes – mournful. The way Jesus felt – “He wept.” God has given human beings so much, and we just mess up everything – especially for the next generations. Human beings are so selfish! Domestic violence and abuse is not only about power and control, but pure evil selfishness. Perpetrators do not care about anyone but themselves – beating and demanding out of innocent people what love would have given freely.

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I hate what this world has become and the evil that lives within our homes. People, little people, middle aged, and many folks are praying for another day to just open their eyes. Tyler wanted to play soccer, just be a kid and enjoy life. He was blessed to have a loving family and peace in his home. He died peacefully in his bed surrounded by family and friends. He went home to our heavenly Father peacefully, while so many children reach heaven by way of torture, abuse, and hatred fueled by the devil himself.

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More and more parents are killing their own children, and in such horrendous ways. Fathers are taking out their whole families, even other relatives if they are in the home as well. Josh Powell killed his two sons with an ax, and burned down the house with them and himself inside. There is a rash of murder-suicides in the news lately. If you want to check out, fine! But can you just leave the kids out of it? Most, if not all of these people who murder and then kill themselves are going to be shocked on the other side. They may think they are escaping punishment on earth – but I bet God has bad news for them.

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Americans live in the greatest country on the planet, and yet – we are fussing and fighting over many things that do not matter at all. Selfish hearts are destroying their own families, and demanding to be placed on pedestals, when they should be down on their faces prostrate before Almighty God begging forgiveness. People risk their lives crossing the border, and oceans just to taste what we in America take for granted – we are selfish and self-centered – the core of many of our social ills.

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False preachers are damning many souls straight to hell, and all for financial gain. The devil is having a field day in American churches, and the people of God are spiritually sleeping with their eyes wide open. Oh Father, I do pray for us to open our eyes. All the material things that we fight over will rot and decay. Nothing we own will follow us to either heaven or hell. As the saying goes, “You never see a u-haul behind a hearse.” This world and life as we know it is temporary. Please open our eyes.

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I guess I am just letting it out right now.

Maybe our country has too much freedom, I don’t know. But then again, America has a serious sin problem. As a country, we are in big trouble in many ways. My Redeemer lives, therefore I have peace within my soul. I just hurt for those who suffer at the hands of selfish evil people, who only demand what is beneficial for them. My heart especially is sorrowful for the children. Satan does not discriminate when it comes to destroying a soul. What a world.

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In his dying, Tyler became a “warrior” for God, touching many souls, and turning their hearts towards heaven. Isn’t that what life is supposed to be about? Especially since this is all temporary anyway?

Perhaps many adults out there need to sit down and write a letter to God. You know who you are.

Thanks for listening, just needed to rant for a minute. Father, please open our eyes before it is too late.

Peace

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.”

Daniel 9:3 “So I turned to the Lord God and pleaded with him in prayer and petition, in fasting, and in sackcloth and ashes.”

New American Standard Bible (©1995)
“Because lawlessness is increased, most people’s love will grow cold.

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http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009-2012
All rights reserved.

 
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Posted by on February 8, 2012 in VIOLENCE AMONG US

 

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EX-ABUSERS – SHOULD THEY REVEAL THEIR PAST?

Lithography. Drunk father.

Image via Wikipedia

By Terry Loving

I am soliciting opinions about abusers telling new loves that they were once abusive – should they? Male or female – should they come clean about how badly they treated those they once claimed to love? Would you?

This is a tricky one – since too many people these days have a hard time telling the truth. If a man doesn’t reveal that he is HIV positive, most likely he won’t tell you that he threw his ex-wife down the stairs – many times – just my two-cents.

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I would imagine if a brave soul confessed his past abuse, he would have a hard time getting a date – or not. Most women have soft hearts, and are ever looking for a human project. Those who buy into the “male shortage,” or lack self-love don’t mind a “fixer-upper.” Women also tend to be very gullible – been there. On that note, some women would believe 100% that the former abuser has really changed. How would they really know?

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If you are a reformed abuser, did you reveal your past? How was this information received? Did it hurt or help you? Are you still with the person you confided in? Do you know someone who tried to be transparent, only to have this revelation backfire?

I don’t feel sorry for abusers, or those who trap the unsuspecting in domestic violence. From personal experience, they don’t fess up about dominating others with violence and abuse. You may get a half – truth, or a mere mention of some trouble in the past, but mostly the subject will not come up voluntarily.

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Speaking from experience, abusers won’t fess up to domination by abuse. What is your take on this subject? Let me hear from you out there, OK?

ABUSERS DATABASE

This link provided detailed information on abusers who have protection orders filed against them in court. Due to the fact that this database is in the process of being updated, you may not find all the names as yet. However, it is a good resource to have, especially when considering a new love. Some names will have pictures, and others will just have the information. Please be careful out there.

http://www.domesticviolencedatabase.org/

http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org/

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009
All rights reserved.

 
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Posted by on October 9, 2010 in VIOLENCE AMONG US

 

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