11 Aug

By Terry Loving

If there were no abusers, we would not have those who are abused.

And when ye pray, ye shall not be as the hypocrites: for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have received their reward. But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thine inner chamber, and having shut thy door, pray to thy Father who is in secret, and thy Father who seeth in secret shall recompense thee.

And in praying use not vain repetitions, as the Gentiles do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking. Be not therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.

After this manner therefore pray ye. Our Father who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, as in heaven, so on earth.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And bring us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.

For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.

Matthew 6:13


For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” 1


Most Holy Father in heaven, I humbly ask that you honor this prayer on behalf of those who are known as “abusers,” who hurt others, known as the “abused.” It is true that many who inflict pain upon others have been hurt themselves. Only You and those who have been sinned against understand the source of discouragement, betrayal, and pain. Therefore, only You and those who have been hurt can work together to embrace healing and restoration. Only You can access the dark places within our souls to touch that which is hiding, festering, and causing inner turmoil – and fighting without.


Father, please touch the inner child within all of us who have been hurt by those who we once trusted. Seek out the anger that grew from pain, and enlighten those who lash out that there is a better way to live. Help those who hate themselves to not destroy others who are made in Your image. Give them hope, and send your Holy Spirit to call upon each one to turn unto You and be healed. Show those who abuse, kill, maim, and spew forth venom that the source of their actions is hell – not heaven. Call upon those who have lost faith in You to renew – and the disbelievers to see the Light.


I pray Father most of all, that the abusers who stand before Your sheep and preach will see the error of their ways. Visit them upon their beds, and not allow rest until they repent – torture their souls towards repentance, so they can be healed – and bring Your undiluted Truth to this dark and lost world. You are forever faithful Father, and You are a just God – please bring repentance and restoration among believers, so that our lights will once again shine in America – and especially within our homes.


For those who desire to stop abusing others, please guide them, direct them to much needed help. It is Your Word and Power that they need, therefore, I beseech Thee to raise up warriors that are unafraid to speak Your truth so both the abusers and abused may find healing and peace within their souls. Hear the petitions of both, and answer according to Your almighty will. Lead abusers and those who they hurt to Your Word – to be embraced – and hidden within their hearts. Lead them to Your everlasting promises that can be theirs – if only they repent and turn unto You.


I pray with Your help and guidance that we take back our homes from the evil one – Satan. Help abusers to yield to Your divine will only – and flee from the chains of darkness. Forgive our selfishness, pride, anger, injustice and most of all – SIN.

Rebuke spiritual leaders that are causing many to turn away from You. Help them to change so that those who are hurting, confused, angry, and disillusioned by this world will come to know Your true heart – that You love Your creation – and desire that none should perish.


Rebuke those who hurt innocent children – the center of your Heart. Show the abusers their lives, and bring upon their memories the pain that they have caused others. Some people are just hate filled for no real reason – touch them as well – heal them, make them fit for use within Your kingdom. Help us to break the cycle of violence and abuse within our homes Father – especially within our Christian homes.


True believers understand that someday you will end the wickedness of mankind, until then, please visit us in mercy – fill our hearts with godly repentance – give us more time to spread Your truth and help others in darkness to see Your marvelous Light. As we lift up our Lord Jesus Christ – give your spiritual warriors courage to reach into the darkness to snatch many from the eternal damnation meant for the devil and his angels.

Thank you for listening to this prayer Father. As I strive to do your Holy Will, please continue to bless me with spiritual courage. I praise Your Holy name.

In the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior I pray.

Thy will be done.



NOTE: I welcome the prayers of the children of God who desire to add to this petition. Please note that this is a Christian web site.


REASONS TO PRAY (Among many)


1 John 5:19 “We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one.”


New Living Translation (©2007)
“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.”


1 Kings 13:6 “Then the king said to the man of God, “Intercede with the LORD your God and pray for me that my hand may be restored.” So the man of God interceded with the LORD, and the king’s hand was restored and became as it was before.”


2 Chronicles 30:20 “And the LORD heard Hezekiah and healed the people.”

John 9:31 “We know that God does not listen to sinners. He listens to the godly man who does his will.”


“To acknowledge our faults to each other, will tend greatly to peace and brotherly love. And when a righteous person, a true believer, justified in Christ, and by his grace walking before God in holy obedience, presents an effectual fervent prayer, wrought in his heart by the power of the Holy Spirit, raising holy affections and believing expectations and so leading earnestly to plead the promises of God at his mercy-seat, it avails much.”

“The power of prayer is proved from the history of Elijah. In prayer we must not look to the merit of man, but to the grace of God. It is not enough to say a prayer, but we must pray in prayer. Thoughts must be fixed, desires must be firm and ardent, and graces exercised. This instance of the power of prayer, encourages every Christian to be earnest in prayer. God never says to any of the seed of Jacob, Seek my face in vain. Where there may not be so much of miracle in God’s answering our prayers, yet there may be as much of grace.”

Matthew Henry

“…even the most stubborn kind of devils have been dislodged by fasting and prayer:”

“prayer: it has often been the means of preserving kingdoms and nations, when invaded by enemies, as the instances of Jehoshaphat and Hezekiah show; and of removing judgments from a people, as was often done…”

Our Victory in Christ

In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

      And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:26-27)




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© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 20092011
All rights reserved.


Posted by on August 11, 2011 in According To His Word


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  1. NormaJean Longoria

    October 18, 2011 at 8:37 am

    I dont know where to begin, I to have gone thru the abuse and sadly nothing was done, though I was able to pull away from worst things happening. Yes I was lucky, or was I ? I kept everything inside and lived a life that was sad. Now my daughter is sufferring from my past. But God has answerred my prayers and now her abuser is seeking help. I went to bed praying only for her and my grandaughter, if you could only imagine. Then I read this prayer ! I had been praying wrong or being scared,selfish, with all the other mixed emotions…Thankyou I needed this, there is so much more involved in cases like this and so hard for others to understand.

    • ssofdv

      October 18, 2011 at 3:00 pm

      Hello NormaJean Longoria,

      You are welcome!

      I am sorry to hear that your loved ones are suffering this evil. It is my prayer that they will be safe while the abuser is seeking help. It is a sad fact that children who witness domestic violence will identify with either the abused, or the abuser. Please help your daughter to understand that she is not responsible in any way for a “rare” successful outcome of whatever means of “help” her abuser is seeking.

      While I am happy to hear that you have survived your ordeal – there is concern for your daughter and grandchild. If an abuser does change, it takes time, spiritual counseling, acknowledgement, and repentance. We should pray for both the abused and abuser. However, one must desire to change, seek to change, commit to change, and acknowledge their sin of violence in order to head in the right direction. Abusers can be cunning when they fear losing control. Promises to seek counseling and never be violent again often are used to maintain control of the relationship. I pray this is the miracle you have been praying for.

      When you only prayed for your daughter and grand-daughter, you were not being “selfish.” You were as you have stated, “scared” – and rightly so. Domestic violence can be deadly. You were not praying “wrong” – you are a mother. No one enjoys seeing their children hurt in any form. It isn’t “selfish” to pray for a way of escape for the abused. Domestic violence can bring out feelings that we never thought possible. When we are experiencing the abuse, it is bad. But when our children – especially our daughters are going through it, it is worst.

      From our own experiences we remember the terror and pain, and hurt when we know that our child is traveling the same hellish pathway we have traveled. We may not completely comprehend all that happened to us when we experienced violence first hand. However, we see a clearer picture, and understand the possible dire consequences when we witness our loved ones suffering the same fate. We look into the mirror of our own lives.

      And yet, “there is so much more involved in cases like this and so hard for others to understand.” I agree. And unless you have walked this road, and educated yourself about domestic violence, you may not understand the full dynamics involved. I know you understand.

      It is easy to despise the abusers of our children, and it is not difficult to exclude them from our prayers. At the same time, we must pray for all involved. Why pray for the abusers? So they can see the light of the evil they commit. In doing so, hopefully pride won’t stand between them and repentance. Perhaps our prayers will be answered, and our loved ones, and some other poor soul will be spared this atrocity. Besides, not every abused person leaves right away, and some do not leave at all. Our prayers should cover all involved, but they must be warrior prayers – praying scriptures, and speaking the Word of God over the situation. Our words are feeble, but the Word of God is POWER!

      What is paramount however is the safety of the abused. Especially when there are children involved. We can pray, but we must not let our guards down.

      Thank you for sharing your story. I will pray for your family, and all the abused who suffer.


  2. Keisha

    April 29, 2012 at 7:02 am

    Recently, I lashed out and hit/slapped my new boyfriend (now ex-boyfriend) in the face. I think I acted out every hurt/slight/pain that I’d ever felt in angry action against him. I have been too ashamed to see/call/text him and apologize. I did e-mail him just before I looked up this site. I am hoping my apology is received as an apology. I hope he can forgive me someday (I am having a hard time forgiving myself). It is not an effort to continue a relationship with him, but to make some amends. What could I ever do to make amends?

    • ssofdv

      April 29, 2012 at 12:00 pm

      Hello Keisha,

      I am very sorry to hear of your situation. When we allow our anger to control our actions, we often hurt those who are close to us. Many people view a slap in the face as an insult. Abuse itself is quite belittling and many people never get over it. Regardless of what you were angry about, you took the situation to a point of no return in the eyes of many abused persons. An apology may or may not be accepted by your ex-boyfriend, and this is something that you may have to live with.

      There are many ways in which you can offer your apology; however, you may have to accept the fact that the efforts may not be acknowledged. It takes time for an abused person to come to grips with an abusive situation. An apology by any means does not erase the hurt. Taking ownership for wrong is commendable and should be done as quickly as possible. On the other hand, contemplating why you desire acceptance of your apology should also be acknowledged. Meaning, if you ponder and perhaps write down the reasons why you need to ask for forgiveness, perhaps this behavior will not be repeated in the future. Ask yourself why you feel sorrowful, and why it is important to have this person’s forgiveness.

      Most importantly, ask yourself why you are so angry. If your ex-boyfriend hurt you in some way, ask yourself could you not have handled the situation differently. Obviously you feel that your choice to abuse was wrong – otherwise you would not be concerned about being forgiven. You can email, send a letter, leave a voice mail, or apologize through another person. But please understand that no response means that the hurt is still fresh, and it will take time for the other person to digest what happened. Continuous efforts to make amends in many cases will only annoy the other person, and they may turn the table with anger of their own towards you. If you know that you have made every effort to make amends, leave the rest in the hands of God.

      I understand your shame, however it may be received as your feeling justified for hurting someone. Your remorse is a good thing; it shows your heart is able to change. But you must put the shame aside long enough to face your ex with the truth – you allowed your anger to take control of the situation.

      One way you can learn to forgive yourself is to seek help for your anger issues. Own how you are feeling right now, and ask yourself if you desire to ever feel this way again – or to cause another to be hurt by your anger.

      Advice from the Bible:

      “Christian love and peace with all our brethren; and if at any time there is a quarrel, we should confess our fault, humble ourselves to our brother, making or offering satisfaction for wrong done in word or deed: and we should do this quickly; because, till this is done, we are unfit for communion with God in holy ordinances.” (brother or sister, anyone)

      “Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.”

      Remember this, once you ask God for forgiveness you are forgiven. If you still beat yourself up, you are convicting an innocent person for that particular act.

      I hope this helps.


    April 20, 2013 at 1:36 am

    i lived with a abuser for forty one years he has since left i now dealwith a daughter her not only has bipolar but has become her father so once again it brings back so much for me please pray for melanie

    • ssofdv

      April 20, 2013 at 10:59 am

      Hello Melanie,

      I am very sorry to hear of your situation. On the one hand I am very happy to hear that your abuser has left. But I am sorry to hear about your daughter. It is my hope that you will be able to find help for her as quickly as possible. I will definitely keep you in prayer.


  4. Sandra Briggs

    March 26, 2015 at 5:00 pm

    I had me ex husband broke in and beat me very badly, I suffered many injuries, Even though he had not touch me in 20 years except to beat me. He brutally raped me and beat me until I blacked out. If I file I lose my job. Just asking for healing and someways to deal with this.


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