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WE ARE ON OUR HONEYMOON – AGAIN

07 Mar

By Terry Loving

As the young couple pour over the brightly colored brochures, they are filled with excitement – they are planning their honeymoon. After their wedding, they planned to get away – alone – and enjoy the bliss of holy matrimony. They finally decided on the beach, where they could build sand castles, and swim in the clear blue ocean – play as little children – reliving unabashed joy, setting aside the cares of the world – if only for a little while.

………………………………….

They cherished every moment alone – asked strangers to take their picture as they walked along the shore, and clung to each other for dear life. Soon they would leave their paradise and return to the clamor of life – employment – setting up a home – and getting to know their new extended families. As the children come, they may not be able to afford another get-a-way like this for quite some time.

………………………………….

But oh, the memories of their honeymoon will last a lifetime. They will watch the video over and over again, savoring every moment that was theirs and theirs alone. They vowed to make the beach where they stayed their favorite place – one where they will go to recapture that special place in time. They are in love – happy – and inseparable.

………………………………….

Something happened – something changed – something went terribly wrong. Tension replaced bliss; trust became fear; smiles turned to frowns; yelling replaced sweet whispers; hugs gave way to choking; gentle caresses became pounding fists; sparkling eyes now fill with tears; the violence has begun – it is intense – monstrous – love turns to hate. He apologized.

………………………………….

We are on our honeymoon – again – in our minds.  There is no beach, no pictures, no building sand castles, and no blue ocean. As she watches the video of a happier time, she contemplates the situation, desperately trying to figure out where she went wrong. “What mistakes have I made?” “How can I fix this?” “How can we get back to that blissful time – a time where he said he “loved me”? She does all she can to soothe him, but he is angry – and she cannot figure out why – so she blames herself.

………………………………….

She no longer watches the video. Watching strangers enjoy her happy place is painful.  A new honeymoon has taken its place. It’s never ending, and no longer joyful. It is now a duty – to smile when she wants to cry. He demands that she fix herself up – black eyes are unflattering – he doesn’t care to see them when he rapes her – “Do something about it!” She complies.

………………………………….

As he beats her unmercifully; she tries not to cry out. It is no use anyway – he doesn’t hear her anymore. He doesn’t see the woman he married anymore – she has become a shell – no longer pretty in his eyes. He is filled with disgust, rage, and verbal tirades – and still – she cannot figure out why. “I must be the blame” – she concludes again. She packs away the video, she has a new reality – new memories. She must find a way to endure – until the next honeymoon – she gets a reprieve – but only for a while.

He beat her – brought her flowers – she survived – this time.

………………………………….

CYCLE OF VIOLENCE

“The cycle can happen hundreds of times in an abusive relationship. The total cycle can take anywhere from a few hours to a year or more to complete. It is important to remember that not all domestic violence relationships fit the cycle. Often, as time goes on, the ‘honeymoon’ stages disappear.”

http://www.wccpenang.org/domestic-violence/cycle-of-violence/

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DOMESTIC ABUSE – DOES IT EVER STOP?

https://ssofdv.wordpress.com/2011/02/21/domestic-abuse-does-it-ever-stop/

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“Wife tormented for 8 years before calling 911, prosecutors say”

“According to the Superior Court documents, the abuse began about 10 days after the couple’s honeymoon, when Glass allegedly slammed his wife’s head into a door and injured her eye. The woman, who has a master’s degree and is a nurse, sought medical treatment but did not report the abuse, court documents say.”

………………………………….

http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009
All rights reserved.


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2 Comments

Posted by on March 7, 2011 in CYCLE OF VIOLENCE

 

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2 responses to “WE ARE ON OUR HONEYMOON – AGAIN

  1. moose

    February 19, 2013 at 5:04 pm

    As a 23yrd never in a relationship guy, this story gave me tears. If I ever be in a relation I will make sure the honeymoon vacation that my future wife sees stays forever and ever, every single day in her life, everyday filled with “good morning, goodnight my beautiful angel, and I love you until I die and beyond” that she won’t need to watch a video ever.

     
    • ssofdv

      February 19, 2013 at 5:22 pm

      OH Moose, God bless you!

      To hear a guy express such compassion is what love is all about. No man was more compassionate than Jesus Christ, but He left us with an example. Obviously, you understand true love and care for your future bride. I pray that you find a love that will be fitting for your heart.

      If you get married, I would love a wedding picture for this post and with your comments.

      I pray that God sends you a forever bride. Thank you for stopping by.

      Peace

       

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