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Child’s body found in California canal

01 Feb

By Terry Loving

Four year old Juliani Cardenas was missing since January 18th. He was snatched from the arms of his grandmother by his mother’s ex-boyfriend.  Juliani’s mother, Tabitha Cardenas broke up with Jose Esteban Rodriguez because he was abusive. He physically abused Tabitha,  but stated that Jose “would not purposely drive her son into the water.” The body that was found in a canal hasn’t officially been identified as Juliani’s – although “its physical appearance matches Juliani and the clothing is similar to what the boy was wearing when he was last seen…”

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The comments from readers concerning this story range from sympathy to accusations. Personally, I commend Tabitha Cardenas for leaving violence and abuse, and give her credit for recognizing it for what it is. What I can’t understand is this – how can people blame the mother in this case when she did not give her son to a known abuser? The child was stolen! And why do silly people say at a time like this, “Didn’t she see it coming?”

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Granted, there are domestic violence cases where the signs of ill intent towards the children involved are obvious. Many of these children are beaten, threatened, verbally abused and mistreated just as much as their abused mothers. If something happens to a child in this case, it is almost expected. It is said that Jose “wanted badly to be with Juliani” – but to what extent – death? Tabitha and her mother don’t deserve criticism – they need prayer and all the help they can receive to get through this. Every day of her life Tabitha will be reminded of this tragedy, and will probably admonish herself for getting involved with Jose – she is pregnant with his child.

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Abusers will hurt your children, for it is another way of hurting you. Often times, they can become very jealous of the love and affection shown to your children, and despise them for it. Why? Perhaps they are really angry at their own parents for not loving them the way you love your children. There aren’t many men who will love another man’s children as they should – if they lay claim to loving the mother. There are exceptions, but very few. When you leave, oftentimes revenge is the way abusers respond to the breakup.

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We should applaud those who gather strength to leave abuse, and assist/pray for those who are still trapped. Laying blame at the feet of the abused is not helping them to see the light. Even when they can’t receive the truth, they should hear it – but not in a demeaning way that brings about more guilt and self-condemnation. Family dysfunction is deep rooted, and you never know when you will meet someone who takes their pain out on others as a way of release.

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Our children should be protected above all else, for they cannot fend for themselves. It is a serious mistake to not consider our children when we enter into relationships. As the saying goes, it is a “package deal.” What good comes to the mother comes to the child. And what harm befalls the mother the children share. Men come and go, but your children are yours forever. Save the babies!

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UPDATE: Body confirmed to be Juliani Cardenas

Jose Rodriguez,
who has not been found.

http://www.kolotv.com/californianews/headlines/Sheriff_Childs_Body_Found_in_Central_Calif_Canal_115028254.html

http://www.cnn.com/2011/CRIME/02/01/california.child.body/index.html?iref=NS1

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http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009
All rights reserved.


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Posted by on February 1, 2011 in PROTECTING CHILDREN FROM ABUSE

 

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