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Are Women In Your Church Silently Suffering?

26 Dec

By Terry Loving

“Make a chain: for the land is full of bloody crimes,
and the city is full of violence.”
(Ezekiel 7:23)


Harpo beat on Sophia, and Sophia beat on Harpo. They took turns pounding on one another, trying to get what they desired, one from the other.  Harpo wanted a beat down submissive wife, and Sophia wanted a “man who knows how to treat a lady.”

In the midst of the violence, they made babies that would witness the turmoil, and learn the cruel ways of their parents. When Harpo and Sophia weren’t fighting, they were in love; they made love. Eventually,  Harpo became frustrated with Sophia’s perceived defiance; he complained to his stepmother, Ms. Celie. Now Harpo didn’t come right out and ask Ms. Celie if he should hit his wife to “make her mind.” But Ms. Celie’s response to his complaint that, “She won’t listen,” was just what he wanted to hear – “Beat her.” And he did, over and over again.

…………………………………………

Ms. Celie’s advice to Harpo was that of pure ignorance.  At the time, she may have thought that life was this way.  In order to keep a woman in line, “Beat her.”  It took many years of her own abuse, and the loss of her family through separation to realize that this was not how her life, or any woman’s life was meant to be. Ms. Celie was forced to marry a man that she didn’t love at the age of fourteen.  Sadly, he didn’t love her as well, for he really wanted to marry her younger sister Nettie.

…………………………………………

Her husband’s disappointment led to him beating, sexually, verbally and physically abusing Ms. Celie for many years. As if that weren’t enough, Albert disrespected his wife by allowing his mistress to live in their home. Through it all, Ms. Celie developed and maintained a deep faith in God. As she narrated the story of her life, she began each episode with, “Dear God.”

…………………………………………

Many women in our churches today are calling out to God for an end to their abuse. Perhaps you are one of them. You sit faithfully, anxiously waiting every Sunday for the Minister, song leaders, Deacons, ANYBODY – to speak out against domestic violence. But it never happens.

…………………………………………

One day, your Minister makes the statement that, “A two-hundred pound man beating on a 100-pound woman is shameful and should not be!” Your trembling hands grip the edge of the cushioned pew, and you silently think, “Thank God!” You hold your breath with anticipation, praying that today is your day for deliverance. You are thanking God in your heart that someone finally has the courage to speak out against Christian husbands who beat their wives, especially yours.

…………………………………………

Your heart is pounding wildly within your small frame. Beads of perspiration cover your forehead as you wait to hear the final verdict, “DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS A SIN, AND IT WILL NOT BE TOLERATED IN THIS CHURCH!” The words go unspoken.  The minister is angry, but just for a moment. He changes the subject. You suspect that he wants badly to say more about domestic violence, but you conclude that he doesn’t know how.

…………………………………………

Suddenly, you feel sick inside, let down. You avoid eye contact with the perpetrator sitting next to you with his arm around your shoulder. He is sitting there as if all is well with his soul, your abuser, your tormentor; your Christian husband.  During church services, he is perceived as a devout Christian, a man who loves God and his family.  But you and your children know the real truth.

…………………………………………

He is your Harpo, trying to beat you into submission whenever he thinks that you are out of line.  After church service, you walk to your car praying,  “Dear God, let me die before I reach home.”  Your abuser is showing signs of anger as he squeezes your arm and asks you quietly, “Did you tell anyone?” His expression and tone suspects betrayal, even when you sadly reply, “No, I didn’t say a word.”

…………………………………………

Domestic violence in and out of the church should not be tolerated. As you read and understand more about domestic violence, you will begin to see it for the evil that it is. You will also realize that the abuse you suffer is not your fault. Being battered is not God’s will for your life. In fact, those who practice violence in the home know exactly what they are doing.  Most of all, you will know that violence is a choice, and it is solely about power and control.

…………………………………………

http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009
All rights reserved.


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1 Comment

Posted by on December 26, 2010 in Uncategorized

 

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One response to “Are Women In Your Church Silently Suffering?

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