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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE – What Is Love?

17 Dec

By Terry Loving

Every human craves it. Newborns will die without it. We seek it in one place or another, and we look to each other to supply it. Animals are created to express love in their instinctive ways, and often times they outshine humans in their giving of love. Children are born with the capacity to love – even until the end of time. But what is love really?

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For many, it isn’t enough to say, “God is love,” for they don’t know God. They can’t know the depth of His love if they don’t know anything about Him. Even those who profess to worship and adore Him are at a loss to define the deepness of the love in the heart of our Creator. Although we were fashioned in the image of a Holy God, love eludes our hearts and minds – thus we have become cold, demanding, violent, abusive, and indifferent without any real desire to change.

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In the Last Days, the Bible says that the “love of many will wax cold,” (Matthew 24:12). It shows. I believe “love will wax cold” for we don’t understand love. Most people think that love is an avenue of receiving without much or any responsibility of reciprocation whatsoever. The “love ignorant” will take and take and take and take until there is nothing left to receive. Abusers and the violent have never tasted true love – for if they had – their lives would reflect a higher realm of purpose and direction. Love is spiritual. Love is God – for God is love.

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“Love acteth not rashly – Does not hastily condemn any one; never passes a severe sentence on a slight or sudden view of things. Nor does it ever act or behave in a violent, headstrong, or precipitate manner. Is not puffed up – Yea, humbles the soul to the dust.” 1

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Love comes not without regeneration. In its absence, there is only the physical love (Eros), with Agape (brotherly love), sorely wanting. If you really want to know how to love, or know if the love you are receiving is genuine, only Love Himself can clearly define what He has so freely given. His first gift was His desire to be with us. And His second gift was the death of His only Son to save us – so that we could be with Him forever – without end. Do you have that much love in your heart?

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1 Corinthians 13 is a great place to learn about real love. You will learn what love is, and what love isn’t. The next time someone says, “I love you” to you – test the love by the standards of the One who is and knows true love:

1.   Is love patient, kind – does it overlook petty mistakes?

2.   Is love envious, boastful or proud?

3.   Is love compassionate and forgiving as Christ forgives us?

4.   If there are contentions and strife, does love cover them all?

5.   Does love wish you well – or is it harsh, ill-nature and mean?

6.   Does love stir up dissensions and separates friends?

7.   Does love promote love or hate?

8.   Does love possess the fruits of the Spirit – “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness?” (Galatians 5:22)

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Abusers will beat you one minute, and tell you they “love you” the next. During the cycle of violence, you will revisit the “honeymoon” stage many times before you are finally free from the violence and abuse. This is the make-up (sex), flowers, calm, fake remorse, empty promise stage where you will get sucked into the nightmare over and over again. You will either live through it, eventually leave, or regretfully – you may die. How the story ends is up to each individual. No one can tell you when you have had enough.

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Understanding what love is, and what it isn’t will help you to make informed decisions. No one wants to accept much less than what they deserve. And if God Himself desires to give us the very best that He can give us, why should we settle for less? He is not looking down on the abused with His arms crossed in anger; instead – His hands are opened wide – waiting for you to take His hand and walk eternally with Him in love and peace.

1http://bible.cc/1_corinthians/13-4.htm

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http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009
All rights reserved.

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Posted by on December 17, 2010 in SURVIVING DOMESTIC ABUSE

 

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