Adult Children Abandoning Parents at Hotels

24 Aug
Old lady from Zacatecas, Mexico

Image via Wikipedia

When I read this news story, it broke my heart. I realize that times are hard, and many people are struggling financially. But here’s another truth that I have noticed, many grown children do not want to be bothered with their elderly parents. Even before our economy took a turn for the worst, the elderly were discarded in record numbers.

In the past, I have worked in two nursing homes, and visited several with fellow church members. It is my hope that I will die an old lady in my own home, in my own bed. Many of these seniors were abandoned, and rarely if ever had visitors. Some of them could do for themselves, and others were at the mercy of unkind hearts that were only interested in a pay check.

I was blessed to have a grandmother to live well past 100 years. I believe she was 103 when she died – in her own home – in her own bed. At times she would have in-home nursing care. But mostly, two of my aunts looked after her. Sad to say, there were other family members close by, but many didn’t make time to help care for my grandmother. When I could, I would lend a hand.

Both my parents lived in my home at one time or another. It was a difficult job caring for my dad – he was an alcoholic, and had many health problems. The same can be said for my mother, except she was in good health until she passed away from a massive stroke. Taking care of my parents was shared with my siblings, and it was no easy time. Alcoholism is a very selfish disease, and my parents were extremely selfish and self-centered. When it came to their need to drink, our home was filled with chaos and hard feelings.

In response to this article, I could never have dropped my parents off at a motel and left them. For one thing, I had much respect for them, even though they had none for themselves. I grew up with a sense of family in spite of the alcoholism, betrayal, neglect, molestation, etc. I should have had enough bad feelings towards them to not care what happened to them, but I cared. With that said, I guess it depends on what is in your heart towards another that dictates how you will treat them.

It was only after my mother died that I was spiritually enlightened as to her lack of love for me. This may sound harsh, but I am glad it happened after she died. I would not have liked myself very much for lashing out at her. And I don’t know if I could have with any restraint. Therefore, I believe that God planned it that way. In the Judgment, at least I won’t have the mistreatment of my parents to answer for.

Psalm 37:25 says, “I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread.” This is a promise of God, to look after the righteous, even to provide for their children. I am a witness to this promise. God does not lie. There are many promises of God for this life; we just have to believe Him, and strive to obey His Word.

This is not to say that the elderly in this article are un-righteous, but perhaps their offspring are unsaved. Hearts void of empathy will only know selfishness and will not recognize a need to supply. There are many grown children who could take in their parents comfortably, but they are too busy living their lives to care for those who once cared for them. There are many non-Christians who care very much for humanity. It all comes down to the heart.

In conclusion, I depend solely upon God to supply my needs. Even if my own children should fail to provide for me in my golden age, God will provide. The more I deepen my relationship with my Father, the less I worry about my future. This is His desire, that we should worship Him and depend on Him for everything. Most people view God as a Tyrant, but once you get to know His heart, you will change your perception.

Also, we are experiencing the Last Days – very evil times:

You should know this, Timothy that in the last days there will be very difficult times. For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred. They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. Stay away from people like that!

They are the kind who work their way into people’s homes and win the confidence ofvulnerable women who are burdened with the guilt of sin and controlled by various desires. (Such women are forever following new teachings, but they are never able to understand the truth.) These teachers oppose the truth just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses. They have depraved minds and a counterfeit faith. But they won’t get away with this for long. Someday everyone will recognize what fools they are, just as with Jannes and Jambres.”

2 Timothy 3:1-9, (New Living Translation)

“The conclusion, when all has been heard, is: fear God and keep His commandments, because this applies to every person.” (Ecclesiastes 12:13 – NASB)

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you.”  (Exodus 20:12 – NASB)

“But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.”   (1Timothy 5:4 – ESV)

“A father of the fatherless and a judge for the widows, Is God in His holy habitation.”

(Psalm 68:5 – NIV)

Link to the news story:

Abandoned Parents

(Listen to their stories of heartbreak)

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© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009
All rights reserved.

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Posted by on August 24, 2010 in It's A Family Thing


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