Have you ever asked your son if he were molested? Has your daughter ever been made to sit on “daddy’s” lap and play the tickle game? Does your child cut up in school, act out for no visible reasons? Do you listen to your children when they tell you they are mistreated? Most of all, would you believe your daughter if she told you your boyfriend touched her in her “special place?”
Sadly, many women are in denial when it comes to their boyfriends. They make the mistake of allowing a strange man to move into their homes, – take on the role of “daddy” – when the man has no love in his heart for the children. Oh sure, he pays lip service to accepting the package deal – a woman with kids. But over time, his contempt for kids that he did not father comes to light – or kept secret.
Many so-called men will find a weak-willed woman who is desperate for companionship, and dominate her life to gain control. Domination doesn’t happen all at once, it is subtle, calculating, and very deceiving. Little by little, the woman who was once “head of the household” is now a beat down servant, and her children become submissive through fear.
No one enjoys being alone. God made us to need one another – to give and receive love. But given the climate of our world today, especially relationships, isn’t it time for a serious inspection of our lives? What is more important, living a life of misery and pain, or raising our children to become productive members of society- whole and spiritually sound?
Many children are neglected – no decent clothing – but the boyfriends are looking sharp and well-kept. There are women who will work, allow the boyfriends to stay at home with his buddies all day, and expect him to be “the man.” I don’t respect any so-called man who will live off of a woman, especially a woman with kids.
The other downside to live-in boyfriends, they molest, abuse, and mistreat your children – not all, but too many. Not to mention, they may also beat and mistreat you. Countless innocent children, both male and female have been raped– repeatedly by boyfriends. Granted, biological fathers have been known to mistreat their own flesh and blood – even some mothers. Daddies have raped their own daughters while mommy slept in the next room. But right now, this post is about live-in boyfriends.
When we live in sin, anything can happen. Unregenerate hearts have no sense of decency, and they know no boundaries. The mind that is far from the heart of God will commit ungodly acts, and make excuses for abominations. When you find out that your boyfriend has molested your 6-year old daughter, you may get rid of him – but your child is damaged for life!
Get educated. Get support. Listen to your children. Be strong enough to raise them alone, and meet their ever changing needs. Look to the Word of God for strength to give your offspring the best life that you can give them. Love is great – love is what everyone needs – especially your children. They will be a part of your life forever. Men will come and go, but your children will be yours always.
The pain of molestation is lifelong, and in many cases, it can be avoided. If your children tell you something is wrong, believe them. Besides, is it that important to have a man, if he is the wrong man?
Listen to your children, they are a gift of God. And you will answer to God for not protecting them. My mom was an alcoholic – sick and selfish. Her needs were always more important than those of her children. You have a choice, make it a positive one.
“Holy and awesome is His name. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. A good understanding have all those who do His commandments.
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© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009
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