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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND NEGATIVE ATTITUDES

14 Oct
Domestic violence against woman.

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Reading the “Comments” section of articles concerning domestic violence – often sadden me. They are a mixed bag of attitudes that range from, “It’s her fault” to, “It’s not so bad.” The voices that scream the loudest saying, “It’s her fault” are the males who don’t view women as human beings, created by God, valued by God, and created for His purposes – not abuse. They are the males that will call a woman the “B” word in a heartbeat, and think nothing of it. Their consensus on the matter is, “If the shoe fits, wear it!”

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I wonder if people really hear what they are saying when they express their personal opinions. Or do they just need an outlet for their own frustrations, and don’t care how their thoughts are recorded for the whole world to see.

It’s funny, not “Ha-ha” funny, but a funny kind of strange that “obedience,” “humility,” “rebellion,” “disobedience” and the like all point fingers towards women, (in the male’s eyes). Or should I say in the case of domestic violence, “The Woman,” you know God, the one “You gave me- that is causing all of my troubles.” One blog commenter stated that women who “refuse to humble” themselves will experience domestic violence and abuse. He likened them to “playing with fire,” and ultimately, “getting burned.”

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He used the “B” word to describe women in general, and stated that women “don’t understand” that they do not possess “an opinion,” “a voice,” nor “authority.” His comments clearly reflect that he does not care what women “think,” and spoke for the general population of men; “nobody” cares what you think. His own words were rather crude, and not worth repeating. But you get the drift I am sure. Oh! And check this out, “REAL women know when to keep quiet and do as they’re told no matter how humiliating or degrading it may be.”

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Another male commenter wrote: “Sorry chicky but these stupid broads need an occasional $%#$ kicking or they will kick OURS! He further stated that the “American family structure,” and “family stability” is “destroyed” because “men can no longer discipline these – the “B” word in the plural. He further stated, that when his “wife gets out of line,” he “kick her back in it.” And to justify his actions and attitude, he backs it up with, “That’s the way God meant it to be.” His last comment seems to suggest that women don’t respect men who don’t “control her behavior.” And why must a man control a woman’s behavior? He wrote, “She’ll walk all over him! FACT!”

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My first response is, people – please STOP lying on God! The opinions expressed above are worldly in nature, and have no heavenly stamp of approval according to the Word of God. I don’t know what Bible this person has read, is reading, or misquoted, but Holy Scriptures do not sanction violence towards your spouse. It is amazing how people in and out of the church will lie on God, and claim that He gives the green light to destroy our families, especially our mates, and those we are dating. No, the attitudes expressed are selfish and destructive – anti-godliness. I will even add, hellish!

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“Let no man deceive himself. If any man among you seemeth to be wise in this world, let him become a fool, that he may be wise.”  (1 Corinthians 3:18…KJV)

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What the blog comments really boil down to is attitude. In the case of domestic violence and abuse – distorted attitudes about what is really happening. When people measure their way of thinking by themselves, or the general consensus of those who have a tendency towards abuse and violence, these types of comments are the end result.

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“For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise,” (2 Corinthians 10:12…KJV)

“There is not a more fruitful source of error, than to judge of persons and opinions by our own prejudices.” 1

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There is no way that anyone could derive from Holy Scriptures, that “obedience,” “humility,” “rebellion,” and “disobedience” only applies to women. Somehow, the males whose attitudes towards women in general – likened to the above – reek of males who set themselves up as gods of the universe. There is a false air of superiority shared by many deceived males, who view themselves as “perfect,” and above reproach. Satan dupes them into believing that God is a part of their earthly,  “Good ole boys network.” The rampant deception is, when you think too highly of yourself, you will view others as inferior. Many will be dehumanized – different ethnic groups, women, children, handicapped, elderly, animals, etc. God is “cool” with you, as long as He agrees with your erroneous thinking – if you believe in God at all.

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The more posts I read online, the more I conclude that many males have the same definition of a “real” woman. She is akin to a robot, who is programmed to “know when to keep quiet,” “do as she is told,” and don’t complain – “no matter how humiliating or degrading” the requests, or demands may be. Ok, so the picture that is forming in my mind is that many males do not want a “real” flesh and blood, human woman for a companion. They seem to desire a programmable robot, with specifically programmed buttons that the males can push at their leisure. If she is defective in some way, he demands the right to trade her in for a newer – younger model.

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The last time I checked, the Eve of the Bible didn’t come with buttons for Adam to program or push.  She was clothed in flesh and blood, given her own thoughts, feelings, voice, opinions, and yes, even authority:

“And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.”

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.”

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“And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.” (Genesis 1:26-28)

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God didn’t assign women as lesser beings within humanity. Yes, His hierarchy is such that man is named first in the Bible, and then woman – for man was created first, and then woman. And this placement within the family was set up even before the fall in Genesis 3. The children are in obedience to the father and mother – male and female. This Divine placement does not give man the right or authority to mistreat his family. Nor does man have a Biblical right to assign the woman a lower place in society, one of lesser human value. Ok, so what is the answer then? How do we change the warped thinking of males who view women as sex objects, cooks, slaves, child-bearers, and overall just lower-classed citizens? My humble opinion is, when we as women see ourselves, as much more than the average male outlook, then it is possible for change.

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Once we as women fully understand that we are very precious in the sight of God, we will begin to carry ourselves as such. It would be very difficult to get males, overall to change their distorted perception of women. So, the change begins with us – the “woman” created by our Creator as a compliment to the man who was lonely without “woman.” Until we as women get stronger within ourselves, and refuse to be treated unkindly just so that we have a man in our lives, things will keep getting worst.

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Once again, it would seem that the burden of changing relations between male and female is on the shoulder of women. Well, in light of what is being discussed here, I see that as a position for change for the better. I don’t see it as a power play, but a chance to redeem some of our God given esteem, and inner strength. The Bible says, “For God so loved the world…” this includes women. Jesus died for all of “us” sinners, male and female. No one has a right to look down upon another, nor treat one as though his or her life means nothing. If we continue to allow it, the abuse will continue to happen.

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For those who have expressed opinions such as the blog comments, we must pray for them and educate them whenever possible. They speak through ignorance, and are guided by the desires of the devil to carry sow seeds of discord in our homes. Most of all, we must continue to walk with God, and don’t allow the foolishness of this world sway us to give in to evil.

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It is my hope that those who have escaped abuse, will begin to set the trend of change. Meaning, you have been there, and you know what it is like to suffer at the hands of another. Prayerfully, you are being strengthened day by day, and your tolerance level for mistreatment has become very low, and you have begun to erect your impenetrable wall of self-respect. An abuser, verbally or otherwise, can only do what he is allowed to do.

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News flash, the “American family structure,” and “family stability” is “destroyed” NOT because “men can no longer discipline these – the “B” word, plural. The family structure as a whole as God had originally planned, was severely damaged when Adam and Eve disobeyed God’s commands in the Garden of Eden, (Genesis 3). You can argue that Adam should have controlled the actions of Eve in the Garden; however, both were given free will. And besides, Adam likewise exercised his free will in partaking of the forbidden fruit. We can speculate why he chose to listen to Eve until Jesus returns. But the point is, he hearkened, and partook, and SINNED just like his wife did. Adam became what his wife had become, a rebellious sinner! There is no little sin and big sin. Sin is sin! Romans 3:23: “… for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God…” The whole world is guilty, and “…there is no partiality with God (Romans 2:11).

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So, men not being able to “discipline these “B….” has nothing to do with the demise of the American family structure. We live in a selfish culture that pouts when we cannot have our own way. We destroy our own homes with violence, abuse, drunkenness, child neglect and abuse, adultery, drugs, hatred, and whatever sins we are comfortable with. So all of you Adam’s of hypocrisy, get off your high horse, for you too shall give an account to God at the Judgment. “THE LORD WILL JUDGE HIS PEOPLE.”  (Hebrews 10:30)

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“Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.”

James 4:10

1 http://mhc.biblecommenter.com/2_corinthians/10.htm

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© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2009
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Posted by on October 14, 2009 in EXCUSES FOR VIOLENCE/ABUSE

 

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