WHY DON’T PEOPLE TALK ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

By Terry Loving

“WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO GET PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?”

The caption on this poster asks a very good question.

Why do we rant about non-sensible issues, argue about sports, debate politics – and ignore an evil that is destroying our homes and our country? Our society treats the topic of domestic violence as if it were some best kept secret. Well, in many cases, I suppose it really is – although it is detrimental for all involved. Secrecy is what keeps the madness alive.

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Just because violence and abuse happens behind closed doors – mostly – it doesn’t change the fact that domestic violence is a crime. We ignore the fact that a violent spouse or dating partner is breaking the law when they physically harm you. Think about it – if domestic violence isn’t a crime, then why do perpetrators get arrested? Why are the abused labeled as victims? – Because they suffer at the hands of those who commit the crime of violence.

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We can understand – to a point – why the abused themselves do not expose their plight. Fear of further harm from their tormentors is probably the number one reason. And those who eventually escape the insanity – years later describe how they were ashamed, embarrassed and didn’t want others to know their situation. On a personal note, I didn’t want my family members involved because I didn’t want any harm to come to them. And yes, there was a level of embarrassment for me as well.

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As far as our churches go, believers in Christ should be speaking out the loudest, and reaching out to the abused and the abusers. Granted, most abusers will never change, but there are exceptions – those who desire to change – but don’t know how. Isn’t it the responsibility of God’s people to show the erring a better way to live? Prove that Hope can change a heart? Lead and love by example? Fulfill the Great Commission? Teach as the Master Teacher has taught?

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Would not reaching out to the abused fill church house pews? These days, it seems that church attendance is all about numbers – fill the seats – fill the buckets, baskets, plates – whatever means of collection of money implemented. My guess is, the abused would not only fill up the seats, they would tell others, “Come, see – we have found the Messiah.” The Lord’s true messengers would preach hope where there is despair; lift up where the abused are torn down. Isn’t this what the Good News is all about? I suspect that most churches want to fill the pews, but only with members that will come, worship, dance, shout, tithe, lift up the preacher, work in the church house, and don’t make waves. The church has failed its duty.

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So what will it take for people to see domestic violence as the crime it is? I believe it will take a mass concerted effort on the part of all involved. Meaning, the abused must speak out; the laws must get tougher; children must be protected by stiffer laws; the abusers must acknowledge their wrong and repent; churches need to work with organizations that fight domestic violence; we must educate our young people about violence and abuse and much more. This crime must be taken seriously, and not viewed as a private matter. When it involves the police, health care, the work place, our judicial system and such, it is no longer private.

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When we stop hiding behind a sham of a life, we will acknowledge the truth. Pride is a powerful motivator to keep domestic violence secret. Every abused person wants family and friends to believe that all is well with them. No one likes feeling like a failure, and too many women take the blame for something they cannot control. They equate admitting abuse with admitting they have failed the relationship – not so.

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When I pray for my granddaughters, I pray that they will never cross paths with the future abusers being groomed in violent homes today. Let’s be real, the likely-hood of our young children and grands dating angry people is very high. Many of the children suffering in violent homes today will be the adults that our children will interact with on some level in the future. The welfare of future generations should get people talking about domestic violence, and doing what they can to end it. But will they? Will you?

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And I also pray for abused women and their children that they find a way of escape. And let us not forget that men are abused as well. The men that don’t fight back should not feel ashamed for being a real man. Real men don’t hit! Our children should not witness either parent committing violence in the home. Domestic violence is a horrid life for a child to live – been there. You never get over it. My mother’s generation didn’t talk about it. My generation opened up a little more, and I pray that the next generation will not stand for it. Whatever foundations those on the front lines lay today will impact the children of tomorrow.

“Kelly Winter, who was blinded by her boyfriend, has urged other women to seek help and escape domestic violence.”

Read more: http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/breaking-news/ukandireland/seek-help-battered-women-urged-14881614.html#ixzz1e6l10LFN

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Are you talking about domestic violence – with your church leaders – employers – law makers – neighbors – family members? Are you doing anything to make a difference – making a phone call – volunteering at a shelter or other organizations – writing about it – teaching a Bible class on abuse – anything????

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Last but not least, it takes prayer, lots of prayer to bring about changes needed to end domestic violence. You may say, “I’ve tried that.” Keep praying. Change does not come overnight. Nor does it come when we want it to – but it does come.

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.” James 5:16

“The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

“Prayers offered by those who have God’s approval are effective.”

“The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”(or woman)

http://bible.cc/james/5-16.htm

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“We also know that law is made not for the righteous but for lawbreakers and rebels, the ungodly and sinful, the unholy and irreligious; for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers…” 1 Timothy 1:9

“Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.” Galatians 5:23

“Her boyfriend shot her face at point-blank range, but Carolyn Thomas survived. Follow how doctors restored her obliterated face.”

The Oprah Winfrey Show  |  April 08, 2011

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Carolyn-Thomas-Facial-Surgery-Progression#ixzz1XwjsbYoP

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“It’s not the malicious acts that will do us in, but the
appalling silence and indifference of good people.”
Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Florida divorce proceeding turns violent — in judge’s chambers

“A bailiff was not in the room at the time. The judge said if he had had any indication that Gonzalez was violent, he would have had security in his chambers. Scott-Gonzalez said in the past, she had twice sought restraining orders against her estranged husband but both attempts had been denied.” NOTE: THE VIDEO TITLE STATES THAT THE MAN IS HER BOYFRIEND- INCORRECT!

EMBROIDERED PATCHES – Click on picture to see more.

A portion of the sales will go to THE WOMAN’S RESOURCE CENTER (http://www.wrcdv.org/) – in Atlanta, GA. The link to SSOFDV online store is,http://spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org/cgi-bin/online/storepro.php.

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CHRISTIAN SUFFERING-IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE GOD’S WILL?

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THE THINGS WE DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT

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Why Doesn’t The Church Talk About Domestic Abuse?

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Click to Empower – What to Say When You Think Someone is Being Abused

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“THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT!”

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http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

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