DOMESTIC VIOLENCE-When She Hits Him First

By Terry Loving

The recent murder of Bobby Tilman shed light on a subject – in my mind – that is often overlooked – females striking males. Tilman attended a house party where a “fight broke out between two females and two males…one of the females hit a male.”¹ If the male who was “slapped” had not allowed his inner rage to kill a man, his perceived self-control may have been commendable. If he pats himself on the back and says, “At least I didn’t hit a woman,” his self-praise is worthless.

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I have personally known women who struck the first blow, sometimes involving knives, bricks, and anything that was close by. Some of the women were just as tough as their men, and fought like men who bled, and lived to fight another day. These women would bleed from busted lips, cuts on their faces and body, but they stayed in these destructive relationships until death took one or the other – due to ill-health or violence. One woman was told by her doctor, “You should have left a long time ago.”

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The news articles that I have read didn’t mention why the female at the party slapped the male. Perhaps the public will be enlightened as the trial of the four accused murderers commences. At this point it can only be assumed that something was said to offend the female, or her body was touched purposely – or accidentally in a manner that displeased her. We will have to wait and see.

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(DID SHE REALLY THINK SHE COULD BEAT THIS MAN? And who are they representing – certainly not God!)

AN EMBARRASSMENT TO THE BODY OF CHRIST!!!!!

In either case, women have been slapping men for centuries. Usually when a male is slapped, he offended the female in such a way that she felt her honor was attacked. One thing for sure in the case of Bobby Tilman’s murder is this – the slap triggered anger – the anger needed an outlet – and “…the next man that walked by…” was the scapegoat.

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It is my hope that we all learn a valuable lesson concerning what happened in Douglasville – violence solves nothing. When a female hits first, she is contributing to the violence in our society as much as the male who hits her back. And what are we teaching our children? When daddy says something wrong, “slap him?” When mommy makes a mistake – “beat her?” When you go to a party, take a gun – “just in case?” If someone looks at you wrong, “kill them?”

“The LORD tests the righteous and the wicked, And the one who loves violence His soul hates.”   (Psalm 11:5- NASB)

¹ THE SENSELESS MURDER OF BOBBY TILMAN  

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WHY ABUSED MEN DON’T SPEAK OUT

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10 Signs Your Girlfriend or Wife is an Emotional Bully

by Dr Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD

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ABUSIVE WOMEN

(Click link for more)

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Getting Past Justifying Abuse

HEART 2 HEART – SUPPORT NETWORK AND SELF-HELP DATABASE FOR MEN

THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR ABUSE!

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VIOLENCE BEGETS VIOLENCE

Amber Portwood with boyfriend Gary Shirley

“‘TEEN MOM’ star charged with domestic violence felonies.”

“According to police documents, on August 14, 2009, Portwood shoved Shirley against a wall, slapped him on the face and choked him,” Carroll said. “The incident was witnessed by the couple’s 1-year-old child who sat in a child seat on a nearby bed.”

http://www.cnn.com/2010/SHOWBIZ/celebrity.news.gossip/11/18/teen.mom.charged/index.html?hpt=T2

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TEEN MOM COULD LOSE HER DAUGHTER

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Working with Violent Women

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“THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT!”

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Mom slaps referee during daughter’s soccer game in Forsyth County

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Forgetting birthday gift gets man slapped and woman put in jail

THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES NO MATTER WHO DOES THE HITTING.

Related Articles

• Murder trial hears of domestic violence (cbc.ca)
• Mel Gibson Admits Slapping, Not Hitting Oksana Grigorieva; Claims He Had to Protect Daughter (thehollywoodgossip.com)
• Domestic Violence Hits Prime Time (womensrights.change.org)
• ‘Teen Mom’ Charged with Domestic Violence (tmz.com)
• Children ‘hidden abuse victims’ (bbc.co.uk)

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