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“I CAN’T CALL THE POLICE – HE IS THE POLICE!”

By Terry Loving

“‘You shall not murder.   (Deuteronomy 5:17)

yX5yV.AuSt.5On April 26, 2003 Tacoma Police Chief David Brame fatally wounded his wife, Crystal, and then killed himself.”

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“…when a woman calls police to report domestic violence, her chances are at least two out of five that the officer who responds has recently beaten his own partner . . . and gotten away with it! It is in part this dynamic that has created “unequal justice” for domestic violence victims everywhere.”

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No other crime victim is so utterly trapped as the police officer’s domestic partner. She is threatened with death if she reports; dismissed as crazy in internal “investigations” that are little more than a closing of the ranks around the offender; and laughed off by district attorneys when asked when charges will be filed. For the rare woman who does break free, she finds herself hunted from house to house and state to state, afraid she will be arrested on a trumped-up crime, then “battered” again in family court, often to lose her children to the violent spouse. Some of these women have lived underground for years rather than risk almost certain death if her batterer finds her.”

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Abused women are encouraged to contact agencies that assist them during their crisis. When in immediate danger, they are advised to dial “911” and seek help from local law enforcement. When the police arrive at the scene in many cases, abusers are arrested especially when the abused shows visible signs of injury. The laws are changing for the most part where domestic abusers are arrested and prosecuted in spite of the protests of the abused.

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 Usually, the abused who seeks a domestic violence restraining order is granted one in a matter of minutes. But what happens when the abuser is a police officer himself? The wife of Milwaukee Police Officer Mark T. Lelinski experienced just how difficult it can be for abused wives to seek and win protection orders against their abusive husbands who work in a system that is designed to protect its citizens – regardless of who they are.

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“Every year, hundreds of domestic violence restraining orders are granted in Milwaukee County’s courts. In many cases, the hearings take 5 or 10 minutes. In the case against Milwaukee Police Officer Mark T. Lelinski, hearings stretched over more than eight hours on four different days.”

It is not uncommon for the responding officers to only speak with the officer accused of battery. Police officers are part of a “Brotherhood” that protects its own. In too many cases, no reports are written and the officers have a pow-wow on the front lawn, laughing and dismissing the severity of why the abused called for help in the first place. The abused is accused of being “crazy” or “hysterical” and having “blown things out of proportion.” The responding officers leave and the abused is left in an increasing dangerous situation.

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It is well documented that proving a case of domestic violence against a police officer is very difficult. The challenges are “unique” and abuse victims feel that the system fails them because their abusers are a part of that system they should be able to turn to for help. Mrs. Lelinski discovered to her dismay that the system was more concerned with the officer’s reputation, and the good of the department rather than the injustice she suffered at home.

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 Although the responding officers “did nothing,” and refused to testify against their fellow officer; the victim was first denied a protection order; a city attorney fought to keep the evidence out of court, Mrs. Lelinski was finally granted a two-year protection order for the sake the couple’s son. Because officer Lelinski was not convicted of a felony in Milwaukee, he was allowed to keep his job and his gun.

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On April 26, 2003 – David Brame shot his estranged wife Crystal in the parking lot of a Gig Harbor shopping plaza. Not only did Brame shoot himself in the head, he psychologically damaged their two children – they witnessed the shootings. At the time of this tragedy, 44 year-old David Brame was the Chief of Police in western Washington. Brame died 2-1/2 hours after his self-inflicted gunshot wound. The 45 caliber Glock semiautomatic was possibly his service weapon. Crystal Brame held on for seven days, and finally succumbed to a fatal wound to her head. Two more children were orphaned by domestic violence.

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 Their turbulent divorce had become public knowledge, and Crystal Brame “alleged spousal abuse and claimed Chief Brame pointed a gun at her and threatened to kill her.” On April 26, 2003, David Brame turned his threats into a harsh reality.

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 An alleged rape in the 80’s, and a recommendation that Brame not be hired as a result of a psychological evaluation in 1981 did not impede his rise to power. There were “other incidents” throughout Barme’s career that were red flags, but they were ignored. Asterisks surrounded his 1981 hiring; Brame took three psychological evaluations before he was deemed eligible. Few knew or noticed.

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 “He had a brother on the police force. He had a father on the police force. It’s the good old boy system. It’s the buddy system. It’s the blue code,” says John Hathaway, who grew up in East Tacoma, near Brame’s family.

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megan-graham beaten by copsHandicapped Woman Calls 911 During Brutal Beating by Cops

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Ray Corpuz, Tacoma’s city manager allegedly suppressed the rape charges against Chief Brame. The “cover up” by Corpuz protected Brame and Corpuz. Ray and his wife were involved in an insurance scam concerning a burglary at their home. Corpuz and Brame knew damaging information about one another, and they made a pact to keep silent.

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In the case of “Ross Mirkarimi, the San Francisco sheriff who was charged with three misdemeanor counts connected with accusations that he abused his wife” – fear spread far and wide.

“Advocates for battered women are reluctant to dive into domestic violence cases involving police for fear of alienating the agencies they rely upon for help in other abuse cases. Several local advocates declined to be interviewed for this article because of that concern, although more than a dozen publicly called Thursday for Mirkarimi to step aside temporarily while the case against him is resolved.”

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“The biggest problem for a woman reporting that she’s been abused by her police officer husband or boyfriend is that nobody believes you,” said Diane Wetendorf of Chicago, who wrote a nationally used victim handbook, “Police Domestic Violence.”

“If you do speak up, the police are very good at turning the accusations around,” Wetendorf said. “The women get terrified, too, so the crime is very under-reported. There is a legitimate fear of retaliation.”

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There are many good cops that strive to do the right thing on and off the job. On the other hand, power and control hungry men often pursue a career in law enforcement to satisfy their need for dominance. The use of and misuse of authority, the badge and the gun are more important to such men rather than the heart to help people in need.

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NYPD-Officer-Larry-DePrimo-a-standard-all-cops-should-strive-forhttp://christopherdiarmani.com/8811/police/great-police-officers/shocking-true-good-cops-exist/

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Several studies, according to Gandy and Wetendorf, indicate that women suffer domestic abuse in at least 40 percent of police officer families. For American women overall, the figure is 25 percent, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.”

“She said officers who abuse their wives or partners often are perverting the ‘continuum of force’ used in policing.”

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“They start out with command presence and voice to gain and maintain control, and if that doesn’t work, they go up the scale with an increasing amount of force until they get compliance,” Wetendorf said. “Unfortunately, these guys use the same technique with their wives and girlfriends. And some of them go from 0 to 60 right away.”

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“A big part of police culture is the code of silence,” she said. “The prosecutors depend on police for their cases, the police depend on each other – it’s a very insulated system.”

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Officer Mirkarimi stated that what happened in his home was “a family matter.” Fortunately, the laws are changing – slowly – but changing to view domestic violence as much more than a family squabble.

“San Francisco police spokesman Officer Albie Esparza said his department is as intolerant of domestic violence as anyone in the city.”

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“When you are sworn to protect and serve, you are held to a higher standard than the general public,” Esparza said. “If you are accused of domestic violence, you not only get your case in court, but you get an internal affairs investigation.”

“Whether it involves an officer from our agency or another agency, we take these accusations very seriously,” Esparza said. “You cannot change the way you do your job just because it’s another officer.”

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  Calculated Behavior

“Most victims ask if the abuser knows what he’s doing. The answer is “yes.” The police abuser, even more than a civilian abuser, knows exactly what he wants to accomplish and how to do it.”

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Training makes him dangerous

“A police officer’s training and professional status add extra levels of sophistication to his style of psychological and physical battering. It may be helpful for you to step back and see how his training and status intensify his abusive behavior in your relationship.”

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“And ye shall be betrayed both by parents, and brethren, and kinsfolks, and friends; and some of you shall they cause to be put to death.”

(Luke 21:16 – KJV)

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10 years later: Looking back at former Tacoma Police Chief David Brame

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  I Am Divorcing An Abusive Police Officer

“Mine started off as the dream guy. The most supported and loving man I had ever met. I told my family “I’m going to marry this guy”. As I am now in my 4th year of this relationship, it’s a complete nightmare. He doesn’t ke me visit my family, call them, or spend holidays or birthdays with them. I own the house we live in and he refuses to leave even though I’ve asked him to leave several times. When I say I’m going to call the cops he just laughs because they are all his buddies and won’t do anything to help me.”

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“My first lawyer told me to face the facts, my soon to be ex is a cop and he is going to win.”

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 “Last night was pretty much the last straw. A friend of his (another cop) hit me in the face joking around but I was so offended and caught off guard that I got upset and started crying. Well he flipped and told me I was being stupid and the argument between us was our fault because I chose to take the smack to the face the wrong way.”

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THE BROTHERHOOD

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Code of Silence

When an officer is in trouble on the job or in trouble with his wife or girlfriend at home, he counts on his buddies to cover for him. He gives them a story that explains why he “had to do” whatever he did. Whether or not they personally condone his behavior, they may rationalize his behavior, saying he was stressed out, under a lot of pressure, or quite simply, that he’s only human. They repeat his version of the story and they stick to that version. They put themselves on the line with their fellow officer. Whether testifying in court or smoothing things out at home, the rules are simple for them:

  • Say as little as possible.
  • Answer only the question asked.
  • Don’t give details.
  • Deny all accusations.
  • Say “I don’t remember, I didn’t see that, or I don’t know.”

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Seattle cops get free ride on domestic violence

“Cops who abuse their wives rarely pay the price.”

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Officer-Involved Domestic Violence

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How to Combat Officer-Involved Domestic Violence

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What can a woman do when her abuser IS the police?

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Muncie steps up fight against domestic violence

“One of the complaints that we had always heard was, ‘Well, I don’t have anywhere to go. I can’t get out of the house. My kids are there,'” Arnold said. “Now you can run to a fire station — you can drive to a fire station — and you’re going to be safe, you’re going to be warm.”

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YAHOO NEWS: The American Police State is the ‘New Normal’ (even the MSM cannot deny it anymore)

YAHOO NEWS: The American Police State is the ‘New Normal’

YAHOO NEWS: The American Police State is the ‘New Normal’ (even the MSM cannot deny it anymore)

- See more at: http://szaboservices.blogspot.com/2011/06/yahoo-news-american-police-state-is-new.html#sthash.UxNKSEja.dpuf

brutal_american_policehttp://szaboservices.blogspot.com/2011/06/yahoo-news-american-police-state-is-new.html

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http://www.lanejudson.com/2_Domestic_violence_bill_now_law.htm

New Washington State Law mandates that each law enforcement agency in the state must have an officer-involved domestic violence policy

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We can spread the word far and wide about the anguish Crystal suffered. We can convey the message to those who are still suffering in silence that they are not alone. And we can help prevent this tragedy from ever happening again. That would be Crystal’s greatest legacy.”

http://www.lanejudson.com/

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Officer-Involved Domestic Fatalities – LaneJudson.com

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YAHOO NEWS: The American Police State is the ‘New Normal’ – See more at: http://szaboservices.blogspot.com/2011/06/yahoo-news-american-police-state-is-new.html#sthash.UxNKSEja.dpuf
YAHOO NEWS: The American Police State is the ‘New Normal’ – See more at: http://szaboservices.blogspot.com/2011/06/yahoo-news-american-police-state-is-new.html#sthash.UxNKSEja.dpuf

http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

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No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org. – 2014
All rights reserved.

 

………………………………………Read more here: http://www.thenewstribune.com/david-brame/#storylink=cpy
 
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Posted by on April 16, 2014 in Sociopaths And Psycopaths

 

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Justice

Originally posted on Pastor Joe Quatrone, Jr.:

Hseek-justice-for-the-oppressedave you ever been falsely accused or so badly hurt that you wanted to take revenge?  In this life, we may face many injustices: we may be misunderstood; we may not be appreciated by others; our work and service may not be duly rewarded; we may be overlooked and ignored.

Justice is a major theme in the book of Psalms.  Justice is more than honesty.  It is active intervention on behalf of the helpless, especially the poor.  The psalmists praise God because He is just.  They plead for Him to intervene and bring justice where there is oppression and wickedness.  They condemn the wicked who trust in their wealth and extol the righteous who are just towards their neighbors.  The psalmists do not merely wish the poor could be given what they need, but plead with God to destroy those nations that are subverting justice and oppressing God’s people.

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Posted by on February 24, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

IS A HUMBLE MAN A WEAK MAN?

By Terry Loving

“Do not be called leaders; for One is your Leader, that is, Christ. “But the greatest among you shall be your servant. “Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled; and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted.”

Matthew 23:10-12

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“He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?”

(Michah 6:8)

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“Ultimately, societies must challenge the impossible-to-achieve demands of manhood and the patriarchal structures that underpin these demands.  We need to redefine notions of manhood and find alternative masculine identities that are not destructive to women and men alike.  This is a long-term prospect but it starts by changing the way we – both women and men – raise boys to be men.” 1

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While researching information as to why many men and young males put so much effort into acquiring a tough persona, I came across the following question:

What is the difference between a “bad boy” and a “thug?”

One commenter stated that the difference was “a misdemeanor” verses “a felony.” Meaning, the “bad boy” would most likely commit crimes that amounted to misdemeanors such as tagging a wall; disorderly conduct; reckless driving and public intoxication. Of course this would depend on the jurisdiction in which these crimes were committed.

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 The “thug” is more likely to commit a felony such as murder, assault, battery, and false imprisonment, etc. A felony charge is a more serious charge that usually results in longer jail time, and in many cases, the death penalty.  Again, this depends on the jurisdiction. Another commenter defined ex-President Bill Clinton as a “bad boy” siting his involvement with Monica Lewinsky. It was noted that “bad boys” cheat on their mates, but thugs likewise – right?

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 It is also said that, “Women are drawn to “bad boys” like a moth to a flame? Why?

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 To confuse this issue further, another Author penned an article explaining The Difference Between A Thug And A Gangster.

“Where gangsters were gentleman criminals, a thug was a negative term used for murderers, rapists and thieves. To be a thug meant you carried the stigma of being shady, ruthless and dangerously criminal. A gang of thugs are not gangsters, they are a gang. Unlike gangster, thug is not romanticized in the English language no matter how much these rappers try to tell you different. Some women have adapted the word as almost a term of endearment for the “bad boys” that they pursue. I guess being referred to as a thug feels a bit better than being called a “bad boy” but let’s be real here, it’s the exact same thing. Thugs are not gangsters, thugs are bad boys – ie: they are guys playing “dress-up” to look the part of a thug. Real thugs will shoot you, rob you, rape you and they do get locked up. Turn on the show Gangland, or Gang Nation and you will see true thugs. Most of these women claiming to “like thugs” could not handle a real thug. They like bad boys, so let’s stop with the facade.”

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 Is it any wonder that men are confused concerning their masculinity? They don’t know whether to choose to imitate Al Capone (a gangster), a thug like those in the movie Goodfellas, or the bad boys in the movie Bad Boys starring Sean Penn. On the other hand, men and young males who exhibit any sort of humility are accused of being “soft,” “momma’s boys,” “weak.” “sissified,” and just plain cowardly. Our society raises boys to not show their emotions, especially crying. They are taught to “man-up” at a young age, and are expected as adults to be the bread winners, macho in their homes, and never to back down from a fight with another male.

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“Violence against women is closely linked to the rigid norms that define what it is to be a man.  Worldwide there is a dominant model of manhood; men are taught to aspire to and judge themselves based on this ideal. Men are expected to be financially independent, become husbands and fathers, be the primary income earner for the family, be achievers in the eyes of peers, and be in control and exert authority.  These salient norms of manhood are perpetuated by societies, communities, peers, families and women themselves – and take on more extreme forms in some cultures.”

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DeeboDEEBO – Neighborhood thug in the movie “Friday”

“But for most men, particularly poor men, there is a huge gap between these expectations and what they can achieve. In the face of chronic poverty, inequality, exclusion, jobless economies, many men feel they don’t measure up.  How then, do these men prove themselves as men?  All too often it is through the use of force and violence – and female partners are easy targets.  Such behavior is often the only way for many men to wield power in societies where they are made to feel powerless and useless.  This is the hard reality that remains unacknowledged or misunderstood in much of the discussion on gender violence today.” 2

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I love bad boys

Men may feel “they don’t measure up” in many situations, but how does violence prove manhood? How does forcing women to be under their control make a man feel powerful? Why does a man have to wear a label such as “Alpha-Male,” “macho,” “thug,” “bad boy,” or “gangster” to prove he is a man? Chronic poverty, inequality, exclusion, and jobless economies no doubt have a negative impact on any culture, but why beat the woman who is standing by your side? Is she not suffering the effects as well? Why rape your children, especially little girls and justify this behavior as a way of exhibiting so-called manhood? If a man feels that violence and abuse raises the bar of his manhood, he deceives only himself.

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“In reality there is perhaps not one of our natural passions so hard to subdue as pride. Disguise it, struggle with it, beat it down, stifle it, mortify it as much as one pleases, it is still alive, and will every now and then peep out and show itself…For even if I could conceive that I had completely overcome it, I should probably be proud of my humility.”Benjamin Franklin

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“When pride comes, then comes dishonor, But with the humble is wisdom.” Proverbs 11:2

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If a male lacks vision and guidance as to what a “real” man is, he should look to Jesus Christ as the ultimate example of true manhood. Jesus was the humblest man who ever walked the earth. And yet, the most powerful!

“Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS.  Matthew ll:29

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It is said of Jesus Christ:

… “he humbled himself: by becoming man, and by various outward actions in his life; as subjection to his parents, working at the trade of a carpenter, conversing with the meanest of men, washing his disciples’ feet, &c. and the whole of his deportment both to God and man, his compliance with his Father’s will, though disagreeable to flesh and blood, his behaviour towards his enemies, and his forbearance of his disciples, showed him to be of a meek and humble spirit; he humbled himself both to God and man:”

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gangsters

… “and became obedient unto death, or “until death”; for he was obedient from the cradle to the cross, to God, to men, to his earthly parents, and to magistrates; he was obedient to the ceremonial law, to circumcision, the passover, &c. to the moral law, to all the precepts of it, which he punctually fulfilled; and to the penalty of it, death, which he voluntarily and cheerfully bore, in the room and stead of his people:”   Gill’s Exposition of the Entire Bible

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“Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.” James 4:10

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“Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord,…. Which is done, when men, before the Lord, and from their hearts, and in the sincerity of their souls, acknowledge their meanness and unworthiness, their vileness, sinfulness, and wretchedness, and implore the grace and mercy of God in Christ, as did Abraham, Jacob, Job, Isaiah, Paul, and the publican; and when they walk humbly with God, acknowledging they can do nothing without him; owning their dependence on his grace, and ascribing all they have, and are, unto it:

and he shall lift you up; this is God’s usual way to lift up the meek, and exalt those that humble themselves; he lifts them from the dunghill, to set them among princes; he gives them a place, and a name in his house, better than sons and daughters; he adorns them with his grace; he clothes them with the righteousness of his Son, he grants them nearness to himself; and at last will introduce them into his kingdom and glory.” Gill’s Exposition of the Entire Bible

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gangsters-paradise

The power and control men desire is of the world, limited and self-projected. Gangs who claim neighborhoods as if they built them themselves have limited control over their freedom for they dare not venture onto enemy turf. The thugs function within a small radius compared to the rest of the world, and most likely depend upon drug sales for a living. They sell death to each other, and kill for little to no reason. In the sense of the word “freedom,” they are not free.

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“So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed. John 8:36

“Christ spoke of spiritual liberty; but carnal hearts feel no other grievances than those that molest the body, and distress their worldly affairs. Talk to them of their liberty and property, tell them of waste committed upon their lands, or damage done to their houses, and they understand you very well; but speak of the bondage of sin, captivity to Satan, and liberty by Christ; tell of wrong done to their precious souls, and the hazard of their eternal welfare, then you bring strange things to their ears. Jesus plainly reminded them, that the man who practised any sin, was, in fact, a slave to that sin, which was the case with most of them. Christ in the gospel offers us freedom, he has power to do this, and those whom Christ makes free are really so.” Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary

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black-gangs

The violent are slaves to violence. Abusers are slaves to abuse. True freedom begins with humility. A humble man is not a weak man. Jesus Christ was not a weak man A weak man will beat a woman, but cower down to another man. Weak men have no honor. Only the humble man is truly a strong man, especially one in Christ Jesus.

“And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth.”

Matthew 28:18

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“The fear of the LORD is the instruction for wisdom, And before honor comes humility.”

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Man seeks honor from his deeds whether good or evil. Our society celebrates those who live ungodly lives, and commit all manner of sin. How in the world George Zimmerman achieved celebrity status is beyond me. This person has not one ounce of humility even after taking the life of another. I guess he feels more like a man after being arrested for crimes against others and recklessness. “ Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.”

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Some people, especially the rich and famous give to charities and sometimes help individuals. That is a good thing. Sadly, they often desire the praise of the world, instead of humbly doing good deeds in silence.

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“Beware of practicing your righteousness before men to be noticed by them; otherwise you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 6:1

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The lack of humility and dishonor of her God is the ruin of a nation.

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“Although a wicked person who commits a hundred crimes may live a long time, I know that it will go better with those who fear God, who are reverent before him.” Ecclesiastes 8:12

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For evildoers will be cut off,
But those who wait for the L
ORD, they will inherit the land.

10Yet a little while and the wicked man will be no more;
And you will look carefully for his place and he will not be there.

11But the humble will inherit the land
And will delight themselves in abundant prosperity.

Psalm 37:9-11

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la-me-1113-spiderman-fun 162180.ME.1112.spiderman-funeralToo often, this is how the quest for power ends.

“For My hand made all these things, Thus all these things came into being,” declares the LORD. “But to this one I will look, To him who is humble and contrite of spirit, and who trembles at My word.” Isaiah 66:2

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1 Peter 5:5

“You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE.”

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quote-the-doctrines-of-grace-humble-man-without-degrading-him-and-exalt-him-without-inflating-him-charles-hodge-237789

 1http://www.worldbank.org/en/news/opinion/2013/11/25/missing-men-violence-against-women

2 http://www.worldbank.org/en/news/opinion/2013/11/25/missing-men-violence-against-women

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Become a Better Man: Humility is a Strength and Trait of A Real Man

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Humility: The Quiet Trait That Everyone Will Notice

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The Truest Expression of a Man. What Validates You?

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How To Be A Man – 8 Traits Of Real Men

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Honor God, Honor Others and Honor Yourself

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What is Manliness?

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DALLAS MEN AGAINST ABUSE

What It Takes to Be A Man

A man never hits a woman.
A man speaks out against domestic abuse.
A man teaches his daughter how men should treat her and that she should never allow herself to be abused. Not once.
A man teaches his sons to respect women.

TESTIMONIALS

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Respect for women

http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2014
All rights reserved.

 
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Posted by on February 7, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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IS THE WORD OF GOD OFFENSIVE???

By Terry Loving

PLEASE NOTE: THIS POST IS NOT A “STAND BEHIND PHIL” POST. I STAND FOR AMERICAN’S HAVING FREEDOM TO SPEAK THE WORD OF GOD PUBLICALLY WITHOUT REPERCUSSIONS. Our society is rapidly changing, and we must be careful how we cry out for censorship – whether we agree with what is said or not.

Bible

… “just as it is written, “BEHOLD, I LAY IN ZION A STONE OF STUMBLING AND A ROCK OF OFFENSE, AND HE WHO BELIEVES IN HIM WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED.” Romans 9:33

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“For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12   New American Standard Bible

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 “The Holy Scriptures are the word of God. When God sets it home by his Spirit, it convinces powerfully, converts powerfully, and comforts powerfully. It makes a soul that has long been proud, to be humble; and a perverse spirit, to be meek and obedient. Sinful habits, that are become as it were natural to the soul, and rooted deeply in it, are separated and cut off by this sword. It will discover to men their thoughts and purposes, the vileness of many, the bad principles they are moved by, the sinful ends they act to. The word will show the sinner all that is in his heart. Let us hold fast the doctrines of Christian faith in our heads, its enlivening principles in our hearts, the open profession of it in our lips, and be subject to it in our lives.” Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary

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spread the Gospel

More and more our society is moving towards hatred of the Word of God. Christians who uphold Biblical principles they strive to live by are under attack for their lack of so-called political/Biblical correctness. Publically speaking out against the very sins that God Himself speaks against is a sure way to incur the wrath of those who pick and choose what Scriptures they find more palatable – and of course, anger from those who don’t believe in God at all.

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Jesus said in Matthew 10:34
“Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword.”

Further:

Luke 12:52
“From now on there will be five in one family divided against each other, three against two and two against three.”

Luke 12:49
“I have come to bring fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled!

 Luke 12:53
“They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.”

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The above Scriptures clearly state that “peace on earth” was, and is not the intended purpose of the Gospel of Christ. “The bringing in the gospel dispensation would occasion desolations. Not that this would be the tendency of Christ’s religion, which is pure, peaceable, and loving; but the effect of its being contrary to men’s pride and lusts.” Luke 12:51

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Because the Gospel is contrary to the lifestyle of the world, it will be rejected and despised. Hebrews 4:12 says the Word of God is “living,” and “active.” If it were not, the heart of man would not be convicted by it. Therefore, whenever a Christian speaks the Word of God to a non-believing public, he or she will be hated – but also forewarned that this would be so:

“If the world hates you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you.” John 15:18

the stones will cry out

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Christ Divides Men

      49“I have come to cast fire upon the earth; and how I wish it were already kindled! 50“But I have a baptism to undergo, and how distressed I am until it is accomplished! 51“Do you suppose that I came to grant peace on earth? I tell you, no, but rather division; 52for from now on five members in one household will be divided, three against two and two against three. 53“They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.”

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Believers and non-believers will be at odds. Light and darkness will oppose one another. Not only will this take place in the world, but within our very own families.

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“For everyone who does evil hates the Light, and does not come to the Light for fear that his deeds will be exposed.” New American Standard Bible  John 3:20

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When Jesus walked the earth, He had followers and opposers. Many people loved Him, and others hated Him to the point of killing Him. What did He do wrong? He healed the sick, fed multitudes, raised the dead, imparted comfort from God’s Word, associated with and loved those who society cast aside – really, what did He do wrong? Nothing!

jeremiah 20 9

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What those who opposed Him accused Him of was His proclamation of equality with God the Father:

“I and the Father are one.” John 10:30 New American Standard Bible

The Jews were appalled, for this declaration in their eyes amounted to blasphemy. This was more than they could stand. Something had to be done – and death was the solution.

No one in our present society has ever met Jesus. So what has He done to cause such hatred towards Him today? Nothing!

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Our Lord carried out His purpose on earth, bridging the gap between sinful mankind and a Holy God – He spoke the Words that God gave Him to show man a better way to live, and the only way to die – in Christ – in order to be with Him forever. Obedience to the Word of Life brings salvation, eternal life with Christ – who wouldn’t want to embrace this and much more – even in the midst of our suffering on earth for the cause of Christ?

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Well, those who choose to live the opposite of Scripture, who seek their own way, reject the “narrow way” in favor of the “broad way.” Whenever the Word of God is spoken, it is like a mirror held up to our faces and we see deep into our souls what we really are. If you do not like what you see – convictions of the heart – you will strive to make changes if your heart is receptive to the living Word of God. Otherwise, you will reject it and persecute those who speak out boldly upholding their convictions that Jesus is the Son of God – and the Way to eternal salvation. Obedience to the Word means life change, which many reject.

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What the world does not understand is the fact that Christians are commanded to speak the Word of God and not be ashamed:

Mark 8:38

“If anyone is ashamed of me and my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his Father’s glory with the holy angels.”

There is a severe price to pay for disowning our Lord:

Matthew 10:33

“But whoever disowns me before others, I will disown before my Father in heaven.”

Luke 9:26

“Whoever is ashamed of me and my words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of them when he comes in his glory and in the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.”

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Francis of assisis

Pulpit Commentary

Verse 38. – Our Lord here looks onward to the day of judgment. Whosoever shall be ashamed of me. “Whosoever:” the word includes all, whatever their position or circumstances may be. “Shall be ashamed of me;” that is, shall deny my faith, or blush to confess me here. Of him shall the Son of man be ashamed; that is, Christ will despise him, when he shall appear with power and great glory, in that sublime majesty which he gained by his death upon the cross. In this adulterous and sinful generation. It adds to the disgrace of being ashamed of Christ that the shame is manifested in the presence of the base and the worthless; and therefore our Lord exhibits the contrast between the mean and contemptible people in the presence of whom men are ashamed of him here, and the magnificent assemblage in whose presence he will be ashamed of them hereafter. The cross of Christ appeared to the great body of mankind to be shameful and contemptible. To the Jews it was a stumbling-block, and to the Greek’s foolishness. Hence vast numbers, whether through shame or fear, did not dare to confess it, and still less to preach it. And therefore it is that St. Paul says (Romans 1:l6), “I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ.”

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1 Corinthians 1:18
“For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.”

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God is not mocked

Significance for our Time

 “Inclusiveness.”

“A key word in today’s society is “inclusiveness”. We are told that we should accept “alternative lifestyles”, accept all sorts of behavior that used to be considered unacceptable. Those who are considered unwilling to do so may be required to receive “sensitivity training”. The watchword is “tolerance”. Some have almost made a god of tolerance. Yet we find these same people can be quite intolerant of any viewpoint that does not tolerate every kind of behavior. Any deviation from the standard of tolerance is considered intolerable, and there are efforts in many countries, including ours, to make it illegal. In parts of Canada, for example, it is now illegal and punishable by law for anyone simply to repeat what the Bible says about certain forms of behavior.”

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 “Jesus was never tolerant of evil. He reached out to the sinner in love, but he hated sin. When a woman was found in adultery, Jesus did not say, “Your lifestyle is fine”. He said, “Go now and leave your life of sin” (John 8:11). In his Sermon on the Mount and in other teachings he insisted on a very high moral standard. He denounced the religious leaders of his time, saying “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, hypocrites” (Matthew chapter 23).

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“Scripture teaches that those who do certain kinds of acts, and live in certain kinds of ways (including impurity and sexual immorality), will not inherit the kingdom of God and will incur God’s wrath (Ephesians 5:5-7; Colossians 3:5-6; Galatians 5:19; see Romans 1:18-32; Revelation 21:8). It tells us “do not be partners” with such people (Ephesians 5:7). Jesus will come again “in blazing fire” to “punish those who do not know God and do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ” (2 Thessalonians 1:7,9)..

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Where many today teach tolerance of every conceivable kind of behavior, Jesus drew a sharp line of division. He said that some behavior is sinful and should not be tolerated. He said that some things are good and some things are evil, and the evil cannot be tolerated or accepted. I believe we urgently need that line of division today. http://www.scriptureinsights.com/Divide.html

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let-the-light-of-the-glorious-gospel-of-christ-so-shine

“13Who is there to harm you if you prove zealous for what is good? 14But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. AND DO NOT FEAR THEIR INTIMIDATION, AND DO NOT BE TROUBLED, 15but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence; 16and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ will be put to shame. 17For it is better, if God should will it so, that you suffer for doing what is right rather than for doing what is wrong. 18For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, having been put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit; 19in which also He went and made proclamation to the spirits now in prison, 20who once were disobedient, when the patience of God kept waiting in the days of Noah, during the construction of the ark, in which a few, that is, eight persons, were brought safely through the water. 21Corresponding to that, baptism now saves you—not the removal of dirt from the flesh, but an appeal to God for a good conscience—through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, 22who is at the right hand of God, having gone into heaven, after angels and authorities and powers had been subjected to Him.”

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reaching-the-lost

Ezekiel 3:16-21 ESV / 13 helpful votes

“And at the end of seven days, the word of the Lord came to me: “Son of man, I have made you a watchman for the house of Israel. Whenever you hear a word from my mouth, you shall give them warning from me. If I say to the wicked, ‘You shall surely die,’ and you give him no warning, nor speak to warn the wicked from his wicked way, in order to save his life, that wicked person shall die for his iniquity, but his blood I will require at your hand. But if you warn the wicked, and he does not turn from his wickedness, or from his wicked way, he shall die for his iniquity, but you will have delivered your soul. Again, if a righteous person turns from his righteousness and commits injustice, and I lay a stumbling block before him, he shall die. Because you have not warned him, he shall die for his sin, and his righteous deeds that he has done shall not be remembered, but his blood I will require at your hand.”

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faith comes by hearing

“The Lord told the prophet he had appointed him a watchman to the house of Israel. If we warn the wicked, we are not chargeable with their ruin. Though such passages refer to the national covenant made with Israel, they are equally to be applied to the final state of all men under every dispensation. We are not only to encourage and comfort those who appear to be righteous, but they are to be warned, for many have grown high-minded and secure, have fallen, and even died in their sins. Surely then the hearers of the gospel should desire warnings, and even reproofs.”   Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary

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New American Standard Bible
“If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” Joshua 24:15

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In a recent edition of GQ, the patriarch of the “Dynasty” spoke out concerning his views on sin, and the result has been a media buzz and outcry from GLAAD denouncing his statements. In what now might appear as an attempt to stir up controversy, GQ asked the A&E star of Duck Dynasty about his views regarding sin. In response, Phil, who has referred to himself in the past as a Bible-thumper, responded unsurprisingly by quoting the same Bible he claims to regularly thump. Phil, in response to the question on sin stated, “start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men.” He continued on to state, “Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolators, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers – they won’t inherit the Kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.”

” 9Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, 10nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. 11Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.”  1Corinthians:6-11

IS THIS NOT AMERICA – The land of “Free speech?” “Religious freedom? Protected by our Constitution??????

blog-spot-free-speech3

“The comments made by Phil, drawn out by GQ’s Drew Magerty, caused GLAAD to almost immediately cry foul, however the large christian population and viewership appears to be twiddling their thumbs and watching the entire fiasco play out. GLAAD spokesperson Wilson Cruz in speaking to the press lashed out in response to Phil’s statements accusing Phil of misquoting the Bible and attempting to perpetuate “myths” and “lies” concerning the homosexual and wider LGBT communities.”

There was no misquoting the Bible by Phil. Many view the Bible as of book of “myths” and “lies” to support their ungodly way of life. Drew Magerty asked Phil questions that pertained to his faith, and Phil did what the Bible says we should do when confronted with our beliefs: 1 Peter 3:15-17

New American Standard Bible
13Who is there to harm you if you prove zealous for what is good? 14But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. AND DO NOT FEAR THEIR INTIMIDATION, AND DO NOT BE TROUBLED, 15but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence; 16and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ will be put to shame. 17For it is better, if God should will it so, that you suffer for doing what is right rather than for doing what is wrong.”

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Voltaire

IS THE WORD OF GOD OFFENSIVE???? Only to those who despise hearing what thus saith the Lord

New American Standard Bible
“To whom shall I speak and give warning That they may hear? Behold, their ears are closed And they cannot listen. Behold, the word of the LORD has become a reproach to them; They have no delight in it.” Jeremiah 6:10

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/huckabee-weighs-in-on-duck-dynasty-controversy/

Huckabee weighs in on “Duck Dynasty” controversy

“What we’ve seen is that there is a new level of bullying of the part of these militant activist groups,” said Huckabee, a former pastor and 2008 presidential candidate, said on “Fox News Sunday”. “I think it has come to a point in our culture where political correctness has made it so that if you want to take a point of view that is traditional, that holds to steadfast, old fashioned biblical Christian values, which are also, by the way, values of traditional Judaism, and even Islam, that somehow you’re supposed to just shut up and keep that to yourself. But if you want to advocate for same-sex marriage, we’re supposed to be very tolerant.”

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John 3:19
This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.

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Duck Dynasty: Phil Quotes Bible, GLAAD Cries Foul, Christians Silently Twiddle Thumbs

“The announcement of Phil’s suspension from the show does not appear as of yet to have been met with any significant outcry from christians who at least presumably believe in the same Bible that Phil referenced in his statements, and no such cry has come from viewers either. It remains to be seen whether significant support for Phil will be shown by viewers or the wider christian population at large.”

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Other networks eager to air ‘Duck Dynasty’

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Network quiet amid petitions calling for boycott over ‘Duck Dynasty’ move

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Pedophile support group seeks ‘truth and dignity’ – Want same rights as homosexuals

August 2, 2013 (Renewamerica.com) – Who could’ve seen this coming? Well, those of us who can see the “logical” end results of the radical homosexual movement, that’s who. With homosexual activists on the march throughout our government, military, schools and society in general, many of us have warned that their push for special “rights” would – besides trample on the freedoms of speech, religion and association of those who oppose them – inevitably lead to demands by other sexual deviants, like pedophiles, for their own societal affirmation.

Jack Minor, in his column titled “Pedophiles want same rights as homosexuals,” wrote: Using the same tactics used by “gay” rights activists, pedophiles have begun to seek similar status arguing their desire for children is a sexual orientation no different than heterosexual or homosexuals.

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WOE UNREPENTANT AMERICA!

“Our nation is walking in darkness, and it’s getting darker by the minute.”

http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

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© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org., 2013
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Posted by on December 22, 2013 in Preaching The Pure Word Of God!

 

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WHY IS SELF-FORGIVENESS SO DIFFICULT?

By Terry Loving

forgive yourself

“You have peace,” the old woman said, “when you make it with yourself.”
Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven

With the New Year approaching rapidly, many people are making lists as to what resolutions need to be addressed for the betterment of a new lifestyle. Some people will succeed in completing their list of weight loss goals, quit smoking, new employment or leaving undesirable relationships and situations. On the other hand, many people will fail to accomplish what their minds conceived as needed changes in their lives. Another year goes by.

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One important life change that I have always struggled with is forgiving myself.  I have been able to – with time – forgive the trespasses of others as I have asked God to forgive mine. You never forget the things that you have forgiven, but with God’s help and the right understanding – one can forgive others and move on. I have learned that forgiving others is more about me than them. Meaning, I will be right with God in forgiving, and my overall mental and physical health will improve as I let go of hurts. Heartburn, headaches, bad moods and sour dispositions will fade away when we forgive. When we remove the stumbling blocks, we begin to find our way again, and the future becomes brighter.

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forgive youself2

Most Christians understand that un-forgiveness is serious business with God:

“For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.”

“But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.” (Matthew 6:14-15)

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Plain and simple isn’t it? We must forgive to receive forgiveness from our heavenly Father. Simply stated, but difficult for many – Christians included. Too many people cannot let go of the past and remain stuck in the yesterdays of their minds. They are not reliving the hurts in reality; however, they hit the replay button over and over again never allowing the pain to heal. I am speaking from experience.

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When we forgive others we often conclude: “He was upset.” “She didn’t mean what she said.” “They are just ignorant.” “He made a mistake.” “She didn’t know any better.”

On the other hand, we mercilessly criticize ourselves when the same conclusions apply to our personal mistakes and trespasses.  We can easily emphasize with the human failings of other people, and yet we hold ourselves to such high standards that we punish ourselves continually for the things that in many cases we have been forgiven for.

quoteforgiveness3

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Granted, self-forgiveness may be more difficult when we come to the realization that we caused pain on purpose. In the case of domestic violence and abuse, self-forgiveness may never be realized especially if a life was taken or destroyed because of selfish ambitions. If a relationship was lost, and attempts to recover it were futile, the struggle to forgive oneself will likely continue for a long time. But there is hope for peace of mind.

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Countless abused persons have a difficult time forgiving themselves for the abuse they endured. Faulty reasoning causes many to conclude that they were to blame for what happened to them. Many will make statements such as: “I am intelligent, why didn’t I see this coming?” “How could I allow this to happen to me?” “What did I do wrong?” “How could I get mixed up with him?” “How could I let her charm fool me?” If we view our mistakes as sin self-commendation increases, even though we ask God’s forgiveness, and know that He is faithful and just to forgive.

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Psalm 32:5 says, “Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD.” And you forgave the guilt of my sin.”

You “acknowledged” your sin, made no excuses or tried to hide it, and “confessed” to the LORD.” When we do this in Christ, the “guilt” of our sins is forgiven.

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1 John 1:9 – “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us [our] sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Matthew 12:31 – “Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy [against] the [Holy] Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men.” (KJV)

Why do we as Christians continue to condemn ourselves when we have been forgiven by God Almighty Himself? God shows us mercy, why can we not give ourselves the opportunity to fully experience His mercy along with self-mercy?

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forgive_yourself_while_accepting_responsability_image

No human being is exempt from hurting others, making mistakes, exercising poor judgment, or living with regrets. But we must learn self-forgiveness in order to become all that God intended for our lives to become. We must remove the obstacles of the past. If we can learn from the memories of our mistakes, great! If we confessed our faults to God and know that we have been forgiven; if we asked forgiveness of those who we have hurt – accepted or not, then we are convicting an innocent person over and over again.

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One Writer states: “Yet, we can and often do refuse the choice to forgive ourselves because we are experiencing tremendous guilt and believe that we deserve more punishment. Failing to forgive ourselves is one way to keep the punishment in effect. It is a way for us to martyr ourselves over and over again. The foolishness of this practice should be self evident. What can our self inflicted punishment do to help our victim, or for that matter, ourselves? What good can come of it?”

“It’s common to hold on to guilt and shame when we’ve hurt someone, but those feelings do not come from God. They come from our enemy, Satan. Guilt and shame prolong pain and suffering while providing nothing of value to anyone. They leave us looking back, and while we’re busy focusing on the past, it’s very difficult to move forward with Christ.”

“Instead of guilt, God requires repentance. These two words mean very different things. Repentance is an acknowledgment of the wrong we have done followed by a commitment to change our ways, but guilt carries no such commitment. Guilt causes us to live in the shadow of our past disgrace, while repentance looks forward in anticipation of God’s grace.”

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We must also understand:

The Conflict of Two Natures

“14For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin. 15For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. 16But if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that the Law is good. 17So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. 18For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. 19For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. 20But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me.”

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“21I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. 22For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, 23but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members. 24Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? 25Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin.”

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“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”

Lewis B. Smedes

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“7:18-22 The more pure and holy the heart is, it will have the more quick feeling as to the sin that remains in it. The believer sees more of the beauty of holiness and the excellence of the law. His earnest desires to obey, increase as he grows in grace. But the whole good on which his will is fully bent, he does not do; sin ever springing up in him, through remaining corruption, he often does evil, though against the fixed determination of his will. The motions of sin within grieved the apostle. If by the striving of the flesh against the Spirit, was meant that he could not do or perform as the Spirit suggested, so also, by the effectual opposition of the Spirit, he could not do what the flesh prompted him to do. How different this case from that of those who make themselves easy with regard to the inward motions of the flesh prompting them to evil; who, against the light and warning of conscience, go on, even in outward practice, to do evil, and thus, with forethought, go on in the road to perdition! For as the believer is under grace, and his will is for the way of holiness, he sincerely delights in the law of God, and in the holiness which it demands, according to his inward man; that new man in him, which after God is created in true holiness.”    Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary

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“If you are carrying strong feelings about something that happened in your past, they may hinder your ability to live in the present.” Les Brown

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forgiveness6

In light of what has been written thus far, the question that begs an answer is, “How Do I Forgive Myself?” First, advice from the Apostle Paul:

  “7But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. 8More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, 9and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, 10that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; 11in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.”

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     “ 12Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. 13Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, 14I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. 15Let us therefore, as many as are perfect, have this attitude; and if in anything you have a different attitude, God will reveal that also to you; 16however, let us keep living by that same standard to which we have attained.”

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forgiving myself7

“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.”  New American Standard Bible

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“Therefore, holy brothers and sisters, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, whom we acknowledge as our apostle and high priest.”  Hebrews 3:1

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“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.”  Romans 12:2

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16Therefore from now on we recognize no one according to the flesh; even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him in this way no longer. 17Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 18Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, 19namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation.” http://biblehub.com/nasb/2_corinthians/5.htm

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Forgive-Yourself-Tumblr

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“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”
Mark Twain

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2 Peter 1:9 – “But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins.”

Romans 6:14 – “For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.”

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http://www.wikihow.com/Forgive-Yourself

Learning To Forgive Yourself

How to Forgive Yourself

10 Steps to Forgiving Yourself

How Do You Forgive Yourself?

The Secret to Forgiving Yourself

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http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org. – 2013

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Posted by on November 30, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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OCTOBER – DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH ACTIVITIES

By Terry Loving

Domestic-Violence-Awareness2013

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Another foundation that shares the month of October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month – both causes are equally important.

The first awareness month was in Oct. 1987, which is the same year the national toll-free hotline began. The month was created out of the first Day of Unity observed in Oct. 1981 by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. The Day of Unity grew into a week of activities to spread awareness of domestic violence.

This post is dedicated to listing events and links that highlight activities going on this month. For the most part, the events happen yearly. If there is an important event that you would like to add to this post, please feel free to do so in the comment section. The list will be updated when I find more useful links.

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REMEMBER AND ACT!

Click here to submit a name for the Remember My Name project electronically.

THE REMEMBER AND ACT VIRTUAL MEMORIAL: 1996-2008

NCADV honors those who have lost their lives to domestic violence. Please click here to enter the memorial.

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GRU, SafeHomes kick off Domestic Violence Awareness Month

“It’s so often that (domestic violence victims) leave everything behind,” she said. “We don’t want to just house them and put them back out there.”

“We want to give them the tools and the things they need to be independent and self-sufficient.”

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Save lives and help the environment–donate your unwanted cell phones and digital electronics to NCADV.

Accepted Items:
• Any cell phone in any condition and their accessories (most wanted: Iphones and Blackberries, but we will take what you have!)
• Laptops
• Mp3 Players
• Digital Cameras
• Video Game Systems

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october20is20domestic20violence20awareness20month

Domestic Violence Awareness Month Kicks Off At LOVE Park

“City Council Members were presented with an award for their successful efforts to open another shelter to help the thousands in this situation. That 100 bed shelter is set to open in the spring. Verizon has donated equipment and funds over the years.”

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Domestic Violence Awareness Project Events

A listing of events in different areas of the US.

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Futures Without ViolenceMonth Events

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Good and bad news in Jacksonville area as Domestic Violence Awareness Month launches

Dan Scanlan: (904) 359-4549

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH EVENTS AND INFORMATION:

Here are some of the October events in the area to promote Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

■ A “Take Back the Night” March and Candlelight Vigil was Tuesday at the University of North Florida.

■ 19th annual Barbara Ann Campbell Memorial Breakfast, 7:30 to 9 a.m. Thursday, Hyatt Regency Jacksonville Riverfront Hotel, www.hubbardhouse.org.

Thrill the World, 9 p.m. Oct. 26, an attempt to break the record for zombies dancing to “Thriller,” www.thrilltheworld.com.

■ Quigley House Purple Ribbon Golf Tournament, 1 p.m. Oct. 17, Fleming Island Golf Club, 2260 Town Center Blvd., www.quigleyhouse.org.

■ Micah’s Place Appreciation and Awareness Breakfast, 7:30 a.m. Wednesday, Fernandina Beach Golf Course, 2800 Bill Melton Road, www.micahsplace.org.

■ Betty Griffin House Candlelight Vigil, 7 p.m. Thursday, St. Augustine’s Plaza de la Constitucion

■ Betty Griffin House Runway to Safety Fashion Show, 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Oct. 29, Marriott Sawgrass, 1000 PGA Tour Blvd., Ponte Vedra Beach, www.bettygriffinhouse.org.

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Women In Distress of Broward County, INC

  • Clerk of Courts“Be Aware” event 11:30am – 1:00pm Topic: “Stalking” to be held in the Jury Room at  201 SE 6th St. for more information & RSVP please contact Tgreen@browardclerk.org.
  • Florida Bar Association – “Domestic Violence CLE” 8:15am – 4:45pm on Wednesday, October 9th at the Hyatt Pier 66 in Ft. Lauderdale. For more information contact the Florida Bar Association. Click here.
  • Jewish Federation of Broward – Luncheon & Fashion Show – Sunday, October 20th, 2013 for the 8th Annual KOLOT Luncheon & Fashion Show at the Signature Grand, Davie. Click here for more information.
  • NOVA University – Documentary Screening and Q&A titled “No Way Out But One” from 2:00 pm- 4:00 pm & 5:30 pm-7:30 pm on Wednesday, October 23rd in Knight Auditorium located in the DeSantis Building.  Click here for more information.
  • General Federation of Women’s Clubs – “United Against Domestic Violence” A Taste of Italy Event” to be held at Gino’s Italian Market, Friday, October 25th at 7:00 pm- 5729 Johnson Street, Hollywood, FL. Mozzarella making demo, pasta stations, wine tasting, and more. Click here for more Information.

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Events planned for Domestic Violence Awareness month

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Mecklenburg County  NC Women’s Commission

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VIGIL

The Annual Candlelight Vigil will be held 6:15p, Thurs., Oct. 24th, 2013 at John Dam Plaza in Richland, WA.

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VIGIL EVENTS

Candlelight Vigil  – Melrose Alliance Against Violence

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The Children’s Advocacy Center

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YWCA DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS MONTH ACTIVITIES

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Domestic Violence Vigil Set for October 8

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Empowerment Weekend Offers Domestic Violence Victims ‘SAFE’ Events This Month

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Walk a Mile in Her Shoes® Official Walk Event Calendar

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Delaware Coalition Against Domestic Violence

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Upcoming Trainings, Webinars and Events Around the Country

Walk for the cure left footThis image © BritLivie-Handcrafted-Jewels 2013

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Shelter organizes domestic violence awareness events

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South Carolina Department of Social Services

APPROVED BATTERER INTERVENTION PROGRAMS

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WOMEN AGAINST ABUSE – Advocacy In Action

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MEN-CAN © Rally hosted by Lutheran Settlement House

October 05, 2013 at 10:30 am – Freedom Christian Bible Fellowship Church at 6100 West Columbia Ave. Phila. PA, 19151

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SAFE HOMES of Orange County

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A SOCIAL JUSTICE ISSUEThis image © BritLivie-Handcrafted-Jewels 2013

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http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org. – 2013

All rights reserved.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on October 2, 2013 in SPEAK UP! SPEAK OUT!

 

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ABUSERS – TAKE A LOOK AT YOURSELF!

By Terry Loving

WARNING – GRAPHIC VIDEO!

The above video represents a violent and brutal home invasion caught on a nanny cam in Millburn, NJ. The date of the attack was June 21, 2013 at 10 a.m. in the morning.

“The incident in a Millburn living room last Friday was caught on camera, authorities have said. In the video, a young mother is shown watching cartoons with her 3-year-old daughter – and then a loud crash is heard from off-camera. Within moments, an intruder lunges at the woman, pummeling her with his fists and kicking her in the head before tossing her down a flight of stairs off-camera. An 18-month-old son was asleep upstairs at the time of the crime, authorities have said.”

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“The victim tried not to scream as she was beaten, because she didn’t want to traumatize her daughter, she told authorities.”

The video shows what a violent crime looks like,” Acting Essex County Prosecutor Carolyn Murray said. “We have a tremendous amount of violent crime in Essex County, but when people in the community see what it really looks like that’s why we got the outpouring of assistance that we did.”

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Forty-two year old Shawn Custis showed the world what violent domestic abusers do every day. I am not taking anything away from this poor woman and her child who was a witness. For his crimes, Shawn should pay dearly, and never taste freedom ever again. He has a history of criminal charges which proves that he will not change, and may kill someone next time.

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home-invasion2

I needed to post the video for it reminded me of what I witnessed as a child. I still have memories of my mother being beaten the very way this woman was – her child will never forget either. I am shaking as I type this post. There is tightness in my chest – this took me back to a day that was pressed down deep within my memory. I am trying not to cry.

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It is my hope that domestic abusers watch this video and see themselves. This is what they do behind closed doors. Let me just address them directly.

Abusers – you should be ashamed of yourselves! See yourself in this video and REPENT! You beat down innocent and defenseless women; scar their children for life – and for what? To prove that you are a man? I am so very angry today! I am hurting and praying for all the women you hurt. Most of all, I pray that you will find God and change. There is no excuse for the terror that you dish out, no excuse at all.

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One day you will stand before God and give an account. Look at the video, see yourself as God sees you and decide how you will answer. My guess is you will be so frightened before our Creator, reduced to weak knees with fright that you will be at a loss for words – your very heart will fail you.

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Shawn arrest

You think that what you do behind closed doors is not seen by anyone – not so. Just as you look at this video and witness the evil and ugly truth of violence against women – so does God:

5And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. 6And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart. Genesis 6:5-6

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Abusers, you are grieving the very heart of God. Each time you hurt one of His children, you are ripping His heart apart. You feel safe behind closed doors as if no one sees your ugly deeds, but you are very wrong.

10But why dost thou judge thy brother? or why dost thou set at nought thy brother? for we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ.

11For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.

12So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.

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china man beats woman

When you brutalize your loved ones, you are passing judgment upon them. You have deemed them guilty of trespassing your warped sense of right and wrong – and sentenced them to vicious beatings and mistreatment. You regard the abused with contempt, you despise them, and you hate God and His righteousness. Why? Did God treat you this way when you made mistakes?

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Perhaps someone abused and misused you as a child. Should that not be enough reason not to hurt others as you have been hurt? Why are you so angry? The Bible says:

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” Ephesians 4:31

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This means that you are in charge of your anger. It also means that God will help you to “put away from you” the destructive emotions that cause you to lash out unjustly – if your heart is teachable. Whatever fears you have, abandonment, not being good enough – whatever – God can, and is willing to help you. But first, you must admit that you have a problem with a lack of self-control. I know, for I was once an angry person, and I felt I had every right to be considering what I had to endure in my mother’s house. But I lashed out in the wrong way – and used the smallest disagreements to vent my frustrations. It wasn’t until I acknowledged to God that I had a problem with anger – and I did not know for most of my life – that God was able to wash me clean of bitterness.

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man-beats-woman

Let me ask you this – does it matter to you that you will damage a child for life? When children witness domestic violence and abuse, your brutal actions and verbal tirades short circuit their emotional growth, plant seeds of fear, and instill negative and hurtful memories for life. Are you bold enough to stand before God and give an account? God may not approve of our actions, but He loves all mankind – especially children. When you abuse and rape, you abuse and rape the heart of God.

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“If anyone causes one of these little ones–those who believe in me–to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.” Matthew 18:6

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“If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left,” Hebrews 10:26

“How much more severely do you think someone deserves to be punished who has trampled the Son of God underfoot, who has treated as an unholy thing the blood of the covenant that sanctified them, and who has insulted the Spirit of grace?” Hebrews 10:29

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“All this I have seen and applied my mind to every deed that has been done under the sun wherein a man has exercised authority over another man to his hurt.” Ecclesiastes 8:9

“When you sin against them in this way and wound their weak conscience, you sin against Christ.” 1 Corinthians 8:12

And I saw something else under the sun: In the place of judgment–wickedness was there, in the place of justice–wickedness was there.” Ecclesiastes 3:16

“Again I looked and saw all the oppression that was taking place under the sun: I saw the tears of the oppressed– and they have no comforter; power was on the side of their oppressors– and they have no comforter.”  Ecclesiastes 4:1

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GodLooksAtTheHeart

“Shawn Custis has been charged with first-degree attempted murder, first-degree robbery, second-degree burglary and two counts of endangering the welfare of a child, according to Kathy Carter, a spokeswoman for the prosecutor’s office.”

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Any man who beats a woman, wife, girlfriend – whoever, should be charged with “attempted murder.” To what “degree” I don’t know, but abusers should not get away with a slap on the wrist – especially when the violence is carried out in front of children.

Until our world understands that what took place in this video is the face of domestic violence, nothing much will change. Domestic violence is a crime! The fact that it happens mostly behind closed doors does not lessen the severity and criminal element of the acts. It can happen to anyone, at any time.

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This video opened an old wound, and there will always be triggers. I am outraged by the vicious attack on this woman in the security of her own home. And yet, this happens every day in America – women brutalized and killed by deranged evil abusers in a place they should feel the safest – home. Will this open your eyes now????

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I believe every Pastor should see this video, and then they may not be so quick to send the abused back to their abusers. Perhaps then they will understand that cooking better, keeping quiet, being more intimate and the like is not the problem concerning abuse. Abusers are the problem period!

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Shawn plead “Not Guilty” – really Shawn?

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Comments concerning the brutality of Shawn Custis:

We believe it was his intent to kill the woman,” Chief Assistant Prosecutor Thomas Fennelly said. (Could we not say the same concerning domestic abusers? The highlighted words below is describe what the abused suffer every day!)

  • ·         A brutal mid-morning New Jersey home invasion
  • ·         an assault
  • ·         mother suffered a vicious beating at the hands of the 5-foot-11, 210-pound suspect
  • ·         chilling video captured the entire midday attack
  • ·         “He bombards her and starts wailing away.”
  • ·         The suspect throws the woman down, punches her several times in the face before picking her up and throwing her down. He goes upstairs to ransack the bedroom and as he returns, kicks the woman in the face as she struggles to regain her feet.
  • ·         … “she moans.”
  • ·         “He’s a lefty, every punch and kick was lefty,”
  • ·         his reactions were violent.
  • ·         “There was no reason for it, she would have given him anything he wanted,” Palardy said.
  • ·         In his final sickening act, the man throws her mother down the steps,
  • ·         The stunning, midday attack is so shocking
  • ·         The woman was treated at the hospital for leg and face injuries suffered at the man’s hands.
  • ·         “They wanted to show how violent this person is because they want him caught as much as we do,” Palardy said. “And we’re not going to sleep until this guy is caught.”
  • Thankfully she’s ok, physically; but you never know the emotional scars left on her, her daughter, and her husband who probably feels guilty that he wasn’t around to stop this beast!

dead woman

“The question arises in a case like this: “What Would You Do?”; but I think the answers will be obvious.”

Here are some of the answers to the above question:

  • Let’s hope someone in the community takes care of this animal the same way he treaded this lady. Waste of time going though the legal system.
  • He should be shot on sight.
  • 4 words…..tall tree, short rope.
  • They caught him and he is pleading not guilty, I hope they lock him up and throw away the key on this piece of garbage
  • i agree. As a young black man.. This is horrifying… sickening… He needs to be thrown in prison and then they should throw away the key… Bad enough black men have a bad rep, this doesnt help at all…

beat-up-women-513

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Now my questions are:

Why no outrage concerning domestic violence and abuse? Why is the church silent? Why do Preachers send the abused back to what we witnessed in the video? Why no concern for the women who suffer this evil every day of their lives and some die? What makes this crime different besides the fact that this was a home invasion? The action of the perpetrators are the same are they not – both robber and abuser?

Most of all, why do we close our eyes? This level of brutality happens in American homes and around the world daily – 24-7. Worst of all, many perpetrators are so-called “Christians.” Why????

“but when people in the community see what it really looks like that’s why we got the outpouring of assistance that we did.”

OK world, now you have had an opportunity to “see what it really looks like,”  – the evil of domestic violence – what are you going to do about it?

If you see yourself as the aggressor in this video and you continue, you really have no heart.

Sigh….

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women in hospital

Woman allegedly professes love for man who beat her with baseball bat

“When KCTV5 last spoke to Taylor, she said she hoped to inspire other women and girls to stand up against domestic violence and break the silence.”

“You can stand up for yourself. There’s ways you can do it, even if you have to whisper in somebody’s ear and have somebody else take action for you. There’s always a way to get out,” Taylor said.

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WHY DON’T PEOPLE TALK ABOUT DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

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DO ABUSERS HAVE A CONSCIENCE?

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DOMESTIC ABUSE IN CHRISTIAN HOMES – Recommended Reading

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Prayer-Request2Please click on picture to request prayer.

http://www.spiritual-side-of-domestic-violence.org

No portion of this web site may be copied, edited, or used in any form without prior permission.

© Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence Org. – 2013

All rights reserved.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on July 6, 2013 in VIOLENCE AMONG US

 

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